babymyleopard:

great bedside manners, doc


Tags:

#I knew where this was going from the first image #and at that moment I had already decided to reblog it #(but since it *also* made me laugh I will add this tag:) #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Trek #Voyager

Star Trek Pet Peeve explained:

a-stitch-in-time-and-space:

 whenever the show refers to species as “humanoid” or “not humanoid” – I tend to make an assumption that it’s a universal translator thing, because why would other species also refer to themselves as humanoid???

soooo:

 – Julian learns Kardasi and discovers that the Cardassians have been saying the equivalent of “Cardassian-lite” the entire time (essentially “like Cardassians, but worse” folded into one word)

– Benjamin realises that Bajorans call non-Bajoran bipedal beings the “acceptably unfaithful” (it sounds better in Bajoran)

– Klingons say “weaker than Klingons.” B’Elanna takes offence, Worf is like “this is reasonable” (B’Elanna and Worf arguing Klingon linguistics based on their own relationships to tho)

– Betazoids and Vulcans independently of one another coming to the conclusion that they’ll call the other species “the talkies” (Betazoids for obvious reasons, Vulcans because humans just talk too much for no reason???)

– Dax once told Benjamin that the Trill phrase is roughly the same as “why don’t they have spots?” based on the alleged first words uttered when they encountered spotless species

– Ferengi call other species “fools.” Occasionally also “tall.”


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #headcanons #language

aqueerkettleofish:

As a side note… I am really annoyed by one thing about Star Trek.

“Replicated food is not as good as real food.”

That’s ridiculous.  In Star Trek, replicator technology is part of the same tech tree as transporters.  Replicated food would be identical to the food it was based on, down to the subatomic level.

 

ravenclaw-burning:

Proposal for a Watsonian explanation:

In a blind taste test, nobody, but nobody, can tell the actual difference between replicated food and “real” food. (Think back to our youth and the New Coke vs. Pepsi taste tests, only worse.) BUT, humans being What We Are, the human Starfleet members insist that “real” food is better than replicated food for reasons including, but certainly not limited to:

1. Hipsters have survived even into the 24th century. “No, you just can’t make good curry from a replicator! You gotta toast the spices yourself right before you cook it or it’s not the same, maaaaaan”

2. All military and para-military members everywhere always grouse and bitch about the food and sigh over What We Get Back Home. It could literally be the same replicator recipe you use at home when someone has to work late or just doesn’t feel like making the effort to cook, but people are people everywhere so they’re going to complain about it.

3. Humans tend to think we’re smarter than we actually are and we can totally tell when something is going on; as a result, human crew members insist they can “taste the difference” because their minds are making shit up, as our brains do.

4. One could presume that, generally speaking, a replicator recipe programmed into a starship or base replicator database would come out the same every time. This is perhaps the 24th century equivalent of mass catering. (I won’t try to account for the nuances of replicator tech that might allow for variances, and leave aside for the moment the fact that some people probably tinker with the standard “recipes” to suit their own taste.) The single thing that would be different in this case about “real” food is the variation, since of course the “real” dish will have slight variances every time due to the whims of the cook, the oven temperature fluctuation, freshness of ingredients, etc.. And since we are an easily bored species who really, really hates boredom, I bet people would jump all over that to lament the lack of “real” food when they’re out exploring strange new worlds and new civilizations and whatnot. (This is the only reason I can think of that might hold up to scrutiny.)

The Vulcans in Starfleet (and Data), of course, remain baffled by this human insistence that “replicator food isn’t as good as ‘real’ food”, as it defies all known forms of logic.

 

aqueerkettleofish:

Hmm.  This is a fair point.  It occurs to me that I once met a Texan who commented that the chili in a restaurant I worked at was not as good as what they made in Texas, and when I pointed out that the cook was a Texan and the chili was his personal recipe, for which he had won awards in Texas, just said “Doesn’t matter.  Wasn’t made in Texas.”

I gotta be honest, Replicator technology is one of the things I am SUPREMELY jealous of, and I’m… okay, I’m not a great cook, but I can cook and there are several dishes I do very well.  I think if I had access to the technology I would cook a lot less, though, and I would for sure use replicated ingredients.

 

math-is-magic:

1. It is not just hipsters that act like this about food. All the grandmothers I know feel this way too, and I don’t see that ever changing.

 

mermaidelephant:

The missing ingredient is love, obviously. You can’t get that from a replicator.

 

aqueerkettleofish:

Right, for that you need the holodeck.


Tags:

#Star Trek #food #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

unknought:

Star Trek but when they say “this maneuver only has 0.1% chance of success!” it actually fails, and then every episode ends with them dying and reality resets sitcom-style for the next episode.


Tags:

#Star Trek #story ideas I will never write #death tw

spock-fucks:

geordi, filming: hey what’s up everyone i’m geordi and today we’re gonna see if we can get doom to run on my friend data here

data: *half smile wave*


Tags:

#Star Trek #TNG #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #Doom

Multilingualism on DS9

apolesen:

The Universal Translator is the most boring invention in Star Trek, which is why I tend to ignore it. It’s useful for first contact, but the idea that everything someone says is translated means that we never get any depiction of linguistic diversity in Star Trek, particularly in something like DS9. Imagine the possibilities: 

  • Kira being sent on a crash-course on Federation Standard when she is made liaison officer.
  • Bashir sitting with several dictionary PADDs and a grammar, trying to figure out if the translation matrix Garak ran the Cardassian novel through has messed up or if Garak is playing a very intricate practical joke on him, because surely it can’t mean that
  • Molly cheerily code-switching between Japanese, Irish and English. Sometimes she throws in some Bajoran too – Aunt Nerys taught it to her.
  • Sisko asking for Kira’s help to get better at Bajoran. They meet over coffee and practice Bajoran.
  • Dax sometimes dreaming in languages she no longer knows, but previous hosts were well-versed in.
  • Kira and Odo always speaking Bajoran to one another and only switching to Standard when Starfleet folks are there.
  • The entire storyline of Garak, Kira and Odo with the Cardassian Resistance being in Cardassian
  • Kira learning Cardassian properly only then – before that she spoke only a Bajoran-Cardassian pidgin which developed during the Occupation.
  • Nog teaching Jake Ferengi as a way of returning the favour of Jake teaching him how to read.
  • Garak eavesdropping on everyone. No one is sure how many languages he understands. 
  • The chatter of dozens of languages on the Promenade – the gutturals of Klingon, the uvulars of Cardassian, the retroflex liquids of Bajoran.
  • Multilingual swearing!

 

conceptadecency:

Julian gets really confused because there are about fifteen different past tenses in Cardassian and according to Garak he’s using the wrong one every single time. There is only one future tense.

 

sigynpenniman:

15 different past tenses and one future feels perfectly culturally sound for Cardassian.

 

vanshira:

Jake trying to write a story in Bajoran – which he thinks should be easy, because he’s been living among Bajorans for so long he can speak it almost as easily as Federation Standard – only to be hopelessly tripped up by the fact that there are actually three forms of Bajoran (colloquial spoken/written, formal/religious spoken, and formal literary) and he really only knows colloquial Bajoran

 

apolesen:

I love it! Kira agrees to read it to help him out with some of the dialogue. She’s all for the use of colloquial Bajoran in writing – feels more real. 

 

conceptadecency:

Jake, along with a lot of Bajoran writers who grew up during the Occupation and so did not have much formal schooling, start a literary movement of writing in mostly colloquial Bajoran. It’s very controversial, with some saying the more formal written forms of Bajoran are being lost and that’s another thing the Cardassians took from us, and others saying, what, so we can’t move forward and change just because we were occupied?

 

aidaran-alha:

Has anybody written a series with this premise yet? Because I love it. As someone who writes in a language that’s not her own, and if she did, would do it in her our dialect instead of a neutral, I feel so attracted to this idea.

 

gplusbfics:

Yes, somebody write this, please?


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #language