apiphile:

macabrekawaii:

cierammartin:

astrntsnst:

satchmo88:

sarlaccvagina:

BISCUIT CANS ARE TERRIFYING

just laughed for a solid five minutes

True Fucking Story

I jump EVERY time I open one of these. Scary shit.

legit shrieked IRL last time I used one

what’s a biscuit can

This is why I hate when Mom insists on stocking up on Pillsbury croissants in America just because they’re a little cheaper. It’s not worth it.

(In Canada, croissant cans look identical (except for the whole bilingual thing), but they don’t open the moment you pull back the paper enough. You have to whack the crap out of them to get them to open, which means you know exactly which points in time it might happen and can mentally prepare yourself.)


Tags:

#the more you know #(the following category tags were added retroactively:) #our home and cherished land #home of the brave

colchrishadfield:

Kitchener-Waterloo, ON – home to BlackBerryuWaterloo and the church my wife and I got married in.

Hey look, it’s a picture of me! (And about half a million other people.)

(This picture was taken during the day, so no matter how much you zoomed in you would not see me in my backyard, looking up and waving. Evening, now, that’s another matter.)


Tags:

#Waterloo Region #our home and cherished land #with everything all white and grey it’s hard to get your bearings on this picture #no picking out towns by the light-clusters #but I’m pretty sure I’m in there *somewhere*

thelittletreetopper:

What American accent do you have?

What American accent do you have?

My Result: The Inland North(89%)

You may think you speak “Standard English straight out of the dictionary” but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like “Are you from Wisconsin?” or “Are you from Chicago?” Chances are you call carbonated drinks “pop.”

 

carryonmywaywardlullaby:

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: The Midland
 
83%

“You have a Midland accent” is just another way of saying “you don’t have an accent.” You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

 
68%

The South

 
63%

The West

 
51%

North Central

 
48%

The Inland North

 
30%

Philadelphia

 
28%

Boston

 
23%

The Northeast

 
Apparently, this is the accent you get when you spend a little less than half your life in NY and a little less than half your life in Minnesota and the rest in the south. 

 

ziggystardyke:

Bizarrely, if you’re English and you speak with a perfect southern, Queen’s English accent, this quiz says that you sound like you’re from the Northeast:

Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.

Right. Sure. 

 

champagneflavoredstars:

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: The Midland
 
85%

“You have a Midland accent” is just another way of saying “you don’t have an accent.” You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

 

karlimeaghan:

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: North Central
 
86%

“North Central” is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw “Fargo” you probably didn’t think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.

(makes sense, since I am Canadian, lol)

 

ravenskyewalker:

Strange, I got Inland North, despite being a lifelong West inhabitant (mid-northern California, Bay Area). I’ve never been asked if I’m from Wisconsin or Chicago, but have been asked if I’m English (I picked up a trace of it from Mom, who picked it up from her grandfather) or Irish (simply due to looks on that one; I don’t sound it at all).

 

justice-turtle:

I got Inland North too, but my accent’s actually Standard American – what this quiz calls “Midland”. Mainly it means that people don’t ask me if I’m from a particular area but they do ask me where I’m from a lot, because I never sound like I’m “from around here”.

This is what happens when you have one parent who spent their childhood in the Deep South and the Southwest, one from the Pacific Northwest who spent their young adulthood in Boston, and they met and got married in California and then moved to Indiana to have kids. I think the only major region NOT represented is Tornado Alley.

88% Boston. “You definitely have a Boston accent, even if you think you don’t.”

While my dad is from Massachusetts, all that means is that I’ve had enough exposure to Bostonians from family-reunion-type things to know they sound foreign.

(Next one’s 75% Midland, though.)

(I thought hah-rrible vs. hoh-rrible was an American vs. Canadian thing. When people ask me if I’m an immigrant, I respond “it was a long prah-cess getting here”, which indicates both “yes” and “from America” without explicitly saying either. (Though I admit not everyone picks up on the second part.))


Tags:

#meme #accents #our home and cherished land #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #home of the brave

pleatedjeans:

 

64memories:

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO BE GIFFED MY ENTIRE LIFE


Tags:

#I kind of like this commercial #but Mom loves it #she never gets tired of it #they’ve been showing it for years and she still laughs #(the following category tags were added retroactively:) #our home and cherished land #advertising

OKAY AMERICA TIME TO LISTEN THE FUCK UP

{{Title link: http://kaylkat.tumblr.com/post/35824667052/okay-america-time-to-listen-the-fuck-up }}

fancycake:

I’M MAKING A BAGGED MILK TUTORIAL BECAUSE IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS ASKS ME ONE MORE TIME HOW BAGGED MILK WORKS I’M BAGGING YOUR HEAD

HERE GOES

THIS SHIT IS MILK IN A BAG

“OMG HOLY SHIT BUT HOW DO YOU POUR IT WHERE GOES MILK HOW MILK IN MOUTH” SAYS THE AMERICAN

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN

THIS IS WHAT IS INSIDE THAT BIG BAG

THREE LITTLE BAGS THAT LOOK LIKE THIS

WOW HOLY SHIT RIGHT

THE EXTRA BAGS GO IN THIS IF YOU WANT:

AND THEN ONE OF THOSE BAGS GOES IN SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

OH MAN OH MAN IS THIS FREAKING YOU OUT YET WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GONNA DO

WELL I’LL FUCKING TELL YOU

YOU’RE GONNA CUT THE TIP OFF THE BAG LIKE YOU SEE UP THERE

WITH SCISSORS OR A KNIFE IF YOU’RE IMPATIENT (BUT THAT SHIT DOESN’T WORK WELL AND IT TEARS FUNNY) OR, IF YA REAL FANCY, ONE OF THESE:

ANYWAYS NOW YOUR MILK IS READY TO POUR

READY

WAIT FOR IT

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

HOW IS THAT MILK GETTING INTO THAT GLASS????

SHIT IS THAT MAGIC?!?!?!

NO THAT’S CANADA

YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME


Tags:

#our home and cherished land #milk #SHIT IS THAT MAGIC?! #NO THAT’S CANADA

i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards:

 

Ah well. Maybe a cross-country road trip someday? I’ll tell you about my immigration experience if you want, though I was 8-13 yrs (took ages for the US to let us out). 5 years this month and I still prah-cess my proh-duce, not the other way around.

For sure! I will collect all the tumblr people. I’m sure someone will know how to drive. Ahahaha. I always wanted to do a proper road trip anyway.

I would love to hear about your experience, if you’re willing, for real. That’d be freaking awesome info. But aww the US didn’t want to let you out? Ass holes.

ahahaha

I dunno I’m being silly now. Here have a smily face. :)

– Leon

Some tips, tricks, and observations, in roughly chronological order:

Why do fingerprint records expire if you still have the same fingers?

Relatedly, why do they even have time to expire? Is it really that hard for whatever Americans are in charge of these things to tell whatever Canadians are in charge of these things that as far as they know we’re not criminals?

If you must be diagnosed with breast cancer (or any other cancer), be sure it doesn’t happen until the day after your official health exam to check if you’re too much of a burden or something. If it wasn’t known* at the time of the exam, they are not allowed to take it into account. (Yeah, we got in on a technicality. Well, Mom got in on a technicality, but we wouldn’t have gone without her. (Don’t worry, she’s been fine for six years, and they declare you Officially Cured after five.) Besides, by the time we got here her treatment was mostly over, so it wasn’t even particularly burdensome.)

*But it was strongly suspected.

You’re supposed to show up at ServiceOntario (or local equivalent) to get your health card within three months of moving, not after. If you show up after 92 days thinking it’s about as early as possible, they will give you a health card, but it will require significantly more awkwardness and line-waiting while they figure out what to do with you.

Cheez-Its in Canada are rarely stumbled across, and when they say “Limited Time Only” on the box they mean it. Live near enough to the border for occasional shopping trips (we go roughly four times a year, 2.5 hours to Buffalo each way) or prepare to go without.

This is probably not at all relevant to you, but if you’re a minor when you apply for citizenship (even if you’re, oh, 17 years and 10 months *whistles innocently*) you don’t take the knowledge test. (Which means I don’t really know much about it, as it’s Not My Problem.)

Our permanent resident cards expire next month, and we haven’t finished the citizenship process (or prah-cess) yet. I’m not sure how we fix that. Should probably ask.

You’d better hope there are ways of renewing your American passport that involve closer places to Manitoba than Toronto, or you’ve got a hell of a ways to go. (On the other hand, once you’ve gone that far Waterloo Region isn’t that much further. We have apple fritters! (Well, I actually like the Kitchener Market’s apple fritter shop better. The fritters taste about the same, but they also sell lángos, which is even more delicious.)) In Toronto at least, you can only start the renewing-your-passport between the hours of…I think it was 8 AM and 10:30 AM (I know 10:30 was the latest), which sucks for our schedule and probably yours as well. (We’ve made the appointment, but it hasn’t happened yet.)


Tags:

#our home and cherished land #reply via reblog

laurelrusswurm:

I dropped by the St. Jacob’s Farmer’s market today.


Tags:

#Waterloo Region #St. Jacob’s market is a nice place #Mom likes the Kitchen Kuttings beefstick (not really my thing) #the apple fritters are good (especially with ice cream) if you go on a weekday #(the forty-minute Saturday line isn’t worth it) #our home and cherished land

urbanism-etc:

Michael’s has the best parking lot in the city.


Tags:

#Waterloo Region #Best parking lot for what? #(You can’t see the Sun Life Financial building that well from this angle) #(but it’s pretty) #(all blue and glassy) #our home and cherished land

So I hear Obamacare passed.

harpalyce:

thingsareswinging:

And a whole load of Republicans are threatening to move to Canada in light of this?

Should- should somebody tell them?

No, no, no. Let’s let it be a surprise.

They…what? Really? Seriously?

hahahahahahahahahahahaha


Tags:

#hahahahahaha #ahahahaha #our home and cherished land #there was this one time my mom’s cornea was quite possibly detaching #so she went to get it checked out #cost: $15 in parking fees #(turned out she was fine) #(but now we know)