attackfish:

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can’t argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.


Tags:

#Passover #frogs #Untitled Goose Game #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #death tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

confused-goy:

When my cat lays down in loaf position, is she leavened or unleavened? Is my cat kosher for Passover?

ikchen:

My experience tells me that catloaves do not wish to rise, which makes them unleavened and kosher.

ikchen:

The above-mentioned loaf:

tumblr_inline_p6iv2d8icj1qcy020_500

pipmer:

@coloredink

persian-slipper:

@animatedamerican

animatedamerican:

If your cat is not made from one of the five grains, she cannot technically be leavened.  However, since it is clear that she can be made into something that resembles bread, it may be worth asking your local rabbi if she is kitteniot.

lannamichaels:

If your cat is made from the five grains, be careful about getting the cat wet, it could be purrbrochts.


Tags:

#*kitteniot* oh my god #Passover #puns #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #cats #food

hametronit:

ahh yes, the only thing this apocalypse was missing..

5b7dec9d31e108533e918f4bd8d8a2970d8879c5

The hellcracker

 

anaisnein:

excuse you these are pure comfort

 

tototavros:

i had them exactly once, loved them, then used them as school lunch for 6 months, got tired for a few, and then used them again for a year

 

rustingbridges:

hmm I wonder if there are regional patterns in how matzah is spelled. I didn’t know matzo was a valid spelling. possibly this is because I only interact with matza in verbal conversation. tbh none of those spellings feel right

 

businesstiramisu:

I think it’s Hebrew vs. Yiddish (same with Shabbat vs. Shabbos), but I haven’t actually checked that. Also: Matza is great – matza coffee, matza brie, the leftovers make great breakfast!

 

rustingbridges:

hmm I would expect to have been exposed to the yiddish version, since all the jews I knew were germanic and had jokes about older relatives making yiddish expressions, so I might have just not been paying attention closely enough to pick up the difference. alternately the kids I knew didn’t learn much yiddish outside of the oy vey tier, and did have to go to hebrew school.

The secret to good matzah is to tell the “egg matzah is ~only for invalids~” rabbis to go fuck themselves. Egg matzah is pretty good.

(And yeah, we use surprisingly little Yiddish (and correspondingly more Hebrew) in my family. I remember having a joke fly over my head as a pre-teen because I didn’t know what a yarmulke was: we always called them kippot. (singular kippah)

And all those times on Wikipedia where I was reading about genetic disorders and Ashkenazim were more prone to damn near everything, and I was just kind of like “huh, sucks to be them”, and then when I was about seventeen I found out *I* was Ashkenazic.

(Only half-Ashkenazic, though, so I guess that dilutes the inbreeding. And most of the really terrible ones are things I would have noticed by now.))


Tags:

#*knocks on wood* #reply via reblog #Judaism #Passover #food #language #illness mention


{{next post in sequence}}

mousefeets:

god, EVERY YEAR one of the local churches puts up a big sign that says “HE IS RISEN”, and EVERY YEAR whenever I see it I just think “OH HE IS, IS HE??? WELL IF HE IS RISEN THEN HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED AT MY SEDER, LEAVENED MESSIAHS ARE NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!”

I also post about this on my blog every year but

that’s okay

because

IT’S OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS

EVERY

YEAR


Tags:

#Tumblr traditions #this post was queued to ensure proper timing #Judaism #Christianity #Easter #Passover

mousefeets:

god, EVERY YEAR one of the local churches puts up a big sign that says “HE IS RISEN”, and EVERY YEAR whenever I see it I just think “OH HE IS, IS HE??? WELL IF HE IS RISEN THEN HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED AT MY SEDER, LEAVENED MESSIAHS ARE NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!”

I also post about this on my blog every year but

that’s okay

because

IT’S OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS

EVERY

YEAR


Tags:

#Passover #Judaism #Easter #Christianity #food #puns #Tumblr traditions #this post was queued to ensure proper timing

cryptovexillologist:

I wonder how many interfaith families do combination Easter egg/Afikoman hunts

I wouldn’t call us interfaith (Mom converted to Judaism in part to *avoid* having an interfaith family), but yes, there was at least one year where my parents hid plastic Easter eggs they’d filled with kosher-for-Passover chocolates around the house.


Tags:

#Judaism #reply via reblog #my childhood

mousefeets:

god, EVERY YEAR one of the local churches puts up a big sign that says “HE IS RISEN”, and EVERY YEAR whenever I see it I just think “OH HE IS, IS HE??? WELL IF HE IS RISEN THEN HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED AT MY SEDER, LEAVENED MESSIAHS ARE NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!”

I also post about this on my blog every year but

that’s okay

because

IT’S OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS

EVERY

YEAR


Tags:

#Tumblr traditions #Passover #Easter #puns #this post was queued to ensure proper timing

mousefeets:

god, EVERY YEAR one of the local churches puts up a big sign that says “HE IS RISEN”, and EVERY YEAR whenever I see it I just think “OH HE IS, IS HE??? WELL IF HE IS RISEN THEN HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED AT MY SEDER, LEAVENED MESSIAHS ARE NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!”

I also post about this on my blog every year but

that’s okay

because

IT’S OBJECTIVELY HILARIOUS

EVERY

YEAR


Tags:

#Tumblr traditions #Passover #Easter #puns

femmeprince:

lalaithion:

kuklarusskaya:

geeofficerkrupke:

One time, the Queen of England decided to knight a loyal member of her country who happened to be Jewish. 

This man knew that knights were supposed to say something in Latin as the Queen knighted them, but didn’t remember the line, so he quickly said “ma nishtana halaila hazeh micol haleilot”

This, of course, confused the Queen, who turned to her advisor and asked “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”

GROAAANNN

this is one of the best jewish jokes I have possibly ever heard

Passover is coming up soon so I thought I’d bring this back.

@chroniclesofrettek I’m sure you have heard this one before. But it seemed right to tag you.


Tags:

#Judaism #Passover #…oh dear god #puns

cosmictuesdays:

theusssomeproblem:

glenniebun:

theusssomeproblem:

Ain’t no seder like a ds9 seder because a ds9 seder don’t stop because someone thought it would be a good idea to let Garak hide the afikomen

Is hasperat kosher for Pesach?

It is not one of the five grains mentioned in the Talmud so it should be fine as long as you don’t try to make bread out of it. Strict observant Ashkenazim might feel differently depending on how close it is to wheat.

After three hours of increasingly fruitless searching, Sisko finally has to call in the big guns: getting Quark to negotiate terms for its return.


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #Passover