A cliche honorable warrior race ala the klingons, except replace “warfare” with “cooking”. Still gruff and argumentative and quick to throw down, except their idea of throwing down requires them and their opponent to step into a kitchen and make the best goddamn pies they can as if their lives depend on it.
“Shepard, your pie crust is bland and tasteless. Only the krogans truly know the meaning of honor.”
Random worldbuilding time!
Their homeplanet of [SPECIES] is a world where nearly everything is incredibly toxic.
This is the result of an unusual accident of evolution, their homeworld was the sight of two separate lasting abiogenesis events. Both forms of life have biochemistries often highly toxic to the other. Somehow, this did not prevent endosymbiosis much like that which happened on Earth from occurring, and the symbiotes managed to tailor their processes and products to avoid poisoning each other. All complex life on their world is the result of this union.
However, this means that evolution has a ready made arsenal of toxins to deploy against other organisms by making slight alterations. Sometimes by selective pressure to avoid predation, sometimes by coincidence, most native lifeforms are toxic to most other native lifeforms. Consumers are highly specific to certain kinds of food, and as such tend to have very restricted ranges where they can live.
But not the [SPECIES], who as intelligent tool using beings, became nomads when they overpopulated their native range.
But their was a problem- there was little that they could eat in their new homes without careful preparation. A lot of trial and error went into food preparation, as not all toxins could be burned or washed or filtered away easily, and many were sacrificed for the “good of the tribe”. Chefs, those who prepared the food, became the most elite and celebrated members of the tribe, with advanced skill and knowledge of tricky detoxification methods. It was expected that most members of the tribe have some ability in this area, and it became a norm that everyone must be the first to try their own food. Poisoning was a relatively common cause of death.
“Cooking duels” to the death became a thing, where chefs fight for their honor by attempting to prepare some especially dangerous rare delicacy- which they must be the first to taste.
Over time more knowledge and technology made food production much simpler and less dangerous, but the traditions remained as [SPECIES] entered the industrial age and, eventually, traveled between stars for the first time.
And so: a society of angry, obsessive chefs IN SPACE.
…
(I have no idea how plausible or coherent this is I was bored)
Tags:
#story ideas I will never write #food #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #(this post didn’t especially bother me) #(but I thought people who were familiar with my tagging system and had similar issues might be blacklisting that tag) #death tw
Colgate Kids strawberry toothpaste: a reasonably strawberry-ish shade of red, tastes like Vaguely Fruity Artificial Flavouring. (If you’ve ever had Hawaiian Punch, it’s kind of like that.)
Colgate Kids watermelon toothpaste: fucking turquoise, tastes unnervingly like watermelon. (Brain: “This has no juice, but it tastes like watermelon. Does not compute.”)
A bit of a shame they can’t get both things right at once, but hey, both of them areactually tolerable to use, unlike other mainstream toothpastes. A few years ago, somebody finally decided to fill the market niche for “people who can’t stand Painfully Cold Mint or Sickeningly Sweet Bubblegum, but want fluoridated toothpaste”. I had to make do with organic, non-fluoridated toothpaste for my entire childhood, sometimes mail-ordering it or switching between brands because the local grocery and department stores could never decide whether they were going to carry the stuff or not. It’s nice to finally have reliable, fluoridated toothpaste.
Tags:
#this post not sponsored or endorsed by Colgate #there is a certain twisted gratification in being considered worth marketing to #plus you get to have toothpaste #(now if only we could get some competition in the light tampon market) #(I have to buy my tampons from a monopoly because Tampax Pearl is the only line that can be arsed to make tampons in the right size) #oh look an original post
I spent so much fucking time trying to figure out how to translate eat me to make this joke and it probably isn’t even correct don’t look at me
Tags:
#language #food #puns #(I have absolutely no idea whether the translation is correct but I appreciate the effort) #Pi Day #now if you’ll excuse me I need to go eat some pie
yesterday this girl in my academic writing class sits down next to me and puts 3 bananas on the desk (which was jarring by itself) and i had two bananas in my backpack so i wanted to see if she would notice if i added those to her banana pile when she wasn’t looking and when she finally looked back at the bananas she sighed and said really quietly to herself “oh my god…i have so many…” and put all five of them in her backpack
I feel like this is a perfect vignette of Caribbean life
Tags:
#food #arguably a postscript to the previous pair of posts
wen u have a $100 gift card 2 da ethiopian supermarket
Tags:
#food #paired post #(I’m never sure what order to do paired posts in) #(I’m doing them chronologically here because I personally read my dash in chronological order) #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
Holy shit, why did I not buy No Name knockoff Thin Mints sooner?
They’re better than Girl Guide cookies (none of that Oreo-like cream bullshit), and very nearly as good as Girl *Scout* cookies.
(Not sure why they’re square, but hey.)
Tags:
#oh look an original post #I’m saving most of them for use in my birthday pseudo-cake #but I tried one first to check if they were good enough #yes. yes they are. #(I didn’t intend for this to be part of the post-election emigration discourse) #(but it occurs to me one could interpret it that way) #(come to the Canadian side we have cookies) #bluespace #maybe? I never thought of my counter as Tumblr-coloured before but it’s kind of similar when seen side-by-side #food #our home and cherished land
#anniversaries #(a day late but I only just saw this) #Tumblr traditions #wait does this actually predate Tumblr? #*looks at Wikipedia* #technically no (that was Feb 2007) but it probably still predates Tumblr getting popular
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 