#yeah what he said #time #Frozen #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #aging cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
“Our daughter seems to have been born with magical ice powers,” said the King of Arendelle.
“Looks like it,” said the queen. “I don’t know very much about how magical ice powers work, so unless you do, it’s probably time to do some research so we can go into this child-rearing project with a knowledge of what to teach her so she can wield them safely.”
“Good idea,” said the king. “I’ll go visit the trolls and see what they know, back in a few hours.”
~~~
“I recommend,” said the troll, examining the injured child while her sister and parents looked on, “we remove all magic, even memories of magic, to be safe. But don’t worry, I’ll leave the fun.”
“After this – procedure,” said the queen, “will seeing magic or hearing about it cause a relapse?”
“A relapse?” inquired the troll, finishing his work and looking up at the queen.
“For example, if she sees Elsa performing magic again in the future, will she pass out, or -”
“Oh. No, that won’t affect anything,” said the troll.
“Thank you very much,” the king said, and the family went home, where it was summarily explained to Anna exactly what treatment she had just undergone and why.
~~~
“We’ll lock the gates. We’ll reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone… including Anna,” said the king.
“What about the staff?” asked the queen. “We weren’t keeping Elsa’s powers a particular secret before today. They probably already know. If we dismiss them, word will certainly get out, even if it hasn’t already. Anyway, we can’t fire everyone. A household this size takes a lot of work unless you want to start washing your own socks.”
“…Good point,” said the king. “We’ll keep the full staff. I suppose having servants around might help keep Anna company when Elsa’s quarantined and we’re both busy with matters of state, anyway.”
“That too. Just imagine how neglectful it would be to shut Anna up in a house with nobody to talk to.”
~~~
“We’ll lock the gates. We’ll reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone… including Anna,” said the king.
“Lock the gates?” asked the queen. “You mean, keep Anna inside the palace? Why?”
“To keep the secret.”
“To keep a secret that Anna does not know, we lock her up? Elsa is a safety concern, but she’s obviously willing to stay in her room. Letting Anna go into town regularly endangers nothing.”
“That’s true,” acknowledged the king. “All right, we increase the guard around the corridor for Elsa’s room in case someone wanders by, under the pretense that we’re paranoid about protecting our heir; but there’s no reason to do anything about the actual gates.”
~~~
“Mom,” whined Anna, “why won’t Elsa play with me anymore?”
“It’s hard to say,” the queen hedged. “Why don’t you write her a letter and slip it under her door?”
“Okay,” said Anna, brightening, and thus began the long correspondence between the sisters. Mere paper, however water-damaged, did not pose Anna any threat.
~~~
“I know it’s not fair, Elsa,” said the king to his daughter, “but you have to work on controlling your powers, and sitting in your room all day, every day isn’t helping. Let’s pack you some camping gear and you can go up into Arendelle’s large quantities of easily accessible mountain wilderness to try using your abilities deliberately while there’s no one nearby to be in harm’s way. I’ll show you where the trolls live in case they have any help to offer.”
“Maybe,” said Elsa optimistically, “they’ll have useful things to say about how fear is my enemy or how love is the key!”
~~~
“Do you have to go?” Elsa asked her parents.
“Well, yes. I wonder if you should come,” mused the king. “After all, you’ll be queen, one day, and building relationships with other countries is important. The gloves have been helping, you don’t have to come out of your cabin on the boat, and if you’re not feeling up to it on the day of the wedding we can just say you’re sick.”
Elsa joined her parents on their way to her cousin’s wedding. There was some turbulence on the way home, calmed by Elsa’s ability to freeze and then telekinetically control arbitrary amounts of water, and the ship escaped with only minor cosmetic damage.
~~~
“Excuse me,” said Anna to the guard. “Open the gates for me.”
“But… but Princess,” said the guard. “They are to remain closed at all times.”
“The key word here,” said Anna, “is Princess. Royalty? Heir presumptive? Recently orphaned – did Elsa personally tell you to keep them closed? She’s the only person who outranks me.”
“Er,” stammered the guard, “not personally, as such.”
“Open. The. Gates.”
Out Anna went.
~~~
“Excuse me,” said Anna to the guard. “Open the gates for me.”
“But… but Princess,” said the guard. “They are to remain closed at all times.”
“…Okay,” Anna said, “where does our food and so on come from if they remain closed at all times?”
“Servant’s entrance and delivery gate ‘round back.”
“Okay!” said Anna cheerfully, and ‘round back and out she went.
I don’t know if this has already been done but~ I did it.
Tags:
#Welcome to Night Vale #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I’m currently three episodes behind) #(so I might be missing some specific context) #(but this is still hilarious) #(poor Cecil)
#oh look an original post #media I consumed primarily to know what all the fuss was about #that makes it sound like I didn’t enjoy it #I did enjoy it #it’s just that part of that enjoyment was from finally finding out the context for ‘I’m gonna tell him.’ ‘Don’t you dare!’ #(I was never seriously worried about Olaf’s well-being) #(I figured Elsa would use her ice magic to keep him alive when summer returned) #(and I was right) #Frozen
Brinens and Things 