discourse cw

I Am Depressed And Need To Argue About Something

~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

{{previous post in sequence}}

sinesalvatorem:

I am feeling low-key suicidal (In the sense of “I would like to die” rather than “I expect to kill myself”. I have high self-control.) and need to distract myself from how awful being alive is. The best distraction that was recommended to me was passionately arguing about something.

As such, I am appealing to Tumblr to send me asks, or reblog this post, with questions about controversial subjects, unpopular opinions, blatant edge-lordery, links to terrible (but reasonably short) Tumblr posts, or anything else that could put me in a fiery state of “someone is Wrong on the Internet”.

I may not be able to reply to All The Things, because bad brains, and my responses may be poor-quality or not endorsed by sane!Alison, but I will feel better while writing what I can.

If you can’t think of anything (you don’t need to reply with anything good, but if you still can’t) but would like to help, reblogging this post at all increases the likelihood that someone will want to edge-lord in my direction.

(Oh, and sending my complimentary asks (even without anything to argue about) helps a lot.)

 

thatismyright:

Claims that public (non-nude) kink is unethical or immoral are stupid purity instincts and have no connection to real consequences. I don’t care if you think that “you’re part of my scene and don’t consent to it”; that’s a fact about your state of mind, not about a state of reality, and my and my sub’s right to do what we want trumps your desire not to be uncomfortable.

 

sinesalvatorem:

…I think I agree with this, actually? IDK if it’s just the fact that I lack purity instincts and can’t properly understand the people who have them, but this seems really reasonable to me and always has.

If something seemed perfectly OK (if quaint) to you when you didn’t know the motivation for it was sexual, it does not become bad upon you learning that it is, in fact, sexual. The goodness or badness of an action is separate from it’s intentions and motivation. It’s about consequences. If wearing a collar as a fashion statement is OK (because it harms no one), then doing so because it turns you on is no better or worse.

Why do people oppose this, anyway? Followers with purity instincts? Followers who agree regardless of squick reactions? Followers who disagree but know how to steelman it? What exactly is going on here?

 

brin-bellway:

This is going to sound weird, please bear with me, but the main reason I value my discomfort around public sexual acts (for broad definitions of such) is precisely because I don’t have an explanation behind it.

Okay, look. I often worry that I don’t have any moral sense of my own, that I only do what I do and think what I think because I have been told to do and think these things. I mean, how could I tell whether a belief in something’s wrongness is really mine or just someone else’s? I can trace nearly everything back to people telling me what to think; maybe I would have thought that way anyway, maybe I wouldn’t. Who can say?

Note that word. Nearly everything.

Because then I look back, and I see a girl, perhaps nine or ten years old. Her Girl Scout meeting has just ended, and the kids are passing the time while they wait for their parents to come pick them up. One of the others pulls a yo-yo out of her bag and swings it in front of another kid’s face. She intones “You are getting veeery sleeepyyy…”

Our protagonist yells at them. “Don’t do that! It’s wrong!”

Kid 3 (the one watching the yo-yo): “Why?”

Kid 2 (the one holding it): “It’s not like I’m really hypnotizing her. It’s just a game.”

She can’t explain why it’s wrong. She doesn’t know. There’s just something in her, bone-deep, visceral, screaming protest at this situation. Can’t they hear the alarm bells going off in their heads?

(Maybe they can’t. The other children’s thought processes are often alien. Perhaps this is just another instance.)

—

Nobody told that girl to believe that it was wrong. Nobody had even given her enough information to extrapolate that it was wrong. (It will be several more years before she learns about hypnosis fetishism, before she learns that the word she was looking for here was “indecent”.) But she thought it was wrong anyway.

That girl is still part of me. She was clearly not entirely lacking in innate moral sense, and by extension neither am I.

Now, I’m not saying that we as a society should all abide by my moral sense. I mean, if nothing else I can’t think of a way of making it practical. It’s all very well for me to avoid doing erotic things in public and avoid spectating when other people do unintentionally erotic things in public (and I do try to), but what about…if I understood correctly, you yourself recently said you tend to pick up any kink you learn about. How are people like that supposed to get by in the world? The set of things they’re allowed to do would be ever more limited.

So, I agree to let people do public sexual acts, but I do it grudgingly. I don’t really want to be okay with it. Not being okay with it is something I can point to as unambiguously myself, and I do not have enough of those to spare.

P.S. I’m curious, on what grounds do you carve out an exception for nudity-involving things in the “public kink is okay” view? What makes nudity less okay than anything else?

 

sinesalvatorem:

This is very fascinating and cool. Thank you.

In terms of the things related to me:

I do, in fact, pick up pretty much any kink I have sufficient exposure to. This does not at all make it harder to get by. My natural state (sans- brain mods) is asexual, and sufficiently so that I have no visceral reactions or associations with sex. System one believes sexual activity is just the sum of its parts, with no particular significance for being sex.

Also, when I started modifying in the direction of allosexuality, being-disgusted-by-indecency seemed like a wholly sub-optimal trait to have. So I never added it to myself. As such, I will never understand what other people find so weird about a public D/s scene.

I personally wouldn’t make an exception for nudity. I would prefer to live in a world where public nudity was OK; just on the basis that I might, at some point, not want to bother with clothing; while there’s zero downside to me if other people do the same. I used to argue about this as basic liberty thing. However, at this point, I have accepted that every other human being is sufficiently insane that this would probably not be feasible.

 

ozymandias271:

I think it is wrong to do public sex acts that other people will perceive as being sex acts. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with subtle public D/s, fucking in public places you’re unlikely to get caught in, or wearing lingerie under your clothes because it turns you on to do so. But there is something wrong with slapping your partner’s face, fucking on the train, or similar. 

Imagine Alice, who loves public sex, and Bob, who is disgusted by seeing closed-mouth kissing. In a lot of circumstances, they can just go to different places– if Bob goes to the kink event, it is kind of his own fault. But there are other spaces, like the train, where people with a wide variety of preferences meet. The obvious way to do this rule is “Alice and Bob can both do whatever they like on the train”. The problem with that is that every public space now follows Alice’s preferences and none of them follow Bob’s, which is tremendously unfair to Bob, because now he can’t use the train without being upset. So instead we come up with compromise rules: Alice can mostly only do things that don’t upset Bob, and Bob has to avert his eyes when people are doing closed-mouth kissing.

 

sinesalvatorem:

But why draw the line there? Why not be more permissive or more restrictive? Or is it just “the current set of values we have is a Schelling point and we shouldn’t try to mess with it too much”?

 

ozymandias271:

I mean, AFAIK very few people want to have public sex and cannot have their desires fulfilled by fucking in the bathroom or in a sex party, and most people do not wish to see others having public sex, so that’s a rule I’m p comfortable with. Similarly, it seems like a bad precedent to require people to not do behaviors no one can tell they’re doing, so I’m p comfortable with subtle public D/s. 

I can see reasonable disagreement around the acceptability of PDAs in general (I’m pro-PDA but willing to be convinced) and around the acceptability of kinky PDAs (for the same reason that I can hold hands with two partners in public, a woman should be allowed to call her partner “mistress” in public). 

 

tartapplesauce:

The appeal of public sexual acts is their transgressiveness and the outrage they evoke in the mundanes.  After all, if you’re not breaking boundaries, you’re not pushing limits, so what’s the point?

Your thrill depends in large part on imagining my shock/horror/disgust and the patting yourself on the back over how much more liberated and free and natural and open to pleasure you are than repressed prudes like me.

(You have no idea what kind of filthy kink is in my head, you’re going by your idea of what I’m like by my external appearance).

That means that, without my consent, I am being made part of your game.  And if I don’t want to play, I don’t get a choice or the chance to refuse.  And you’re not playing in private, because you need to evoke a reaction from me so you have to show as much as you can get away with, without being arrested.

Even if I’m not morally opposed, or I am morally opposed but agree you’re entitled to go to hell in your own way, or I am not shocked/horrified/disgusted but simply bored or eye-rolling about “Dammit, all I wanted was to get home and decompress on the bus journey or walk home after my crappy day”, I still get your idea of fun shoved in my face.

Just as a bunch of drunken guys may be having a great time yelling and shouting and messing about, but it’s less fun for the sober people around them, then you and your partner may be having a fine time fucking like dogs in public or showing off your D/s credentials or whatever, but that does not mean I get the same enjoyment.

And since this is a public space, so nobody has a greater entitlement to it than another, the rule is compromise: the least annoying thing for the greatest number.

So you turn down your music if it’s leaking through your headphones on public transport rather than swearing at and threatening violence to the person who asks you to turn it down.

And you don’t fuck where people are watching, unless they’re all there by invitation and/or have consented beforehand or at the very least know what’s going to be going on.

It’s common courtesy, consideration, politeness, civilisation.

 

notyourbusinessanyway:

People who likes to make sex in public spaces are thrilled by the chances of being caught, but not always by the actual fact of being caught. Most of them freak out if they actually are. They like the idea, but not the fact. You know, it’s like BDSM. It is a performance. There are very few people who love to perform as a sex slave that would like the idea of being an actual sex slave. So if you see people having sex in a public place it’s not that they like to shock you, they don’t mind you, they’re too focused on themselves to actually know about you. That’s why drunken sex on the beach is so profitable to thieves. The witness is not part of the pleasure. The witness is totally out of the picture. If they were so turned on by the idea of people looking at them, they will pay attention and realize that the peeping-tom is not just looking, but fucking stealing they i-phones.

So it’s not about kinks, it’s about lack of good manners and/or intoxication. Like urinating in front of people. It’s not that they love to do it, they do it because they’re too wasted and don’t fucking care.

But what was the main post about? I remember something about “don’t do unrelated things that I find alluring in front of me because it’s obscene”. Well, no. You find it obscene, it’s your problem. If you’re turned on by feet, don’t tell me not to show my toes, my toes are mine and it’s not me who has the problem. Learn how to control yourself. It’s like that tale about Muhammad talking to a girl and the disciple looking at her tits like a pervert. He pushed the disciple’s face aside: it was his fault, not hers. And we’re talking about tits, body parts that most people will find alluring, not kinky stuff. So, if even a religious major figure from the sixth century agree with the “if you’re horny it’s you who’s got the problem, not us” thing, maybe it’s not as progressive as it seems. It’s common sense.

‘But what was the main post about? I remember something about “don’t do
unrelated things that I find alluring in front of me because it’s
obscene”.’

Really? The main post certainly doesn’t say that (the OP doesn’t mention sex at all), and the only thing like that I see anywhere in this reblog-chain is me describing the thought processes of a freaked-out ten-year-old running on instinct. @sinesalvatorem asked her followers what it’s like having a purity instinct, so I told her. As far as I can tell, nobody actually endorsed making people stop doing unrelated things that someone around them happens to find alluring.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #I *knew* I shouldn’t have posted on the pick-a-fight-with-me thread #I thought I had been clear enough that I was only here to provide information and not to join the argument #but apparently not

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THE ULTIMATE ANSWER TO WHETHER OR NOT BREASTS ARE SEXUAL ORGANS

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

justice-turtle:

swoobats:

kaitlifts:

khaleesi-lifts:

Do they produce haploid gametes (either sperm or ovum) that can fuse to ultimately form an embryo? No.
Do they transport gametes? No.
Do they house the fetus during pregnancy? No.
Are they involved in the reproductive system of mammals? No.
Well what do you know, looks like they aren’t fucking sexual organs.

I know that a few of you might need to read this, just for clarification.

omg can you imagine a baby growing in a boob

twins

Milk creation isn’t involved in reproduction?

(That’s not even getting into the assumption that “sexual organ” means “reproductive organ”, when the people this is aimed at are probably using it to mean something more like “erogenous zone”.)

Tags:

#body horror?

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

jonpertwee:

Mentally ill person: I’m having a really bad and hard time right now.

Other person: Haha yeah aren’t we all.

You do realise this sort of thing encourages people not to seek treatment for their mental illnesses?

What this post is saying, to everyone not *diagnosed* with a mental illness, is that their current level of misery is normal and proper, and they should just suck it up and deal without so much as a complaint. (Technically, it permits complaining to non-mentally-ill people, but such people are not easy to find, and you usually can’t tell when you’ve found them.)

For some of the not-known-to-be-mentally-ill people who read this post, that claim will not be true. You don’t know which people they are. *They* don’t know which people they are. You have just thrown another stumbling block onto the already difficult path towards even *recognising* that they have a problem, let alone dealing with it.

(This post brought to you by someone who is regularly kept up at night by the worry that maybe she deserves better than her current mental state. Maybe the reason people don’t talk about struggling–multiple times a month, failing–to keep from being overwhelmed by the combined guilt of every wrong they have ever directly or indirectly committed is because they genuinely don’t *have* such struggles. Or maybe they do, and don’t talk about it because of living in a culture that doesn’t allow people to treat guilt as important. Who can say?)

Tags:

#posts I am almost certainly going to regret #(but what’s a few more litres in an ocean) #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #our roads may be golden or broken or lost

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

aheartmadeofglitter:

I hear people say “oh my god I hate people” all the time without backlash. everyone knows they don’t hate every single individual in humanity. they have friends and family they love and hang out with. they simply hate the greedy, corrupted, oppressive nature of some human beings.
but the minute we say something about white people or men, no one seems to understand that it’s the same concept.

How does that saying go? “The line between good and evil runs through every human heart”? Everyone is worthy of love, and everyone is worthy of hatred. No exceptions.

When I say I hate everyone (which, admittedly, I generally don’t do out loud, as it’s rather rude), I mean literally everyone. I mean my psychological barriers preventing me from contemplating why I ought to hate everyone have failed.

Said barriers are currently only in the alpha stage of development, and fail frequently: about 2 – 5 times a month, for about half an hour at a time. I’m working on it, though. I hope that one day, I’ll be able to repress my misanthropy as thoroughly as I do my mortality.

(I note that the anti-mortality barriers were a huge project, taking something like 2 – 3 years to develop to a point strong enough that I could talk about it without really thinking about it. I was around age 7 when I started it, so it was a big chunk of my total lifespan at that point. I don’t expect the anti-misanthropy barriers will be any easier, both in terms of how long it takes and in terms of the amount of pain suffered in the process.)

Tags:

#Misanthropes Anonymous #’everyone knows’ my foot

angeloftheeasterngate asked: May I ask if there was a particular reason why you’re catholic (as opposed to Lutherian or something) or if that was just the way it turned out?

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

odense:

notbecauseofvictories:

notbecauseofvictories:

Well, it’s partly inherited—I’m an Irish Catholic from a long line of Irish Catholics, and there’s a part of my world that doesn’t make sense without Sunday mass and homilies and the smell of incense. The church calendar orders my world; I know my extended family through a succession of white dresses and suits (baptisms, first communions, weddings). It’s so strange to me that there are people who don’t get homesick at summer camp and pray the rosary, because they might not have their mom with them, but they can cry to Mary and she’ll listen.

(that’s not a judgement, I’m not saying it’s better it’s just one of those things where—I don’t know what else could fit in that space)

And the other part is—I love the stupid religion. Despite all the dark history, the Vatican politics, the list of sins it’s racked up over the centuries—despite everything, I genuinely, really love my church. I love its its history, early church fathers struggling to figure out this strange Hellenistic Messianic Judaism thing, with desert prophets making miracles; the church of Constantinople, glittering on the crown of the Mediterranean; the church of medieval Rome, clinging to power by its teeth and the marriage of dying Italian families to invading barbarians, with monks in brown robes sailing to rocky islands where they can make golden manuscripts. I love the high church, cathedrals and grey rows of saints, with long faces and long fingers held up in chi-ro. Renaissance art and nuns writing books when women were supposed to be seen and not heard; ecstatic visions and universities and soup kitchens and schools and people saying prayers, humbling themselves, thinking about the world and serving and leading revolutions and protesting and—

I love the fact that every Sunday, I go and do and say almost the exact same thing that has been done and said for two thousand years. An unbroken line back to the apostles, of people both terrible and saintly but mostly just people.

I love the Bible. It’s a strange and sprawling thing, ugly and magnificent, heavy with thousands of years of scholarship and hope. I love the theology of my church, that talks about sin and heaven and bread and emptying yourself to be filled with God, that lifts up Mary and the weak, and the humble; that admits a humanity so fallible enough to fall from grace, but still possessing enough of it to reach for the perfection we sense within ourselves. Redeemable. And given a redeemer.

It is a very human thing, for me, a thing that spans the universe and lives in my cardiac muscle and—no, there isn’t a particular reason I’m Catholic, it’s the reason for everything else.

spelling-problems:

[cut]

I love seeing these sorts of heartfelt posts about people’s relationships with their religions. I grew up Catholic, and I still have a lot of respect for the scholarship and history that goes into the Church, and I get genuinely angry when people butcher Church history. (If you’re gonna hate something, hate it for its truth, not for a defamatory lie.)

I also genuinely hate it when people don’t understand what it is they believe or why they believe it. “UHH CUZ JESUS” answers come from a lack of consideration and understanding of one’s faith and I would argue that faith without understanding or connection is not actually faith, just conformity.

So, OP, I love your passion for your faith and I respect it greatly. Even as someone who left the Church for the arms of a Goddess, I genuinely hope that I can carry the same kind of love and passion for my faith that you obviously do.

I disagree with this, more vehemently than I can really convey here. It runs counter to the spirit of the Church, the same spirit that Jesus came in—he called the humble and the poor and downtrodden and the weak and all those longing, not the ones with vocabulary enough to express their theological yearning.

Look, I come to my faith through a natural disposition to wordiness and thoughtfulness, four years of Catholic education, a further four years of a philosophy degree, two years of blogging about the subject, and a mother who loves discussing theology and church history and so encouraged the same in me. Part of the reason I love Catholicism is because it accommodates my disposition—it offers me the writings of Doctors of the Church, gives me mystics to puzzle out and reams of canon law to interpret. But to say that Catholicism is just that, or even should be is—it’s not a church of the world if you restrict it to the library.

Christianity is for those who serve in soup kitchens, and those who eat the soup. For those pray the same prayers on their knees every Sunday, and then go out to lunch with their families afterward and don’t puzzle over the meaning of the homily. It’s for Christmas-and-Easter Catholics and converts and those who only show up when their cousin is getting married and everyone in between. It’s for people who say “Because Jesus” because that is an answer, that is a damn good answer, that is an answer we founded a religion on, this one guy who showed up and said some good shit and was kind and he wept in a garden and he loved people, loved them enough to die for them, and there are worse answers to that question than his name. It does not betray a lack of consideration to answer with him—he’s the only answer really worthy of the question.

To declare Christianity only valid among those who can verbosely and intelligently articulate their belief—to call it conformity otherwise—smacks of the worst sort of academic arrogance.

I have been given, and worked to cultivate, a gift of expressing what so often is inexpressible. I am so proud of my ability to convey the passion I have for my people and my faith. But it is an ongoing project, and there are days when the words will not come, when the theology lies in knots I can’t unravel. Faith is forever a work in progress. (“Ineffable” is the word you use, to describe a thing which cannot be described.) I cannot blame others for not knowing how to convey what I myself struggle with—God is not a tame lion (to borrow a phrase) he can’t be surrounded in words, he defies, he evades, and you are left with some poor simulacrum of divinity that cannot keep you warm in the face of cold reason.

I have days (weeks, months) when I don’t understand what it is I believe or why I believe it. I exist only on inertia, the sustained faith of decades, and the hope that it soon might, if I don’t turn away. Would you deny me Christianity because of it?

Additionally, what I keep before me, always, is the knowledge that mine is a secondary gift. At no point in the New Testament does Jesus say, “be scholars.” He says “give” he says “help” he says “forgive” he says “love” he says “be just” he says “hunger for righteousness and for my father and for heaven.”

None of that requires a litmus test or a written portion.

This is not to say there are not lazy Christians, bad Christians. But their failing is not the inability to articulate what they believe—nowhere in any of our creeds is that ever asked of us. Jesus didn’t come for those who knew how to turn a phrase. No, what our prayer, our founding prayer, given to us by the Savior himself, asks is that the will of the Father be done, the bread be eaten, and forgiveness lift our sins from our shoulders—it asks nothing more of Heaven than that.

#unless it hurts other people your christianity is valid#don’t let anyone ever tell you differently#there is no test to be a christian#just the desire#just the doing#catholic means universal that means everyone whatever you’re like whatever you are everyone#long post for ts

Tags:

#…great #I hate crying #’Catholic means universal’ #’that means everyone’ #I’m so sick of being told that #it isn’t *true* #and it rubs it in for those of us for whom it is false #(that thing about ‘not having God-shaped holes in our hearts’ is less bad only to the extent it doesn’t claim to be true of everyone) #(being non-religious doesn’t always mean *lacking* a God-shaped hole) #(something it means not having anything to fill it with) #(means living with the knowledge that you may never know what it’s like not having to cope with that hole) #(unlike notbecauseofvictories up there I have no memories of good times to keep me going through the bad) #((and don’t bother telling me those bits I quoted above weren’t directed at me)) #((it doesn’t matter)) #((it hurts anyway)) #tag rambles #things that make me uncomfortably aware of my apparent inability to feel awe #posts I am almost certainly going to regret

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

coeur-de-porcelaine:

pansexualpagan:

kaylamariesmiley:

toenail-fister:

daigonite:

lucifers-lycan:

sizvideos:

Mila Kunis Against Men Saying “We Are Pregnant” – Video

What the fuck is this bullshit and why was it recommended for me?

It’s not like men are involved in the creation of the baby or anything.

I mean shit, I understand that pregnancy is an extremely strenuous thing on the woman, but that doesn’t mean that a dude can’t be proud of the fact that he’s going to be a father.

Hmm. Weird how someone would want to be considered a part of the pregnancy…
There goes all of my respect for Mila Kunis.

My goodness, women like this have some fucking nerve. Good luck Ashton.

Please stop.

Pregnancy is a very dangerous time for cis-women. Until cis-men are capable of nine months of pain without the ability to take painkillers, followed by hours of one of the most painful experiences a human can undergo, I agree with Mila Kunis. It is your child. Not your pregnancy. You don’t get a fucking medal for sticking your dick inside someone and impregnating them, you get a child. So no, you don’t need a fucking spotlight highlighting your months of work and pain and the fact that you can potentially die trying to bring life into the world when you have not undergone any of the physical effort.

Things you can expect during pregnancy: Anemia, urinary tract infections, constipation, mental health conditions including intense depression, hyperemesis gravidarm (basically when persistent vomiting is more than just morning sickness and requires hospitalization). Not to mention there are dozens of infections that can cause serious problems. (x) (x)

Oh and the fact that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages which obviously requires hospitalization for the pregnant woman and causes a lot of emotional trauma.

Or that you can’t consume alcohol, most types of fish, you can’t expose yourself to hot water (or any heat, really), or get an x-ray. You cannot eat lunch meats, raw sprouts (radishes, alfalfa, etc.), soft cheeses, anything unpasteurized is out, as are foods with raw or undercooked eggs. And caffeine can lead to miscarriages, so say goodbye to coffee, teas, and chocolate. (x) (x) (x)

About 2 million pregnancy losses occur annually in the U.S.; 6 million babies are born. 25% of pregnancies are lost.

14.5% of pregnant women will experience at least one pregnancy complication.

11% of women are diagnosed with post partum depression.

(x)

800 women die because of pregnancy-related problems in the U.S. annually. (x)

Labor can last for 36 hours or more. You’re in a room full of strangers, who are all seeing your vagina, your blood, your shit, your piss, and your agony. It’s common for tearing to occur during the delivery (x) and after the baby is born you still have to deliver the placenta (essentially an organ).

Pregnancy is terrifying, dangerous, and uncomfortable. None of you have the right to shit on Mila Kunis for telling the truth: You do not deserve the spotlight of your wife’s pregnancy. So get over yourselves. Yes, the father CAN be proud, and he should be. But it’s not his pregnancy. He is not the one who will endure it.

It is not weird that someone would want to be involved in their wife’s pregnancy. It is weird that you have the fucking nerve to lose respect for someone reminding you that the father is not the pregnant one in the picture.

So please, stop.

Today in male entitlement: now women ”have some nerve” if they remind men that they are not, in fact, the pregnant ones. 

Okay, so fathers are allowed and even pressured to feel proud. How then should they express this pride? “My wife and I are having a baby” is forbidden (see first GIF), so what’s permitted?

Tags:

#feminism #I’m willing to go along with the rules of the social-justice subculture #but I need to know what the rules *are* before I can follow them #let alone warn other people that they’re breaking them

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

drinking-watermelon:

you can get condoms free from the NHS but not sanitary products, and sanitary products are charged with a 5% VAT because apparently bleeding every month is a privilege but someone shoving their dick in you is necessary :):):):):)

Why do people keep using this comparison?

Condoms are free precisely because they’re not necessary. If someone skips out on using condoms because they don’t think it’s worth the money, they can still shove dicks; they’re just endangering themselves and others by doing so. Menstrual products can afford to be a lot more expensive while still being assured that people will buy them, and if people do decide it’s not worth it they won’t be putting people at risk.

Diapers and maybe toilet paper are much closer comparisons to menstrual products, and both of them cost money. (I’m pretty sure they’re taxed, too, but I’m not entirely certain and anyway your country’s mileage may vary.)

P.S. The thing is, there is a double standard here. It’s just that it’s penis condoms vs. vaginal condoms, not penis condoms vs. menstrual products.

Tags:

#misogyny #sort of #people being wrong on the Internet

Image ~ ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

the-unpopular-opinions:

Periods are really not that bad. At worst, they’re an inconvenience. You’re a little uncomfortable, your stomach might hurt every now and then, you could feel a bit down or cranky, but that’s it. I’m sick to death of hearing people complain about the unbearable pain and agony they suffer through every month. If your period and the symptoms that come with it are truly so bad that you are literally unable to move or are throwing up, GO TO THE DOCTOR. Your period is not compulsory, you can go on the pill or other medications to control it or block it altogether. And quit campaigning that women should get the days of their period off school or work – women have been getting on with their lives, period or no period, literally since the beginning of man.
Also, stop complaining about ruined clothes – BLOOD RINSES OUT IN COLD WATER.

 

raidens-damn-fine-ass:

Lol. Ahahahaha…

 

hellamasamune:

you tell that to the people who have PCOS

 

131-di:

“IT DOESN’T HAPPEN TO ME, SO CLEARLY THESE OTHER WOMEN ARE LYING ABOUT THEIR HORRIBLE AGONY!”

 

silentcartoon:

This is hilarious.

And yeah, why don’t you come say that to someone with PCOS? We’d have some lovely words.

 

ryuredwingsreturn:

Five bucks says this was written by a dude. Because, holy crap, I can’t believe another chick would be that insensitive about something a friend of hers most likely goes through.

 

newvagabond:

My period a few months ago was literally so horrible that I had to crawl on the floor to get around the house and I was sweating because of how much pain I was in, even WITH STRONG PAINKILLERS. Wow.

 

huggabutts:

“Your period is not compulsory, you can go on the pill or other medications to control it or block it altogether”

EXCEPT SO MANY POLITICIANS ARE TRYING TO KEEP US FROM GETTING THE MEDICINE THAT HELPS US BECAUSE THEY THINK IT PROMOTES PROMISCUITY AND BAD MORALS.

Why the FUCK do you think that women fight so hard for birth control pills? And for it to be covered by health insurance? Not only is it our fucking choice on if we want to have sex or not, but without birth control, I am in AGONY for 3-4 days out of 7 and cannot go past an hour without needing to go to the bathroom to change things. 

I’m lucky enough that birth control controls my period. I don’t have any conditions like PCOS that make my period worse, I’m just on the end spectrum of “your period is normal, but its gunna suck” For others, they need birth control so that it doesn’t feel like someone’s ripping their uterus out and gnawing on it and instead feels more like someone just stabbing them repeatedly so that they can THEN go on heavy painkillers to try and deal with the pain. Also, side note: most side effects of heavy painkillers make you seriously groggy and they don’t want you to drive. 

Another side note, my roommate has epilepsy. Now i don’t know jack squat about epilepsy, but she’s told me that sometimes her cramps are so bad that it can trigger a seizure. She’s woken up a couple of times from the pain, only to have a seizure and throw up. If you knew this was a possibility, would you go outside where this could potentially happen in front of a lot of people/on stairs/WHILE DRIVING or would you take a day off and do your work at home where you can better control it? Periods don’t just cause cramps and whatever, they can trigger other conditions to act up as well WHICH CAN BE SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS.

Pretend women have completely free access to birth control and its covered by health insurance. My roommate can’t use traditional birth control because it completely negates her seizure meds, so there’s drug interactions that women have to deal with too. What if you’re allergic to the medicine? What if it causes even WORSE side effects than the symptoms you had before? 

I’m not even going to bother explaining how “feeling a little cranky” begins to cover it. Periods mean hormone surges which means various mood swings as your body balances everything out to make sure that your uterus is functioning properly. Hormone surges affect moods. Some girls get more of a surge than others. Some girls are just more sensitive to these hormonal changes than others. 


Most of the time us “feeling a little cranky” is us flabbergasted at the absolute ignorance that people like you have and the rage at the “oh you’re mad, you must be on your period” like our anger is only justified if we’re on our period and isn’t valid (but thats a whole other issue)


As for blood rinses out in cold water? How about when you leak onto your jeans in the first hour of school? Are you suggesting that I go to the bathroom and rinse out my jeans on cold water, and then go to class the rest of the day with a WET CROTCH? Because I’m not gunna have enough time to sit with my pants under the hand dryer until they dry. 

Blood doesn’t even always rinse out in cold water, more just rinses out in cold water. It depends on the fabric, and you have to rinse it RIGHT AWAY. Most of the time girls wake up with their periods, after the blood has been there for HOURS. So there’s underwear, pants and potentially sheets stained because you didn’t even know your period even started.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that in order to keep the blood clean and off clothes is that we have to buy expensive pads or tampons, which are either basically diapers that you have to sit in and feel like you pissed yourself all day and worry about leaking, or a wad of cotton that you shove up in your vagina and worry about leaking.  

And yes, women have been “getting on with life” for as long as we’ve had periods, because we’re BADASSES. We are TOUGH and we are STRONG. But women in the past have also wanted to take breaks due to periods. Don’t try and fool yourself into thinking that in the past women were just like “Oh it appears i’ve gotten my period” because a spot of red appeared on their undergarments AND THATS IT. No. They went through the same thing but most of the time had to be like “well FUCK” and tough out the day, and then cry from the pain in private. They would want a break then just as much as we do now. 

Before making sweeping statements like this, why don’t you crack open a human repro book and actually look at the female side of it, and all of the problems and complications of periods that are DOCUMENTED.

And if you are a female instead of a male, OP, count yourself blessed that you think periods are easy to deal with. You could have had it so much worse.

 

newvagabond:

Reblogging again because YO^^^

 

justice-turtle:

And not even politicians, necessarily. I started my period when I was NINE, and my family were ultra-hyper-conservative NOBODY MUST GO ON THE PILL EVER FOR ANY REASON assholes — so I had throwing-up cramps EVERY MONTH OF MY WHOLE LIFE until I weirdly stopped having periods a few years back. (I’m twenty-seven, it’s not menopause. It might be cancer; more likely it’s a very weird manifestation of PCOS. Whatever it is, I haven’t wanted to fuck with it. If it’s cancer, it can be fucking cancer as long as it doesn’t give me cramps. And this has been The Truth About Periods.)

Handy tip for those who are prone to thinking like the OP, because I know it can be tempting:

You don’t know other people’s lives. You don’t know why they’re putting up with horrific nausea and pain. Don’t assume they’re just overreacting. If you are going to offer advice (like suggesting the use of birth control or reusable pads), be respectful. Acknowledge that it may not work well for them or their situation, that in fact they may have already considered it and rejected it for reasons of their own. (It is usually a good idea to attempt to judge the likelihood that they have heard this idea before. The higher the chance seems, the more additionally cautious you should be, eventually to the point of refraining from saying anything at all. Giving people advice they’ve heard a zillion times already tends to make them angry at you.)

~Someone whose periods are only mildly annoying

Tags:

#menstruation #theory of mind is *tough* #(there’s also silicone cups you can use instead of tampons) #(I’ve never tried them but you might want to) #(or you might not)

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

necrophilofthefuture:

when girls say “i was born in the wrong decade!!” “i belong in the 20’s!!!” “i wish guys were still old fashioned gentlemen!”

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are u sure about that 

“Wilbur Hardee opened the first Hardee’s Drive-In Restaurant on Fourteenth Street on September 9, 1960.”

Everyone seems to agree that that particular logo came into use around 2006.

(Plus the suspiciously large quantities of self-deprecation that pinged my bullshit alarm in the first place.)

“The 1920’s had too much sexism to be a good place to live” is a perfectly decent point. Not only that, you don’t even need to invoke bigotry at all to make the greater point of “the 1920’s would not be a good place to live”. No Internet, no food inspection, shadow of the Great Depression hanging over your head (from the perspective of the people talking about wanting to live there). Why undermine your argument by using blatant lies to support it?

Tags:

#I tagged the last debunking #lying bastards