#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fun with loopholes #overly literal interpretations #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
God I hate the take of “Lmao computer programmer are literally heckin wizards!!!!” But Jesus fucking Christ sometimes it feels like I could tell people their computer is literally haunted by demons and they would believe me.
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
#i like to think data took him all the way to the brig tossed him in and left#and then came back 60 seconds later and was like ‘i believe i have successfully played a ‘practical joke’ on you :)’#riker loses it & claps him on the back like ‘wow. good job u rly had me going. dont ever fucking do that again’
Actually it’s 73 seconds. Data, knowing something of how human minds work, estimates that Riker will give him 60 seconds to come back (because humans prefer “round numbers”, however arbitrary the units). After 60 seconds it will take 4 seconds for Riker to fully process the conclusion that Data is, in fact, not coming back after all, and an additional 9 seconds to build to the optimum level of anxiety.
#Star Trek #TNG #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #embarrassment squick #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
#A Rental Car Takes a Left Down Rake Street and Disappears #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #overly literal interpretations #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Hi this is absolutely killing me, could someone please point me in the direction of that video of the guy in like a train station who’s pretending to be a street preacher but he’s reading the Very Hungry Caterpillar like it’s the book of Genesis
God bless you
thank you
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Christianity #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
the new vampire care package has a pamphlet called “The Garble and You!” because of course it does so I need to give a basic rundown of the garble without being infodump-y but also I need to think abt the fact that alex (believes in the garble) and quinn (doesn’t) would have been bickering the whole time while writing it hunched over a laptop together and how that translates to the text……
it also can’t be SCARY bc they want new vampires to feel at ease and there’s not much that makes one feel less at ease than the entire concept of the garble if I’m being honest
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #A Rental Car Takes a Left Down Rake Street and Disappears #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
#X Files #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food #embarrassment squick? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Threshold Day is the anniversary of the airing of Threshold, one of the, if not THE, most batshit episodes of Star Trek Voyager, and Star Trek in its entirety. (Spoilers for Threshold below.)
In it, Lt. Tom Paris decides that, due to his enormous daddy issues, he will only be redeemed if he lives up to his potential by making it into the history books. In this case, it’s by breaking the transwarp barrier, which does not mean being trans and going into warp, a barrier which I’m sure was broken way before this, but going Warp 10 (in the new scale). Because apparently exploring basically a new section of the galaxy at the helm of the only Starfleet starship to be there is just garbage in terms of history-making, I guess.
So they find out there’s a 2% chance his personal brain will explode if he does this, and they’re going to let Harry Kim do it instead, but Tom is like, “no, Captain. You don’t understand. I have MASSIVE daddy issues. Also, you’d probably have to promote Harry if he succeeded, and nobody wants that.”
And Janeway is like, “Oh shit, I really don’t want to promote Harry. Also, I have some pretty big daddy issues of my own, so I getchu; have at it. Hope your brains stay unexploded.”
So he successfully does his thing, and he’s like, EVERYWHERE AT ONCE, MAN. He sees everything. Past, present, Harry in the shower – I mean, future – in all places at once. Which is why it’s odd that he’s so surprised when he collapses in the Mess Hall after drinking one of Neelix’s truly noxious brews. He should have known how gross it was going to be.
Anyway, the next twenty minutes or so are the EMH trying to stop Tom from turning into a weird gross scaly creature, with limited success. He stops being able to breathe oxygen. He gets super paranoid and rants a lot. He yells about pepperoni (I am not kidding). He asks for a dying kiss from Kes, which leads to a truly marvelous turn-down line: “I’m sorry, Tom. If we let down the forcefield, you’ll suffocate,” which I will now use for any unwanted come-ons. He legit DIES, then comes back to life a pretty long time later. He yells at Janeway, and then, like anyone who dares yell at Janeway would expect, his tongue literally falls out of his mouth.
Finally, he’s getting pretty close to salamander territory, when the last 15 minutes give up on making ANY sense. He busts out of Medbay, kidnaps Janeway, goes to Warp 10 again, turns them both into complete salamanders (I guess the EMH literally did nothing to help Tom, because apparently Janeway makes it through the transformation just fine without medical attention), and then HAS LIZARD BABIES with her.
Which we know, because the Voyager crew manages to find them three days later, and in that time apparently Janeway has changed over and already had the babies. Also, they were able to find a shuttle that literally could have gone anywhere in the entire universe. Chakotay then shoots the salamanders and they take them back, leaving the babies to…I don’t know, sala-meander around or something. Why is Chakotay’s first reaction to phaser the largely-sedentary salamanders? I have no idea.
Cut immediately to the EMH having been able to just roll back their DNA or something and make them entirely human again as if nothing had happened (If this were possible, why didn’t they just Warp 10 home to Earth and then fix everyone while they evolved? It sounds like it would suck, but so would being lost for 70 years). Janeway insinuates she may have initiated the salamating. (Tom should have said salami instead of pepperoni, in salamander solidarity). They laugh off something that should require about 50 years of counseling. Tom says, “cool, I think I have slightly less daddy issues now.”
YOU KNOW WHO HAS MORE DADDY ISSUES NOW? MAYBE YOUR ABANDONED SALAMANDER BABIES.
AND NONE OF THIS IS EVER MENTIONED AGAIN. OR HAS ANY IMPACT ON THE SERIES. EVER.
And so, we commemorate this weird atrocity (which actually has some nice character development and Emmy-winning makeup, but AT WHAT COST) with a day of commiseration and celebration, largely spearheaded by @captaincrusher. Join us next year…posts are already being prepared.
#oh so that’s why somebody reblogged one of my old Threshold reblogs today #Star Trek #Voyager #Threshold Day #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
#autism #Star Trek #DS9 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #art #fanart #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #ableism cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things 