ive developed an eccentric character for a hypothetical youtube series called ‘ishtar ray: tactical botanist’ and i feel like i need to get it out of my system so heres the setup
-by the year 2174, plants have evolved into a violent threat against humanity and initiated a plant apocalypse. ishtar is a grad student of tactical botany sent back in time to try to prevent the apocalypse with three missions:
1. try to teach everyone he encounters about very specific plant biology with the hopes that it will give humanity an advantage when the time comes,
2. try to intercept current plant research to send back to his time period, as much of the higher research on plant biology was destroyed in the apocalypse. refers to all plant research as ‘intelligence’ regardless of the situation
3. in our time period, the evolution of plants into violent antagonists has already begun. ishtar must venture into the field attempting to find these individuals and eliminate them with his anti-plantometer before they can breed. these individuals are usually depicted as like. a plant with a knife taped to it
-ishtar carries around a camera to document his adventures, which he then edits into episodes (each one focusing on a certain plant/plant subject) and puts onto youtube
-ishtar wears only post-apocalyptic clothes. theres mud and dirt smeared on his face, and within the first episode we become aware that he literally lives in a tent pitched in a comically public area. he wears a military jacket with ‘KNOW YOUR ENEMY’ painted on the back (the tagline of the show), carries his anti-plantometer and various futuristic anti-plant weapons with him at all times, and overall is EXTREMELY out of place in literally every situation in both behavior and clothing to a ridiculous degree and is completely oblivious to it
-teaches the content in a deranged ranting way with the strong implication that the viewer will have to know this to defend themselves, also implies that botany is a military science
-is HORRIFIED at the idea of houseplants. also refuses to touch any plant with his bare hands and carries salad tongs for this purpose
-once an episode stands in a public area with a relevant picket sign frantically trying to tell people about how dangerous the plant of the episode is
-occasionally interjects weird, vague comments about plant violence from the future. ‘my uncle was killed by a moss. crawled up through his window while he was sleeping. ive never seen so much carnage’. never elaborates on exactly how the killing was done
-acts very seriously but its impossible to take him seriously
-literally never relaxes
-like bill nye but botany-based and chaotic evil
this is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. please make this.
Tags:
#story ideas I will never write #plants #apocalypse cw
Brinens and Things 