In my great-grandfather’s spy memoir we found this summer, he talks at length about how he was able, at the age of 30, to infiltrate the communist party by pretending to be an at-risk homeless teenager (yes, literally a “hello fellow commie teens!” move). He also explains, in great detail, how he was able to do this because he had an unusually youthful, round and baby-ish face….a face which has been passed down through the generations to me. (There’s also a long, long paragraph where he’s trying to explain to his intended audience and also to himself the overall concept of empathy as if it’s this strange foreign belief system.)
But that means that now, in our family, we justify all our skincare and make-up purchases by claiming they support our spy work, “How will I ever infiltrate the communist party without this $15 bottle of snail serum?”, or, approvingly after applying make-up, “I look ready to infiltrate the communist party!”
Or, specifically, in the context of a text I just got from my mother that said only, “I have to stop at ulta on the way home or I’ll lose my chance to infiltrate the communists”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #storytime #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
My tablet’s still busted, but I wanted to do somethin cute for Halloween
Click to see what these silly ghosts are up to~
fUCK-
Tags:
#ghost #Halloween #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #the other category tag would be a spoiler #I will compromise by rot13-ing it #(so you can see it now if you really want) #then coming back in a couple days to add the decrypted version for archival purposes #evpxebyyvat #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #rickrolling
No I don’t, I have different spatulas that are best for different situations! I have the spatula that’s easy to clean and perfectly flat but slightly too long to be ergonomic and the spatula that’s really ergonomic but slightly bent.
1) I will fight you for the honor of my pasta not-bolognese, and 2) you’re just saying that because you can’t use a spatula to cook rocks.
Tags:
#food mention #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #high context jokes #(although I did mention the context of the rock thing in a previous post) #((I think I’m also in the ”different spatulas for different situations” camp)) #((mostly based on what material the spatula is made out of))
But how many bookstores do you know the location of in your state, just for reference? Because my guess is it’s still too big to know even a quarter of them, which I think op’s post was about.
If the conversation happened at all, the poor possibly-fictional American was probably just trying to talk about Hay-on-Wye. Hay-on-Wye is the most famous book town in the world, with a prestigious literary festival and so many “shops with all the books in” that the streets are literally full of open-air bookshelves. It’s like Pinterest and Diagon Alley and Waterstones all created some kind of massive hashtag-book-life village for the sole purpose of trying to attract Americans. It’s on the Wales/England border and a tourist would have approached it from Bristol.
This is hardly an unreasonable conversation starter, not like how British people are always demanding to know where I’m from, and then, when I release the information, say chirpily “I have a brother in San Diego!” as if that isn’t on the other side of a continent. And then! ! the only thing for it! is to say “Oh, I don’t believe in San Diego”! and turn away!
In general, the premise of the OP surprises me a bit, because I bet that I could put a photo of a single tree from somewhere in the UK on my Tumblr with a slightly incorrect caption, and three people would immediately correct me, because they would know that specific tree with an uncomfortable intimacy. I know because you have done this to me. It’s like a national pastime for you all. I’m shaken by OP, I am shaken to my fucking core and I respect them so much for having this terrifyingly novel attitude. I bet they’d look me dead in the eyes and tell me they had never heard of London. This is some kind of Gen Z shit that I’m not prepared for.
Because I know, I KNOW that I could spout a bunch of gibberish CAPTCHA word salads that are much more obscure directions than this, and y’all will IMMEDIATELy know exactly where in the British Isles I was talking about to a fuckin’ five foot radius, like some kind of wild scavenger hunt, you’ll all be like “oh did you enjoy it Elodie? did you go to the tea shop”
I swear to God I’ll do it. how do we place bets. how does that work exactly, does anyone know
Tags:
#UK #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #home of the brave #geography #discourse cw? #embarrassment squick? #(I actually kind of find it weirdly gratifying when people ask me questions about where I’m from with bad geographical assumptions encoded) #(I know that sounds unlike me but) #(I tend to suck at foreign geography and I find it reassuring that foreigners also suck at my geography) #(like it’s fair you know? it’s not just me‚ means I don’t feel as guilty about Shouldn’t I Know This) #((I’ve had multiple people at work express concern about my relatives dealing with hurricanes)) #((and I’ve had to explain that we’re from the *north*east and hurricanes are just big thunderstorms by the time they reach us)) #(((unless they’re named Sandy))) #(((but Sandy was a pain in Ontario too))) #((one time I told a Brit I was travelling to Massachusetts and he wished me luck with the jet lag)) #(((it’s in the same time zone))) #tag rambles
one of my favorite tropes of all time is when the author tries to replace curse words with a more ‘family friendly’ alternative or invent new words for worldbuilding purposes but they use existing words that make the whole thing unintentionally hilarious out of context
#language #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”maybe I would have listened…to you…if you didn’t keep saying ‘shock’…all the time…”)
WELP, I incepted myself with my own tags, here’s a ficlet.
“Quick question,” Bucky said.
Steve looked up, but didn’t stop moving passports and stacks of cash into a nondescript blue duffel, his mind busily ticking through logistics. He’d grab the glock taped behind the hidden drawer in the desk on their way out, and they could buy new clothes once they got across the border into neutral territory, so they didn’t need much else, apart from whatever Bucky wanted to bring. One duffle should be enough. “Yeah, honey?”
Brinens and Things 