This headline is kinda dumb but the subhead is fantastic.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Harry Potter #Shakespeare #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”
Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don’t have the sheath thing
this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again
Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.
AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.
MALUS Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?
AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.
MALUS ‘Tis not when held, comparing, to anthos.
AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou’st eaten?
MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart I’ve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.
AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.
MALUS Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types I’ve eaten too. I’ll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.
AERUH And it has spice?
MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i’faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say “has spice” or merely “herbal strength”.
AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pine’s required.
MALUS Aye, it would seem that that’s the task at hand, but caution tells that this is what’s to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.
AERUH I’ll eat them all.
MALUS I prithee, stay thyself.
AERUH Roulette with leaves.
MALUS At least restrain from yew.
AERUH I’ll do my best.
MALUS That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.
AERUH With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.
MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my life’s own path.
Exeunt.
Enter MACDUFF.
MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king there’s dead. Like dead as FUCK.
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#food #poison cw #Shakespeare #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #juxtaposition #death tw?
The Scottish Play, but it’s set in a fast food restaurant and everyone’s killing each other over who gets to be the manager and its played completely straight
Holy shit. I remember that one. The witches are portrayed by 3 garbagemen and instead of saying “when Birnham Wood to Dunsinane comes”, they say he’ll be defeated “when pigs fly”. This is fulfilled when a police helicopter lands on the roof.
My favourite thing about this post is folks in the notes going “no, that’s wrong, it was Richard Armitage as Macduff, not Christopher Walken”, then slowly coming to the horrified realisation that there’s actually more than one early 2000s Shakespeare adaptation with this basic premise.
(The one with Walken is 2001′s Scotland, PA, while the one with Armitage is episode two of 2005′s ShakespeaRe-Told, for the curious.)
#so apparently handwashing memes are a thing now #which feels… #it feels like a piece of set dressing you’d see in a work of apocalyptic fiction #a little poignant note about coping mechanisms #did you ever see that post about memes people would make during the apocalypse? #there was a meme from a world where an asteroid was about to hit #took an artist’s conception of an asteroid hitting Earth #added a then-perish image on the asteroid and a guess-I’ll-die image on the Earth #this feels disturbingly like that #tag rambles #death tw #apocalypse cw #illness tw #covid19 #Shakespeare
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #the humour of my people #Shakespeare #recs #according to AO3 there are three of them at the moment #so far I’ve read the first one and it’s hilarious #(my favourite part was ”I literally just returned”) #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #death tw
i dont think anyone is more serious about urban legends than theatre kids i mean once a kid had to go home from rehearsal bc he said the name of the scottish play onstage and someone punched him in the face
of course i didnt what kind of fool do you take me for
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(‘of course i didnt what kind of fool do you take me for’)
no you don’t understand shakespeare literally writes to the beat of your heart
that’s why shakespearean actors will sometimes pound their chests in time to the words during readings
that’s why you use fluctuations in the rhythm to track your character’s emotional state – any irregularities in the scansion are like the character’s heart stuttering or jumping or skipping a beat
that’s why when characters share the rhythm – switching off in the middle of a foot – those characters inevitably have an extraordinarily intimate connection
shakespeare fucking writes viscerally, he is literally in your body, and that, my friend, that is why the best shakespearean actors don’t posture and emote
you have to be fucking alive and passionate and electric – it can’t be intellectual, in the end, it has to be about connection and the sweating, cheering, jeering, bleeding masses you’re performing to, because make no mistake, shakespeare may go to lofty heights, but he only works if you’re just as grounded in the earth. he has to be in your body. he has to be in your body.
holy motherfucking shit i love shakespeare so much, get him in your bones, breathe him in, stomp and rage and pine, dadum dadum dadum dadum dadum, it is literally to the beat of your heart
Whenever I teach verse or direct a Shakespeare play, this is the FIRST thing I say. People need to be reminded that Shakespeare is human. It’s maybe the most human text you’ll ever encounter. It’s easy to forget that, especially because so many of his words are so iconic. But those words are as alive as you. Hell, they even breathe the same way.
Am I the only one who finds this creepy?
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#you are sure as hell not in *my* body Shakespeare #my heart does not beat to another’s tune
#at first I didn’t realise how awesome this was going to be #and then there was that moment a few seconds in #when I figured out what was going to happen #Sesame Street #Patrick Stewart #awesome #my childhood #(I don’t know if I ever saw this particular bit during my childhood but close enough)
Brinens and Things 