I briefly forgot there were normal humans named Elijah and wondered why this person thought they were getting messages from Actual Prophet and Messiah-Herald Elijah the Tishbite.
also can we take a moment to think of solok, baby vulcan cadet at Starfleet Academy, who tried to study illogical human bonding rituals and somehow got into a twenty-year academically documented feud with sisko? he was probably doing an assignment for his vulcan professor of xenocultural studies. “go and study human bonding rituals”, they told him. “you will be spending a great deal of time with humans, it is necessary to understand the illogical ways in which they function”. that’s logical, cadet solok thinks. i will go to the human establishment called “bar” and attempt to study human bonding rituals.
the next day he hands in his assignment: “human cadets became hostile when told the goal of our study. they had imbibed large quantities of poisonous psychoactive liquids and had poor coordination and diction. cadet sisko challenged me to a wrestling match. when it was pointed out that i had no cause to fight him, and am physiologically superior to humans, he responded ‘suck it’. request for clarification was met with obscenity. in the interest of cultural understanding, i agreed to fight him, and defeated him fairly. when it was pointed out to him that i had foreseen this result, he responded with uncorroborated insults to my parental units. i believe this was a human bonding ritual. it is possible we are now bonded; further studies to follow.”
solok has been studying sisko for twenty years, he’s written a dozen papers. he probably got a grant from the vulcan science academy to show up at DS9 and piss sisko off as much as possible and document the results. his work is probably mandatory reading for first-year vulcans at starfleet academy. “The Effect of Chemical Intoxicants on Human Hostility: When Avoiding A Bar Fight Becomes Impossible” is the most-accessed study in vulcan psychological literature. “human refused to stop trying to fight me” is a recognized mitigating circumstance in disciplinary hearings for vulcan cadets. solok is considered a xenocultural pioneer. he hopes one day sisko will punch him in the face; what a fascinating data point that would make.
Tags:
#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #Star Trek #DS9 #headcanons #violence cw
the other day i listened to an episode of subspace transmissions about the ‘bad boys’ of Star Trek and i’m still not over how they completely missed the biggest bad boy of ds9 and possibly the entire franchise: Dax
has been a boy several times, if we’re being literal
no one is better with the ladies (and guys, others, both and neither) than Jadzia
loveable rogue? Ezri stole a shuttle once and Jadzia was prepared to kill a guy with a bat’leth, and those are just the first two examples that spring to mind
can hustle Ferengi at Tongo
Curzon existed
not always good at mentoring a host candidate, if we take “bad” literally
also, murder is bad
party worm
that time curzon dax set fire to the most dangerous bar in the sector probably just for fun
confirmed alien fucker since at least the mid-23rd century
can you even imagine playing never have i ever with Dax can you IMAGINE
Dedicated Follower of Fashion edited by purplefringe fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine characters: Garak music: Dedicated Follower of Fashion by The Kinks summary: Garak is just a simple tailor
Klingon tumblr is called tm’blarr and if you post a nipple they stab you
With all due respect this is not proper klingon phonology.
A klingon syllable must have a medial vowel.
/bl/ is not an allowed consonant cluster.
rr isn’t in the orthography really it’d just be r
Constructing the Klingon verson of the word, the main problem is what you want to do with the u (/ə/) in tumblr. You could leave it u, pronounced oo (/u/), though I personally would make it I, pronounced like in kit (/ɪ/), because in my dialect that’s pretty close to the schwa (the uh sound in tumblr). In order to keep the random glottal stop (’), because that sounds very klingon (it uses those a lot), I’m going to stick it in the syllable between the b and the l (since, remember, that’s not an allowed consonant cluster, unless it spans a syllable boundary). This is a little odd, as you’d probably just stick your neutral vowel between them, but klingon doesn’t really like CV (consonant-vowel) syllables and it sounds cooler. I like using ih in neutral syllables, but you could always follow the original post’s choice and make it a instead.
It’s probably tImbI’lar (/tɪm’bɪʔ.lar/). tim-bi’-lar (roll the r). Stress on the central syllable.
Edit: in honor of wongbal I have translated the original post as ngech mIllogh Dalabchugh, DaDuQlu’, “if you post a nipple you get stabbed.”
More accurately, as “if you transmit a picture of a woman’s cleavage, you will certainly be stabbed.” The online klingon dictionary is incapable of using normal words and I spent a solid ten minutes searching as many synonyms for upper-chest-areas-of-the-body as I could think of. Also, disclaimer that I’ve only been studying this language for a few months.
Tags:
#Star Trek #The Last Tumblr Apocalypse #language #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”your post was flagged [zalgo]DISHONORABLE”)
i wish i was capable of writing narratively because there is absolutely a fanfiction wanting to exist where the crew of ds9 collectively comes to the agreement that “wormhole aliens” is a really shitty and disrespectful way to refer to your coworker’s sincerely held religious beliefs re: her gods so the bulk of the episode has all non-bajorans randomly trying on different ways to refer to them without saying they are gods because starfleet has a stick up its ass about admitting any given religion can be provably correct. episode ends with an exasperated kira telling everybody that wormhole aliens is way better than anything theyve come up with so please just drop it
the comedy b-plot is odo futilely trying to recycle the euphemisms into explaining to weyoun that he’s not divine and the Founders are not infallible, but it’s small versus far away and weyoun just cant grasp it
Tags:
#oh look an update #story ideas I will never write #Star Trek #DS9 #language #embarrassment squick
Starfleet’s HIDING the TRUTH from us! If you travel too fast you BECOME a NEWT! There’s a universe where we’re all evil and bi and into leather! Starfleet built a SHIP that ran on MUSHROOMS and they’re KEEPING IT SECRET!!!
Everyone: Get a load of this guy! He probably thinks Sisko killed that Romulan too. Truthers
Tags:
#Star Trek #conspiracy theories #oh my god #(I had to look up the mushroom thing) #(apparently that’s from Discovery) #(which I have not had a chance to see)
Can we pls talk about how Andy Robinson, as a claustrophobic man, in the Deep Space Nine episode “By Inferno’s Light” had to play a claustrophobic alien getting a claustrophobic panic attack from being inside a very small and narrow space ALL WHILE wearing a very constricting costume that actually gave him a very real claustrophobic panic attack the first time he wore it? Like, damn son… that is dedication
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 