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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

nonternary:

sinesalvatorem:

@ilzolende​ mentioned that people asked to pet their hair at the Solstice. I said there was a good chance that more people would have asked to touch mine, because of the uniqueness. They said that there was actually a good chance that fewer people would ask because of the cause of the uniqueness.

So, fwiw, I like having my hair touched, once I have warning that it’s about to happen and don’t reflexively duck and block anyone trying to touch me. So, if I meet you irl and you want to touch my hair, go ahead and ask. I won’t call you racist.

…Actually, now that I think about it, there is a reasonable chance I will call you racist for something. It’s a habit from back home. I’m from a majority-black country where no one really takes the idea of racism seriously. As such, jokes about people being racist for innocuous things are the norm.

I have called people racist for saying “all X look the same” when they were talking about oranges or action movies. I have asked “Is it because I’m black?” when people have asked if I’d prefer Coke to Pepsi. The thing is, these were all jokes aimed at other black people, in a mostly-black culture, where no one took the idea of racism seriously. The most common reaction to “Is it because I’m black?” was always “Yes”. The reaction to “all X look the same” comments was “Yes, they do, and black people too”.

I may have to change this habit if I’m going to stay in North America. In my first week here, I called a Canadian racist for saying that all apples look the same. This… Did not go as expected. At all. It ended with us apologising profusely to each other and feeling mutually guilty.

On the bright side, if I can apologise at someone while they’re apologising at me and end up in a spiral of “I’m sorry!” “No, I’m sorry!”, there may yet be hope for me becoming a True Canadian.

So, for future reference: If I actually think you did something that was racist and bad, expect me to say “What you did was harmful because…”. If I say “That was racist”, you may assume with 90% confidence that I’m joking. I just wasn’t raised to take anything that begins with “That’s racist” seriously.

“In my first week here, I called a Canadian racist for saying that all apples look the same. This… Did not go as expected. At all. It ended with us apologising profusely to each other and feeling mutually guilty.” Alison/Canada OTP

Canada<–Alison–>Sunlight love triangle

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#reply via reblog

Dear Science Side Of Tumblr:

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

sinesalvatorem:

How do you send hugs in the mail? @rosetintedkaleidoscope just donated blood (hooray!) and the correct response is celebratory hugs. However, there may be a few kilometers in the way (no, idk how they got there), so I will need to make use of the postage system. How do I package my hug? Are there any laws related to the international transmission of hugs? What are the weight limits on the amount of hug?

Personally, I recommend circumventing these issues via the use of puns: there is a kind of chocolate called “Hugs”. I wasn’t sure at first if they were available in Canada, but I found a listing for them on the Walmart Canada website, which suggests that you’d probably be able to get ahold of some.

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

sinesalvatorem:

@lethriloth: (Expected delivery tomorrow, which may be Too Late to help with the paper, but will be in time to help with almost everything else?)

Me: That’s good-ish.

Me: *crosses fingers*

Me: *realises she’s Jewish*

Lethriloth: … Oh of course that’s a Christian thing

Me: *starts writing a long essay, with numerous citations, arguing for why G-d should make this work out*

I’ve tried making a Star of David with my hands. It’s…never gone very well.

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#Judaism #reply via reblog

KUEC Transcripts – Episode 1

Link ~ ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

{{Title link: http://kevinandursulatranscripts.dreamwidth.org/600.html}}

justice-turtle:

LOOK WHAT I DID I DID A THING :D

It’s on Dreamwidth because I don’t trust Tumblr to handle a two-hour episode transcript when I get there, and also I understand Dreamwidth more. I’m going to try to link each episode here as I finish it, though.

Anybody wants to volunteer to help transcribe episodes, just let me know and I’ll give you posting access on Dreamwidth. I’mma be playing catch-up for a while here by my lonesome… XD

Yay! It exists!

I’m going to be kind of busy the next few days, but maybe afterward I can find time to pitch in.

Tags:

#Kevin and Ursula Eat Cheap #transcripts

brin-bellway asked: Re: “this [Hannibal post] needs a cw but I’m not sure what”, I suspect the Hannibal tag acts as a pretty good content warning in itself. Tumblrites pretty well know what to expect with Hannibal, and have had quite a while to blacklist accordingly.

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

sinesalvatorem:

Is this true, Tumblrites?

…damn, I forgot to throw in some wiggle room about “generally” and “most” and “in my experience” and all that.

*watches as this inevitably finds the one fragment of Tumblr that doesn’t have a sufficiently clear idea of what to expect with Hannibal*

(Wiggle room/acknowledgement-that-other-people-are-not-like-me-and-may-have-different-experiences is the first thing to go when I’m having even the slightest bit of trouble with language. Usually I can manage it in writing, but in speech I frequently neglect it and it makes me look like I have less theory of mind than I do. I’ve lost count of how many times Mom has admonished me to bear in mind that not everyone is like me, usually during occasions when I had thought of that but the thought got lost on the way to my mouth.)

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#reply via reblog #that excuse for communication called speech

SCC Prompt Set #166

~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

{{previous post in sequence}}

diaryofasnowflake:

What are some advantages of BDSM and D/s fiction?

You can get dark.  In real life BDSM, we play with the idea of non-consensual relationships, or completely one-sided ones, but we all know that at the end of the day, you’re talking about two people consensually exchanging power and caring for one another.  That’s the way it should be, but when you’re just reading to get off, you can make it really twisted without the same moral problems.

Also, I’m a mind control fetishist, so fiction allows for some fantasy scenarios that simply could not happen in real life.  

What are the risks?

Getting confused as heck.  When I was 14 and found hypnokinky erotica for the first time, I assumed that the fact that I was turned on by these fantasies meant that I wanted them in real life, even though I knew them to be abhorrent.  Plus, these websites often had disclaimers, saying that these were fantasies only and that acting on them meant you were sick.  I didn’t know that they were referring really to the non-consensual aspects, and that there was a way to satisfy these urges without running off a moral cliff.

So when fiction becomes predominant, and there aren’t counter-messages of what consensual BDSM looks like, it can be a real humdinger to work through it all.

These days, I actually bristle at so-called consensual BDSM porn.  First of all, it doesn’t do much for me; I get all that in real life.  Second of all, it comes off as moralizing, and that’s incongruous with writing that’s supposed to get people off.  Third of all, then you get the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.  The reason I hate that series is twofold: 1) It presents a creepy, messed-up relationship as consensual BDSM, making all its mistakes and insinuations about what it means to be kinky all the more messed up.  2) It has become a cultural reference point to refer to kink, and that shit IS NOT ME.

TL;DR: Kinky fiction is fun, but you have to learn the skills to separate reality from fantasy from BDSM play through other means, and misinformation or confusion can spread in the meantime.

 

brin-bellway:

I wonder how much of it coming off as moralizing is because of you not being into it? I’m having trouble thinking of moralizing examples, but then my reaction when I first discovered consensual hypno-kink erotica was “oh my god, where have you been all my life”. It’s very possible that the only reason I’m not rolling my eyes at stories trying to get all their ethical ducks in a row is because I happen to genuinely prefer ethical situations in my porn, right down to my id, and so I feel kindly disposed towards it.

(Or possibly I just haven’t read any of the really moralizing ones, especially since I still don’t have a better means of obtaining porn that at least sort of fits my tastes than “wander through seas of non-con and occasionally hit one by blind luck” (or the indirect word-of-mouth version, “wander through seas of recs for non-con and occasionally hit a rec by blind luck”).)

 

tennfan2:

Reblogging for finding other people who like consensual (even romantic) hypnokink erotica. We do exist!

(Also, the moralizing stuff does exist and it’s just exhausting.)

 

darthkyra:

We do exist indeed!

 

dancercoder:

yes yes yes

too much dubcon turns me off

and there are ways to slip in consent that aren’t awkward

 

serena627:

@spiralturquoise

I..seem to have accidentally hijacked your post, diaryofasnowflake. Sorry about that.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to hear from the rest of you guys, and maybe we can get together and talk recs sometime, but I’m not sure if this thread is the right place to do it.)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof

{{next post in sequence}}

SCC Prompt Set #166

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

diaryofasnowflake:

What are some advantages of BDSM and D/s fiction?

You can get dark.  In real life BDSM, we play with the idea of non-consensual relationships, or completely one-sided ones, but we all know that at the end of the day, you’re talking about two people consensually exchanging power and caring for one another.  That’s the way it should be, but when you’re just reading to get off, you can make it really twisted without the same moral problems.

Also, I’m a mind control fetishist, so fiction allows for some fantasy scenarios that simply could not happen in real life.  

What are the risks?

Getting confused as heck.  When I was 14 and found hypnokinky erotica for the first time, I assumed that the fact that I was turned on by these fantasies meant that I wanted them in real life, even though I knew them to be abhorrent.  Plus, these websites often had disclaimers, saying that these were fantasies only and that acting on them meant you were sick.  I didn’t know that they were referring really to the non-consensual aspects, and that there was a way to satisfy these urges without running off a moral cliff.

So when fiction becomes predominant, and there aren’t counter-messages of what consensual BDSM looks like, it can be a real humdinger to work through it all.

These days, I actually bristle at so-called consensual BDSM porn.  First of all, it doesn’t do much for me; I get all that in real life.  Second of all, it comes off as moralizing, and that’s incongruous with writing that’s supposed to get people off.  Third of all, then you get the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.  The reason I hate that series is twofold: 1) It presents a creepy, messed-up relationship as consensual BDSM, making all its mistakes and insinuations about what it means to be kinky all the more messed up.  2) It has become a cultural reference point to refer to kink, and that shit IS NOT ME.

TL;DR: Kinky fiction is fun, but you have to learn the skills to separate reality from fantasy from BDSM play through other means, and misinformation or confusion can spread in the meantime.

I wonder how much of it coming off as moralizing is because of you not being into it? I’m having trouble thinking of moralizing examples, but then my reaction when I first discovered consensual hypno-kink erotica was “oh my god, where have you been all my life”. It’s very possible that the only reason I’m not rolling my eyes at stories trying to get all their ethical ducks in a row is because I happen to genuinely prefer ethical situations in my porn, right down to my id, and so I feel kindly disposed towards it.

(Or possibly I just haven’t read any of the really moralizing ones, especially since I still don’t have a better means of obtaining porn that at least sort of fits my tastes than “wander through seas of non-con and occasionally hit one by blind luck” (or the indirect word-of-mouth version, “wander through seas of recs for non-con and occasionally hit a rec by blind luck”).)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw? #adventures in ‘close but not quite’

{{next post in sequence}}

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{previous post in sequence}}

justice-turtle:

brin-bellway:

justice-turtle:

So the Rockbreaker’s Ceremony pre-festival push and raffle is starting up this Sunday, aaand I may have just volunteered as a dragon acceptor.

Eh, I was planning to spend the week in coli anyway. I’ll just be getting my fodder through CRs instead of from the AH. :D I’ll have to practice taking care of myself and being willing to knock off work at reasonable hours even if nobody else is online to take over, though… that should be interesting. ;P

(So, y’know, if you were planning to participate in the Rockbreaker’s raffle, consider throwing dragons at me starting Sunday… ^_^)

I was actually leaning towards not participating in the dom raffle (well, the dragon part; if they have daily trivia I’ll do that), because I defected during the last Lightning profit push and felt bad about it even though I had official permission (they said that since it was “about profit, not placement”, it was okay to exploit Nature’s ridiculous payouts instead of exalting ourselves). We got second place that week because of the efforts of people who ignored or didn’t hear that permission, and I felt like I was parasitising them. Lightning is going for bolstering next week, and I intend to Do My Part.

Perhaps I’ll send you one dragon for luck. I’ve heard OOF raffle accepting can get a bit overwhelming, so yes, please do take care of yourself.

*nodnod* I definitely get that. (One reason I switched to Earth, actually; in bigger flights I feel like such deadweight if I’m not exalting practically 24/7 any week we push.) Have fun, and I hope you do get bolstering! Are y’all pushing against anyone for second, do you know yet?

I haven’t heard anything about others. We’ll see.

Tags:

#Flight Rising #reply via reblog

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

justice-turtle:

So the Rockbreaker’s Ceremony pre-festival push and raffle is starting up this Sunday, aaand I may have just volunteered as a dragon acceptor.

Eh, I was planning to spend the week in coli anyway. I’ll just be getting my fodder through CRs instead of from the AH. :D I’ll have to practice taking care of myself and being willing to knock off work at reasonable hours even if nobody else is online to take over, though… that should be interesting. ;P

(So, y’know, if you were planning to participate in the Rockbreaker’s raffle, consider throwing dragons at me starting Sunday… ^_^)

I was actually leaning towards not participating in the dom raffle (well, the dragon part; if they have daily trivia I’ll do that), because I defected during the last Lightning profit push and felt bad about it even though I had official permission (they said that since it was “about profit, not placement”, it was okay to exploit Nature’s ridiculous payouts instead of exalting ourselves). We got second place that week because of the efforts of people who ignored or didn’t hear that permission, and I felt like I was parasitising them. Lightning is going for bolstering next week, and I intend to Do My Part.

Perhaps I’ll send you one dragon for luck. I’ve heard OOF raffle accepting can get a bit overwhelming, so yes, please do take care of yourself.

Tags:

#Flight Rising #reply via reblog

{{next post in sequence}}