She doesn’t know it yet, but she will soon. You see, the midterm paper on calls for students to write a collection evaluation for a library of our choosing. Now, I know that when she said that library does not need to be real, she meant that we didn’t need to pick a specific one. But what I heard was…
For those of you requesting the full paper, I’ll see what I can do once I get the grade back!
I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED
For the sake of this evaluation, only the official, present collection of the Unseen University will be examined. Collections belonging to other libraries that are accessible via L-Space will be considered as part of the Interlibrary Loan System, as will materials available by time-travel and other such means.
Relatedly:
Whether or not acquiring books that have not yet been written is a violation of copyright law has yet to be legally clarified, but faculty and students should not expect to be permitted to cite them in their own work (see also Library Rule 3: Do Not Interfere With The Nature Of Causality).
Listen, I hear what you’re saying, but Young Sam being the deadly combo of his mother’s powerful Ladies Who Organize tendencies, and his father’s stubborn anti-authority pragmatism makes him an ideal community organizer. He’s cheerful and unflagging and drinks coffee at a rate that would impress even Maladict; he has a dartsboard in his office with an iconograph of Lord Downey II pinned to it, and when asked his response is invariably a chilly, “he knows what he did.”
When you look deeply in his eyes you can see the abyss looking back.
(It wants to know if you’ve signed that petition yet.)
Terry Pratchett’s books usually include a cornucopia* of puns, which is part of the attraction of reading them. However, these puns often depend on the intricacies of the English language, making them damn near impossible to translate into other languages.
This makes it all the more surprising (and gratifying) to discover that the French translation of the Discworld novel Hogfather includes a delightful additional linguistic pun, involving Mr. Teatime’s name – one that only works in French, no less.
Honestly, for a criminal in Ankh-Morpork, being pursued by Samuel Vimes must be TERRIFYING Just imagine:
You’re walking in the Shades. There’s no one around and your gang is gone. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him: Samuel Vimes.
He’s following you, about thirty feet back. He gets out of the shadows and breaks into a sprint He’s gaining on you! Samuel Vimes.
You’re looking for your gang but you’re all turned around He’s almost upon you now and you can see there’s blood on his face My Gods, there’s blood everywhere!
Running from Commander Samuel Vimes He’s brandishing his badge it’s Samuel Vimes Lurking in the shadoooows! His Grace the Duke of Ankh Samuel Vimes Patrolling the streets (Samuel Vimes) Solving all crimes (Samuel Vimes) Arresting the guiltyyyy
Actual By-The-Book Samuel Vimes!
Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him but you’re hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with the Blackboard Monitor! You creep silently through the streets
Aha! In the distance! An old safehouse of your gang friends! Hope! You move stealthily toward it… but your scent! Ah! It’s caught by a werewolf!
Covering your tracks (Quiet, quiet) Sneaking to the safehouse (Quiet, quiet) Now you’re on the doorstep Sitting inside: Samuel Vimes
Lighting a Cigar (Samuel Vimes) He’s coming to arrest you (Samuel Vimes) You’re taking out your weapooon Threatening Commander Samuel Vimes
Moving in to fight with Samuel Vimes Get kicked in the crotch by Samuel Vimes Puking on the floooor Arrested by Samuel Vimes!
You limp into the dark streets Handcuffs tight around your wrists And he has won; you’ve been beaten by Samuel Vimes.
It’s a reference to this song. Which is, incidentally, hilarious.
Tags:
#Discworld #music #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #it probably says something about just how long I’ve been on Tumblr #that I knew immediately what song this was referencing #Shia Labeouf #vomit mention
Ever since reading Jingo, I’ve been wondering what happened in the other leg of the trousers of Time.
All we really know is that the Klatchians attack Ankh-Morpork, take the city, and a bunch of people die.
Carrot dies. Littlebottom dies. Reg Shoe dies…more, or again, or something. Dorfl and Detritus both die, within minutes of each other, which makes me reallycurious about what kind of firepower the other guys had. Vimes dies.
Vetinari presumably gets killed or captured, which means captured, which means he’s fine. And pity the poor invaders who have to occupy a city that contains Sybil Ramkin. I can never keep track of what order the books happen in, but if Moist was in the city when the army was arriving he proceeded to manage not to be. The wizards will notice that the city fell when they miss the next daily delivery of a week’s worth of food.
The thing is, though, this isn’t all that destabilizing. I mean, mass death, bad, but the city has a procedure for this. When the bodies have been carted away and buried or tossed in the Ankh to make it that much cleaner, the first Morporkian voice you hear belongs to the most Morporkian person there is.
“Meat pies! Sausage inna bun! Hot dogs! Onna stick!”
Because when the invaders are battering down the walls, you open the doors and sell them things and before you know it they’re as Morporkian as you are. There’s most of a national anthem about it. Ankh-Morpork the province of Klatch is going to be worse than before. Most of the Watch and a lot of bystanders are dead, and Vetinari can’t keep the Guilds handled until he gets back in power. But it’s still Ankh-Morpork. And even with half our favorite characters gone, well, the Turtle moves.
you know a fantasy character who would enthusiastically wear a pair of those weird toe-shoes?
Sam Vimes
Oh my god oh my god but imagine how excited he would be – He runs home one day from work, practically skipping – Sybil looks up from the dragon she’s checking and says “You look happy dear. Which lord has died now?” “Darling-” he replies, with the glint in his eye usually only found during rooftop chases, “Now even my little toes can tell what street I’m on”
Oh & he’d start wearing them to work and maybe some of the younger recruits would mock him but Carrot would overhear them and then before you know it it’s compulsory for every watchman to own and wear a pair of toe shoes on patrol
And the city criminals find it absolutely hilarious until they suddenly realise that watchman in toe-shoes are a whole lot quieter when sneaking up behind you on a cold, dark night than watchman in sandals.
And maybe some of the more delusional Ankhian aristocrats would start wearing them because they think they’re ‘in’ and it would really annoy Vimes because why would you need toe-shoes when all you do is sit around all day anyway? And one day he makes the mistake of complaining about non-watchman wearing them to Vetinari and so Vetinari gets his own pair made entirely in black and then suddenly the whole city is wearing them
And then one evening as they nod off in armchairs in front of the fire Vimes complains about this accidental fad he started to Sybil and she replies “Well, you are very powerful, dear” and all she gets in response is Vimes’ voice, muttered and slightly disgruntled, saying “No one should be that powerful”
#Discworld #it occurred to me this afternoon #that this is the first Glorious Twenty-Fifth to be #you know #after #I didn’t mind the sprig of lilac on my hip so much after that #(I dislike the scent but it is traditional) #(and some of the branches of my neighbour’s lilac tree hang over the property line) #GNU Terry Pratchett
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