do you ever have a conversation and think “I am not heterosexual enough for this”
Tags:
#relatable #sexuality and lack thereof #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Be careful of Asexuals y’all, I heard they aren’t fucking around
Tags:
#asexuality #puns #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
I have about a hundred ace/aro flag condoms left over from Pride and now I need to figure out what to do with them.
Market them as water balloons
That was the joke, but I still have about a hundred of them left.
Tags:
#asexuality #aromanticism #juxtaposition #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #nsfw? #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
This review was Too Hot For Tumblr™, so here it is, brought back from the dead.
Also, looking for more feedback/thoughts about the way the pictures and video are handled here, as they’re a bit more involved (and graphic, although no actual nudity is involved) than the earlier examples.
I like the three-tier description/filter/original system for the images. I think it fulfils both halves of the dual purpose of content warnings very well: giving [people who don’t want to see it at all] an opportunity to back out, and giving [people who are okay with choosing to see it but don’t want it to take them by surprise] a heads-up.
The descriptions are good both at giving a chance for informed consent and at letting you know what’s going on (if you choose not to look); the filtered images are definitely less in-your-face than the originals, offering both a way to see what’s happening and a way to prepare yourself before moving on to the originals.
I find the tabbed display intuitive and easy to use, though to be fair I’ve only tried it on a laptop and not on mobile.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #asexuality #The Last Tumblr Apocalypse #nsfw text
so like I have no idea where I’m going with this but
people whose lived experience is close enough to harmful tropes that they feel uncomfortable talking about it
like “you’re not asexual you’re just repressed” well as it happened I was not asexual and I was repressed as hell (I was/am aromantic and had it super thoroughly drilled into me that sexual attraction without romantic attraction… wasn’t really attraction or something? idk every time I try to figure out my upbringing it gets weirder)
or like I have an oc who’s demi (or in one ‘verse he’s demi, AUs man) but he IDed as ace for like twenty years before the “I am now sexually attracted to my life partner” kicked in and so I feel reeeeeally awkward about writing that ‘verse because I have no idea how I’d keep it from being “you just haven’t met the right person yet” without, like, actively stopping the story to write a screed about it ;P
but like does anyone else have this problem? what (if anything) do you do about it? commiserate with me! ;S
Ah, that old double-bind. The one where, for instance, some people don’t have a right person to find, and also who cares if there is a right person they’re still ace for intents and purposes now, but you only have the chance to say one of those things and whichever wrong you correct you’re implicitly condoning the other. It is especially difficult when you personally do happen to fit the narrative.
I look kind of like I fit the first one, since I did formerly ID as repressed, but I don’t think I actually do fit it. Nevertheless, when I encounter that one (which I almost never do directly; I hang out in pretty ace-friendly spaces) I always tackle the “so what if I am?” aspect over the “I’m not” aspect. I figure I’m more believable on that one, plus the “I’m not” aspect is generally tackled more often.
I do have a narrative that I both disagree with and fit, and that’s “rape fetishism isn’t an inherent/valid* part of a fetishist’s sexuality; they’re just into it because Society doesn’t give them any better options. If they were in a culture where consent was an established Thing, the fetish would fall away.”
This is bullshit on multiple levels. It also happened to me. I was rather annoyed when I realised, partly because do you know how hard it is to find consensual hypnosis porn (well, obviously it would have to be difficult or this wouldn’t have happened in the first place) and partly because I resented supporting the pro-narrative argument by existing.
I haven’t tried to respond to that narrative since it happened. Any one thing I say would be undermining the others, and–unlike the repression one–I have no clue where to place my focus.
*In a culture with heavy reliance on “born this way” messages, these two words are treated as interchangeable, which is a big chunk (but not the entirety) of the problem.
Tags:
#(June 2015) #I ran into a harmful trope today and I am feeling this feel again so much #the [models in my head of various assholes I have known] are being *so smug* and I *hate* it #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #asexuality #sexuality and lack thereof #venting #rape tw?
One way I’ve heard it explained is that it’s not necessarily about sex at all. It’s often more about the power dynamics, the role play, things like that.
However, I personally have no experience with any of that, so would anyone who is more involved care to field this one?
Question for the mind control fetishist community that is inexplicably over-represented among my followers:
I’ve recently become curious about the theory I’ve heard that asexual people who have kinks often have an autophilic sexuality. That is, their primary sexual interest is tied to them achieving some specific state. They’d have the same range of sexual response as allosexuals, but in response to achieving their preferred state to varyingly precise degrees.
For example, some asexuals are into amputation, or depictions of amputees. They often are more interested in being amputees themselves than in other people who are amputees. Often they’ll enjoy fantasising about being amputees, and further prefer situations where they can pretend to be amputees, and sometimes even desire actual amputation.
And I just remembered that lots of people who follow this blog are part of the mind control kink community! Which always surprises me, because I don’t think I post any mind control related content, and am honestly really sexually boring. But, like, I’ll totally give you guys more shout outs if you can help me learn about this.
My question is: Are asexual mind control fetishists more interested in being mentally controlled/impaired or in controlling others / the mental impairments of other? The autosexuality theory implies that asexuals should overwhelmingly prefer to be controlled/impaired, or be most aroused by the thought of their own altered mental state.
Also, autosexualities are in general correlated with being transgender. Are asexuals in the mind control kink community more likely to be transgender or feel gender dysphoric?
Right now I’m just curious about whether there’s any anecdotal support for this random thought, in case it’s worth doing a survey of. Would anyone be willing to tell me if their personal impression of the community supports or debunks this hypothesis? @acemindbreaker, @brin-bellway, @bannableoffense, @enscenic and anyone else who might have an opinion on this.
Here you go, a sample size of one!
I consider myself asexual (I get squicked by sexual things despite sometimes being sexually active), mind control/hypnosis fetish from a very young age (like a paraphilia, I need to think stuff about it to get off), and somewhat gender wonky in some indeterminate way.
Before puberty and probably before age 18 of so, I was solely “autosexual” in the way you describe it: my sexuality was entirely about hypnosis or mind control and how “deep” I would go into it would theoretically correspond with level of arousal and sexual enjoyment.
I figured, since I had an interest in kink as well and was sexually active, that this meant that I was solely a submissive.
As I got older I started experimenting with switching roles (hypnotic and not) and for the most part it was a service top type thing for a long time, until cc and I really got going.
I discovered a love for dominance, especially ownership and most importantly for this, objectification.
When I hypnotize cc, I am objectifying her in that I’m using her as porn and that’s part of what turns me on. I’ve always liked looking at porn of hypnotized or mind controlled subjects (as we do) and for a long time I sort of thought it was because I was projecting myself into their place.
Not always, I think. Definitely used to be that way. But then I discovered enjoyment of just seeing it as third party porn and getting off to it in that way, separating it from myself.
I still consider myself a bottom-leaning switch, and there is nothing quite like being hypnotized, but there is a different intensity in hypnotizing someone else that I’ve grown to love as well.
In terms of gender, I’m still figuring it out. I questioned being trans as a teenager. I’m pretty comfy in my AFAB body nowadays but not always and I’ve never felt like a strong pull towards the concept of gender one way or another, or a tendency to fluctuate.
Gender of my partners doesn’t matter to me, it’s the D/s vibe I get. (I’ll admit I tend to prefer male dominants and female submissives, just as a matter of looking at numbers.)
Tags:
#(April 2018) #this one doesn’t really count as an aglet but it’s interesting #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text #asexuality #gender
I think like most emotions it would be kind of self-reinforcing, in that once you’re at one end of the scale the other end seems unappealing, but it would still be good to have the option available.
…do people normally find a given level of libido self-reinforcing?
Only middling-libido!mes want to stay that way long-term; I get sick of high libido after ~1 day and of low libido after ~1 week. (Unless I’m too distracted by other things to notice the vague sense of being incomplete that happens when my libido is too low for too long, which is how I spent the month of April. But even that is more “being sufficiently fucked up that your damage-assessment mechanism is also damaged”, rather than actually being okay with it.)
Mind you, when I see other people complaining of loss of libido, they’re almost always talking about practical effects and not the inherent badness of having an ego-syntonic part of your psyche go missing, which makes me wonder if maybe ego-neutral libidos are more common than typical-minding would lead me to believe.
Kind of my feeling is that I often get the feeling of IQ reduced by 25% around hot woman + weird effects on inhibitions (both reduced and increased. Which is sort of self-reinforcing.
But is also why I agree with the anon that I don’t really like a lot of my sex drive.
I would kind of like it if I could turn off my feelings of sexual and romantic attraction 2/3rds of the time. And thats a lot of the reason. I often don’t like a lot of the effect that it has on me.
And I also wish I could shut off a lot of inappropriate times I’m attracted to someone or a lot of the feelings of unrequited crushes and such.
…okay, in hindsight I guess I should have figured my other divergences would imply divergence here as well. I had…kind of forgotten that sex drives could have interpersonal effects, since mine doesn’t really.
(I wish you good luck and good coping.)
Yah.
For me its very difficult to separate any feeling of sex drive from attraction to particular people that I find hot.
While I haven’t actually had sex yet, even when jerking off, its pretty difficult to separate the feeling of sex from individual attraction. Its pretty much inseparable from fantasizing about the people I find attractive.
Tags:
#(October 2017) #conversational aglets #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #asexuality
Brinens and Things 