Oh god he’s OMNIPOTENT because OF BIRDS
He could just be a honest interplanar skeleton in a suit trying to get by in the harsh multi-verse economy.
the gunslinger knows not to judge a book by its cover
Tags:
#got a point there
A rogue who has less blades than limbs is no rogue at all.
ppl on ds9 angrily blogging about problems with the plumbing, the electricity, that one corridor that’s always full of debris because it’s the first to go whenever the station is attacked. “@staff you can move the fucking space station closer to the wormhole by somehow making it lighter but my bathroom still has a cardassian toilet”
“@staff i just want to be able to use a replicator without it destroying my ability to process language is that so much to ask”
“@staff i just found a pocket of anti-gravity in the habitat ring??? bug or feature?”
“@staff-”
“I AM WORKING ON IT” types Miles O’Brien, his communicator blowing up with notification after notification. so many notifications. Miles O’Brien thought he knew what he was getting into when he joined @staff. Miles O’Brien just wants to sleep. “I LIVE HERE TOO YOU KNOW”
Sisko assigning the account to that one Vulcan intern, who writes a program that assesses the messages, current repairs status, and fakes replying.
At first everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
Six months later the program has created itself a holographic form and can be found drinking heavily with Vic.
Tags:
#Star Trek #DS9 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #oh look an update
celestial-intervention-agency:
if dragons were real I bet they’d have really stupid names just like birds, like there’d be lesser cock-eating wyverns and yellow-headed tit snatchers and spotted coastal boobies and no one would question any of this
Tags:
#dragon #bird
Okay, but imagine a medieval adventure fantasy where asexuals sell their services to parties who have to travel past sirens/incubi/succubi in order to fulfill their quests.
Imagine young witches and warlocks going through a final wizardry test where they have to square off against every magical creature they’ve ever learned about, and everyone is really confused as to how that one team just strolled past the sirens/incubi/succubi, and also as to why afterwards they high-fived, said “Aced it!” and then laughed for ten minutes straight.
Imagine a villain dousing a hero with a love potion and then unshackling her, expecting mindless devotion, only to have her then stab him and say “I’m aromantic, actually.”
Imagine an incubus carefully choosing a target and ending up on her couch with a tub of ice cream as she assures him that he is really good at his job and he can’t help it that he happened to pick an ace target.
Imagine an ace sailor who has to tie up his companions in the hold and sail the ship by himself whenever they encounter mermaids, and since it’s just him it’s really slow going, and he spends the entire time griping about allosexuals to the mermaids, who in turn gripe about how sick they are of having to target sailors before the sailors target them.
Imagine a love god trying to set up a pair of aro ace soulmates and putting them in increasingly romantic and/or risque situations, only to pull his hair out in frustration as they ignore or fix every situation and just become better and better friends.
Just like, fantasy asexuals, y’all.
Tags:
#asexuality #aromanticism #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #story ideas I will never write
I’m trying to find some recent, educational documentaries on snakes in general, and it’s like:
WORLD’S DEADLIEST SNAKES
THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS SNAKE ON THE EARTH
THE DEADLY GIANT SNAKE
THE MOST VENOMOUS SNAKE IN THE WORLD
THE VALLEY OF SNAKES AND FEAR
AFRICA’S MOST DEADLY SNAKE, THE BLACK MAMBA – WHICH WE HAVEN’T EVEN USED AS OUR COVER IMAGE – BUT THAT’S DEFINITELY A BLACK SNAKE
THIRTY-FOUR WAYS BALL PYTHONS WILL KILL YOU WITH THEIR BARE HANDS
DO YOU LIVE ON EARTH? ARE YOU AWARE OF SNAKES? WELL, THERE’S PROBABLY VENOM IN YOUR MORNING COFFEE
Tags:
#snake #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this reminds me of Dave Barry #it’s the sort of joke he would write
