thisthinginabox:

writing-prompt-s:

Why did you give the last of your food to that poorly disguised mimic? You were finally at peace with letting go, but now this odd thing won’t leave you alone and is even turning itself into various items in an attempt to aid you.

The mimic is a young one, and you knew that from the moment you laid eyes on it. It was disguised as a crate, but the angles weren’t quite right. The corners were a little lopsided, and if you looked hard enough you could make out the creature’s mouth.

A sigh escapes you as you toss over the last of your rations, not even bothering to stand up as you do so. What’s the point? You think. I’ve been trapped in this cave for days, nobody is looking for me, and the monsters are closing in. Why should I bother even trying? I could just fall asleep now, and let this little mimic eat me too.

The thing is… it doesn’t. It eats your rations, but when you lay down and try to sleep, it doesn’t attack. You do hear it move closer, but you don’t open your eyes until you feel something nudge your hand. As you barely open your eyes, you can see that the mimic has morphed itself into a crude sword. You can’t help but chuckle.

“You’re cute, but I don’t have anything left to give you.” You don’t have anything left to give for yourself either, but you don’t say so.

The mimic doesn’t seem to take no for an answer. It becomes a dagger, then an axe, then a staff, as though it’s trying to determine what your preffered weapon is.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not working. I’m not going to pick you up and take you into some other part of this stupid cave system. Nice try, though.”

You turn away from it and attempt to sleep again. As you do so, you find yourself shivering. You really wish, as you doze off, that you had a blanket.

When you wake, much later, you’re surprised to find yourself covered with the warmest blanket you’ve ever had. You quickly sit up, eagerly hoping that someone had cone for you, but the cave is empty. When you look at the blanket, you notice the imperfect edges and the janky seam across the middle.

“…why haven’t you eaten me yet?” You ask the little mimic that’s now laying on top of you. “What’s wrong with you?”

The mimic, still in the form of the blanket, slithers off of you, but it does not respond. Instead, it begins taking the form of weapons again. When it turns into a crooked staff, you reach out, despite yourself. Your fingers wrap around it and you use it to haul your aching, injured body to your feet. “I guess there are probably nicer places to die.”

You know you won’t get far. And you don’t. Especially not without light. The mimic doesn’t seem too bothered, though. When you collapse again, it scuttles off. Perhaps this was simply where it wanted you to take it. Perhaps now you can finally succumb to your exhaustion.

Then, a few minutes later, a misshapen clay cup bumps against your hand. It’s full of water, and there’s a crack in the middle like a jagged mouth. You pick up the cup and you drink, telling yourself it’s only out of desperation. When you set the cup down, that little cracked mouth seems to smile.

This goes on for what feels like days. The mimic helps you limp along through the tunnels, transforming into whatever you may need at any given time. Every time you fall asleep, you expect not to wake up. Yet, you do, usually with a mimic blanket wrapped around you. It brings you food and water when you can.

The biggest surprise comes when one morning, you find you’re pleased to have survived another night. You’re happy to have the mimic keeping you warm. It’s a new feeling, and a confusing one, but it’s not unpleasant.

The other monsters that you know are down here seem to leave you alone for the most part. You aren’t sure why. It crosses your mind that maybe it has something to do with the mimic. Then again, maybe they’re just waiting for you to die. Death is gradually beginning to sound less and less appealing.

The day you catch a glimpse of sunlight down a long and narrow tunnel is the first day you finally feel like your old self again. Your pace quickens, and you don’t need to lean on the mimic’s staff form quite so much. The illusion shatters when you reach the light’s source. A small gap, high above. You curl up on the floor and cry. When you finally have the strength to look up again, your mimic has become a ladder.

Getting up is hard, in your state. Climbing, even more so. But the ladder is the biggest and best transformation the mimic has done so far, and if it wants you to get out, then you can’t let it down.

You feel it push up under you when you reach the gap. It helps you squeeze through, and then… freedom. Fresh air, and sunlight. You lay on your back on the stone, and you pass out.

You wake up at sunset, with a blanket draoed over you. A blanket with a jagged seam down the middle.


Tags:

#D&D #storytime #adorable #death tw #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

rustingbridges:

might start tagging all my shit posts as sexual content. somebody could be into this, you can’t prove to me they’re not


Tags:

#who among us has not been there tbh #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #the wondrous variety of sapient life #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

roach-works:

homunculus-argument:

Fae that keep uranium amulets, clothes made out of asbestos and bowls of lead-infused water around their residences as a human deterrent. They don’t know why humans loathe these items, but for as long as it makes them fuck off, these charms are useful.

you wake up and a fairy is snorting the line of salt you put on your windowsill like it’s coke.

‘doesn’t that shit kill you?’ you ask, deeply perturbed.

‘not very fast,’ the fairy says, and keeps snorting.


Tags:

#fae #story ideas I will never write #poison cw #drugs cw #death tw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

hamvendor:

How come semi trucks in Europe look like “toot toot :)” and in North America they look like “HONK HOOOOOOOONK >:|”

hamvendor:

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“Henlo I am big twuck pwease give me wots of woom tank u :)”

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“I WILL FUCKING PANCAKE YOUR CUCK ASS”

spontaneousmusicalnumber:

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@trainwreckgenerator why did you hide these in the tags

digitaldiscipline:

This suggests that Maximum Overdrive was Jurassic Park for motor vehicles.

cheesedemon:

I’m sorry, but that is misleading as hell. American and European trucks are bred for different purposes.

American trucks are bred for long hauls on largely straight roads. They can go for hours without a break. A European truck needs more breaks and a lighter load, and they would indeed take great internal damage if they tried to keep up with the Longsnout.

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The European Shortsnout is not bred for looks, but for agility! They navigate the windy roads of Europe in a way that would be way too risky for the powerful, but more clumsy American truck. It is true that the European overheats faster at high speeds, that is the very reason that breaks every 4,5 hours are mandatory for both the truck and the handler and a day of driving can never be longer then 9 hours.

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So, all in all, appreciate all of our trucks and our shared history, and be the responsible owner that gets the right breed for the right job.

kedreeva:

To be fair, the US does have shortnose trucks as well, they’re just a breed kept mainly for very local work where, like the above says, they are working in places with lots of turns, shorter drives, and plenty of stops. I see them used for garbage pickup a lot, where a longnosed Mack wouldn’t be able to fit much less maneuver, and the short nose prevents them from getting rubs (raw skin or even open sores) on their snouts.

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I would also like to point out that the tags have got it backwards. The wild trucks (which I’m pretty sure are extinct in the wild now) that all modern breeds stemmed from were shortnose trucks. We had known about automobiles and domesticated several species, but the truck species was not discovered until close to the start of the 1900’s, in Germany, which I BELIEVE was the first country to breed them in captivity, although England was the first country to really start using them for work. I managed to find a photo of taxidermied specimen

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As you can see, it resembles both long and short nosed breeds, as well as the far more common house truck used by individuals instead of for commercial work.

As to the aggression, while the mack longnose LOOKS aggressive, they’re generally gentle giants (although please do give them space on the road! not seeing you in their blind spot is NOT the same as aggression!), it is actually the smaller house truck that is often trained by their handler to be aggressive: the keyword being TRAINED, they are also not naturally aggressive. The only time I have seen a mack be commonly aggressive is when they are pulling 2 gravel trailers, and I would be cranky if I was being overworked, too. If you see them hauling that kind of load, just give them space, and you’ll be fine.

ub-sessed:

I feel like somebody should add something about the Australian variants.

nudityandnerdery:

From my understanding of Australian wildlife:

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dreorzen:

Does anyone know if/how American School Busses are related to trucks?

Pics for reference:

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The classic long-nose schoolbus

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But short-nose varieties exist, I remember when they first started appearing in my district!

kedreeva:

@dreorzen While school buses ARE in the automobile order, they are actually part of the Van family, not the Truck family, due to their passenger capacity. As you can see in the photos, they have no cargo bed or hookup, and are not really built for object transport. But they DO excel at carrying passengers, particularly children (although certainly not limited to just children)

They’re known to be exceptionally protective of any passengers, and if you look closely on that second image you can actually see a specialized appendage that is (I think) unique to school buses- a small, red, octagonal fan, which they extend when there are small creatures around them that they are acquiring or releasing. Much like an angler fish’s bioluminescent bulb appendage, this fan (along with several bioluminescent patches on top of their faces and on their hindquarters) works to mesmerize any other vehicles in close proximity, to where those vehicles will cease movement until the bus lowers the fan. It’s super fascinating behavior, and little wonder why we trust our children to these gentle, protective giants.

dirtydragonthoughts:

Don’t forget about the bus trucks.

While these vehicles can sometimes be bred by accident (after all, who hasn’t accidentally left the gate open when your school bus is in season), they are usually bred for specific purposes.

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These hybrids are bred for both their cargo capacity and their gentle temperments. Especially in a farm setting, there’s a need for many different kinds of vehicles, some of which sometimes don’t get along. Having a vehicle with both the strength and capacity of a large work truck with the amiable nature of a school bus can be a real benefit.

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It’s a little unfortunate that these hybrids tend to be sterile, though, since it would be easier if they’d breed true. Also, something to keep in mind… bus trucks are bred from a bus.

Truck buses are bred from a truck and… tend to not be quite as useful as bus trucks, although some people do like keeping truck buses for companionship and as show vehicles.

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Tags:

#storytime #unreality cw #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

ghostpalmtechnique:

Kid: After we go to the thrift store, can we please stop for snacks at the snack store next door.

Me: It’s not a snack store, it’s a Chinese supermarket, but yes.

Mrs. Porcupine: Any store is a snack store if you’re hungry enough.

Me: This is why you are no longer allowed in Home Depot.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fun with loopholes #food #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

keionfire:

keionfire:

Ahahah, guys I put my jeans on this morning that have holes in and one of the holes lines up perfectly with my tattoo 😭

Loooook

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Tags:

#art #tattoos #juxtaposition #cats #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once