#034 Thyme Cops

hypotheticalpoliceprocedurals:

PREMISE: It was the best of thyme, it was the worst of thyme… good thing these two cops can tell the difference. Thyme Cops follows the adventures of two police officers who are experts at identifying whether or not a particular herb is, in fact, thyme. The series was cancelled after just one season, as many viewers were disappointed that it was not about time travel. Viewers’ confusion was compounded by the fact that the show was advertised exclusively on the radio, and was almost never mentioned in print.

CHARACTERS: Kendra Zucco is a veteran detective and a thyme traveller–a thyme traveller being someone who travels in social circles with other people who really like thyme. Her partner is Vic Quail, a rookie cop who was has become lost in thyme–which is to say he spends every waking hour thinking about thyme because he likes it so much. Viewers rightly complained that the show’s creators seemed to be going out of their way to mislead people into thinking that the show was about time travel.

NOTABLE EPISODE:  In the pilot, Zucco and Quail have to use Zucco’s new invention, a thyme machine, to travel back in thyme to prevent a thyme paradox from causing a tear to appear in the very fabric of thyme. “Travelling back in thyme” refers to walking backwards through a field in which thyme is being grown; a “thyme paradox” is what Zucco and Quail call it when you get confused and your head starts to hurt because you can’t even understand why you like thyme so much; the “tear in the fabric of thyme” was a reference to the crimes of a rogue thyme enthusiast who was sneaking onto thyme farms to rip up all the plants; and Zucco’s “thyme machine” turned out to be a DeLorean whose trunk was filled to the brim with dried thyme. Viewers who had closed captioning turned on realized what the show was actually about immediately, but it took most people until the end of the episode to catch on, as the word “thyme” was only spoken, not shown, until the graphic with the show’s name appeared in the end credits.  (S01.E01 – “The Land Before Thyme”)

CATCHPHRASE: “It’s go thyme.”/“Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the… thyme.”

TRIVIA/MISCELLANY:  The show received excellent reviews, even from those who stopped watching. In the words of one disgruntled viewer, “It was actually really good, I just felt tricked.”

See also: #012 Time Cops


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #puns #oh my god #I’m in the middle of reading the Hypothetical Police Procedurals archive #quality stuff #read it in chronological order for full effect #(this is the *third* show that tricked people into thinking it was about time travel) #(but the others didn’t do it as beautifully as this) #(wait sorry this is actually the second of the three chronologically) #(I only read it third because I didn’t start off in chronological order) #(but anyway this is great)

ozymandias271:

wedding cakes suggested by tumblr user shlevy:

  • a giant cock to symbolize all the cock I won’t suck
  • a symbolic depiction of the Battle of Hallquist and Alexander
  • “descendants. literally nothing but descendants”

Tags:

#nsfw? #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #you’ve probably seen this before #either that or you don’t have enough context to understand most of it #but if nothing else there’s still future selves to entertain #hi future selves! *waves*

ravishingtheroyals:

Britain’s 10 Longest Reigning Monarchs as of September 9th, 2015


Tags:

#our home and cherished land #God save the Queen #*salute* #we were singing ‘God Save the Queen’ this morning in honour of it #(well I say singing) #(I can sing reasonably well when I’m alone and focusing on it but I was busy and with my family so) #(…also we’re in America during the Queen’s landmark date) #(oops) #(it doesn’t quite seem right but it’s how things worked out)

tkingfisher:

crystalsoulslayer:

inrealityadream:

Who the fuck names horses

No horse in these races can have the same name as any other horse that has ever entered in the history of horseracing. They had appropriate ones at first. Then, slowly, like profiles on the Gaia forums, all the good user IDs URLs horse names got taken. Currently, they’re being named by rich old white guys. If our generation ever starts participating in this, I anticipate solemn-faced announcers on ESPN498 speculating on the Vegas odds for x_FURY-666-WRATH_x.

I look forward to TheRealDrizztDo’Urden69 taking the Triple Crown.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog


{{next post in sequence}}

Anonymous asked: How do I make comparativelysuperlative fall in love with me?

comparativelysuperlative:

shitifindon:

comparativelysuperlative:

argumate:

Well by posting this I am at least raising the possibility.

comparativelysuperlative

Speckled false-daisy, flexible ethics, and access to something I’m going to drink.

And what’s your position on love potions?

I’ve heard it’s quite enjoyable. Roughly analogous to recreational use of the Imperius Curse.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #I don’t know #I’ve heard about what it’s like being in love and I’ve heard about what it’s like being Imperiused #and one of those sounds a lot more fun than the other #I think a large percentage of you know which #sexuality and lack thereof #(romance and sex are intertwined often enough that that tag taken in isolation isn’t really much of a spoiler is it) #(but that tag was) #limerence sounds unpleasantly overwhelming to me really #(I was originally going to phrase the ‘I’ve heard’ tag ‘I’ve heard *stories*’) #(but then I remembered I’ve only actually heard *one* story about what being Imperiused is like) #(the canonical one) #(I’ve never seen any porn involving the Imperius Curse) #((nor any such fics not intended to be sexual)) #(I’ve met a fetishist with strong ties to the Harry Potter fandom and *she* had never seen any porn involving the Imperius Curse) #(as far as I know it is an unfilled niche) #tag rambles