very-flirtatious-deatheater:

thegreatsnapescape:

enter-the-phantom:

Some of my favourite moments from the day I spent at the library playing Snape for their Harry Potter event

•”The real Snape is taller than you!”

“Real Snape? Oh, you mean the muggle who played me in that film? His name was Alan. My name is not Alan, and I am sadly not 6’1”. Ten points from Gryffindor.”

•*to a little girl dressed as Hedwig complete with mask* “You’re that Potter brat’s owl, arent you? Hedwig, correct?”

“Yeah! You’re so mean to Harry! *pretends to peck at me my god she was adorable*

“See, I’d put you in detention for that, but regrettably you can’t put owls in detention. So I’ll put your mother in detention instead for raising such a disrespectful child.” *the mother cracked up at this*

•”Are you Professor Snape?”

“*long sigh* Regrettably.”

•I had a belt of potions bottles and a group of kids asked me what potions I had, so I actually gave an impromptu potions lesson. Some of the highlights included threatening to use Skele-Gro on a boy dressed as Harry who wouldn’t stop interrupting, and loudly complaining to their parents that I wouldn’t have had to waste time reteaching this lesson if their kids had paid attention the first time.

•Word got out that I actually had the dark mark on my arm so kids kept coming up to ask to see it. I made a big show of rolling my eyes and threatening them and then finally rolling up sleeve while flexing the tendons in my wrist to make the snake move. Made several kids scream. It was hilarious

There were a couple teenagers in a group with a Luna and her friend dressed as her rabbit patronus. I had a lot of fun with them giving her a hard time:

-“Lovegood. I know that name. Why do I—ah, yes, your father.”

“He writes for the Quibbler!”

“Indeed he does. Penned an article claiming Hogwarts had a vampire teaching there. Can’t imagine to whom he was referring.” *cue biggest laugh of the evening*

-“Lovegood, if you melt on more pewter cauldron—“

“They had dark magic in them! All pewter cauldrons do!” (She was really good)

“…you’re telling me every pewter cauldron was made by a dark wizard? He must have been extraordinarily busy” *dry tone*

“Yes, and it explains why you’re the way you are. Spent too much time with pewter cauldrons”

“…why am I still talking to you, Lovegood?”

•”Why arent you at Hogwarts?”

“Have you been outside, child? It’s summer.”

•*parents who wanted photos* “Can we get our picture/their picture with you?”

“…*sigh* Fine. *dramatic eye roll* You do know I’m the villain for like six and three-fourths of seven books, right?” (They found this hilarious)

•The classic, “I love your costume/great costume!” comments followed up with “…What costume?”

•There was a sorting station I helped back up for a bit and I had way too much fun loudly groaning and complaining when kids were put into Gryffindor.

•One little girl was put into Slytherin so I introduced myself to her and her dad and was all “You’d better make me proud. Although honestly after 14 years my expectations aren’t very high so that should be relatively easy.” Went over her head but the dad lost it

•*two rowdy little boys nearly putting each other’s eyes out with fake wands and in general causing dangerous commotion* “No duelling in the halls. Twenty points each from both your houses, and a week’s detentions.” (They straightened up immediately. Was proud.)

•There was a station where kids could make Pygmy puffs out of cotton balls and glue and one kid made an all black one and proudly presented it to me with “I tried to make it look grumpy”

tumblr_pcpior7gcd1txujkn_540

That is spot on and so wonderful! Share you Snapeing secrets…

A wholesome post.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #(close enough)

hugealienpie:

marauders4evr:

15-underscores:

ihsnamih:

I love how casually knowledgeable Ronald Weasley is, talking facts, including the year and the venue

like that.

Charlie studied dragons. Ron isn’t just casually knowledgeable, he takes an interest in his brothers’ hobbies

I’ll bet it wasn’t just an interest. In fact, I’ll bet those exact words were repeated in the Weasley household on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

“But Mum, my mate’s cousin’s sister’s uncle has the egg just ready to go and honestly, who better to take care of things than us, because after all—?”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

“Dad, seriously, the guy in the alleyway was practically begging me to take the egg and I mean—”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

“Good morning, family, let’s say I managed to convert my bedroom into a habitat suitable for a Chinese Fireball, wouldn’t that show that I’m respons—”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

It’s just on a gigantic af poster in the middle of the Burrow’s kitchen. Hanging right there above the tea kettle: 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕤’ ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕠𝕗 𝟙𝟟𝟘𝟡, ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖!

It just wasn’t mentioned because it wasn’t relevant to Harry’s journey.

Not a poster. A sampler, spite-embroidered by Percy one very surly winter.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #dragon

marauders4evr:

Harry isn’t quite out of his teens when it fully hits him—the war, the blood and the guts spread across the corridors of Hogwarts, the screams and sobs, the nightmares, the shadows that never seem to leave him.

It’s too much.

He gets a flat in London—Muggle London. Hermione and the Weasleys give him space. Kingsley ensures the wizarding world gives him privacy. Not that some aren’t reluctant. Rita Skeeter releases articles every day, wondering when their Boy Who Lived will return.

But Harry doesn’t see those articles.

He tries to forget who he is for awhile.

His flat is cozy. He stuffs it with plants and paintings and books. He has a cat (or three). He wears sweaters and blazers with corduroy pants. He goes to the market every morning to buy fruits and vegetables. That’s where he meets the kindly old woman who lives down the street.

She lived through World War II and so many other wars, wars that Harry has never experienced but can only imagine.

She goes to his house and she goes to hers. There’s always tea and small cakes and dinners and cocoa—apparently she believes that a teenager needs cocoa—and baking and reading and knitting.

Harry uses magic to brew the cocoa one day, not realizing that she’s standing in the doorway. She calms him by telling him that she knows all about magic. 

Their conversations shift after that. They talk about their favorite creatures and how hard it was to watch them perish before their eyes. They talk about the wall that seemingly gave way to let them enter the magical world. They talk about lions and friends and family and love and betrayals and life and death.

“When did you leave?” Harry asks one day.

She pauses, a hand resting on his cat’s head. After a moment, she looks up with a heaviness in her eyes, a heaviness that Harry sees when he looks in the mirror everyday. 

“I was young,” she says. “Younger than you are now. But I had already grown up. I didn’t want to leave, not really, but it became too much.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Some days I do, some days I don’t.” 

“Yeah…”

It’s a few months later, when he’s helping her shovel the first snow from her walkway, that he asks, “Did you ever try going back?”

“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t,” she says, shoving a cup of cocoa into his hands. “I was shut out as soon as I hesitated.”

He pauses, nearly dropping the cocoa, before whispering, “That’s horrible.”

“What about you?” She escorts him inside, her cane tapping against the floor that he’s magically heated to warm her feet. “Would you be welcomed back?”

“Oh, yeah,” Harry says. “Til they turn on me because they don’t like the color of my shirt or because I sneezed the wrong way or because—you name it.”

She laughs and he smiles.

“Imagine that,” she softly says. “Rulers of our worlds and we’re not even allowed in them.”

“Imagine that.”

He does go back to the wizarding world, of course, but he never forgets his London flat. He visits the street from time to time, knowing that Susan Pevensie will be there, ready to push a cup of cocoa into his hands.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #Narnia #fanfic #crossovers

toxicology

batmansymbol:

Summary: Being best friends with a horcrux for seven years changes a person.

find on: FFnet and ao3

“While the magical container is still intact, the bit of soul inside it can flit in and out of someone if they get too close to the object. I don’t mean holding it for too long–it’s nothing to do with touching it,” Hermione added before Ron could speak. “I mean close emotionally. Ginny poured her heart out into that diary. She made herself incredibly vulnerable. You’re in trouble if you get too fond of, or dependent on, the horcrux.”

– deathly hallows

Hermione’s different in the summers.

First comes the crash. She doesn’t know what it is, the exhaustion, the almost reptilian languor, but she always begins to feel it the instant she parts from Harry and Ron at King’s Cross. Those first few days of summer she’s always dangling off her bed in the midmornings and staring out the window of her parents’ house, eyes blank as rough garnet, lace coverlet thrown across her wrist, inside which her pulse is throbbing in something like a withdrawal symptom. For two days she can’t make herself touch books, or even food. Her mouth starts to taste like water.

But everything’s slow in summer, and she has time to adjust. It’s a process of kaleidoscopic reorientation, shifting the tube so that the crystals align just so, until they coalesce perfectly into a mirror and there–she can see herself again.

By end of July, she’s woken up.

Keep reading


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic

ginevravweasley:

listen secret magical creature heritage au’s may be cliche and overused but they are my JAM

 

ginevravweasley:

you can’t tell me Luna didn’t have some sort of fae background. or parseltongue didn’t come from the nagas. or the Malfoy’s didn’t have veela blood. or the Weasley’s didn’t come from fire sprites. or the Pervell brothers weren’t necromancers. because I assure you this is 100% canon. fight me.

 

lullabyknell:

(What are you even suggesting, this is totally canon. Anyone who wants to get to you will have to fight me first. Bring it.)

It’s fairly obvious if you know what to look for. Unfortunately, so few people do, not realizing that person does not necessarily mean human. But perhaps this is inevitable, given that most nonhumans are dead, elsewhere, or intensely and viciously private nowadays.

A younger humankind would have laughed at the idea of “pure blood”. If anyone human-shaped was pure, then it was the purely nonmagical humans. Mud Men, many nonhumans affectionately called the tenacious people.

Goodness gracious, where did people think magical blood came from in the first place? The term mudblood? And if you wanted to call a pure elf or fae a creature or a beast, then it was a good idea to dig your own grave first. Save everyone else the trouble.

But that was then… and this is now. Now, you often must watch closely.

Lucius Malfoy, for example, is not a terrifying difficult puzzle. One only has to look up the family tree to find their French origins and relation to many prominent Veela clans there. Although, that is perhaps more difficult than it sounds, as the Malfoys have “fixed” all their copies and buried the rest deep in unmarked graves.

But, watching closely… the hair and general preening suggested quite clearly, accompanied by a certain slant to the jaw and elegance to the limbs. Along with how the man could lure many a Ministry official into agreements with seamless charm and smooth smiles. And also in the way his handsome face will twist into something terrible in anger, his hands clenching like claws, flexing with half-remembered fire and talons.

When Lucius Malfoy cares for the peacocks at Malfoy Manor, when nobody is watching, he will cluck and coo at them. And they will answer him. Veelas have their own origins, after all, in the avian set of magical creatures.

On the other hand, while Narcissa is loyal to her husband, the Black family has their own hidden nonhuman origins.

She is much more of a lurker than dear bloodthirsty Bella, waiting for the right moment to strike from the shadows, much like viciously protective Andromeda – they are more scavengers than predator, the younger two. Though none the less cruel or dark. None the less protective of their nest.

Narcissa is quiet, unlike the howls of hateful Walburga, much like the silent judgement of cold Orion or the creeping calculation of young Regulus. Entirely unlike the brash swipes and territorial snarls of Sirius, who is more familiar with lurking in shadows and striking for blood than he will ever be comfortable with.

They are so similar, yet so different. What they are has many names, bogeymen is one; they are the brothers and sisters of all the necromantic (and some of the demonic, too), and they come in so many kinds.

Luna Lovegood is another simple puzzle – that she is practically made of thousands of clues is answer enough. That she can see things and creatures and the invisible sorts that most can’t is almost the only clue you need. Fae are a rather insular bunch, after all, and few have the Sight to looking for the Fair Folk or the way their Worlds weave together.

But as for the little clues, well… the girl’s heritage is in the vegetables in her ears, the odd-sounding sentences and introductions, and the used bottlecaps around her throat. It’s from the inverted reading of everything… to the visiting of Thestrals in bare feet and with both an apple and a strip of flesh as offering.

Little things, odd things, but important things.

There are certain Safe Ways of dealing with the world, you see – a certain way to go about doing things. Like tossing salt over your shoulder if you spill it, never breaking a mirror, and not intruding on Fairy Forts for anything. Luck has to be worked for, and a smart fae follows traditions and pays attention when their ears burn. Listening to omens like owls and robins and black cats can save a life. (Luna didn’t know to be listening then, she regrets it now.)

And it’s too faint to see, but when she skips, she hovers for a split-second before she falls. Somewhere deep in Luna Lovegood, something is singing a half-remembered warble… of wings made of gossamer and glass turned flesh.

Weasleys, on the other hand, are an interesting matter, especially with the introduction of the Prewetts. Weasleys come from a curious line of creature, literally quite curious, and… well… quite weasel-like in appearance, as opposed to the avian origins of Veela. But Prewetts… Prewetts were born of fire – fire sprites, elementals, somewhere between nature spirit and demon, spiteful and fierce and warm and hot.

One would need the right machinery to see it, but it can be felt perfectly fine when a child of Molly Weasley gets angry. The air around them gets quite warm. And they turn quite red, which clashes horribly with their hair, which is sign in itself, really. Quite a temper, fire has, if you poke it.

For those who can see it and are paying attention, Ginny Weasley’s hair rises slightly when she’s furious, and her tomato-red ears give off the faintest of sparks. Luna doesn’t mention it though, because it’s not very polite to point out that sort of thing. She does, however, note with some interest that Ron’s do the same, after she meets him.

Harry Potter, the infamous Boy Who Lived, is… a bit strange. He’s hard to pin down, honestly, almost impossible. When he flies, one might suspect something born of wind or something born with wings. When he fights, one might suspect something animalistic, something extremely loyal and fierce, and maybe a bit mean when provoked out of gentle contentment. Or maybe something powerful, something truly sorcerous or maybe demonic.

He hisses like a naga, he’s got eyes between nymph and necromantic, and he acts sometimes… elvish in demeanor… house-elvish. It’s hard to tell, honestly. Who knows? He certainly doesn’t.

Hermione Granger, while on the subject of the three friends, is actually incredibly obvious. That truly fearsome intelligence? That offensive temper, that righteous determination, that jealous pride, that cruel vindictiveness when crossed? That affinity for fire? That near hoarding of as much knowledge as she can reach? A tad insecure, but the young ones are always easily upset, and the kindness and crusading isn’t at all a dealbreaker.

Oh, wouldn’t the so-called “purebloods” be surprised? But, then again, many forget that fire hides under the earth. And the riddling, terribly clever kind of dragons aren’t really around anymore. The rare few that remain, however, always tend to be such book-wyrms.

Like the mudblood girl’s, Tom Marvolo Riddle’s naga heritage was well-hidden. First behind his handsome nonmagical father’s face, then behind the mutations and corrupting magic of the Horcruxes.

He shouldn’t have tried to get rid of most of his “Muggleness” when he resurrected himself, if he had wanted to keep a human appearance. The faint scales of scales on his skin and slits of his eyes are entirely his own fault – the ancient naga blood wasn’t enough to create something less unnatural and ill-suited to exist. Voldemort was always cold, wherever he went.

“Purity” of magic and of witches and wizards, my friends, is such a laughable thing. “Pure blood”? Goodness gracious, what a joke.

 

indiebluecrown:

This is everything I ever wanted and more. @hogwartsaheadcanon come and look at this beautiful post OMG.

 

hogwartsaheadcanon:

eeeeeee I actually love this so fucking much


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic

how arthur weasley got hired

accio-shitpost:

head of the misuse of muggle artefacts office: oh shit i gotta do an interview now? i don’t even know what we do here! we misuse some muggle shit? sounds right. sure. hey, kid, what’s your name

arthur: arthur weasley, sir

head: you misused any muggle shit recently?

arthur: today i enchanted these toasters to make them sentient, and also angry

head: holy shit can you start right now


Tags:

#Harry Potter #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

another-normal-anomaly:

Hey uh remember when a fuckin Death Eater went under cover as an Order member and taught Harry to resist the Imperius Curse, which skill he then used against Voldemort within the year? Because that happened

note that said Death Eater had recently been kept under Imperius for like *eleven fucking years*

(although it doesn’t seem to be a “nobody else should ever have to go through what I went through” thing, since he Imperiuses some people himself (and not just for teaching purposes))


Tags:

#Barty Crouch Jr had a fucked-up life #Harry Potter #reply via reblog

fleamontpotter:

snapslikethis:

prongsmydeer:

snapslikethis:

i will never be over vernon dursley telling people at his wedding that james potter was some kind of amateur magician, implying that he wasn’t even that good

tumblr_inline_p372wvgfvm1r7sndt_540

100% believe that if petunia hadn’t cut lily out of her life, james would have just rolled with it and learned muggle magic tricks and performed them at various family functions, like

try to wear the full magician costume to dudleys christening 

“you can’t wear that james” 
“it’s the only way i’m going, lil” 
“fine but give me your wand” 
“my real one, or the fake one that shoots out flowers?” 
“both, and you’d better tidy the handkerchiefs are trailing out of your trouser leg before we leave”

“I’m not a magician, marge, i’m an illusionist.”

petunia walks in on james pretending to saw toddler dudley in half for toddle harry’s amusement

actually incorporating magic into the tricks and freaking the hell out of vernon’s extended family

standing up at christmas and saying that he’d like to perform a magic trick. and vernon and petunia are HORRIFIED and lily just pours more wine but marge says ‘let him do it’ so she can mock him?? and he tries/fails to ‘vanish’ the napkins 3-4 times and it doesn’t work, until the fourth time when it DOES and it freaks the hell out of vernon’s extended family

and that is probably when petunia cuts lily out of her life for Real

guys this is a very important post and i’ve been thinking about it all morning 

tumblr_inline_p38l2cgvb01rz19cb_540

Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #comic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

fleamontpotter:

never forget vernon losing his fucking mind when harry was getting his hogwarts letters


Tags:

#long post #Harry Potter #comic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #there is probably some warning tag I should put on this but I am not sure what

nonasuch:

all right. so. this is a Harry Potter AU, in rambly and abbreviated form.

  • this is a version of events where, on the morning of November 1st, 1981, the police are called to a house in Surrey.
  • when they arrive, a large man with a red face and a moustache is waiting for them, brandishing a baby.
  • to be more accurate: he is brandishing a basket. the basket contains a baby.
  • he tells the police that his wife found the basket on their doorstep that morning. “Gave her the shock of her life,” he says, with a chuckle that does not seem the least bit sincere.
  • the police officers have a lot of questions about this, but the man does not have any useful answers. his wife, he tells them, is not in any shape to be interviewed. “she’s been poorly,” he says, “and we’ve got a baby of our own to worry about, keeping us up at all hours.”
  • the baby in the basket seems to be about a year old. he is cheerful, seems healthy aside from a cut on his forehead, with a crooked sticking plaster on it. he has startlingly green eyes.
  • there is no identifying information in the basket, except for a torn scrap of paper with ‘his name is Harry’ on it in a delicate hand.
  • there it nothing else to be done, it seems. the officers take baby Harry, and leave.
  • one of them comes back a few days later for a follow-up interview with the woman who found the baby. she seems a little fragile, and her own baby, in the next room, keeps up a constant shrieking tantrum the whole time the officer is there. “I’m sorry,” the woman says, with a brittle smile. “this has all been a bit much. I recently lost my sister, you see.”

Keep reading


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic