lullabyknell:

Alright, so I just watched the scene in PS where Hagrid is telling Harry about Voldemort and doesn’t want to say the name. Harry is like, “Maybe if you wrote it down?” and Hagrid is like, “Nah, can’t spell it.”

And that reminded me of how it’s basically canon (I headcanon it anyway) that nobody pronounces Voldemort’s name the way Voldemort (and J.K. Rowling) intended – with the T supposed to be silent. Bc it’s French, right? And so it’s kind of a joke in fandom that nobody says Voldemort’s chosen name right and it drives the Dark Lord absolutely nuts or whatever. So what if people not being able to spell Voldemort is actually pretty common in the Wizarding World?

Like, what if, when Voldemort first started to go public, the newspapers kept on spelling his name wrong? Like sometimes it’s Volldemort and sometimes it’s Voldemore because no one at the Daily Prophet or any other publication is actually sure. Anyway, who the hell cares if they have a typo or two? (Voldemort. Voldemort cares. A lot.)

Maybe Imogen Thorpe in Fashion writes an article commenting on the Knights of Walpulgis’ choice of robes at the Minister’s New Year’s Ball and decides that she’ll just write it as Voldimorte. And Wilbur Hicks in Financial Reports is the worst with getting names right and just writes Volbimort in the hopes the editor will catch it, but Intern Beatrice Fowler is a muggleborn Hufflepuff in the middle of getting her university degree, so she’s just like, “Huh, weird name, right?” and Intern Travis Collins who hasn’t slept in five days just shrugs at her.  And Hester Whittle in Political Reports is hard of hearing and this isn’t a name from the Sacred Twenty-Eight, so she scribbles down Vuldimmori and wonders what those damn frogs think they’re doing trying to get involved in British politics – foreign bastards wouldn’t have dared back in her day.

And imagine, even during both wars, people are still getting it wrong. Diagon Alley has graffiti on the shop walls that says DOWN WITH BARON VOLLDINORT! The Ministry of Magic under Death Eater occupation has a room full of anti-Voldemort fliers where the name continuously switches between Voledeemorte and Vouldiomrt and, oh god, Wuldimurr. “It’s foreign,” Fred explains very seriously to Kingsley, right before Potterwatch, as George and Lee turn them out by the hundreds and Remus is basically crying with laughter into a table.


Tags:

#Harry Potter

boxfivebaritone:

wrench-wench:

soryualeksi:

green-tea-and-baby-carrots:

lycanthropuns:

icanhelpyouthere:

icanhelpyouthere:

Headcanon that McGonagall is offended on a personal level that Umbridge loves cats. 

This literally got 600 more notes just while I was at dinner what the fuck

How has nobody thought about this before tbh

Ok but imagine McGonagall in cat form prowling around the castle, in strategically chosen places so that Umbridge will come across her. 

Umbridge takes the cat back to her office and feeds it a little saucer of milk. The cat starts coming back to Umbridge’s office around the same time every night, until eventually Umbridge gets into a little routine of setting out a saucer of milk for the cat before bed. 

McGonagall now has all the best secrets on Umbridge, all of the results of the evaluations, and most importantly, is in a perfect position to spy on the ministry for the Order of the Phoenix. 

All because Umbridge is obsessed with cats.

The mental image McGonagall lapping up that milk while full of burning hatred for Umbridge amuses me in ways I can hardly describe.

 

aaronechoes


Tags:

#Harry Potter #my past self has good taste #in the usual sense of the tag

skankplissken:

I had a dream about a Star Trek series with a ferengi captain and he was super endearing but it was like…the worst ship in the fleet and it was full of the misfits of starfleet But I loved this captain I loved him who is he

 

obscuruslupa:

this is an amazing idea

 

wearmanyhats:

It’s Nog.

Despite its face as a purported utopia, Starfleet’s got some unfortunate cultural hangups to work through when it comes to certain species, of course. Being the only Ferengi in Starfleet, Nog has to deal with all kinds of racist bullshit from his peers, his superiors, those he eventually outranks.

He makes captain real quick, through a combination of a few open-minded mentors, bull-headed determination, and the good old-fashioned lobes for the business of dealing with people. And he does it despite the bullying, the unfounded rumors and stumbling blocks thrown in his way. He campaigns to have his own ship and gets it simply because the bigots at the top can’t find a legitimate reason to deny it.

But they still try to set him up for failure. They crew his below-substandard ship with the dregs, the misfits, the near-dropouts of the Academy. But instead of getting frustrated, Nog sees opportunity. He knows what his ragtag crew feels like- the unwanted, expected to crash and burn, pushed out to be forgotten.

They know why they’ve been dumped together, pushed aside in the hopes that they’ll just go away. After an admittedly rocky start, Nog sits the crew down in the mess hall and tells these square pegs to start carving corners into the round holes Starfleet has shoved them into. You can’t fit the job? Make the job fit you. We could just give up and be bitter that we’ve all clearly been put here because Admirals Whats-Their-Faces are just waiting for us to bumble into a black hole, or we could surprise them. Prove them wrong.

For himself, Nog adapts the Rules of Acquisition to be compatible with Starfleet culture. His uncle Quark would need a fainting couch if he ever heard, but Nog is thinking profit in a much longer game. He wants to be just the first of many Ferengi to join Starfleet, so he must be a consummate cultural pioneer. More Ferengi in Starfleet might mean eventually Ferenginar joins the Federation. It’s a… very long shot, admittedly, and he might be long dead of old age by the time it happened, but Nog has faith in his people. The females’ liberation movement, going full steam ahead back on his home planet, proves his people can change for the better; it’s a start. Wider acceptance in the galactic community = profit for Ferenginar’s people, and Nog’s idea of profit has expanded somewhat beyond just latinum. (Quark would also need that fainting couch if he ever knew the radical altruistic turn his nephew’s philosophy had taken.)

Ishka listens to her grandson’s weekly transmissions home and could just burst with pride with each one.

He susses out the talents and skills each of his crewmembers has to offer. Puts them to work in ways that dance just around the edges of regulation, finding loopholes in only the way a good Ferengi can. The jerks in charge of handing out assignments keep giving him missions either designed to be a guaranteed fail or are so terrible and frustrating that they should just want to quit, but he turns these fetch quests and garbage details on their side to not only succeed, but return with valuable data or objects of interest. Nothing galaxy-shaking, but more than enough that it makes Nog’s detractors fume at the thought of this upstart shrimp of a Ferengi and all those should-be washouts doing well. Pretty soon Nog’s supporters, the handful of teachers back at the Academy, are all smirking quietly at each other in the faculty conference rooms.

Then Nog and his crew land the big one. One of their little throwaway missions turns over just the right space rock and there’s some universe-ending anomaly staring back at them. Their calls for assistance are treated casually at best- ‘Ugh, it’s the Ferengi and the USS Jury Rig (not their little tub’s real name, but the insult backfired, and Nog’s pretty sure Jenkins is the one who handpainted the nickname on the nacelles during a spacewalk; Nog pretends not to have noticed.), what, did they get caught behind a flock of asteroids?’

Nog and his crew realize help is dragging their warp-speed asses and they’re on their own. Defiantly, they roll their eyes, sigh (gee, shouldn’t we all own condos here at the back of everyone’s priority queue by now?) and get to work. By the time the first ship arrives to help, its just in time to watch the crew of the Jury Rig banish the terrible thing in the sky.

In the fallout, Starfleet command is made aware of all the things Nog and his crew has actually accomplished, along with all the shit they’ve put up with from superiors who set them up to fail. Nog is offered a newer, better ship. Some of the crew are offered promotions, positions on more prestigious ships. To a one, they decline. They’re staying with Captain Nog.

…they take the new ship, though.


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #headcanon accepted

lb-lee:

rampaigehalseyface:

thranduilland:

our-forelsket:

msrmoony:

Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation

Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED

Whatever happens, don’t let Harry name the fucking snake! He’d probably name it Basilisk Nagini

Harry takes his family on a trip around South America where he asks around until he finds the descendants of the snake from the zoo. He congratulates the snake family on their grandfather’s return home and they all toast his memory, while Ginny and the kids look on in confusion at Harry hissing with a whole treeful of snakes.

I would read fic about the future of that boa constrictor.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #not being particularly bullshit atm

acedamian:

queerionthewitch:

i like crossovers but i really like the idea of dc and marvel being fictional in eachothers worlds like the teen titans are gonna go see the avengers at the movies tomorrow on their day out and then beast boys gonna do his best hulk impression all day meanwhile a universe over the young avengers are passing around the lastest batman issue and arguing about who could take batman in a fight

i love this too it is my Headcanon

comparativelysuperlative:

Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

OK, but why in the wizarding world would a map of the London Underground come in handy? The guy can teleport; he definitely doesn’t need this for transportation.

You heard it here first: Dumbledore plays Mornington Crescent.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

flatandsassy:

Eventually the 20th Century History class at Starfleet Academy stops being a fringey elective and becomes a required course, and all the cadets are like “this is so irrelevant, why do we have to learn this” and anyone who’s been around for a while is like “there is an 812% chance that you will time travel to the 20th century during your Starfleet career”

“but the temporal prime directive” 

“At the very least you will get trapped a holodeck program based on the 20th century, and you will need to know all these weird idioms”

“But why is it only the 20th – ”

“We don’t know why it’s only the 20th century we have a whole corps of scientists trying to figure out what’s happening with that it seriously makes no sense but in the meantime, knowing how to work a combustion engine is pretty much guaranteed to save your life so get the hell on that.”

#maybe there will just be a 20th century truck #waiting for you in the delta quadrant


Tags:

#Star Trek #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Werewolf McWerewolf

miraniel:

So I know we’re always complaining about Lupin and how it’s ridikulus for someone not born a werewolf to be named freaking “Guy-raised-by-wolf John Wolf-like” but, like, there’s a simple explanation no one ever talks about. 

It’s a freaking assumed name.

Think about it. Remus was a little kid when he got attacked. It would have been all over the papers at the time. It’s in the papers later when another kid gets attacked by Greyback in HBP. So it would ruin everything if Lupin turned up at Hogwarts his first year only to have some wizard-born prat (*cough cough Snape*) say “Lupin? I know that name from somewhere” and go looking through old Daily Prophets. 

Dumbledore was probably like “Why don’t you pick a new name?” and this little shit future Marauder went “Hmm, I’ll go for something subtle.”


Tags:

#Harry Potter #… #headcanon accepted

geostatonary:

Cryptid theory: Bigfoots don’t sexually reproduce; rather, they’re derived from Bigfoot hunters who go too deep and undergo the necessary metamorphosis into a Bigfoot, attracting new Bigfoot hunters in turn as part of a sinister cycle of transformation and reproduction.