Ah di teacha And ah spice Every man grab a gyal And every gyal grab a man
Compulsory sexuality right out the gate? Oh, well. I guess this is Dancehall, after all.
Man to man, gyal to gyal – dat’s wrong
A WILD HOMOPHOBIA APPEARS
Seriously, this has nothing to do with the focus of the song. This song isn’t about gays at all. Kartel just felt the need to throw that in there. Why? The world may never know…
To quote @loki-zen: “I really like cake, here’s a song about cake, let me describe the cake, also by the way FUCK THE FRENCH AM I RIGHT so anyway, this cake…”
SCORN DEM
…And, with that line alone, this song becomes my Problematic Fave. It is a work of art.
All when ah night Yuh pussy feel like sun hot
Spice’s Vagina: Approximately 5,500C at the surface.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mek sure yuh know how fi wuk And nah chat yah ah chat
Ah, right, because singing a song about your sexual prowess is totally showing instead of telling.
Hey, mi cocky longa dan mi knife
Kartel, wah di bloodclat mi jus ask you fi do? Didn’t the song just say not to make ridiculous boasts? YOU HAD ONE JOB
Tell mi wah yuh like Yuh wah mi drive or yuh wah fi ride it like a bike
Figure 1.1: Spice And Kartel Having Sex
Well, yuh haffi ram it hard Di cocky nuh fi lie Damage it fi spite
…Well this just got surprisingly kinky. Not sure if it’s SSC, but I’ll let it pass.
Not becah mi pussy tight Suppose mi put it pon di left Can yuh tek it pon di right Mi nipple dem a ripe
Figure 1.2: Spice’s Breasts
Sen it up inna mi tribe What? titty appetite Every nipple get a bite Mi man haffi go see it Mi and him haffi go fight
Oh, great. Just when I thought this couldn’t get better: She has a boyfriend/husband who doesn’t know they’re fucking and is going to be pissed when he sees the hickies on her breasts. Spice & Kartel: Perfect Role-Models.
Cah me haffi wine pon di cocky like dis Kartel spin mi like a satellite dish
…I don’t think you’re supposed to do that to your satellite dishes…
Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushin Irish
Wait, what? Kartel, I get it, we all know that you’re a wannabe Englishman – but what the fuck do you have against the Irish?
Spice I neva love a pussy like dis You ah my mista You ah my miss Kill me wid di cocky Kill me wid di tightness
You two clearly enjoy having a bit too much murder in your sex lives. Maybe you and @inquisitivefeminist would get along after all?
And when you ah come Whispa someting like dis: “I can’t stop fuckin you”
… … …
Is this really the most romantic pillow talk you could come up with? You aren’t even singing it in a vaguely romantic manner!
Hey, cocky nuh play Me will bruk yuh back
Kartel Confirms: Cocks don’t break backs, people with cocks break backs, and people with granite cocks break their backs lifting Moloch to the sky.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock
The Walk of Shame: A Perk of Fucking Kartel.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
Figure 1.3: Spice’s Vagina
Spice ah you mi love Yuh know how fi do yuh stuff Yuh pussy buff Plus it squeeze like handcuff
Let’s be real: I have seen a lot, but I’m not even sure what kink they’re going for here.
I’m only sure of one thing, really: Kartel could write a pretty interesting Fifty Shades of Grey fan fic.
Kartel ah you mi love See it deh, mi cock it up Fuh yuh ramp ruff Til mi belly cramp up
Stomach Cramps: So Sexeh
Sshhh di climax begun Bear sweat a run Hold mi tight spice Mi feel like mi ah cum
“So, I know that I’m climaxing right now. Ialso feel like I’m coming, but I’m not so sure. How can you tell?”
Mi nah let yuh go So don’t let me done Me two phone a ring and me nah ansa none
In case you’re not sure why she explicitly mentions two phones, it’s the third world equivalent of a rap brag. She is so filthy rich that she can afford not just one but two cellular phones. Two of them! Mobile phones! Bow before her fat stacks, pleb.
And, like, this is a legitimately impressive brag for the target audience. As someone who can see this from both the third world (”Wow, that’s amazing!”) and first world (”…Is that it?”) perspectives, lines like this give me a weird sense of vertigo.
Cah me haffi wine pon di cocky like dis Kartel spin me like a satellite dish Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushing Irish Spice I neva love a pussy like dis You ah my mista You ah my miss Kill me wid di cocky Kill me wid di tightness And when you a come Whispa someting like dis I can’t stop fuckin you
In all seriousness, all of these lines sound more ridiculous on the second run through.
Hey, cocky nuh play Me will bruk yuh back When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Me will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
There are so many ways that this is hella dysfunctional, but I’m just gonna leave that there.
Ah di teacha And ah spice Every man grab a gyal And every gyal grab a man Man to man, gyal to gyal – dats wrong SCORN DEM
Fuck the French! SCORN THEM
All when a night Yuh pussy feel like sun hot When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mek sure yuh know how fi wuk And nah chat yah ah chat
Ooh, maybe he’ll listen to this advice on the second run through?
Cocky nuh play Mi will bruk yuh back
Ha. Ha. Ha.
When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mi will quint it up two time and pop yuh cock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop Mi will mek yuh run out a mi house Inna half ah frock When yuh come inna mi ramping shop A gyal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack When yuh come inna mi ramping shop
Thank you, Kartel, for clearly and persuasively presenting all the reasons why I don’t want to visit your “ramping shop”. >lesbianism increases
This is a fairly old post, but I still think about this bit a lot:
>>In case you’re not sure why she explicitly mentions two phones, it’s the third world equivalent of a rap brag. She is so filthy rich that she can afford not just one but *two* cellular phones. Two of them! *Mobile* phones! Bow before her fat stacks, pleb.
And, like, this is a legitimately impressive brag for the target audience. As someone who can see this from both the third world (”Wow, that’s amazing!”) and first world (”…Is that it?”) perspectives, lines like this give me a weird sense of vertigo.<<
I thought about this a lot last summer, when I was routinely running a mobile hotspot on one phone and playing Pokemon Go on a second, and I think about it a lot now that I’m routinely using two smartphones both of which *I personally* own (the hotspot one was borrowed from Mom).
Because the thing is, I use multiple phones *because I’m poor*. Richer people can afford a single device good enough to do everything they want it to do, rather than having to network multiple inadequate phones into one functioning system. (the first phone was too low-spec to run Pokemon Go itself, and the second had no cell plan of any kind, let alone data) Richer people don’t care that owning a second device, if used properly, grants an additional ~$0.50 – $1/day income stream, because $1/day is immaterial to them.
And yes, I understand that at the level of poverty the song assumes, the alternative to multiple inadequate phones is a *single* inadequate phone, and just not doing the things it can’t do. (or *zero* phones, though I gather that’s increasingly less common these days) But I still think it’s interesting that “has a single mobile device” can indicate either “poor” or “rich” depending on context. (And I suspect even richer people wrap around another time and start using multiple mobile devices again: at least, *somebody* has to be buying Kindles or they wouldn’t make them. God knows what the *very* rich people are up to.)
#music #nsfw text #death mention #reply via reblog #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #(close enough) #adventures in human capitalism #this post brought to you by helping a semi-homeless friend research cheap high-data-limit plans to stick into their old hand-me-down iPhone #because they’re not putting down enough roots in any location to get home Internet set up #so mobile data and the occasional public Wi-Fi is all they have #(they too have been learning the joys of mobile hotspots) #the relationship between financial position and phone usage can be very complicated indeed #homophobia
Okay, as much as I bitch every time I give up one of my overambitious projects halfway through, I think I’m calling it for Kinktober. I’m still gonna try to write all the stories, but maybe the jinx will stop if I’m not aiming for the time limit. :P I’m legitimately a little worried my Gdocs account is gonna get wiped at this rate, or maybe I’ll just take a misaimed shotgun blast. :P
So! I have one story that’s just about done and ready to post, but it needs one more beta. This is the one I think I mentioned in passing when I was ranting about Highlander fic – I got pissed off about how passive Joe/Methos writers always made Joe in bed, just cause he has prosthetic legs, and it so happens that my current fandom also has a character with prosthetic limbs, so I wrote a fluffy little Wes/Hobbie porn in which Hobbie happens to not be wearing his prosthetics and is also very much an active participant. (He was swimming, there was sunscreen, they got distracted. ^_^)
So, uh, if anybody happens to know anybody who might be willing to look at this and tell me if I did anything clueless or offensive? Preferably someone who actually uses prosthetics, but failing that, somebody actually in the mobility-impaired / physically disabled community.
The fic specifics: ~2400 words, M/M, NC-17 fluffy porn. Fandom knowledge not required; “middle-aged retired space marines in love” should hopefully be pretty self-explanatory. ;-) I can’t actually pay, but I can trade a SPAG beta of up to 10k words if you want? (References available on my beta skills.)
Feel free to signal boost.
Reblogging for the daytime crowd. I’d really like to find someone for this.
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast – this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
Tags:
#weather #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death mention
“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written”
This is a legit psychology phenomenon tho like there’s a stop motion version of Alice and Wonderland that adults find viscerally horrifying, but children think is nbd. It’s like in that ‘toy story’ period of development kids are all kind of high key convinced that their stuffed animals lead secret lives when they’re not looking and that they’re sleeping on top of a child-eating monster every night so they see a movie like Coraline and are just like “Ah, yes. A validation of my normal everyday worldview. Same thing happened to me last Tuesday night. I told mommy and she just smiled and nodded.”
Stephen King had this whole spiel i found really interesting about this phenomenon about how kids have like their own culture and their own literally a different way of viewing and interpreting the world with its own rules that’s like secret and removed from adult culture and that you just kinda forget ever existed as you grow up it’s apparently why he writes about kids so much
An open-ended puzzle often gives parents math anxiety while their kids just happily play with it, explore, and learn. I’ve seen it so many times in math circles. We warn folks about it.
Neil Gaiman also said that the difference in reactions stems from the fact in “Coraline” adults see a child in danger – while children see themselves facing danger and winning
i never saw so much push back from adults towards YA literature as when middle aged women started reading The Hunger Games. They were horrified that kids would be given such harsh stories, and I kept trying to point out the NECESSITY of confronting these hard issues in a safe fictional environment.
SAGAL: No. I mean, for example, your incredibly successful young adult novel “Coraline” is about a young girl in house in which there’s a hole in the wall that leads to a very mysterious and very evil world. So when you were a kid, is that what you imagined?
GAIMAN: When I was a kid, we actually lived in a house that had been divided in two at one point, which meant that one room in our house opened up onto a brick wall. And I was convinced all I had to do was just open it the right way and it wouldn’t be a brick wall. So I’d sidle over to the door and I’d pull it open.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: And it was always a brick wall.
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: But it was one of those things that as I grew older, I carried it with me and I thought, I want to send somebody through that door. And when I came to write a story for my daughter Holly, at the time she was a 4 or 5-year-old girl. She’d come home from nursery. She’d seen me writing all day. So she’d come and climb on my lap and dictate stories to me. And it’d always be about small girls named Holly.
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: Who would come home to normally find their mother had been kidnapped by a witch and replaced by evil people who wanted to kill her and she’d have to go off and escape. And I thought, great, what a fun kid.
It’s anxious adults who desperately want to “soften” stories. Kids prefer the real thing: with monsters, bloodthirsty ogres and evil murderous stepmothers; where the littlest brother always wins and all the villains are horrendously punished in the end. The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong.
Sometimes. Other times you have small anxious children who really, really don’t want anything upsetting or traumatic in their stories. Those do exist; I was one. The whole thing about “children don’t want soft stories, children want gore and horror and decapitated barbies” may apply to a majority of children, but not all of them. :P
#i also went hoppity-skip of my own volition #i am not and was not a Real Child #still kind of sensitive about that #i was easily frightened and easily traumatized #and the only people who seem to acknowledge that possibility at all #are like Think Of The Children conservative activists and helicopter parents #idk if i have a point here #i just get a little tetchy about Real Children
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Oh god, same.
The person right before you in the chain says “The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong”, and while there’s a important harm *reduction* in that, also very important is “so they need a universe where things *aren’t* threatening for a change”.
Why the fuck *wouldn’t* you want a break from that hellscape?
I did read Coraline as a kid, and I don’t think I found it *especially* horrifying, but “not especially horrifying” is *not* *saying* much at that age.
(Although, re: decapitated Barbies specifically, I *did* play barber-surgeon† with my stuffed animals. This somehow did not stop me from being what I think was the expected level of horrified by those bits of Toy Story; it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realised I was Sid.)
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There’s *some* ways in which I rolled with it more as a kid (for example, my inclination towards fluff is actually *stronger* now), but I think that’s…sort of a learned-helplessness kind of thing? When horror is everywhere, there’s nothing you can do *but* take it.
†I don’t think I ever actually called it that, but I figure that term gives you a good idea of the sort of things involved.
Tags:
#the last time I walked into a grocery store and they started playing That Song #I walked right back out and listened to Florence and the Machine on my smartphone while I waited for them to be done #(and it *still* sucked just not as much) #ten-year-old me did not have that option #reply via reblog #long post #amnesia cw #ageism #nsfw text? #death mention #illness mention #my childhood
@sinesalvatorem, I was going to reblog your post [link], but I figure giving poverty advice in a reblog when the OP is about how one shouldn’t give poverty advice is asking for trouble (especially when OP has relatively few notes), so I’m pinging you on a fresh post instead.
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>>On that note, if anyone who reads this has any life hacks wrt saving money or earning extra income, or knows online resources that have compiled a bunch of them, please tell me! I already know of quite a few, but I’m always looking for more.<<
Hey, look, a special interest!
(or, well, part special interest, part coping mechanism)
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(Disclaimers: I acknowledge that for any or all of these things, you [may already do them]/[may not find them worthwhile]/[may not be able to do them at all]. If anything in the rest of this post sounds like I don’t, that’s just because it’s sometimes easier to get the words out that way.
A more specific version that I feel is particularly worth pointing out: while I have had plenty of financial difficulties and qualify as “poor” by many definitions, I have never (quite) been *broke*. Some of these tips will be stuff like “how to spend $800 in one day in order to avoid spending $1,400 over four months”, and if you never have $800 on hand at any given time feel free to ignore that (though maybe file them away for if/when you reach a point in your life where you can afford to tie up some money for a while in order to spend less in the long run).)
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This has been kind of a recurring theme on my blog lately, but: housemates are so important. Finances are best played as a team sport: going it alone is sadly necessary in some situations, but it’s definitely Hard Mode, and being poor is hard enough as it is without adding more difficulty modifiers on top of it.
(It *is* painful to have to watch people you share finances with spend money in ways you don’t approve of, but–I remind myself at such times–it’s still completely worth it for all the bulk discounts and such you can get. (Although I’m sure there are *some* people out there somewhere who are careless enough with money that this would not be true, and obviously you don’t want to share finances with such people.))
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People hate on Uber-type things a lot, but honestly, they really can be a lifesaver. Delivery gigs are what tipped us over into being in the black for March†. (Up ~CAD$230 over the course of that month! God, it’d been *so* long since our money had been on any kind of upward trend for any significant length of time.) Some companies in some places will also hire bicyclist or even pedestrian delivery freelancers.
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People also hate on advice to avoid bank-related fees because sometimes when you’re poor they’re unavoidable, but it’s still worth checking that each fee really *is* unavoidable before resorting to it.
(You know why I switched from annual statements to quarterly? Because I found out while preparing the 2017 statement that my parents had gone below their minimum chequing-account balance (which incurs a CAD$11 fee for each month it happens) *eleven months* out of the year, and had been quietly shouldering it *even though the household as a whole had enough money to cover everyone’s minimum balances*: it was just disproportionately in the kids’ accounts because at the time only the kids were employed. I immediately insisted on providing my parents with an informal, indefinite loan to help them cover their balance††, and started doing more frequent statements so we can catch shit like that sooner.
(Apparently Dad was embarrassed and Mom didn’t want to ~burden~ her children when she was ~supposed~ to be providing for them. And I was like “You can use the money you’re saving in bank fees towards buying me food.”))
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You make a remark about the restaurants in San Francisco being expensive, and of course in this part of Tumblr I hear plenty about how high the rents are. To what extent does the Bay have generally high prices across the board (or for groceries in particular: grocery prices are about to be important), and how far away do you have to get from the Bay for things to stop having that markup?
The New York trick (travel to an area with a lower cost of living, stock up on cheap groceries to bring back) is harder in a place with no nearby-ish country borders or similar clear markers of “you are now entering the Cheap Zone”, but it might still be doable there.
(I think the trick used by people who *live* in Cheap Zones is to use coupons *intended* for places with higher costs of living (with discounts sized accordingly), but which are technically valid there. Occasionally these can even be stacked: Mom almost always brings some coupons (from American websites) to New York.)
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Target does ad-matching: if you show them that another store’s flyer has a sale on a certain food, they will sell you that food at the other store’s sale price, letting you avoid the hassle and transportation costs of running all over town chasing deals. (note that Target does not match produce) The Flipp app [link] will give you the flyers for a (U.S. or Canada) postal code of your choice.
Walmart does not do ad-matching as such (in America; Canadian Walmarts still do it), but if you scan your Walmart receipt into their app, they will issue you an e-gift card for the amount you *would* have saved if they allowed it.
There might be other stores in your particular area that do matching, but these are the only ones I found when I was looking this up in an Arizonan context recently. It seems to be less common in America than it is in Canada.
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Running ad videos and occasionally doing other stuff through Swagbucks is a nice way to get a bit of supplemental income. I recently helped Mom write a guide to using it [link], so I will direct you there. (please use the referral links, I’d very much appreciate it)
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If you have anything that gives you a discount on Amazon purchases and/or generates income in the form of Amazon credit (like, say, Swagbucks), bear in mind that Amazon has an ever-expanding selection of other stores’ gift cards [link] (including, notably, Safeway [link]), almost all of which can be purchased using Amazon credit.
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There’s this one program of incentives to encourage lower electricity use during peak periods [link] that I keep getting ads for from advertisers who don’t realise I’m not Torontonian, which is only available in Toronto and parts of California (weird list, I know). Is that applicable to you, or likely to become so?
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I haven’t done any freelance audio transcription for Rev [link] in a while, but you might be better suited to it than I am. (Maybe your picking-out-what-people-are-saying-at-crowded-parties ability would help you here?)
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>>At one point, I even had a list of which staple items are cheaper at which stores, but homelessness means I keep moving too much for that to ever stay relevant.<<
Some grocery stores let you look up their prices online, making it easier to collect data for such lists and less painful (relatively) to keep making new ones for new places.
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I recently systematically went through the websites of every cell company available in this area and determined the single best phone plan for getting our house phone to do everything we currently need it to do while paying as little as possible, and I am very glad I did. If we hadn’t been careful, we could easily have ended up paying twice as much or more.
Unfortunately, there is essentially zero overlap between my available cell companies and yours, so I can’t just skip you to the end result of “Public Mobile is great; Freedom Mobile *might* be even better *if* you’re planning to only use your phone in cities”: you’d have to either do the comparisons yourself or find somebody more local who’s done it.
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Some restaurants and the occasional grocery store will give you free food on your birthday. The selection is heavily location-dependant; there are various websites listing the available things for a given place (example: https://www.favoritecandle.com/free-birthday-meals/San-Francisco/CA), though their information is often out of date and you’ll need to check with each restaurant’s own website. Most require newsletter signups (I have a dedicated email address specifically for newsletters from people who might give me free stuff); many require you to buy something else in order to receive the freebie with it, but there are a few that are outright free (except transportation costs, of course: plan your route carefully, and ideally have them be on the way to somewhere you were going anyway). Last year I got a muffin (Starbucks) and a large fruit slushie (Booster Juice): this year Starbucks has unfortunately stopped offering freebies unless you buy at least one thing from them per year (any time during the year, though, not specifically your birthday! still suitable for lots of people!), but I’ve found a couple more newsletters and am set up to get a bag of chocolate-covered almonds (Giant Tiger) and a hamburger (Harvey’s), plus another slushie. (And who knows, maybe I’ll end up at Starbucks at some point between now and November and regain muffin eligibility for this year.)
(maryellencarter, if you’re reading this, note that I’m planning to give you a pre-sifted list of these for your birthday: you don’t need to go figuring this out yourself. I’ll probably compile and send it in October sometime, so that there’ll be less time for circumstances to change while still leaving room for the restaurants to consider you to have been on their newsletter for a sufficient length of time beforehand.)
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My finances tag, “adventures in human capitalism”, might have some other stuff that I missed or covered in less detail here.
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†I don’t have a good picture of our finances after March yet: I’ve switched to preparing quarterly financial statements (formerly annual), but I haven’t finished collecting and processing the data from Q2, so right now it’s scattered around various bank accounts and credit-card records of four different people and I can’t see what it’s like overall.
††Honestly, I don’t really care whether they pay it back or not. Money used for things beneficial to me is mine for all practical purposes, and I’m not too concerned with whose bank account it happens to be in. (Mom expressed her gratitude at my “selflessness” recently, but I’m *really* not selfless: I’m just very aware that working together is in my own best interest. I don’t make anywhere near enough to survive alone: hell, often I can’t even contribute an equal share towards the group’s expenses, and have to find non-income ways to contribute like accounting and pest control. (I’ve gotten pretty good at killing houseflies. As long as they’re up against a window they’re easy.))
Tags:
#this post technically qualifies as: #oh look an original post #but is closer to the spirit of: #reply via reblog #adventures in human capitalism #long post #death mention #food #home of the brave #our home and cherished land
the least realistic thing about star trek is that starfleet uniforms don’t have pockets and nobody complains about it
My instinct is to agree with this, but like, when I really think about it…
No money, no credit cards, identification is all vocal/fingerprints/retinal, so no wallet.
Again, doors are voice activated, or just unlocked by entering a code. No keys.
Communication devices are tiny and stick onto clothing starting in Next Gen. TOS had bulkier communication that they carried around or kept in, like, packs and stuff, so the arguments for pockets is a little more valid, and if I remember correctly, those costumes did have pockets, tho I could be wrong about that. But anything post TNG, the point is moot anyway.
Tricorders and phasers are really the only thing anyone’s carrying around, and that’s usually on away missions where they’d be bring their packs/holsters or just have them out. I mean, who wants to stick a phaser in their pocket?
So, yeah. There’s not much little stuff people need to carry around everywhere. And if they are preparing for a longer journey or want to bring bulkier things, well…just bring a bag. It fits more anyway.
what if i find a cool rock and want to take it home with me
Every time a member of the USS Enterprise has found a cool rock and taken it home, it has resulted in eleven deaths, six temporal displacements, the holodecks breaking again, and somebody getting turned into a lizard. Pockets are a privilege, not a right.
Tags:
#Star Trek #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death mention
#Amenta RP #Amenta #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #nsfw text #injury cw #death mention #suicide cw? #I feel like this probably deserves some additional warning tag but I’m not sure what #(they do say @industrialbruise is his own content warning but probably a lot of my followers would not know that) #high context jokes
People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.
I love this fucking book
“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.
“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”
there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying
I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.”
And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”
Tags:
#The Martian #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #huh maybe I should read this book #(though my to-read list is way too long as it is so I don’t seriously expect to get around to it) #death mention #(which is related to the previous post actually) #(I tag very strictly and consistently for death) #(because I determine whether to tag for it using my seven-year-old self as a model) #(and seven-year-old me was extremely sensitive to even the slightest mention of death)
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 
