the only reason I want to visit Australia is to confirm whether “we’re not here to fuck spiders” is in fact a real saying really in use or if Australians on the Internet have united in the world’s most dedicated prank to get foreigners to use ridiculous phrases

Australians DIVIDED in the notes:

  • “oh it’s a southern thing”
  • “oh it’s a northern thing”
  • “it’s a rural thing”
  • “it’s a Sydney thing”
  • “it’s not a thing”
  • “it’s a real thing and super common and my father said it to me every night as a bedtime mantra”
  • “it wasn’t a real thing but after lying to foreigners about it often enough it became a real unironic saying”
  • “lying to foreigners is the only reality Australians know”
  • “some of us are here to fuck spiders”


#Australia #language #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #spiders #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what

Anonymous asked: just realized you have to talk to your plumber in australian and not in real english fucked up, y’all are always speaking with an accent and shit



shit, talking to plumbers is about the only time I talk real Australian

Me: strewth how about that pipe hey, it’s a bit alright?? call me a drongo but I’ve gone and buggered it with the wrench! now I may be smoking a galah’s tail, but whaddya reckon we chuck some silicone on the socket here and it should be all beaut by tomorrow arvo!

Plumber: what the fuck are you saying


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #language #Australia



I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”

I said, “No. Is that still required?”

Oh my God.


#Australia #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what

Anonymous asked: (2/2 I guess) And saying things like “there are affordable areas even in the Bay” is kind of an odd thing to try and placate somebody with when the prices even of empty land in the Bay Area are SO high compared to almost all other areas of the country – especially those areas where there’s a high concentration of households living in or near poverty. Property prices in most parts of the non-urban US are super low VS. the largely-unattainable, sanctified Bay Area. Have you actually compared?



(I did not get the first part of this ask.) 

Yes, I have actually compared. For many people, living in the Bay is a reasonable financial choice, even if they don’t have much money or if they want to donate a lot. In most parts of the U.S. I could not live with roommates, because places where I worked wouldn’t be so near the places where my friends worked, and I would need to own a car, and I still might pay less than I pay now but probably not so much less as to come out ahead taking the car into account. 

Our house in El Cerrito, 10 min walk from the BART, was $550/bedroom. I do not think I’d end up spending dramatically less than $550 on housing+car anywhere I lived, and I do not think it’s unreasonable to tell people “there are affordable parts of the Bay” when what I mean is “there are $550/mo parts of the Bay where you do not need to own a car”. It was a nice safe neighborhood where I frequently went for walks at night, too.

Moving to the Bay is not an option for everyone! But if you’re thinking of it as sanctified and unattainable I think you are looking at prices in like, SF and Berkeley proper.

That works out to both cheaper than my hard limit price is and cheaper than the rock bottom student price here. And I cheated by inheriting a car but I still have running costs.

I live in an expensive part of Australia but not Sydney level horrible. And our public transport is terrible here- it’s comparitively functional in Sydney and Melbourne but those are expensive or 3 hour commute afaict.


International price comparisons are tricky, though.

Like, from what I’ve heard of Australian prices, they tend to spend about the same amount of minimum-wage-time-units for stuff as Americans do, but their minimum wage is much higher. As long as you’re paying for local goods with local labour, it generally works out, but it makes things confusing when you’re trying to compare (or, god forbid, move) between countries.

(I could definitely be wrong, though, I’m mostly going off of numbers I’ve overheard from friends)

(Personally, as of 2016 my household’s average per-person per-month housing+transport cost was…*checks spreadsheet, feeds results into calculator*…about CAD$290. Alternatively: USD$217*, 25.4 minimum-wage-hours*. But we’re in an unusually good position, and I think a lot of people in our area are paying more like twice that much.)

*Using 2016 rates, to match the time period of the spreadsheet.


#reply via reblog #adventures in human capitalism #home of the brave #Australia #trying to sound reasonably friendly; not sure if successful






The disastrous Australian Emu War.

Someone turned it into a comic. YES.

never forget the emu war


Yes, this is real.

I visited Australia once, and an imprisoned emu (in a zoo) tried to continue fighting the war by biting my jacket hood. I tried to take a photo of it, got a terrible photo, but quickly got some other visitor to photograph me with the emu behind me.

^my bad emu picture

^ me with an emu behind me

(sorry, photos don’t display hood-biting)


#bird #emu #comic #history #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(‘casualties and losses: dignity’)


 (Hydrophis elegans) elegant sea snake 

The elegant sea snake (Hydrophis elegans) is a highly venomous Sea Snake in the Elapid Family. They are found off the coast of Western Australia, Northern Territory of Australia, and Queensland Australia.


#snake #what a cutie #what a…toxic…dangerous…cutie #well I suppose Australia does have a reputation to uphold






The Gouldian finch are small, brightly colored birds with green backs, yellow bellies, and purple breasts  with a light blue uppertail and a cream undertail. Sometimes called lady gouldians, their facial color can vary, but black is the most common. Gouldian finch chicks are equipped with blue phosphorescent beads along their mouths, making it easy for the parents to feed them in the darkness of the nest cavity.

Photo credit: Greg Grall/National Aquarium


WHAT indeed.

Jurassic Park, you got a lot of livin’ up to do.

perspicaciousembroiderist? Knew I’d seen those finches before.

I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am to learn that this is an Australian bird.


#bird #the more you know