carlospalrner:

The hills are alive with the sound of illegal fireworks


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #you can always tell when it’s a holiday weekend #or sometimes even when it’s *going* to be a holiday weekend #they’ll be out there three days in advance sometimes #Happy 4th of July to my American friends #try not to blow yourselves up #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #home of the brave

leeeeverett:

today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

coordinatornarvin:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly – again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

You forgot the best one though-

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #may or may not have reblogged this before #Douglas Adams

THE MANLY NAME GENERATOR

{{Title link: https://spencerdub.me/manlyname/ }}

spencer-dub:

This thing was WAY too much fun to code, and I’m happy it has a home on my website now. Go check it out.

20 bonus points for anyone who finds the easter egg (without reading the source), and 200 bonus points for anyone who gets the generator to naturally produce “Beef McBeefBeef”.

Also, if you feel like donating to pay for hosting, that’d be rad, but entirely optional.

Credit where credit is due: I definitely would not have made this if not for pervocracy’s awesome lampooning of 50 Shades of Grey, in which he refers to Christian Grey with names such as this one. Thanks, Cliff.

Punch VanderCrunch! Smash McFistBody!
Dick Van…VanderJaw?

Oh well, still awesome/hilarious.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #awesome #duuuuude #(in multiple senses of the term)

outofcontextdnd:

“Oh my God, Thera! You can’t just ask people why they’re made of diamond!”

-The half elf to the druid who had just asked a construct why he had a diamond arm.


Tags:

#Mean Girls #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Oregon trail

outofcontextdnd:

Barbarian: I’m just saying, if the game was more like the old dos games back in the day, we’d move a lot faster.

GM: Alright, we can do that. Roll a d20.

Barbarian: *rolls* 13.

Gm: Congrats! you have died of dysentery.


Tags:

#Oregon Trail #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(though Oregon Trail is in that uncomfortable place) #(where I was just old enough to remember *that* I experienced it) #(but not old enough to remember anything *about* the experience) #(not a pleasant feeling that) #(but in any case I’ve heard enough second-hand dysentery jokes to get this one)

charybdiss:

Please watch this I’m in tears

I actually have heard of people (who don’t live in commercials) throwing big menarche parties, of varying levels of embarrassment.

My family didn’t do anything this big, but I did get a necklace and a trip to Olive Garden (I chose the restaurant) for my menarche.


Tags:

#menstruation #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #for a while I wore the necklace during (and only during) periods #but then the string broke #and we haven’t gotten around to fixing it yet