conspiracy theories

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

fermatas-theorem:

loki-zen:

transgenderer:

transgenderer:

was trying to find the mark kondratiuk jesus christ superstar performance but the first result was this bonkers gematria analysis. its a jesuit thing? or like, an anti-jesuit thing? hes like, a next level conspiracy theorist, he thinks that theres a conspiracy to make you THINK israel controls the world but actually jesuits control the world

@illuminatiswag said: that link is a chair

lol woops

point of fact I clicked the link and like fuck is that a chair

to be fair this is the funniest possible chair to accidentally be labeled ‘bonkers gematria analysis’

{{

ph63984

}}

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #yeah pretty much #conspiracy theories #love the decor fandom

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

lizardsfromspace:

Conspiracy theorists in the Star Trek universe

Starfleet’s HIDING the TRUTH from us! If you travel too fast you BECOME a NEWT! There’s a universe where we’re all evil and bi and into leather! Starfleet built a SHIP that ran on MUSHROOMS and they’re KEEPING IT SECRET!!!

Everyone: Get a load of this guy! He probably thinks Sisko killed that Romulan too. Truthers

Tags:

#Star Trek #conspiracy theories #oh my god #(I had to look up the mushroom thing) #(apparently that’s from Discovery) #(which I have not had a chance to see)

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

steel-kun:

Name a conspiracy theory superior in raw power to “there are no actual forests on Earth”

 

dream-cassette:

imma need some context on that cause WHAT?

 

steel-kun:

“forests” = minuscule form of what trees on Earth can be, basically saplings
“mesas” = not landforms, but petrified ancient tree trunks
IIRC the theory goes that all forests on Earth were destroyed ages ago and it takes them ridiculous times to regrow, with those giant mammoth redwood trees just being the oldest ones that have grown the most

 

maxeth:

evidence 1:

tumblr_inline_osul982lpy1ri6lfo_540

 

big-bird-nerd:

Who/what cut down the trees to make them mesas, for what purpose, and with what tools?

 

nahiri:

I’ve actually looked a little deeper into this, and the short answer is that humans cut them down with future tech. This theory is a sub-theory of flat earth, as it makes use of a lot of the same basic assumptions about the world, most importantly that our entire worldview is a construct created by the elite that controls our world from the shadows. By keeping knowledge from us, they can treat us like sheep without expecting resistance. Part of this theory is that we had advanced machines and supercomputers way back, even in the ancient times, and that all history older than about 100 years is a lie crafted by this elite in the wake of a nuclear war in the 1800s.

 

big-bird-nerd:

What would we use all that wood for, and where did it go?

 

nahiri:

Rock is wood. Or rather, wood becomes rock as it grows and the trees reach massive heights. They essentially mined the trees for useful minerals and metals, and for the construction of whatever secret structres they use to control us.

 

sidisi:

Steal dnd settings from conspiracy theorists every day bc this shit is too good

Tags:

#unreality cw #conspiracy theories #story ideas I will never write

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

itsbenedict:

Farnham: So, I’ve decided to work on a side project

Farnham: And I’ve got it, like, deeply conceptualized

Farnham: Which I usually don’t

Farnham: So I figured I’d run it by you

Farnham: See what you think of the premise

Benedict: ?

Farnham: Okay, so we open on this alternative medical company.

Farnham: Scarborough Fair Pharmaceuticals — specializing in herbal medicine a step removed from homeopathy

Farnham: And they release a drug that, they claim, allows one to instinctively understand cryptic speech, mysticism, etc.

Farnham: Like, not just in the sense some people use, where you’re in the right mindframe and get suggestible and your brain comes up with whatever it wants

Farnham: As in, you actually gain the ability to instinctively parse gurus, and come out with what they /meant/ instead of whatever they /said/

Farnham: Of course, no one believes them; that’d be a ridiculous claim from almost any corporation, let alone a little alternative outlet

Farnham: So they decide to publicly perform a study

Farnham: They dose up an experimental group and a control and send them, independently, to the lectures of Dr. Lee Kendricks

Farnham: And this guy is basically my Dr. Gene Ray, btw

Benedict: uh oh

Farnham: Dr. Lee’s been giving lectures for years, and everyone on the internet is basically convinced that he’s spouting the same old Christian conspiracy material, Templars Freemasons the Devil etc. etc.

Farnham: They send in these groups, and the control submits reports on what they think he said — fractured, without consensus, etc. etc.

Farnham: The experimental group all produce, independently, nearly identical reports on his claims

Farnham: They all report his claims thus: pink appears on the color wheel as between red and purple, but the spectrum of light doesn’t seem to support that, right?

Farnham: Dr. Lee Kendricks says that this is because pink — especially certain shades of pink — are intrusions into reality

Farnham: That is, they are the color of time itself, showing through otherwise mundane light

Farnham: (Taking inspiration from Philip K. Dick’s VALIS there)

Farnham: And he claims that great works of art, ones that seem timeless, are /actually/ timeless — that they’re inspired via the light by the presence of pink images of that art in the future

Farnham: So all timeless great art is acausal

Farnham: and the first instance, he says — not that that’s super consistent with the timeless thing, but you know, guru — the first instance of this phenomenon was the Pieta

Farnham: And as a result, time has essentially been transmuted into copies of the Pieta

Benedict: i’m getting suspicious

Farnham: The medium through which time works uses endless images of the Virgin Mary as a medium

Farnham: I’m sort of trying for an EVA feel

Farnham: Although I know I do that all too often

Farnham: Y’know, religious concepts slightly misapplied

Farnham: For ridiculous Gnostic coolness

Farnham: And so, Dr. Lee Kendricks comes out and verifies the whole thing — yes, these are his exact claims

Farnham: And zero people expected this — like, this drug Scarborough Fair Pharma has released is essentialy telepathy

Farnham: *essentially

Farnham: induced psychic powers via alternative medicine

Farnham: of course, no one quite considers Dr. Kendricks’s claims as viable in any way, but they’re shocked that they could parse Time Cube-equivalent so perfectly

Farnham: So Scarborough Fair Pharmaceuticals gets caught up in this marketing blitz

Farnham: And they’re still slightly stunned about being proven right (or close enough) in a scientific way

Farnham: So they rewrite the slogan to be about the success of the test:

Farnham: “Parse Lee, sage, ’bout rose Marian time!”

Benedict: i fuckin’

Benedict: god damn it

Benedict: i got suspicious too late

Farnham: Scarborough Fair Pharmaceuticals

Farnham: sounds just legitimate enough

Farnham: only to factor into the pun!

Farnham: !!!

Benedict: wait wh

Benedict: oh god damn it, i forgot that was in the

Benedict: if i’d remembered the lyrics i would have worried a lot earlier

Farnham: get dunked on

Benedict: oh fUCK ME AND THEY’RE HERBAL ALTERNATIVE-

Benedict: FRIGGIN

Farnham: LAYERS, NERD

Farnham: LAYERS

Benedict: it’s all ogre for me

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #oh my god #puns

Image ~ ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

unmovinggreatlibrary:

 

ursulavernon:

animate-mush:

ursulavernon:

ksonney:

christian-libertarian:

Most common cause of death in Georgia is Russian invasion…

See Ursula? It is NOT Mothman in WVa

Mothman strongly resembles a small Balrog. I think they’ve just confused their taxonomy.

Mothman doesn’t cause death – he merely presages it!  Gosh

Oh no! I will not take by swayed by Moth-apologists! Mothman shows up, people die! The first few times, okay, sure, maaaaybe it’s a coincidence, but once the bridges start falling down, it’s Mothpocalypse Now!

Typhoid Mary thought she was just unlucky, too, but she was directly responsible. When will the world learn that If Mothman does not wash his hands before preparing food….

…wait, I think I got confused there. Um.

Moral of the Story: Mothman Should Not Cater Your Child’s Birthday Party For Multiple Reasons.

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Image ~ ~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{previous post in sequence}}

brin-bellway:

justice-turtle:

girljanitor:

ameliated:

bad-dominicana:

skepticamongthefaithful:

kemetically-afrolatino:

source 1; source 2; source 3; source 4; source 5

WELP.

Stop what you are doing.

Read those.

Right now.

I’ll wait.

If you don’t want to read, I’ll explain the key bullet points, but please read them afterwords:

This is not “we didn’t protect him enough.”

This is not “the government screwed up some random detail or accidentally let his killer loose.”

The 111th Military Intelligence had a team taking pictures of his balcony during the assassination.

They brought in a Special Forces 8-Man Sniper Team from the 20th.

Memphis Police withdrew their regular protection detail from him.

A jury of 12 people, six black and six white, found the United States Government guilty of conspiracy to commit murder.

YOUR GOVERNMENT. MY GOVERNMENT. THE GOVERNMENT OF, BY, AND FOR THE PEOPLE, SHOT AND KILLED DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING. And the media never reported the case.

MLK was ASSASSINATED. By a government YOU PAY FOR.

I hate those posts where someone tries to pressure you into reblogging. I almost never ask you to reblog.

This shit is important.

Reblog this. I don’t care what kind of blog you have. I don’t care what you normally talk about.

Reblog this.

holy shit

Not fucking surprised. I knew that the FBI was conducting a dedicated smear campaign against him and that anyone lobbying for Black civil rights was officially considered a communist sympathizer, therefore a threat to national security. MLK had just led / been part of the biggest civil rights march in history (where he gave his “I Have a Dream” speech); it makes a lot of sense that the government of the day would decide he was a threat to be “neutralized in any way possible”, as the line goes.

And it makes a lot of sense that the mainstream media wouldn’t report it when the government was found guilty. Does the mainstream media report anything prejudicial to the government as a whole? They do not. They report plenty of stuff prejudicial to individual politicians, and they print a fair number of op-ed pieces saying whatever their target audience thinks about current wars etc, but something huge like this? Something that would  upset the “official” view of The Great And Awesome Progress Of Civil Rights As A Government-Supported Thing From The Emancipation Proclamation To The Present Via Martin Luther King To The First Black President? NOT ON YOUR TINTYPE.

Personally, my bullshit alarm started ringing at “enemies of freedom”. Also, Source 1 is Wikipedia, whose own sources don’t make the trial look very legit from what I can tell, and Source 3 and Source 5 are both from conspiracy-theorist sites.

Bringing this back because I saw a similar post going around today.

Tags:

#Martin Luther King Jr. #conspiracy theories