I’ve been reading worm discourse for what, 5 years? 6? 7? and anyway I’ve only just figured out that Taylor and Skitter are supposed to be the same person
I’ve been reading worm discourse for what, 5 years? 6? 7? and anyway I’ve only just figured out that Taylor and Skitter are supposed to be the same person
Tags:
#Wildbow #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #embarrassment squick #(personally I’ve never read Worm and learned pretty fast that Taylor and Skitter are the same person) #(but I might have just happened to read the right posts)
is there anything more awkward than looking back at your childhood at innocent interactions you had with other kids and thinking “oh…. wow. that was uhhh definitely their early exploration of a fetish, wasn’t it?”
I’m also remembering a lot of games with one particular friend who always found reasons why her character should be tied up. I didn’t mind, because it meant I got to play the Noble Knight Who Rescues The Princess™️ AND the mustache-twirling villain, but it always pissed me off when we paused the game and she would still pretend that she was actually stuck and would fake-struggle for like ten minutes against the most half-hearted jump rope tied in a bow around her arms. Please, knock it off, I just want to go to lunch.
Villain: “Can you PLEASE just ride off into the sunset together already?”
Knight: “You’re just letting us go? What’s the catch, blackguard?”
Villain: “No catch. Kidnapping the princess was just supposed to be a distraction while I executed my REAL plan. I did not expect this to take so long and now the window of opportunity has closed… a whole day, wasted.”
Hero: “Look. I am TRYING to rescue her. She just… well.”
Princess: “Ha ha oh nooo it looks like these ropes just wrapped around me somehow… I’m hopelessly trapped…”
Villain: “Ma’am. Your Highness. That’s the power cord to my Xbox.”
Princess: “And it’s getting tighter! Oh no!”
Knight: “I’m sort of uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable?”
Villain: “Yeah… I know I technically initiated this entire scenario but I’m starting to feel… used, somehow. Like. It doesn’t feel professional.”
Princess: [sarcastically] “Is someone baking a cake?”
Knight: “No?”
Princess: “Huh. Weird. ‘Cause I could swear I smell the overpowering aroma of vanillain this room.”
The games themselves (probably? hopefully?) weren’t recognizably sexual—just early fixations upon things or ideas that seemed maybe a little weird or exasperating at the time if you didn’t share that fascination, but which in retrospect were almost certainly the unrealized roots of your playmate’s later sexual preferences.
It is a bit disturbing to realize that you had some kind of role in developing their, uh, proclivities, but it’s not like Little Jimmy could have meaningfully articulated why he always insisted on the rule that everyone had to take off their shoes to play tag, or known that it would creep his friends out ten years later once he realized he had a foot fetish. It’s awkward but—so long as the games didn’t result in something traumatic—ultimately sort of an unavoidable embarrassment of youth to look back and go, “Oh, that’s what that was…. 😬”
I was reading Perv by Jesse Bering (which in general is only so-so; not enough discussion of the research IMO), and he points out that, where kinks can be traced to a formative experience in childhood, this formative experience often comes well before puberty, like anywhere from five to ten–which is super awkward, because for many reasons our culture likes to draw a bright, clear dividing line between childhood and adulthood, and where that’s not possible, at least between childhood and adolescence. But that’s not always possible! And given how much of human psychology is dominated by romance and physical attraction, it would be weird if that system of the brain didn’t exist some unformed, incipient manner, but sprang into existence suddenly on our 13th birthday or w/e.
I have spoken to a lot of kinky people about this. In my experience, about 50% are like “yeah, in retrospect I was an extremely kinky eight-year-old, not that I had any understanding of any of this at the time.” In other words, I am the playmate here and I apologize to my cub scout troop.
Did the many kinky people you’ve talked to fall into distinct camps of “yeah, in retrospect my insistence on getting my acquaintances to play with me in certain very particular ways was Meaningful” vs “yeah, in retrospect my insistence on *freaking the fuck out* at acquaintances who happened to play in certain very particular ways in my presence was Meaningful”? If so, are there other clear distinctions between said camps?
Whenever I hear stories about childhood selves who don’t know they’re kinky and unwittingly erotic games, the young kinksters are always the ones *instigating* the games. But I was the exact opposite of this! Long before I had any idea why, I knew down in my bones that this was something *important* and *profound* and *private*, and I couldn’t stand to see people taking it lightly and without regard for whether anyone was watching.
(“It’s just a game,” said the girls confused about why I was upset by one of them pretending to hypnotise the other, and they were more confused when that only upset me further. It isn’t *just* anything.)
Don’t get me wrong, I played plenty of in-hindsight-sexual games as a child. But they were always, *always* alone and in private (to the extent that a child can arrange for privacy). (…and would you look at that, I grew up into an asexual adult who finds casual sex extremely unappealing. I feel like these facts might be related, but I have so little data.)
—
(I worry about the people who think that the senses of importance and privacy people have around sex are invariably *learned*, that they are a collective trauma that we as a society should work to grow past.
I know some people actually do feel deep down like it’s not a big deal, even in spite of having been taught otherwise. And I know vanilla people can’t control for knowledge, can’t see into what “a version of themselves who hadn’t been taught anything at all about how to interpret their desires” would be like. But I can, and I know that I could never have been good enough for them.)
Tags:
#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #my childhood #embarrassment squick #rape tw
A short list of things that probably would be funny to humans in any time ever:
objects shaped like dicks
funky dances
dancing badly to bangin music
dogs being stupid (we’ve had those idiots domesticated for 30,000 years)
teenage boys being stupid
slapstick
that video where the guy is singing/chanting while bouncing on a tree branch and it abruptly breaks under him
that video where two guys are trying to get their phone out from behind a fence with sticks and one loses his stick so the other climbs the fence, gets the stick, and ignores the phone
literally any video with animals acting like people
Now what I need is like a bunch of memes and funny shit arranged on a timeline showing the earliest time period where they would be funny/understandable.
Obviously you’d have a lot that’s based on really recent pop culture references, but by like, 2,000 BC…a lot of tropes our stories still use have been established, there are stringed instruments, people have pet cats and dogs…so much would be familiar you know…Ancient Egyptians would love funny cat compilations and you know this is the case and they would probably love the videos of people playing guitars for pleased or unimpressed pets.
I know it’s 2020 but Merlin AU where Uther notices a bunch of problems that could only be solved by magic ~spontaneously~ getting solved around Arthur, and concludes that this must be a side effect of Arthur only existing due to magical intervention. An intense bigotry-versus-parental-love internal conflict commences, followed by some that’s-pretty-hypocritcal-of-you-isn’t-it-dad screaming external conflict, generally upending everything. Merlin is standing in the corner the entire time holding a serving jug of mead and sweating.
Morgana, dramatically slamming open the throne room doors with both arms: I’M ALSO UNWILLINGLY MAGIC. Arthur: What???? Morgana, raising one fist at him: Solidarity, motherFUCKER! Arthur:What????????
What’s Uther gonna do? What’s he gonna fucking do???? Execute his secret Scottish child, but not his nonsecret blond heir child??? They’re ganging up on him now. He’s fucking cornered.
At some point someone mentions that an eyewitness would be great. And they all realize that Merlin is persent for all these things and start asking Merlin what it looks like when Arthur performs these magical feats. And he’s half way through the royal mead so fuck it. And he starts talking about how Arthur glows and shit. And usually Merlin has to knock him on the head to get him to stop glowing and whooshing and what not and the idea that Merlin could be saving the prince from his own magical distraction is so absurd they decide it’s just a drunk idiot telling tales.
Merlin, really getting into this: It was to save you from your own magic, sire. I had no other choice. That’s… That’s what you do, you see a born sorcerer and you just wham, knock them out for their own good.
Morgana, thinking about her sleeping draughts: It’s true Arthur that’s what they do.
Arthur: I’m.
Morgana: But it’s fine look we just have to win Merlin over to the side of magic.
Merlin: …
Merlin: I don’t know guys, that’s going to be a tough sell.
Merlin: I just. I just don’t know if I could be persuaded.
Arthur: Merlin, you aren’t even from Camelot. Why would you have anti-magic biases.
Merlin: But you’re always so insistent magic is eeeevil.
Merlin: Maybe you should persuade me. Tell me what’s so great about sorcerers.
Merlin blatantly and magically refills the jug with more mead: What? Why’d you stop? Keep talking about how great sorcerers are Arthur. Come on now, you were just getting to the good parts.
Merlin, getting irritated after Arthur splutters for several minutes, gesturing with the jug: Look, there’s no need to be modest! Say that sorcerers are brilliant and amazing and have myriad skills and cheekbones you can etch glass with.
Arthur turning red because he still thinks they’re talking about him:
Morgana, tossing her hair: Thank you, Merlin. Your non-magical cheekbones are very nice too.
#it got better #BBC Merlin #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #story ideas I will never write #fanfic #embarrassment squick #god this is so in-character though #100% the sort of thing this show would do
I know it’s 2020 but Merlin AU where Uther notices a bunch of problems that could only be solved by magic ~spontaneously~ getting solved around Arthur, and concludes that this must be a side effect of Arthur only existing due to magical intervention. An intense bigotry-versus-parental-love internal conflict commences, followed by some that’s-pretty-hypocritcal-of-you-isn’t-it-dad screaming external conflict, generally upending everything. Merlin is standing in the corner the entire time holding a serving jug of mead and sweating.
Morgana, dramatically slamming open the throne room doors with both arms: I’M ALSO UNWILLINGLY MAGIC. Arthur: What???? Morgana, raising one fist at him: Solidarity, motherFUCKER! Arthur:What????????
What’s Uther gonna do? What’s he gonna fucking do???? Execute his secret Scottish child, but not his nonsecret blond heir child??? They’re ganging up on him now. He’s fucking cornered.
A new Star Trek series but 90% of the dramatic tension comes from each of the characters believing themselves to be the Outsider archetype.
If YOU’RE the new Spock, and I’M the new Data, and HE’s the new Seven of Nine, and SHE’S the new Odo, and THEY’RE also the new Spock…. then who’s piloting the ship?!
And then when the bog standard Relatable Everyman character joins the cast he realizes that HE is now the awkward Outside archetype who makes humorous social miscalculations.
I can’t stress enough that the narrative must not present the Relatable Everyman as a relatable everyman. He is not the audience proxy, the de facto protagonist, OR the token normie. He is the Outsider and he is presented as such, and he gets special bittersweet episodes dedicated to exploring his attempts to figure out his place in his community.
‘Relatable Everyman’ doesn’t come on until S4, and all their attempts at humor and flirting and friendship making are jarring and confusing and uncomfortable. Their jokes don’t seem to land. All their social norms get chucked out the window. They spend a lot of time confused and alone until the benevolent crew deigns to try and teach the Everyman how to fit in.
I also want to emphasize that Mr. Everyman isn’t treated as a joke. He isn’t just some pathetic doofus among impressive titans who ends up the butt of every joke. The narrative must have genuine compassion for him and present his struggles with sympathy and optimism. His social accomplishments are celebrated but assimilation should not be the ultimate goal of his character arc; for as much as his differences cause pain and humor and complications, the crew comes to accept and appreciate that his uniqueness is valuable in its own way. Every now and then he has a particular quality that helps to save the day, but ultimately Mr. Everyman is part of the family and forcing him to change would be unthinkable.
1. Everyone on the ship engages in perfectly normal levels of social activity, which is to say, they work together and then they retreat to their quarters after work for solitary pursuits, or get together for one-on-one interaction, like playing a board game, because in the future everyone loves board games. The Neurotypical Outsider (NTO), an extrovert, tries desperately to get everyone together to play a game and is always trying to spend time with everyone off duty. Everyone politely blows them off because that level of social neediness is kind of embarrassing. The NTO shows signs of being deeply unhappy, maybe even depressed. The ship’s doctor discovers that extroverts literally require the presence of social interaction with others almost constantly to support their mental health. No one wants their friend to suffer, so they apologize for how they’ve been blowing off the NTO and agree that they will get together for a weekly board game as a group, and that everyone will try to spend at least half an hour socially interacting with the NTO after work every day. Also, the mysterious comet turns out to be a generation ship from an ancient race of aliens.
2. On a diplomatic mission, the aliens serve the crew a food containing a substance that is bitter to humans. The autistic human refuses to eat it on the grounds that it tastes awful, but the NTO bravely chokes it down and pretends to like it. The autistic human does not understand how this is possible and questions it, leading to the NTO admitting that they lied. Danger! It turns out that on this world, lying is a crime punishable by death! The NTO pleads that they were just trying to be polite, that where they come from refusing someone’s hospitality or admitting that their food is awful is incredibly rude. The crew present character witnesses of what a great person the NTO is and how they’ve been such a good friend and helpful crewmate. The aliens admit that they have never encountered the concept before of someone lying for the benefit of others; on their world lying is always assumed to be malicious and intended for selfish gain at others’ expense. The captain gives a beautiful speech about how every culture in this universe is different and we must make allowances for the differences of others in order to find wonderful friendships. The NTO is released. Everyone has learned an important lesson today. Also, the problem with the warp core is discovered to be caused by space squirrels that phase in and out of reality.
3. The NTO’s parents are diplomats and the ship is tasked with taking them to a conference. It turns out that they are even more extroverted than the NTO, loud-mouthed to the point where they freak out the autistic human who has perfectly normal sound sensitivities, who shouts at them in response and then they yell at the autistic human for shouting at them and cause a meltdown. They are vaguely racist to the Vulcan, condescendingly tolerant to the android, and outright blatantly racist to the ex-Borg. The NTO tries desperately to play all this off as if it’s harmless jokes or ignorance because the NTO loves their parents and does not want to suffer their disapproval, but is in truth utterly sickened by it. Finally the NTO musters up the courage to challenge their parents and tell them how obnoxious they are being and how they do not approve of this treatment of their crewmates and friends. This is as they reach the conference planet, so the parents flounce off in a flurry of “well I nevers” and entitled anger. This makes the NTO miserable, even though they know they did the right thing by standing up to their parents. Then the parents call from the planet to apologize for their behavior, but it turns out, they still have no concept of what they did wrong– they assume the problem is that the NTO has to work with “these people” so of course has to stand up for them because it’s not like Starfleet lets its officers pick their own ships, and they totally don’t get that the NTO was genuinely offended on their friends’ behalf. However, the NTO accepts this apology and doesn’t challenge it because they want their parents’ approval. Then they feel guilty, but the other members of the crew reassure them that they understand, because they are Starfleet officers and thus contractually obligated to have terrible relationships with their own parents. The episode ends with the crew telling the NTO amusing anecdotes about their own conflicts with their parents. Also, the aliens who have been trying to shoot the ship down as it goes to the conference location turn out to be highly advanced energy beings who were just testing the Federation’s commitment to peace.
Tags:
#autism #story ideas I will never write #Star Trek #embarrassment squick #fanfic #oh look an update
AU where Zuko realises very early into his banishment that he’s been sent on a hopeless goose chase and, actually, he doesn’t want to return to the oppressive Fire Nation and his abusive father. And he sticks with this decision even after Aang wakes up from the iceberg
Except then Aang meets Zuko – probably when Zuko jumps in to save someone, because his sense of justice is too strong to just sit back while someone is hurt, even if he is trying to remain apolitical – and his brain goes “!!!!” Because that’s a good firebender. They do exist. And now Aang knows someone who can teach him firebending without trying to kill him
Except Zuko wants nothing to do with the Avatar. He especially doesn’t want to get entangled with his father’s war. So the rest of the season is about Zuko running from the Avatar, and Aang and co trying to capture the reluctant ex-Prince of the Fire Nation so he can be Aang’s firebending teacher
The Gaang ends up stopping by the tea shop one time not realizing it’s Zuko and Iroh’s ship and spot Zuko but Zuko is like “this is the busiest time of day on our busiest days at one of the busiest ports. I do NOT have time for this.” So he plays dumb. Like really dumb.
Toph, who knows he’s lying but is an agent of chaos: Lee? I remember you! You came to visit my town a few times. Do you still carry that lovely Jasmine tea?
Katara: Toph isn’t your town landlocked?
Toph: Yes, your point?
Katara: This tea shop is a giant naval vessel??
Zuko, panicking: THIS VESSEL CAN FLY
Toph: Yes, exactly.
Sokka: …Katara, let it go. Let’s just get our tea and get out of here before Aang finds out that–
Aang, sprinting over to them: ZUKO?
Toph, without missing a beat: No, this is Lee, humble tea server who got his scar in a wild tea accident.
Aang: What? No it’s not, it’s–
Toph: I can tell when people are lying Aang. Are you calling me a liar?
Tags:
#Avatar: The Last Airbender #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #embarrassment squick #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend? Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet? Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing- Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way
Tags:
#embarrassment squick #death tw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Halloween
Brinens and Things 