#Amenta RP #Amenta #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #nsfw text #injury cw #death mention #suicide cw? #I feel like this probably deserves some additional warning tag but I’m not sure what #(they do say @industrialbruise is his own content warning but probably a lot of my followers would not know that) #high context jokes
People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.
I love this fucking book
“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.
“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”
there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying
I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.”
And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”
Tags:
#The Martian #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #huh maybe I should read this book #(though my to-read list is way too long as it is so I don’t seriously expect to get around to it) #death mention #(which is related to the previous post actually) #(I tag very strictly and consistently for death) #(because I determine whether to tag for it using my seven-year-old self as a model) #(and seven-year-old me was extremely sensitive to even the slightest mention of death)
but wait, because there is a common expression that really rustles my jimmies, that is “au jour d’aujourd’hui” which basically means “as of now”, but if you translate it literally it becomes “in the day of the day of today”
if i could physically kill the french language i would
five words in a trenchcoat
Tags:
#language #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #only a little bit fact-checked #(and my Packaging French is not enough to let me check it against personal experience) #death mention
I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the stuggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.
SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole.
I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.
This is never not funny
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #juxtaposition #story ideas I will never write
–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report” by Mallory Ortberg
“It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.”
MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING
“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.”
THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.
“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.”
“He found my lack of faith disturbing? I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect. I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.”
MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND
I’m pretty sure the force *has* destroyed planets.
Yeah, my fiance clarified this morning that the force has been used to destroy multiple planets. However, this occurred several thousand years prior at a lower level of canonicity, so Motti can hardly be blamed for not remembering that.
Tags:
#Star Wars #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
The news site Slashdot (“news for nerds, stuff that matters”) is celebrating its 20 year anniversary this October. What could be geekier than celebrating with the help of an open-source neural network?
Neural networks are a type of machine learning program that learn by example, rather than by a human programmer feeding them rules. Whatever the headlines contain, whatever common words and rhythms, a neural network will do its best to imitate. I’ve trained an open-source neural network called char-rnn to imitate all kinds of human things, like paint colors, guinea pig names, and craft beer names.
Slashdot sent me a list of all the headlines they’ve ever run, over 162,000 in all, and asked me to train a neural network to try to generate more.
Alternuting Your Computer The Internet Spectrum Violated Microsoft To Develop Programming Law Star Trek Creates Free Memory Launching the Linux Group Socially Microsoft Releases New Months More Pong Users for Kernel Project Nintendo Goes Canadian Edition to Customers New State of Second Life Sexual Security To Allow Australia Programming Supercomputer Library In Star Wars What are The Final Fantasy Review of the Wireless Monster? Portable Mail With Spidey Law New 5400 GPL Formed into An Internet Dvorak on Mario Games? Half-Life 2X Speed Released Ban Manhunt 2 Better than Linux? Vista Releases Denial of the Mumble New Company Revises Super-Things For Problems The Dead of Managing Moneys? Judge Releases Sony Practices in Death Doom’s On Worldwire Networks Sun Releases Enterprise in Smackware I Wants To Control of the Net Nintendo Can Start in the Wild Button? Secondors Talk Open Source For Super-Bork? AOL On Beam Doubt
Some familiar personalities of the tech industry make an appearance:
Microsoft Releases Bill Gates Service Start Steve Jobs To Be Good Shatner Awards Up Towards A Game Car Challenge
Cell phones appear to be have been weird in the early days:
Stem Cell Phone Standards in Space Why Are Blow Systems Taking Your Phone? New Unreal Tournament Phone Reviews Doubts Forget To Support Flat Spam Phone
And you find companies doing rather unexpected things:
Microsoft Announces Mac OS X Released Intel Releasing Linux In A Networks Sun Upgrades Apple Devices Corel Launches $100 Laptop Microsoft Announces Firefox Portal Mozilla’s Audio Caroffice Apple Finally Launches Microsoft
I produced the above headlines by allowing the neural network a high creativity setting, so it could range over many different headline topics that it’s seen over and over. But it’s also fun to turn the creativity down near zero, so the neural network can try to generate the most quintessential headlines:
All The Company Programming Software Software? Some Computer Computer Solution of the New Company Computer More Anti-Spam For Software Computer Mac OS X Interview with Linux Computer Mac OS X Accused of the Business Sony Plans To Start Patent System For All Time Security Hole For Security Hole Security Hole in the Star Trek Computer Computer Computer Computer Software?
Decade 2: 2007 – 2017
The neural network had a tougher time with decade 2 – it seems the headlines became longer and more complex, as Slashdot experimented with new formats and new topics. The neural network struggled to create grammatical headlines as a result. But it still did its best to reflect the new topics of the last decade. Compared to the late 1990s and early 2000s, some companies and topics disappeared, while the coverage of Apple in particular exploded. Star Trek and Star Wars, however, remain perennial Slashdot favorites. Here are some neural network-generated headlines for 2007-2017:
Twitter Discovered In the Pirate Bay Google Bacon Medal To Contract Computational Lab Scientists Discover Free Wi-Fi Store In the US Steve Jobs Sues Death of the Future Apple Seeks To Be Become Windows 10 Has Been Control the Desktops Stanford Computer Scientists Develop Super Man Sales For Computer Science Star Wars Hacked In Life On the iPhone Computer Finds Court Broke Math For Secret Company How Do You Design To Stay Them Bomb Ask Slashdot: How Clinton Uses Display For Android Chips On Netflix Court From the Jobs People ‘Fork” At a Flaw Refused The Pirate Bay Tracking Storage Security For Windows 10 German Porn Update To Compete At CNSR Healthy Court Says Supreme Court Can Be Lingeries Apple Says the Moon Project To Pay $1.7 Billion For Free Software Steve Jobs Allowed To Deal With Solar Power Apple Sues Apple To Get Flash Mathematics Microsoft Slashdot: How To Build a Bad Privacy For Windows 10 Twitter That We Use Facebook To Receive The Life Linux Kernel 3.1.0 Launches In Late, Facebook To Sue Star Trek The One-Department For Alleged For Connectivity: 3-D Printed Baby Black Hole Proposed
My favorite part, though? The Slashdot headlines that appeared to come from an alternate, much more advanced, somewhat terrifying timeline:
Google Returns To the Space Station Mac OS X Project Announces Space Station Sony Announces Mars Rover Release Google Patents Intelligent Space Telescope Officials Release Android Apps For New Space Telescope Star Trek Control of the Wild Start Up Scientists Army Interviewed Company Computer Releases Cloning Crime Building A Nano-Tech Back Full Life On The Linux Chernobyl Announces Company And Educators SGI Launches Space Station FreeBSD Base Scientific Hits the Moon Red Hat Releases Linux Games And Moon Apple’s Moon Review About New Moons of a Company Looking For Mars Landers to Linux Mars Rover Set for Alien China Congress To Buy Mars Mister Building a Top 100 Company For Mars Apple Considering Debut in People Processors Apple vs. Biology Details An Android Bans Secret Project For Console Devices Your Own Portals U.S. Considering Death of the Solar System Black Holes from Digital Dell Black Hole Sension of the Linux Microsoft’s Lab Changes “Space” IBM Moves to The Matrix Super Planet Wars Solved
The quintessential headline, though? When I trained the neural network with all 20 years of Slashdot headlines, then turned down the creativity level to near zero, I reveal the following essential Slashdot headlines, distilled from 20 years of technology news:
Sun Sues Open Source Project Content Sun Sues Anti-Spam Computers Sun Sues Security Flaw Contest Sun Sues New Star Trek To Stop The Math Sun Sues Anti-Spam Standards And The Star Wars To Stop Computers Star Wars Companies Are Streaming the Star Wars Star Wars To Support Linux Development Apple Settles The Future of Star Wars Apple Releases Secure State of the World Apple Sues Apple To Start The Solar Power Project Sony Sues Apple Server For Seconds Off From SpaceX Project Ask Slashdot: Do We Want To Be the Computers? The Desist of the Planet
Also: POLL! I’m collecting names of Halloween costumes for training a future neural network. Enter as many as you like (no email address required).
Ask Slashdot: Do We Want To Be the Computers?
Tags:
#long post #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(my favourites are ”Scientists Discover Free Wi-Fi Store in US” and ”Facebook to Sue Star Trek”) #(though I agree that ”Do We Want to Be the Computers?” is pretty great even if it does break Betteridge’s Law) #((mind you I’m not sure uploading *in itself* appeals to me)) #((I’m sure silicon-based substrates have their own problems and I have more experience coping with my current body’s problem set)) #((and given that I am honestly impressed this laptop has made it to nearly its third anniversary of purchase)) #((I have no reason to expect they’d even be more durable overall)) #((so really the nice thing about uploading is being able to evacuate to a new body when your current one gives out)) #((for which a cortical stack and the occasional previously-uninhabited clone body would do just fine)) #(((and some offsite backups in case the stack is unrecoverable might be helpful but do leave you more open to forknapping))) #tag rambles #transhumanism #death tw
#Amenta #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #high context jokes #(no even higher context than that) #(like the amount of context needed to parse the sentence ”reds are a clean caste” is not even enough) #(this is one of those posts I reblog mostly for the amusement of my future self) #((this amusement not to be taken as expressing an opinion regarding the statement itself))
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 