commiseration | Brinens and Things

It’s really cloudy tonight so, while the clouds had a reddish tint, I didn’t see the moon :(

*nod* Fucking clouds.

The worst part is, in my case it might not have just been the clouds. When I finally got a glimpse of the moon at 12:20, about ten minutes before the last of the shadow left, I found it was much higher in the sky than I expected it to be. Specifically, it was high enough that the angle I had been using to check the sky out my window that evening would not have seen it. How long was it up that high? How long?

Fucking clouds. Fucking irregular-relative-to-day/night-cycle moonrises. Fucking sleep schedules.

(Also, I like that “tiny adventure club” tag you used. Looks like the space-less version (”tinyadventureclub”) is more active, though.)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #commiseration #how come nobody ever took me out meteor-watching when I was a kid and went to bed at 2 – 3 AM #now it’s too late #(in multiple senses of ‘too late’) #lunar eclipse

justice-turtle:

so like I have no idea where I’m going with this but

people whose lived experience is close enough to harmful tropes that they feel uncomfortable talking about it

like “you’re not asexual you’re just repressed” well as it happened I was not asexual and I was repressed as hell (I was/am aromantic and had it super thoroughly drilled into me that sexual attraction without romantic attraction… wasn’t really attraction or something? idk every time I try to figure out my upbringing it gets weirder)

or like I have an oc who’s demi (or in one ‘verse he’s demi, AUs man) but he IDed as ace for like twenty years before the “I am now sexually attracted to my life partner” kicked in and so I feel reeeeeally awkward about writing that ‘verse because I have no idea how I’d keep it from being “you just haven’t met the right person yet” without, like, actively stopping the story to write a screed about it ;P

but like does anyone else have this problem? what (if anything) do you do about it? commiserate with me! ;S

Ah, that old double-bind. The one where, for instance, some people don’t have a right person to find, and also who cares if there is a right person they’re still ace for intents and purposes now, but you only have the chance to say one of those things and whichever wrong you correct you’re implicitly condoning the other. It is especially difficult when you personally do happen to fit the narrative.

I look kind of like I fit the first one, since I did formerly ID as repressed,
but I don’t think I actually do fit it. Nevertheless, when I encounter that one (which I almost never do directly; I hang out in pretty ace-friendly spaces) I always tackle the “so what if I am?” aspect over the “I’m not” aspect. I figure I’m more believable on that one, plus the “I’m not” aspect is generally tackled more often.

I do have a narrative that I both disagree with and fit, and that’s “rape
fetishism isn’t an inherent/valid* part of a fetishist’s sexuality;
they’re just into it because Society doesn’t give them any better options. If they were in a culture where consent was an established Thing, the fetish would fall away.”

This is bullshit on multiple levels. It also happened to me. I was rather annoyed when I realised, partly because do you know how hard it is to find consensual hypnosis porn (well, obviously it would have to be difficult or this wouldn’t have happened in the first place) and partly because I resented supporting the pro-narrative argument by existing.

I haven’t tried to respond to that narrative since it happened. Any one thing I say would be undermining the others, and–unlike the repression one–I have no clue where to place my focus.

*In a culture with heavy reliance on “born this way” messages, these two words are treated as interchangeable, which is a big chunk (but not the entirety) of the problem.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #asexuality #sexuality and lack thereof #commiseration #consensual porn is like the food of the fairy folk #once you’ve had a taste you can never go back #normal food can’t sustain you anymore; all you can think about when you eat it is how much better the other stuff tasted