I feel unreasonably pleased with the fact that my preferences are so strange that, even when someone purposefully trolled my dating quiz aiming for the lowest possible score, they STILL scored 20 points due to me being a weirdo :p
Specifically, for the question of what they might do if I seemed upset, they selected “initiate sex” (despite previously claiming to be ace). For most people, that would probably be a pretty crass response. However, I find it to be quite positive and VERY distracting, so it pretty consistently makes me stop feeling bad.
Unsurprisingly, no one has non-trollingly selected this answer, because they don’t want to look like an asshole. (Even though, in my peculiar case, “doing romantic things at me” and “fucking me” are the best possible options.)
I chose romantic stuff, but initiate sex would’ve been my second choice provided my partner wasn’t like… pissed at ME and just at the world. #badcopingmechanisms
Wait is this uncommon? Romantic and sexual things are *often* My preference as a response to me being upset. Not always, but often. Is that like… not a normal thing?
I’m not sure. However, I do get the impression that most people would see initiating sex with an upset person as taking advantage of them. This is not at all how it would work for me, but I can understand people who expect this and shy away from it because of that. I think “doing romantic things at [partner]” is less likely to be seen this way, which is why far more people were OK with that.
It would at least be interesting to find out what fraction of people have a positive opinion vs a negative opinion of their partner initiating sex when they’re upset.
As someone who originally thought picking “initiate sex” on that survey would be a bad idea:
My line of reasoning was “Upset people don’t want to have sex, so trying will just piss them off (further), and possibly cause them to take out their upsetness on you. Maybe not so much that last part with Alison specifically, but there’s still the pissing-off problem, so still not a good idea.”
(I did pick romantic stuff, though, because that seemed like upset people would be more amenable to it.)
So it seems like the problem is “more variation than expected in what upset people are amenable to”.
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#reply via reblog #nsfw? #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see
Brinens and Things 