May 17, 2024May 30, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer’s apprentice going for you OP?

cipheramnesia:

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

dee-the-red-witch:

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

amnesia:

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

geekandmisandry:

Is….is…is Yvgeny….alive?

cipheramnesia:

Eh. Is alive enough.

the-real-seebs:

i somehow had heard “no other necromancer does this for you” without picking up the whole context, so i went searching. i am not disappointed.

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #storytime #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 13, 2024May 25, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

genderfluid-druid:

genderfluid-druid:

hurr hurr I’m a human body hurr hurr I’m gonna solve all my problems using mucus

“i require more fluids” well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #(saddened but unsurprised to look at the OP and learn that it was inspired by a COVID-19 infection) #(certainly I thought about this post when I had COVID) #((even if my mucus levels were relatively mild)) #covid19 #illness tw #unsanitary cw #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 13, 2024May 25, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

leidensygdom:

i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot

So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They’ve never used another charger for said phone.

Now, they’ve tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn’t matter how much they’ve searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.

The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: “The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they’ve mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place.”

And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there’s a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they’ve destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They’ve hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.

This too is toxic yuri to me-

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 10, 2024May 24, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

imaginarycircus:

thelonelybrilliance:

When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

Gather round, kids. Let me tell you a story from ye olden days because I am tumblr elderly. I used to DJ for a radio station. I played records and CDs and we had station IDs from bands on 8 track cartes. People would call me asking what songs were–but they had to mumble, sing, or play the song on an instrument. I had someone call me to ask what Smells Like Teen Spirit was when it was a single. They played it on an accordion. I forgot about it until a moment ago when I saw this post.

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #(as for OP‚ the zillion people in the notes recommending Shazam are absolutely correct) #(it doesn’t even need to be your phone: any recording device will do) #(you can just play the recording for Shazam later) #music #proud citizen of The Future #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 8, 2024May 24, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

nothingweirdhere:

kaijuno:

when they get shaved the new fur grows in darker than it would normally be cuz they’re colder in that area!

Tags:

#it got better #cats #the power of science #the more you know #adorable #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 8, 2024May 24, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

tahthetrickster:

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

mufasamonsta:

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

3fluffies:

Dying.

ciatri:

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

randomslasher:

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

gayelectro:

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

itsyapeepkiri:

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @hellsite-hall-of-girlfriend

2 million

2 million f☆☆king notes.

How

Tags:

#cats #that one post with the thing #Tumblr traditions #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

May 6, 2024May 21, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

rudywiser:

elodieunderglass:

teddy-stonehill:

teddy-stonehill:

I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.

I can confirm that most birds have a detectable amount of wiring behind the eyes – blinking lights and buttons and sliders and frizzy things that spark and chirp and beep. They also have a lot of soul that can communicate with ours because the programming is fairly compatible. Vultures are clever and curious, swans are clear and lawful, chickens have a lot of personality, caged parrots are dissociated and disinherited and frankly worrying, falconry-trained birds of prey are tremendously businesslike.

And owls are absolutely lovely beasts with their own irreplaceable validity. but they are basically stuffed with polyester fiberfill. They have one button, like a child’s toy dinosaur that opens and closes its mouth when you press the back of its head. And it isn’t even a sophisticated electronic button it’s just a lever that rocks back and forth to make the claws open and close. I think they may have actually evolved independently from sponges. Their skulls simply exist to create holes that funnel sound and light, and as a place to hang a giant hinged beak. An owl is just an empty tube like a windchime that the wind whistles through, and you can drop meat down it. They use the meat to generate feathers, and then emit the bones in pressed little packages like those machines that flatten a penny and stamp it with the logo of a theme park. I think that’s the gist of it – most birds are electronics of varying levels of sophistication, but owls are just a system of levers and pulleys. No elevator music in those skulls, just the wind echoing through empty caverns of slightly irritating design. Absolutely fantastic.

Are owls smart? Lord no.

Are owls efficient? So much so, that they don’t need to be smart.

Tags:

#birds #owls #that one post with the thing #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

Humans are adorable.

May 1, 2024May 17, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

teaboot:

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #”so far‚ they’ve made it to the end of their yard‚ and have found rocks” has lived in my head for years #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what

March 22, 2024April 1, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

stuffman:

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

sqbr:

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

elvencantation:

additions from the og artist (credit)

scientia-rex:

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

I know it’s not July yet, but guys, happy 10 years of “two cakes”. This post on god has been a godsend not only as a writer myself but as a friend of artists and writers who I love to encourage. This was legitimately a game-changer.

OP thank you so much for this.

leebrontide:

Happy Two Cakes day!

Tags:

#the fuck you mean I’ve never reblogged two-cakes #that one post with the thing #art #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

February 3, 2024February 12, 2024 ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

stitchthisfiona:

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

jack-of-no-cows:

ghirahimbo:

Tags:

#that one post with the thing #music #juxtaposition #long post #death tw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

Brinens and Things

that one post with the thing

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

2 million f☆☆king notes.

How

Humans are adorable.