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Hi this thread is making me insane.


(my tags on my previous reblog of this:)

#(some other quotes from that Twitter thread to contextualise it:) #(“If it’s not real I’m not even mad‚ #killing a melon with a sword and writing a code to tell a fun story is an incredible way to spend lockdown”) #(“For context btw I have already sent this guy my nudes like‚ months ago. I’ve said we can meet up. #None of this is a ploy to get in my pants and holy shit if it was it’d be the wildest possible way of doing so”) #(“People are rediscovering this and keep retweeting it so I feel like doing another update‚ #the guy who was receiving/executing the melons is now my boyfriend. #We’ve been together about 6 months now and our conversations are still this weird about 50% of the time.”) #(though really you should read the whole thread) #(including watching the videos with sound on) #(half the thread is age-restricted for some reason‚ but if you have objections to Twitter) #((and who doesn’t)) #(you can–I just accidentally discovered–get around that by reading it through Nitter) #(that’s https://nitter.hu/TrinCyboid/status/1356496649460322304 or the Nitter instance of your choice) #(also these people are apparently doing a podcast where they watch seasons of 24 in real time and I may have to check it out)

Update: I have now listened to the first season of “24 Bauer Party People”, and it is *very* funny.


#oh look an update #podcasts #recs #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(sort of) #food? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what

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if you liked @earlyandoftenpodcast (which is itself excellent as an amalgamation of a century of history, told with an imperceptible amount of fnords), I recommend Presidencies of the United States

it’s a bit slow (it’s taken him six years to cover twenty years of history) but i like it that way


Presidencies of the United States does have transcripts, if you’re so inclined. You can find them at the bottom of the page for each episode, such as the most recent one.

#i couldn’t find it for a while but i remembered hearing the guy insist that he had transcripts #also early and often *was* great and i highly recommend it as a sort of background to Presidencies #the New York episodes in particular helped to set the stage for understanding NY at the time of the Clinton faction #even if NY politics truly is the devil’s own incomprehensibles

Ooh, thank you!

*adds to reading list*


#reply via reblog #oh look an update #podcasts #recs #history #home of the brave #that excuse for communication called speech


if you liked @earlyandoftenpodcast (which is itself excellent as an amalgamation of a century of history, told with an imperceptible amount of fnords), I recommend Presidencies of the United States

it’s a bit slow (it’s taken him six years to cover twenty years of history) but i like it that way


#hmm #I consume very little audio (and am thus already saturated) and this doesn’t seem to have transcripts #but Early and Often *was* great #I suspect that in practice I will never get around to listening to this‚ but hey‚ maybe they’ll come out with transcripts someday #anyway‚ all of you should go read the Early and Often transcripts #(or I guess listen to them if you’re into that sort of thing: I never did) #podcasts #recs #history #home of the brave

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just learned you can take a slice of bread straight out the freezer and put it in the toaster


@shinyangelwombatknight said:

What are the pros?

bread wont get moldy


#101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #I share my bread freezer with three other people‚ so I can’t store three months’ worth #but I can do‚ like‚ five weeks #domesticity #food #recs #you can also keep Exactly Two slices in a bag outside the freezer so you can make non-toasted sandwiches #or at least I can #the last person I told that to was impressed by how much executive function that implied I had #(I hadn’t even *told* them about the part where the bread freezer is essentially on a covered porch and) #(I need to put on a pollen mask to access it about half the year)

birdblogwhichisforbirds asked: How would you suggest replacing apps that require gps to work? Before smartphones I never went anywhere by myself unless I’d been shown the route multiple times by someone else. (This is due to Brain Problems, which I can explain more if necessary.) “learn to read paper map” is not workable advice for me. Should I get a gps that’s compatible w walking (do those exist)? Or do I just have to accept being spied on if I ever want to go anywhere alone (still better than being dependent real ppl imo)


No need to explain more, brain problems is brain problems and sometimes you need a particular tool to get around them. It’s not your fault for needing the tool and that’s part of why I’m so angry that protecting your privacy falls so heavily on the users instead of the manufacturers (my beef with smart homes: let me show you it – smart home devices are incredible for lots of disability reasons but not a one of them is really secure, so if you require smart home devices to improve your quality of life or make you more independent you’re forced to allow these invasions to your privacy)

So some GPSs do have good routing stuff that works with walking – Garmin comes to mind, and I know there’s stuff that’s a bit more “users shared this” than “google is watching you” out there among sporting/adventure/outdoor users.

But what you’re describing is a legitimate problem with mapping software that has to check back in with cell service or internet service instead of using simple GPS – it’s something that has really irritated me about using google maps over the years: I should be able to load a map then turn off my cell service and have it run along on GPS only (see many trips I’ve taken that have cell service for 98% of the drive then I have to rely on guessing for the last 2% because the gps isn’t updating because I’m out of cell tower range).

I think your best bet if you keep using your phone is probably to do something like disable location on most of your apps and then only enable your mapping app when you’re using it (and make sure that ad locations is off and don’t use the highly specific locations). Strangle the permissions as much as you can.

HOWEVER this ask got me to do some research and it looks like OsmAnd might be a good solution – it has offline maps for drivers and for pedestrians and the description of it includes some of my favorite tech-related words: “robust open-source” – the maps are totally open source though the app is not so keep an eye on those permissions too but at the very least any info collected doesn’t go straight to google.

(navigating offline maps is good though, this is super good, I’m going to install and test this app because I WANT THIS.)


#yes this #OSMAnd is so good #the interface is kind of a Lot sometimes but you can pretty much just ignore bits you don’t want to deal with #and I love having offline maps that *don’t fucking expire WTF Google* #and! if you run into a problem with the map data‚ you can just *go on OpenStreetMap and fix it* and it’ll be in the monthly map updates #I’ve also heard some praise for Organic Maps‚ though I haven’t tried it myself #I used MapFactor’s OSM-based version for a while and it was fine #so if you’re not particularly seeking open-source apps and don’t like the other two maybe try that #recs #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #maps


I have cleverly arranged my schedule so that I can participate in both canadian and american thanksgiving. I have no idea what canadians do for canadian thanksgiving but I ate a lot. wikipedia claims:

While the actual Thanksgiving holiday is on a Monday, Canadians may gather for their Thanksgiving feast on any day during the long weekend; however, Sunday is considered the most common.

which is, frankly, a lot more sane than having specifically thursday off for dinner. no I am not suggesting any amendment to the american practice

#frankly I like eating so I might adopt canadian thanksgiving to me extended schedule of holidays #dont currently have anything between labor day and thanksgiving unless we count 9/11 but that’s still a month ago #fills a good hole

The Objectively Correct solution to Columbus Day discourse.


#where ”objectively correct” means‚ of course‚ what I personally do #seriously though‚ everyone‚ come join us #put maple syrup in your pumpkin pie #Thanksgiving #food #Columbus Day #discourse cw? #recs #reply via reblog

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Two-Faced Jewel: Session 26

Boated Off the Island


A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at.

[Campaign log]

Last time, the party confronted the manager of Cabana Jim’s Luxury Resort and Spa, Miriko Watchwood. Her attempt to reestablish vampiric dominance over the resort in the wake of Cabana Jim’s death was ill-advised and doomed, and they successfully foiled it with a combination of cool-headed diplomacy and brutal emotional manipulation. And now… they want to recruit her???

Keep reading


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #high context jokes #(don’t get me wrong the rest of the emotional rollercoaster is good too) #recs


re: this post

(it’s about a kink caption which is picture of a dude in his underwear talking about ‘slutweed’, which is, ofc, weed that makes you slutty)

two replies:

i found this blog back when this screenshot was circulating just to see what kind of unhinged shit they were posting and it was all in this genre of making men brain dead and desperate to fuck. some of it was written from the pov of the guy losing his capacity for intelligent thought and read more like a horror novel than porn. i am an archaeology student btw

that’s why bottom povs aren’t very common. It’s not a fun time for us usually



(screenshot from readonlymind.com’s tag page. i have no idea how representative that is of like, the broader internet, i just picked it because i happen to know it has tags for that, and also because making people ‘brain dead and desperate to fuck’ is definitely the kind of story you find there)

(i’m just saying. maybe it’s just not a fun time for you)

Mm, Read Only Mind got conquered by the Affini Compact has a distinct audience that I *do* suspect skews more bottom than, say, the Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive.

But also yeah, a lot of people are in fact into the idea of having that done to them.

But also also…hmm…*reads over replies very carefully*…if I’m *very* generous I *can* see the second one as being an outburst of frustration about how hard a time they’re having finding porn that *isn’t* aimed at people who fantasise about being the top in an erotic horror. (If I’m being honest with myself, though, I think I’m just projecting.) First one definitely does seem to just be mocking, even if it does in fact suck how often I run facefirst into horror when I was looking for fluff.

…I appear to have written so many commentary tags that I ran out of tag display limits. You know what, here:

#if you’d asked me two days ago I’d have included a bit about how every work of erotic fiction has *something* subjectively wrong with it

#it’s not like it’s *exclusive* to horror about turning people into mindless sluts

#every porn has something (usually many things) in it that’s squicky or where it’s obvious that the author’s view of what’s hot is thirty degrees clockwise of yours

#nobody’s tastes are ever going to be a perfect match

#you just have to make the best of it and try to find works with tolerable good-to-meh-to-ugh ratios

#and try to cope with the growing sense of frustration in the back of your mind muttering about how *none* of these people have any fucking *taste*

#if you’d asked me two days ago I’d have said that

#yesterday‚ however‚ I came across a fic on AO3 that is‚ in fact‚ perfect

#there is nothing wrong with it (that is to say‚ grating about it) whatsoever

#no horror‚ no rape‚ no genitals‚ no BDSM‚ not even a tickle scene

#and the *choices* about where and how to place the narrative focus are…they’re…they’re *correct*

#it reads like the porn *I* would write if I were good at writing porn

#I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is a thing that exists

#I feel like I’m repeating myself here because I already wrote a glowing review for my comment/link roundup

#but I haven’t posted that yet‚ so from the perspective of the rest of you this is the first I’ve mentioned it

#I guess what I’m saying here viscerally is that “Give These People a Break” in the AO3 Anonymous collection is a new bar in quality and every other MC writer in the world needs to get on its level

#(*yes* including the writers who think “MC” stands for “motorcycle club’’‚ why not)

#and what I’m saying here intellectually is that I acknowledge that they won’t do that because actually their tastes are different from mine and Their Kinks Are Okay

#but it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between venting and kinkshaming from the outside

#(P.S. to be clear I have nothing against affini fic)

#(many of them are quite good)

#((”Abscission“ especially is well worth reading for the proverbial articles *alone*))

#(but it *is* striking how large a percentage of the front page it makes up)


#reply via reblog #tag rambles #now with added hyperlinks and segments longer than 140 characters #nsfw text #sexuality and lack thereof #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #venting cw #discourse cw? #recs

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people write AUs where characters from a fantasy universe are in like, the setting or plot situation of another non-fantasy story all the time, and usually it’s a no-powers version of those characters because more often than not the powers would absolutely break all the stakes of the au.

And that’s totally logical and makes sense, but I think the version where the transplanted characters get to keep their powers and break the stakes has hilarious and underutilized crack potential.

Like just once I’d like to read “The 74th annual Hunger Games goes absolutely tits up and nobody knows why none of the kids seem to be dying despite some serious effort on the part of the gamemakers. Meanwhile sharp-eyed viewers at home may notice that the shy and unassuming male tribute from district 11—whose personal item was a pair of costume glasses—hasn’t been seen on-camera even once since the opening gong. But not many people do notice. After all, in all the pageantry leading up to the games, no tribute was more boring than Clark Kent.“

I absolutely love this and will contribute the ideas:

  • The Animorphs must kill both Donald Trump and Putin in order to avert nuclear war
  • Perhaps the fault is not in our stars, but in the fact we haven’t killed enough rats yet for me to level up to a third-level cleric and become immune to cancer
  • Just the Karate Kid movie but halfway through Luke figures out how to use the Force, surprising and confusing his mentor Mr Miyagi
  • Every character from League of Legends suddenly exists in Game of Thrones and now everyone has to cope with that, somehow
  • The Princess Diaries but your dad is Poseidon and your mom is a queen and therefore your life gets very complicated whenever you’re really supposed to be at a royal function but you have to flee to Camp Half-blood so you don’t get eaten by monsters

But I ALSO want some non-powered individuals walking into situations where the characters ought to have powers.

  • How do we get the ring to Mordor? We get in a modified Aston Martin and drive. Whoever this wizard guy is, he’s no match for Bond…. James Bond.
  • Just a competent, functional adult tries tackling the Yeerk invasion. Like completely no powers but they’re a functional adult who makes excellent life choices. Instead of turning into an animal to raid Yeerk headquarters, they just buy large quantities of plastic explosive.
  • How fast can Sherlock Holmes speedrun Pale?
  • What if you were in the Pokemon universe and you did not have any Pokemon but you did have a basic grasp of economics

And I kind of want to read stuff where they keep their powers…. and go into a setting with completely different powers.

  • Taylor Hebert Beats Up Aslan, Takes Over Narnia
  • The USS Enterprise encounters an odd society where people are divided into factions like Dauntless and Abnegation, which Spock thinks is illogical
  • Gracelings vs. Fire Lord Ozai in the ultimate showdown
  • You have a Portal gun. Your task is to find the Holy Grail. Morgana le Fay may interfere

I participated in an (on indefinite hiatus) glowfic that was, basically, a D&D druid meets the USS Enterprise. The druid couldn’t use most of their powers normally because they work with ensouled life and classical elements, not these ‘atoms’ and life that does all its cognition with just the brain. It was fun.

And ahead of me if I work on it is the uplifting story of a magic school student … not having access to his powers and instead introducing a high-magic lower-nonmagical-tech setting to the wonders of electricity and electronics and modern medicine.


#yeah I was reading this post the whole time thinking ”have *I* got the genre for *you*” #glowfic #recs #story ideas I will never write #fanfic #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what

The Luxurious and the Obscene: Food in Fiction – AndaisQ – Original Work [Archive of Our Own]

{{Title link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41560683 }}


Maggie Silber-Lin knows that eating is a normal part of human life. There’s nothing inherently shameful about it. It’s just hard, sometimes, to make a living writing about food, when it’s such a sensitive topic, even inside her own head. But everyone has to – well. Survive.

(A series of vignettes in a world that looks more different from our own than it is.)

I finally posted my creative writing thesis! A series of vignettes about food. Also about sex. Also about trying to be a real person when you’re kind of a disaster.


#I saw (via moral-autism) transgenderer’s post calling this a ”really good bit of sociological specfic” #”presumably they posted it on their blog but i cant find it”‚ she said‚ when linking it herself #either my Tumblr-fu is better or I’m just more stubborn‚ because I found the author’s own crosspost #seemed polite to reblog that one instead #this is interesting stuff and I recommend it #for best effect‚ read it while high off your gourd on hormones‚ having already been contemplating other twists your wiring could have taken #it’s an experience #it’s not‚ I admit‚ an experience available to you‚ dear reader‚ but it’s an experience #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #sexuality and lack thereof #food #storytime #recs #(I do think it carries some of that all-too-common vibe of privacy/sanctity/profundity-as-something-learned-and-something-best-unlearned) #(although you could also interpret it as…not *knowing* how much of it is learned‚ and having no way of knowing‚ and #having to make your peace with that) #((I know I’ve told the yo-yo story a couple of times now)) #((but I also know that most people never had an opportunity to find out if they were the kind of kid who would react that way)) #((and I know that of those who *did* have such opportunities‚ I rarely-to-never hear of any who reacted like I did)) #((so there’s that)) #tag rambles