#memes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the animal that doesn’t exist) #I got the feels-like-home result too #I do not love freely and I feel like ”safe/non-intimidating” is something I strive for more than something that comes naturally #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
People who act like TTRPG players all used to be self-serious hardcore roleplayers who were super into the statistics of fights and playing everything straight clearly never read 2525 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG, which includes such gems as:
65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.
349. Power Word: Beer Me is not a real spell.
579. “Pimp my Death Star” is not a real show, and I’d better believe Grand Moff Tarkin knows this.
687. I cannot backstab anybody with a Buick Skylark.
941. In the middle of a black ops I cannot make an educational video.
1141. In the middle of a Black Ops I will not look at the target’s HR files to see if they have better benefits.
1362. The cleric is not tax exempt.
1658. The words “Rock Opera” will not appear in any of my wishes.
1901. Even if my Jedi has a Scottish accent, can’t have a plaid lightsaber.
2218. We don’t have to consult a neurologist every time somebody fails a paralysis save.
2413. The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn’t had his morning coffee.
2520. At no point in the ritual do I get to ask Siri to read the rest of the exorcism for me.
Oh wow, he wrote more in 2019! I thought he stopped at 2,500! Thanks for the tip!
…oh wow, he’s *still* writing more, with a new (currently small) update so recent that it postdates OP [link].
Tags:
#reply via reblog #recs #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
You ever talk to someone who hates tumblrs userbase but has never actually used it so they’re completely unaware of the absolute batshit stuff that goes on here daily and they’re like “Tumblr? Ugh, that’s that website where everyone thinks Spider-Man is trans”
He is trans and if you disagree you don’t deserve to know about smooth shark
Tags:
#Tumblr: a User’s Guide #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(honestly though *nobody* deserves to know about smooth shark) #(smooth shark is not a thing that should be inflicted on anyone) #(if you don’t know what I’m talking about consider yourself lucky and I hope you never have to find out)
you’d think they would have been able to get more than 50 undergraduates to do. it doesn’t take a long time and requires answering no surveys
Also, psych researchers have a reputation for lying their asses off to the subjects regarding [what a study is actually about] until after it’s over. I would seriously consider pressing the button once or twice just to see if they were telling the truth about it being a shock button.
(Not sure if I’d *do* it, but I’d seriously consider it, and I would definitely wonder if it was some sort of covert test that I was failing by not pressing it.)
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#the first draft of this post only had commentary in the form of the tags #”basically what shacklesburst said” #”I’m not comfortable with the gender-focused framing here but I’m reblogging for Electroshocks Georg” #but–while I’m still primarily reblogging for Electroshocks Georg–I realised I did in fact have something to say #reply via reblog #the power of science #sexism cw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Spiders Georg
Winter is always this horrific balance. On one hand, it’s too cold to wash a car. You’d have to be stupid to be out there in -20°C, running out of your house with a bucket of boiling water, trying to get to your panels before it instantly freezes solid just from touching the outside air. On the other hand, the city keeps putting road salt down like they own a dividend stake in the abstract concept of salt. You need to wash, and yet you can’t.
Now, I also know what you amateur scientists are going to say. “It can’t rust, it’s too cold for the endothermic reaction of iron oxidation to occur, you’re fine to wait to wash the car when it warms up.” Then it’ll be rusting! Do you also wait for your enemies to wake up before you stab them to death? Don’t answer that. Also, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Mars is red because it’s made of rust, and it’s hard to get a lot colder than there, too.
Most “car people” just shrug their shoulders at this problem and buy a cheap winter beater. This vehicle is sacrificial, they say. It does not bother me that it is corroding away before my very eyes, because doing so prevents my nice Lexus from developing spots of rust as well. These people also must have a “parts kid,” just in case something happens to their firstborn, because every car is special and unique and deserves to be preserved. Plus, if they keep buying up and destroying all the $1000 rust buckets, then what am I going to drive?
Last week, I awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find myself in possession of the answer. I would simply add a sacrificial coating to my vehicle, encasing it in an inch of bulletproof and saltproof epoxy. So far, this method has worked really well. The salt just slides right off it, and onto the car behind me. There’s just one downside: since the doors no longer open, I have to keep the window rolled down all the time so I can get in and out. You might think this is “cool,” like the Dukes of Hazzard, but Bo and Luke never had to deal with trying to get a pregnant raccoon out from the back seat of their Volare.
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #unreality cw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
One of the vanishingly few benefits you get from living in the frozen North of Canada is that it’s simply too cold for a lot of pesky things. Valley fever? Too damn cold. Poisonous scorpions? Need to be kept above zero at all times, the losers. Subway-sized rats that can take out a schoolyard in less than fifteen minutes? Won’t get fifteen feet before a Dire Owl chucks them into the air to be flash-frozen in the troposphere.
This means that when you buy something especially sketchy from a warmer place, you don’t have to worry too much about disinfecting it. Just leave it outside for a night, and then shake it and watch a cascade of dead roaches fall out. Their pleading eyes (burst from ice forming inside their optic nerves) will look at you guiltily, yes, but it’s not your fault. It’s Mother Nature’s, and if you can’t hang with her, then get out of the kitchen. Or something like that.
Now, this phenomenon hasn’t always worked in my favour. Last summer, I was besieged by an infinite wall of pesky mosquitos. The eggs from these annoying little shitheads can somehow survive the worst of winter, and it’s boring and time-consuming to kill all of them manually, like our ancestors used to.
In a warmer region, these pests are purged by dragonflies the size of an Eaton’s and/or eaten by lizards that sneak into your house and live there, like pets but not. This is simply not possible here, but I foolishly believed I could import a small box of praying mantises sometime around May, when the permafrost covering my driveway just started to break up.
Praying mantises are, in theory, the ultimate badasses, peak predators of nature, invulnerable to anything that the world can throw at them. However, it turns out the shipping company also uses the same technique as me to disinfect packages, making my own efforts largely superfluous. When they got here, all that remained was a box of dead bugs. They didn’t stand a chance. Up here, prayers don’t get answered, because the moisture in your words freezes them solid and they smash to bits on the sidewalk.
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #our home and cherished land #storytime #bugs #death tw? #unreality cw #that last line is a hell of a thing
yesterday I was at gamestop and a man in full Data cosplay walked up to the front counter and I did a double take so hard I nearly broke my neck. So, he walks up and the cashier just casually smiles and goes “How’s it going, Data? What can I do for you?” and Data goes, “I am doing quite well. I was just wondering when you guys would have Destiny 2 in stock.” This mans……literally did not smile or emote at all. He went all in. The cashier was totally non fazed. I, however, was completely shitting my pants cos ya’ll DO NOT understand how good this dude’s cosplay was. It really looked like fuckin data teleported into the middle of game stop in rural ohio to ask about motherfucking destiny 2.
The only time he broke character was when I was stealthily trying to stare at him and thinking about asking for a pic when he was walking out.This dude. Looked at me, completely expressionless. and WINKED at me. Someone collect ya mans he wildin lmfao
The wink isn’t even really ooc I think he would totally do that
Tags:
#if this isn’t real it should be #make it so #Star Trek #TNG #cosplay #storytime #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
Brinens and Things 