naxzella:

finding out people dont usually add numbers by first adding something to make a ten (for example 7+6= 7 plus 3 is 10 plus another 3 is 13) & that its actually an adhd thing is the WILDEST shit literally ive lived like 10 years (or however old i was when i learned to add and stuff) thinking thats how everyone does it. what the fuck

 

cabronallorona:

What

 

overherewiththequeers:

It’s also an autism thing, apparently.

 

teaboot:

W H A T

 

leap-yeap:

Oh yeah! This is also part of why autistic people/people with adhd struggle in math classes. Our brains process math and numbers in a totally different way. Many people on the spectrum struggle with the “show your work” part of math because we can’t exactly tell you why it works/how it works. We just kinda do it

 

black-infinity-parked-outside:

It’s also a maths dyslexia thing!

 

maryellencarter:

So I don’t innately do this but I was taught to do it? Now I’m really confused.

(I wonder if a disproportionate number of people who homeschool for primarily religious reasons, and/or of the people who create curricula marketed to that audience, are autistic or ADHD or otherwise neurodivergent. It would sure explain the absolute scathing scorn for the idea that children need “socialization”, and possibly the popularity of theme-integrated “unit studies” and self-directed “unschooling”… and it could evolve pretty easily by those originally being the kids who did a *lot* better homeschooled than in public schools… hmm.)

(Every so often I circle back around to the question of whether any of the things that make me think I’m autistic are inborn or whether they all come from my upbringing. Because my sperm donor is definitely autistic and also an abusive asshole, and my bio-incubator may be autistic or ADHD or something else along those lines but by *god* does she have the executive dysfunction in spades. And they’re both controlling as fuck. So the only way to socialize Correctly was his way, and the only way to get anything done was her way, and given childhood neuroplasticity… does it really matter if I was born autistic or whatever I am? Am I just irreversibly whatever-it-is now and I should be learning to work with it, or am I accidentally meandering back toward neurotypicality (and what does that mean for my online friendships if so), or was I actually neurodivergent all along and it’s just the extroversion confusing me? :P)

Not sure about fundies as such, but FWIW I was in secular homeschool groups (though this included a fair number of relatively laid-back religious types who didn’t mind hanging out with the rest of us) and they were very autistic. And they got distilled to increasingly high concentrations of autism the older they got, because allistics were a lot more likely to leave for public school. Groups of homeschooled teenagers tended to be upwards of 50% autistic, and a lot of the rest had autistic siblings.

The method of addition described in the OP is implicitly being contrasted with some “normal” way, and I’m curious what that normal way actually is. Anyone know?


Tags:

#autism #homeschool #my childhood #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #abuse cw #math #reply via reblog


{{next post in sequence}}

{{There was originally a video here, but it was consuming 34 MB of valuable WordPress media-storage space even though I never even *wanted* the video: I was only reblogging for the transcript. Video link is https://www.tumblr.com/video/brin-bellway/180738117249/500/ for however long Tumblr continues to function, and I think it’s also more or less equivalent to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIVZpzvduZ4 if you can get that to work.}}

dontbearuiner:

whatsitnot:

vulpeculavolans:

pactmagic:

somewhat-honest-abe:

brainshart:

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just – all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere – I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much – they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS –

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now – let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like –

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife – I have this wife – she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

*throws out my notes for bit about having ADHD*


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(have not watched the video but the transcript is hilarious) #ADHD #embarrassment squick?

Therapeutic Compression CRIB or TODDLER Size Bed Sheet for kids with Autism, ADHD and Insomnia

{{Title link: https://www.etsy.com/listing/507193128/therapeutic-compression-crib-or-toddler}}

thesecondsealwrites:

Holy cow, so y’all. A lot of us have sensory issues. A friend of mine has a toddler who is basically me when it comes to this sorta thing. A lot of OTs recommend weighted blankets but those are 1. expensive to try (I mean WHAT IF THEY DON’T WORK?) 2. HOT. 

Now, I haven’t tried these myself because after decades of trial and error I have found what works for me (and I’m claustrophobic…so these frighten me as much as they fascinate lol), but I will tell you that my friend is RAVING about them on facebook. Her toddler has been sleeping through the night finally without getting under his fitted sheet with all his stuffed animals and blankets) and he is taking actual naps. A weighted blanket didn’t work for them (and they were fortunate to be able to borrow one), but these are much more economical. 

These are listed for Crib and toddler beds, but

They make up to a king size.

That’s right. 40 bucks compared to the hundred plus I see for most weighted blankets (and those aren’t even adult sized). 

Now, we know tumblr doesn’t like to allow linked posts in the search results so if y’all could pass this around that would be great. These sheets have already changed the life of a family I know, I’m sure they’d help others.


Tags:

#interesting #the more you know #autism

{{previous post in sequence, branch 1}}

{{previous post in sequence, branch 2}}

{{previous post in sequence, branch 3}}


@acemindbreaker, hello and welcome!

(and thank you for the massive spike in my activity page, it’s very flattering)

Acemindbreaker Icon

@acemindbreaker
replied to your post “i didn’t ship you with nonternary, i’m curious about how you can be…”

Why are you so much like me?

:D

Which ways are you thinking of?

(Looking at your blog, I see you’re aro-ace, autistic, formerly homeschooled, Canadian (though not by immigration?), dislike queer gatekeeping, and your kinks are cousins to mine.)

(Was going to make this a footnote, but didn’t seem right to have a footnote longer than its paragraph: I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s room for debate about whether I’m technically autistic, and it’s definitely not official (my parents didn’t seek diagnosis when I was a kid because they didn’t want me to get stuck with a stigmatised label, and I’ve never been in a situation where the benefits of being official might outweigh that), but I’m certainly somewhere in the neighbourhood.)

acemindbreaker replied to your link “Smashwords – Sleepwalkers: Deluxe Edition with Bonus Material – a book…

Oh, yes. Erotica for the genital-repulsed fetishists is really rare.

I know, right? One of the nice things about text-based porn is it’s easier to skim those bits. (that and easier pausing/rewinding, and hyperlexia)

acemindbreaker replied to your photoset “coeur-de-porcelaine: pansexualpagan: kaylamariesmiley: …

Um, most pregnancies are not “nine months of pain”. If you’re experiencing chronic pain throughout pregnancy, something is wrong and you should talk to your gynecologist about it.

I wonder if this is related to the thing where anti-dysmenorrhea advocates treat it as a half-the-population issue, completely ignoring the existence of people who menstruate without being dysmenorrheic (*cough*). It’s tempting to exaggerate the scope of the issue in the hopes of being taken more seriously. (And sad to think, rightly or wrongly, that one wouldn’t be taken seriously if one were honest about the scope, as if the real version of the problem isn’t bad enough.)


Tags:

#acemindbreaker #replies #nsfw? #sexuality and lack thereof #okay I’m late for bed I’d better go #be back in the morning #fertility cw

{{previous post in sequence}}


stimmyabby:

autie-stereotype-crime-noir story

 

stimmyabby:

i like clues because they make sense, unlike people, who have legs that go on for days. how can a leg go on for days? i don’t know. help

 

stimmyabby:

i got the call late at night: “there’s been a murder on the orient express.” i knew i had to take the case immediately, because that is a TRAIN

 

stimmyabby:

i have been told i am “gritty” and “hardboiled”, maybe because i eat so many eggs and crunch the bits of shell between my teeth

 

stimmyabby:

“he’s the killer!” i said. “wait, no he’s not. wait, all these people look the same, which one is which again?”

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a straight shooter who plays by my own rules, all 376 of them that I have in this annotated binder

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a lose cannon, in fact, i have been institutionalized for erratic behavior

 

stimmyabby:

my job as a detective is made harder by the fact that i am physically incapable of telling a lie or bluffing but made easier by the fact that i have no emotions about anything but trains. once a train was murdered, and i couldn’t stop crying

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves in all the right places. i like curves, because they make sense, unlike people

 

stimmyabby:

i like my liquor hard, and my social interactions harder

 

stimmyabby:

i’m the best detective around, but my fees are high, and i only take payment in trains

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves in all the right places. she was a graph i was making about trains. in the other room, my dad was crying because i wouldn’t make eye contact with him

 

stimmyabby:

“you will tell me what i want.” i said. “everyone tells me what i want. i’m tough as nails, and i’m not afraid to display aggressive behavior”

 

stimmyabby:

i got into this job because one time in fifth grade i asked my special teacher why people don’t like me, and she told me to be a detective and figure it out. i took that completely literally, and here we are today

 

stimmyabby:

maybe i should throw away all my detective memorabilia so that i can hug my dad for the first time

 

stimmyabby:

“i know you’re a detective,” my mom sniffled, “but sometimes i feel like the real detective, trying to figure out how to finally help you”

 

stimmyabby:

the only mystery i cannot solve is the mystery of why these nice ladies keep making me play with special blocks. i have literally no theories about why this is happening

 

stimmyabby:

“i didn’t solve the case, and i let a second train get murdered!” i cried. “i’m a bad detective!” “oh, honey, no,” my mom soothed, “you’re not a bad detective, you’re just special, and sometimes that means things are a little bit harder for you”

 

stimmyabby:

he handed me the pictures of the suspects. i crossed out their eyes so i could look at their faces.

 

stimmyabby:

i got the call late at night. “TEXT ME” i shouted into the phone

 

stimmyabby:

“there’s been a terrible murder.” “that makes 231,” i said, twirling my hair. i like numbers.

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves that went on for legs. i reminded myself to make eye contact, like my special teacher told me

 

stimmyabby:

“ain’t she a beauty?” i asked. my special teacher had been working with me on saying “isn’t.” “a genuine Horse .75. i got her 12 years and 37 days ago and she weighs exactly 14 ounces. i call her Melissa, after my special teacher. she’s almost as good as a train.”

 

stimmyabby:

i took out my bottle of whiskey, and started to read the label aloud

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a private eye. that means i think eyes should be private. why do people have to look at each other’s eyes all the time?

 

stimmyabby:

the ceiling fan moved slowly in my grimy office, slowly like someone about to give up on the world. i stared up, up, up at it, distracted from my obsessive cleaning. it had curves in all the right places

 

stimmyabby:

the whole world seemed black and white, like an old film, or my thinking

 

stimmyabby:

i took my gun out of the pocket of my trench coat, which i was wearing because of my sensory issues

 

stimmyabby:

with my gun smashed​ to pieces on the floor and the criminal’s gun pointed right at me, it seemed like just about the right time to elope

 

maybesimon:

this is the best thing in the world

 

ilzolende:

#(it took me a while to understand that last one though) #(I think the joke is that the protagonist is using “elope” to mean “run away”) #(oblivious to the specifically marriage-related meaning it has in practice?)

That term is actually often used to describe “autistics wandering off”, do a web search for “elopement autism” or something.

Ah, okay. I don’t think I’ve heard that usage before. (Or maybe I just haven’t heard it in ages: most of my experience with autism-blogging was in the late 00′s.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #oh look an update #the more you know #autism

stimmyabby:

autie-stereotype-crime-noir story

 

stimmyabby:

i like clues because they make sense, unlike people, who have legs that go on for days. how can a leg go on for days? i don’t know. help

 

stimmyabby:

i got the call late at night: “there’s been a murder on the orient express.” i knew i had to take the case immediately, because that is a TRAIN

 

stimmyabby:

i have been told i am “gritty” and “hardboiled”, maybe because i eat so many eggs and crunch the bits of shell between my teeth

 

stimmyabby:

“he’s the killer!” i said. “wait, no he’s not. wait, all these people look the same, which one is which again?”

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a straight shooter who plays by my own rules, all 376 of them that I have in this annotated binder

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a lose cannon, in fact, i have been institutionalized for erratic behavior

 

stimmyabby:

my job as a detective is made harder by the fact that i am physically incapable of telling a lie or bluffing but made easier by the fact that i have no emotions about anything but trains. once a train was murdered, and i couldn’t stop crying

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves in all the right places. i like curves, because they make sense, unlike people

 

stimmyabby:

i like my liquor hard, and my social interactions harder

 

stimmyabby:

i’m the best detective around, but my fees are high, and i only take payment in trains

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves in all the right places. she was a graph i was making about trains. in the other room, my dad was crying because i wouldn’t make eye contact with him

 

stimmyabby:

“you will tell me what i want.” i said. “everyone tells me what i want. i’m tough as nails, and i’m not afraid to display aggressive behavior”

 

stimmyabby:

i got into this job because one time in fifth grade i asked my special teacher why people don’t like me, and she told me to be a detective and figure it out. i took that completely literally, and here we are today

 

stimmyabby:

maybe i should throw away all my detective memorabilia so that i can hug my dad for the first time

 

stimmyabby:

“i know you’re a detective,” my mom sniffled, “but sometimes i feel like the real detective, trying to figure out how to finally help you”

 

stimmyabby:

the only mystery i cannot solve is the mystery of why these nice ladies keep making me play with special blocks. i have literally no theories about why this is happening

 

stimmyabby:

“i didn’t solve the case, and i let a second train get murdered!” i cried. “i’m a bad detective!” “oh, honey, no,” my mom soothed, “you’re not a bad detective, you’re just special, and sometimes that means things are a little bit harder for you”

 

stimmyabby:

he handed me the pictures of the suspects. i crossed out their eyes so i could look at their faces.

 

stimmyabby:

i got the call late at night. “TEXT ME” i shouted into the phone

 

stimmyabby:

“there’s been a terrible murder.” “that makes 231,” i said, twirling my hair. i like numbers.

 

stimmyabby:

she had curves that went on for legs. i reminded myself to make eye contact, like my special teacher told me

 

stimmyabby:

“ain’t she a beauty?” i asked. my special teacher had been working with me on saying “isn’t.” “a genuine Horse .75. i got her 12 years and 37 days ago and she weighs exactly 14 ounces. i call her Melissa, after my special teacher. she’s almost as good as a train.”

 

stimmyabby:

i took out my bottle of whiskey, and started to read the label aloud

 

stimmyabby:

i’m a private eye. that means i think eyes should be private. why do people have to look at each other’s eyes all the time?

 

stimmyabby:

the ceiling fan moved slowly in my grimy office, slowly like someone about to give up on the world. i stared up, up, up at it, distracted from my obsessive cleaning. it had curves in all the right places

 

stimmyabby:

the whole world seemed black and white, like an old film, or my thinking

 

stimmyabby:

i took my gun out of the pocket of my trench coat, which i was wearing because of my sensory issues

 

stimmyabby:

with my gun smashed​ to pieces on the floor and the criminal’s gun pointed right at me, it seemed like just about the right time to elope

 

maybesimon:

this is the best thing in the world


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #autism #(it took me a while to understand that last one though) #(I think the joke is that the protagonist is using ”elope” to mean ”run away”) #(oblivious to the specifically marriage-related meaning it has in practice?)


{{next post in sequence}}

{{previous post in sequence}}


If anyone’s wondering who Jesse Bering is and why he’s related to that quote from yesterday:

A few years ago I was listening to Science for the People (as I used to do), and they had an interview with Jesse Bering about his then-recent book Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us. He was going on about how men’s sexualities are narrow and stable while women’s sexualities are broad and fluid, a spectrum with exclusive paraphiles at one end and @sinesalvatorem at the other.

And this felt really familiar, and at first I wasn’t sure why. And then I realised:

This was not the first time that I had been accused of having an extreme male brain.


Tags:

#the ”paraphilia is quintessentially masculine” people and the ”autism is quintessentially masculine” people #should get together and study whether the two things are correlated #or they might have already I don’t know #now I’m curious #oh look an original post #sexuality and lack thereof #gender #autism


{{next post in sequence}}

flyingpurplepizzaeater:

Faced with the concept that autism is an extreme male brain and simultaneously told that they just think they are boys due to their autistic traits, AFAB autistic persons would find themselves with no allowable gender identities.

Alyssa Hillary, Criptiques

 

slartibartfastibast:

Stan Gooch was rambling about this in the 70s.

 

isaacsapphire:

Huh, sounds up my alley.


Tags:

#yeah pretty much #(see also Jesse Bering) #gender #autism


{{next post in sequence}}

funereal-disease:

ladyautie:

Are you more of a “talk like a textbook and pronounce every single syllable” or a “chew my words until it’s coming out all garbled” autistic person ?

The former, but my metamour is 100% the latter, and I think it’s super cute how my partner is dating both ends of the spectrum.


Tags:

#garbled #I’d like to be an enunciator but it just doesn’t work #(although) #(I wonder how much of my garbling is *actually* some kind of natural baseline) #(and how much of it is an adaptation to being unable to receive *or send* conversational turn-taking signals) #(perhaps this is just the speaking style that results) #(when you take as a given that people *will* talk over you) #(and try to rush as many words out as possible before that happens) #(…maybe I *don’t* want to be an enunciator) #that excuse for communication called speech #autism

brain-pleasedont:

 

sinesalvatorem:

robustcornhusk:

sinesalvatorem:

I feel like this is the kind of conversation that would make @wayward-sidekick go “no no no wrong wrong WRONG”

Because saying “I’m fine” in response to being asked how you’re doing is only supposed to happen if you’re trying to avoid a conversation. That’s how polite answers work! You use them to make the other person stop trying to speak to you, basically.

If you’re asked how you’re doing by someone you’re trying to start a conversation with, you never say just “fine”. You give a descriptive sentence or two. You try to optimise that sentence for containing as many potential things to talk about as possible, in the hopes that the other person will find one of them interesting enough to ask about.

If I were asked how I was doing by a stranger right now, I’d say “I’m doing pretty good! I recently got back from a trip to [visa country redacted] with an American friend of mine because I was interviewing for a visa.”

With the obvious potential follow up questions being:

  • When did you get back?
  • How was your stay in [visa country]?
  • Have you been to [visa country] before / do you like it there?
  • Who’s your friend / why did they go with you?
  • How did the interview go / did you get approved?
  • Which country are you travelling to?
  • What kind of visa did you get?
  • etc etc etc

There is no question you can ask someone who says they’re fine. “fine” kills a conversation. That’s its job. Like, you can’t even ask someone “why are you fine?” the way you can ask “why are you happy/sad/angry?”

There is just… Literally no worse way to attempt a conversation. But people do this all the time. I don’t get it at all. But, like, if you actually want to talk to your mutuals more, consider… Not choosing literally the worst response to a question that you can.

This has been Moderate Social Competence with Alison.

I just realized I answer that question like that, all the time, even when I want to talk to he person, because… somehow I internalized the idea that talking about good things in my life is bragging and talking about bad things is complaining; I’m supposed to talk to the other person about their life.

This runs into problems when both people in the conversation have this idea.

Oh, wow, yes. That would definitely run into a problem.

The ideal is for both of you to talk about your lives. The Social Optimum is something like 50/50, but it can depend a lot on who’s the better storyteller and who’s the better listener in a given situation.

(Though, like, it’s important to note that being the better listener isn’t the Important Virtuous Role to take. People like listening to good storytellers. Ideally you want to be good at both of these things so you can swap roles a lot.)

If you aren’t sure who should do what and the other person isn’t going first, you probably want to start by giving the other person opportunities to ask about your life. Then you talk a bit about what they asked about before asking them if they have any related experiences.

Examples:

You: […] and that’s why I don’t like coffee.
Person: Yeah, me neither.
You: What drinks do you like, then?

or

You: […] and I really don’t understand why someone would like golf in the first place.
Person: I like golf!
You: You do? What do you like about it?

or

You: […] and I can’t believe he’d just leave like that!
Person: Yeah, that sucks.
You: Has anything like that happened to you before?

So, like, things in that general vein. You always want to be able to get the other person to talk sometimes, and this is a great way to lead into it. Especially because most people are more comfortable talking about their own lives if you’ve opened up first (especially if it’s a similar topic).

And, if someone has just finished telling you about something in their life, it’s usually nice to respond by talking about similar things in your own life so it seems like you’re ~relating~. The major exception to this is situations where it might seem like you’re one-upping the other person by talking about your own thing.

sinesalvatorem’s tags from her first post in the chain: #there are probably so many people who feel called out right now  #i love you anyway  #even though you don’t know how this ‘talking’ thing works

Actually, I feel the opposite of called out right now.

See, I internalised much the same idea as robustcornhusk, but not “somehow”: I was actually explicitly told to always respond to “How are you?” with “Fine.” I’ve seen multiple socialisation PSAs to the effect of:

“Nobody actually cares how you’re doing, or if they do it’s only by pure coincidence. ‘How are you’/’Fine’ is a ritualised call-and-response greeting, not a literal question/answer pair. Only ignorant autistics or pedantic assholes treat ‘How are you?’ as an actual question to be given an actual answer, and someone who acts like a pedantic asshole–intentionally or unintentionally–is not someone other people want to be around.”

(Of course, the sort of people who think this is rude are also the sort of people who won’t tell you that to your face. I don’t think I’ve ever even heard such PSAs from anyone who knew me personally, just in general broadcasts.)

I usually do still give informative answers to “How are you?” when I’m looking to start a conversation, and (to bring in another branch) I do use recent interesting events from my life as conversation starters. But I do it because, of the options available to someone at my level of social competence, it’s the least of all evils. (Hell if I know how the PSA-writers start their conversations. Probably something too subtle for me to pull off.) I generally have a lingering awareness that this is the Wrong Thing To Do.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #infohazards #autism