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wirehead-wannabe:

Carson + Paul is obviously the best choice. Heal the world + never worry about being sick or getting STDs + end the drug war. Only downside is spending three hours a day praying, which is honestly the easiest downside to deal with.

Also I think Paul’s running mate bonus is supposed to say “decriminalization” in the last paragraph.

Taken from /u/annextasia at https://www.reddit.com/r/makeyourchoice/comments/4gtu83/2016_gop_nomination_cyoa_oc/

psybersecurity:

Kasich is better than Carson I think. If you have a legion of 11 million loyal followers willing to heed your beck and call you could do pretty much anything and it would be a lot more fun than standing around all day touching people and feeling guilty every second that you’re doing anything else

I’m trying to figure out why Ted’s running mate bonus is supposed to be a good thing lol

wirehead-wannabe:

I mean you could probably earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a day curing AIDS and cancer if you really just wanted to use it on yourself. Which is arguably just as good if not better than having 11 million loyal followers.

socialjusticemunchkin:

Or you could tax the ohioans just a few dollars a day each to earn a hundred times more.

Assuming “Ohio” means the legal state of Ohio, and not “the territory which currently forms the state of Ohio”, Kasich/Paul is totally OP and broken.

First, I legalize individuals and communities choosing which state to belong to democratically. The other states may whine, but governance only with the consent of the governed doesn’t violate basic rights, so with Paul I can totally do it.

Then I end the drug war. In Ohio, because I’ve legalized states setting their own drug laws.

I decriminalize states setting their own immigration rules, and open the borders in Ohio, defining ohioans as “anyone present in Ohio, or who announces their decision to join Ohio, or who has previously fulfilled either condition and has not renounced their ohioanness” (thus, making me immune to assassinations as anyone who would try to do it would have to travel to Ohio, become ohioan, and stop wanting to assassinate me and start wanting to protect me instead).

Then I implement a basic income in Ohio (for those who have been ohioans for a sufficient amount of time, as I have previously suggested). And all the other cool stuff, in Ohio.

Everyone would give anything for the cause, so I ask the people to be excellent to each other, and otherwise be free to do whatever they want as long as they don’t deprive others of the same right (but if they wish to give to charity they really should prioritize EA instead of Make-a-Wish). Crime in Ohio plummets to zero, and so does poverty, deprivation, and coercion. The economy gets an immense boom from the immigrants, and the abolition of zero-sum and negative-sum bullshit games, and all people working together for their prosperity, like a weird libertarian (or, in fact, full-blown anarchist in all but name) version of North Korea’s propaganda films come true.

The obvious consequence is that a lot of people would want to be a part of Ohio. Just as planned. It won’t take long until Ohio has a population of approximately 200 million and covers a vast fractal shape encompassing most of the major cities.

Then I become the president of the US in the most overwhelming election since Washington, seize control of all brances of the government, and turn my Paul powers to international law instead. Rinse repeat with a bit more restraint to not provoke a nuclear war, and I’ll soon have acquired most of the Americas, the major liberal cities of Europe, and vast swathes of territory in Africa as well (I’m deliberately not touching Russia or China because that way lies armageddon), in this only-nominally-stateful community of freedom and dignity.

It’s immune to invasions because open borders mind control magic, it’s immune to terrorism because surely you wouldn’t want to hurt your fellow ohioans, it’s immune to pretty much everything except ICBMs. For ICBMs my policy will be a clear and ruthless MAD if attacked, but otherwise non-interference in the affairs of the other superpower and the little regional Shitholistan with a superiority complex propped up by its ridiculous nuclear arsenal. In fact, I can afford a comparably submissive foreign policy, letting Russia pick the arctic oil and China get whatever gas fields it wants because our anarchist regime is too rich to care about such slim pickings.

We’re going to outer space instead. All the labor and ingenuity currently wasted in pointless things will be redirected in a program of technology and space colonization (and AI research but I’m assuming no FAI because it kind of cuts everything short and turns things boring). We’re going to cure all the diseases, conquer the Moon, Mars, and everywhere. We’re going to win.

---

A wise man once asked: “Why does everything always end in world domination with you guys?”

The rationalist answered: “Have you ever tried giving us a scenario that did not have world domination built in?”

---

To the US I came seeking fortune
But they’re making me work til I’m dead
The congressmen have it so easy
The bankers put gold on their bread
The people of the world are so hungry
But think what a feast there could be
If we could create an anarchist state
That cared for the people like me: 

I am the man who arranges the blocks
That descend upon me from up above.
They come down and I spin them around
Til they fit in the ground like hand in glove.
Sometimes it seems that to move blocks is fine
And the lines will be formed as they fall –
Then I see that I have misjudged it!
I should not have nudged it after all.

Can I have a long one please?
Why must these infernal blocks tease?

I am the man who arranges the blocks
That continue to fall from up above.
Come Ohioan! To the every last one!
An individualist regime of peace and love.
I work so hard in arranging the blocks
But the landlord and taxman bleed me dry
But Ohio will rise! We will not compromise
For we know that the old regime must die.

Long live freedom, burn the flags!
We salute the orange and black!

I am the man who arranges the blocks
That continue to fall from up above.
The food on your plate no concern of the state
An individualist regime of peace and love.
I have my choice in arranging the blocks
Under promethean rule, what you say goes.
The rule of the game is our rights are the same
And my blocks can make my own-shaped rows.

Long live Ohio! It loves you!
Sing these words, you know what it’ll do…

I am the man who arranges the blocks
That are made by the men from Shitholistan.
They came two weeks ago and back there they won’t go
Now they’re working to our world conquest plan.
I am the man who arranges the nukes
That will make all the Putin keep away
The hopes have come back, and ‘Murica is Black!
Let us point all our dollars at EA.

We shall live forever more!
We can start an altruism war!

I am the man who arranges the blocks
That are building a highly secret base.
Hip hip hurray for the AS of A!
We are sending our men to outer space.

ilzolende:

This is #amazing, you are #amazing, 10/10.

Note to self: Sing this when I have microphone access.

Also, orange-and-black is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutualism_(economic_theory), yes?

brin-bellway:

“Every single man, woman, child, and animal in Ohio” (emphasis added)

See the loophole?

That’s right, folks: nonbinary assassins.

(Furthermore, if we’re going to play with definitions as much as “Ohio” has been played with, perhaps the resistance could have elaborate coming-of-age rituals, without which one is not considered to be truly adult, and then deliberately keep binary people in a liminal state where they are old enough not to be children*, but since they haven’t completed the rituals they’re not men/women yet.)

(Might also be able to get some stuff done through gender abolitionism, which I seem to recall Promethea favours? So there could still be some benefit in this from their perspective depending on the resistance’s methods.)

(But nonbinary assassins would still be the quickest and easiest method, because we already have some nonbinary adults readily available and wouldn’t need to spend precious time training people out of old thought patterns regarding the meaning of adulthood and/or gender.)

*For obvious reasons, the definition of “child” should be made as narrow as possible.

brin-bellway:

Mind you, it never says the mind-control spell breaks upon the death
of the mind-controller, and the word “permanent” implies it doesn’t.

This makes things trickier.

mugasofer:

Wouldn’t nonbinary people still technically be animals, biologically?

I’d say Carson/Paul. Cure all the diseases and become “the greatest doctor who ever lived” (obvious implications for medical and scientific research) and total immunity to disease (which probably means impressive personal longevity.) 

And with Paul’s running-mate bonus, you already control the country (or possibly every country?) Pretty easy to dissolve Ohio by criminalizing it, or direct US forces against the unstoppable armies of John Kasich (if that fails to release to the mind control.) The only issue is what counts as a “human right” in this context – constitutional rights? The UN declaration? Can we experiment on moral law by checking what qualifies as a human right to this power?

“Wouldn’t nonbinary people still technically be animals, biologically?“

Good point. The resistance is clearly going to need more robots.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #fun with loopholes #choice games