kvothe-kingkiller:

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guess who ingested some foreign objects!

also he has now been officially weighed and he clocks in at a whole 7 pounds. (hes not malnourished hes just leetle)

kvothe-kingkiller:

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bastard man ate some rubber bands

kvothbloodless:

hi im sorry but “patient: the void” is the greatest string of letters ever created

kvothe-kingkiller:

ikr, I died when my mom sent me that picture

kvothe-kingkiller:

wow okay this got a lot of notes overnight

yes my cats name is The Void and for good reason because most of the pictures we try to take of him end up like this

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and yes he is in that last picture ^^ youre gonna need to jack the screen brightness up to find him

or alternatively:

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viandpuppycat:

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mr. void, would you like to meet the abyss?

kvothe-kingkiller:

twin agents of darkness

mycatshuman:

This is so cute.

eriquin:

To pet this cat to first have to sign a statement saying you are not Anish Kapoor.


Tags:

#(I am reluctant to reblog posts with lots of images these days because it makes archiving harder) #(but rules are rules (I should know‚ I wrote them) and the circumstances are not dire enough for me to make an exception) #(sorry future self‚ I’m sure further-future selves will appreciate your effort) #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #vantablack saga #cat #adorable #maryellencarter tagged this #high context jokes #and I might not have thought to tag it that but I see their point


{{Good news: I’ve figured out some more efficient image-mirroring techniques over the past year–“Classic” blocks and upload-by-URL are your friends–and inline images are now only very mildly annoying. Although I *will* still have to be careful to stay under the total media-storage limit: I’m at 97.7% right now.}}

{{previous post in sequence}}


serinemolecule:

brin-bellway:

serinemolecule:

(Omitting a huge reblog chain to reply to)

@brin-bellway:

What do you *use* a 5-hour laptop battery for, anyway? I mean, more battery life is always better all else equal, but when I need to computer for significant lengths of time off-grid that is what smartphones are for.

Computers are just better than phones for every single task. [1] Sure, you use phones for off-grid time now, but that’s just because your computer doesn’t last long enough for that. I have a MacBook Air with 13 hours of battery life and it’s nice being able to use it all.

It’s also nice when I’m at home, being able to use it in the kitchen, on the sofa, etc. I move around a lot and it’s nice not having to also lug around the charger and plug it in everywhere.

If I wanted to leave a computer plugged in all the time, I’d be using a desktop, not a laptop.


[1] With some exceptions: Phones are really only good for very specific things like “taking photos”, “using mobile apps of companies too lazy to provide a desktop/web version” (I’m calling you out, Google Assistant and Pleco).

I do agree that laptops are better than phones whenever possible, which means the entire point of smartphones is for the times that it’s *not* possible. Why are smartphones so ubiquitous, then? Why do high-end phones even exist at all, if that kind of money can get you a laptop with double-digit-hour battery life?

(I mean, there’s something to be said for the smaller size. But laptops can be made pretty small too if you need them to be, and as I understand it most people haven’t already stuffed their bag with as much gear as possible [link] and would have space for a small laptop.)

I use a laptop rather than a desktop for two reasons:

1. I can use a couch rather than needing, like, a dedicated desk and shit.

2. I can take it to hotel rooms. (This was more important when we were richer and spending a week or two a year in hotel rooms, but there’s still reason 1 to think of.)

I use my laptop battery under the following conditions:

1. When the living room is too noisy and I need to temporarily move to another room. (Even then, I can just bring the power cord with me and plug it in there, and I do if I expect to be there for more than an hour and a half or so.)

2. Power outages. The *only* time that I wish my laptop battery life was longer, since it *is* annoying having to rely on a smartphone in my own goddamn house.

Well, I mean, I kind of glossed over the biggest advantage of smartphones over laptops: General portability, in terms of stuff like “can put in a pocket or small purse” (joke’s on everyone else, I just go around with a purse big enough to fit a small laptop), and “does not add much weight for you to carry”, and “can be easily brought out and used and put away”.

(Even a small laptop would be awkward to just take out and use while walking or standing in line.)

Which I assume is the real reason people usually use phones, because I can’t imagine anyone would prefer typing on a touchscreen to typing on a keyboard. People talk about how phones are fine for passive content consumption, but I was led to believe the youth of today spend all their time texting!

But like for the specific case of “using a phone because you’re off-grid for significant amounts of time”, clearly a laptop would be better.

Also this is really making me wish I’d taken a picture of my setup in Seattle, in which I totally set up my desktop right in front of the living room couch.

Also, nice utility belt! People are usually impressed when my bag seems to always have everything they need, but I still don’t have that much stuff.

>>I can’t imagine anyone would *prefer* typing on a touchscreen to typing on a keyboard. People talk about how phones are fine for passive content consumption, but I was led to believe the youth of today spend all their time texting!<<

I don’t know about those people who text all the time, but if *I* needed to do significant amounts of off-grid typing, I’d probably get one of those foldable keyboards. (The hard kind that merely fold in half or thirds, not the flexible kind that roll up: we have one of the flexible ones, and it is annoying to use.) I don’t think I have *quite* enough space for one right now, and I certainly wouldn’t use it often enough to justify…I think they were $30? But if it became a thing I routinely needed I’m pretty sure I could arrange to have one with me.

>>But like for the specific case of “using a phone because you’re off-grid for significant amounts of time”, clearly a laptop would be better.<<

I suspect you’re interpreting “off-grid” more strictly than I’ve been using it. If you do not, at this moment, have access to an electrical outlet and a Wi-Fi hotspot, you’re off-grid in every respect relevant to a computer, even if you are in the middle of a city at the time. If I’m standing in line, I’m probably off-grid (unless it’s a fancy enough line to have Wi-Fi, in which case I am only partly off-grid).

(for anyone about to say “but mobile data”: do I strike you as somebody with a good enough combination of situation and sanity to allow herself a data plan? [link])

(The main reason I wanted one of those solar-powered camping-focused phone chargers is *not* because I actually go camping: it’s because if my computer battery is finite I’m more reluctant than I should be to use it, the same way that people playing RPGs are stereotypically overly reluctant to use consumable buffs if they can’t reliably source replacements. It gives me peace of mind to know I can keep recharging my phone *even if the power outage continues*, even if in practice a power pack of the same size with no self-recharge capability would easily last me through any power outage I’ve ever experienced.

(The longest power outage we’ve had was 16 hours, starting ~1 hour after I woke up and ending ~2 hours after I went to bed. At the time I had a smartphone with a not-particularly-sucky battery and no power pack: I used it in a mildly power-consumption-optimised way for the first couple hours or so (screen on, no video), then began optimising more strongly for low power consumption (screen off, audio only).))

>>Also, nice utility belt!<<

Thank you! :D


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”in which I totally set up my desktop right in front of the living room couch”) #reply via reblog #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #adventures in human capitalism


{{next post in sequence}}

a-bell-to-rise-and-die:

i went shoe shopping yesterday.

specifically, my mother took me to REI, to get new boots (i refuse to wear anything besides hiking boots. ostensibly, i need the support they offer my feet. in reality, i have never worn a good shoe that wasn’t a hiking boot and i have no idea.)

as it happened, i had no clue there was anything wrong with my old boots and remain somewhat unconvinced, but my mother was paying so i was happy enough to go to the store and try on a bunch of shoes

it was one of those shoe shopping trips. you know the ones. you put on a dozen pairs of shoes and instantly know they’re not right. your mother crows about how good they look and how they’ll get broken in, but you know. they’re not right. they’ll never be right. no amount of breaking in will fix it.

we were growing weary. the baby kept disappearing among the racks when we turned away for mere moments, and my mother had to go find him, usually in a pile of stuff he’d pulled down to play with. i didn’t come on those expeditions, because my foot is still injured—i need to conserve the few steps i have every day. the baby, at least, had a great time. he’s two and speaks only russian, and is this something of a terror to have in stores.

the moment i found the right boots was – how do i put this – climactic.

i slipped my foot into it and before i’d even tied the laces i knew. this was my boot. (my boot had been taken off a display area, so i only had the one. i rushed to ask an employee for a pair to it.)

the world, which i had been ignoring to try on boots, came back to me. i was desperately thirsty. my mother wanted to go home. the baby had disappeared again.

none of this came near the raw euphoria of finding he right boots. for long minutes, i couldn’t bear to take them off to buy them.

after i got home, the box sat in my room all evening. from the moment i woke up in the morning (okay, at 1:56pm), the box stared at me, taunting me. i wanted to put them on, i planned how i would put them on, but i couldn’t do it.

after several hours i gathered the rest of my outfit. in another hour, i put it on, followed, reverently, by the boots.

i started to clean my room, first taking out the trash, and found myself sorting my recycling.

it was then that i knew for certain that these were the boots. only god or new boots could compel me to sort my recycling, and i’m an atheist.


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #clothing

hybridzizi:

epikalstorms:

prince-gast:

Okay but to expound on my deaf!Harry post…

– Dumbledore contacts Lupin before Harry attends Hogwarts and has him learn sign language and hires him as an interpreter for Harry during classes

– Snape: “are you listening to me potter?”

Harry, speaking to the best of his ability: “to be fair I can’t listen to anyone, however I was, in fact, paying attention”

-Hermione tirelessly helping Harry with speech and pronunciation so he can get spells right

-Ron aggressively trying to learn sign language to communicate with Harry and he’s so embarrassed he can’t get the hang of it at first but Harry thinks it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him because what are friends??

-Draco, mouthing: “I hate you”

Harry, misreading hate as date: “If you wanted a date you should have said something sooner.”

-Harry signing rude things at Umbridge.

Umbridge: “What did he say!?”

Lupin: “he said you’re charming.”

-The entire Weasley family learning basic sign language for whenever Harry is with them, making him feel more at home since the Dursley’s never made a decent effort with it.

– McGonagall aware of Harry’s condition from observation at the Dursley’s prepared and learned sign language and signs when she can during her class, allowing Lupin the occasional break.

McGonagall: “You’re not sneaky Mr. Weasley; I very well know what you just signed.”

– Voldemort monologuing in sign language

Harry: “I’m sorry I don’t understand, I’m blind.”

Voldemort: “??????”

God Voldemort learning sign language just so he can monologue to his nemesis is honestly something he’s actually Edgy and Ridiculous enough to do

Voldemort, signing: “Harry Potter-”

Harry: *closes his eyes*

Voldemort: “Wha- no. Wormtail. Wormtail, make him open his eyes.”


Tags:

#Harry Potter #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the Voldemort bits)

openbookbells:

AU where Bella doesn’t TELL Edward that she knows, she just strolls into lunch one day and goes “hey guys, I’ve got a question for the table. Just for funsies, you know, just totally off the top of my head. Would you fuck a vampire, yes or no? I vote Yes.” And then stares across the cafeteria without blinking while Edward chokes.


Tags:

#Twilight #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

jadzeanna:

princekaisuncannyhotness:

jadzeanna:

silverelfmage:

jadzeanna:

I still can’t get over the entry in the ds9 sexy firemen calendar that’s just like that one photo of putin shirtless on a horse but recreated with dukat

There’s a calendar?

xjzbdkdb no but it exists in my mind. January is just Sisko standing at a stove cooking in the Starfleet vest and undershirt with his sleeves pushed up, but it degenerates and by December it’s just Quark naked except he’s covered in ice cream

do you want to share the other months? i’d like to know

This whole project is organized by Jadzia, of course.

January: Sisko cooking, sleeves pushed up. He looks relaxed and his smile can warm your heart.

February: Weyoun??? Like five of him

March: O’Brien posing stiffly next to a replicator

April: Odo in liquid form (the only time anyone could get a picture of him)

May: Morn, at his seat in Quark’s, clothing(?) unbuttoned.

June: Bashir doing the Anaconda pose in his silver onesie

July: Captain Boday. His skull isn’t the only thing that’s transparent.

August: Rom, hiding his nsfw bits w the communist manifesto

October: Garak in lingerie (nsfw link)

September: Putin!Dukat

November: A gorn, draped sensually on black silk sheets. (Its not ds9 but whatever)

December: Quark, naked and covered in ice cream. There’s a cone on his [redacted].

I didn’t forget Worf. There’s no force in heaven or earth that could have gotten him to pose for this calendar.


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”hiding his nsfw bits w the communist manifesto”) #nsfw text?

prongsmydeer:

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

 

twelvemonkeyswere:

no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies

 

thesanityclause:

Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book

 

septimusprime:

Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.

 

dreadpiratemary:

Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.

 

zero0000:

“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!”
“Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.”
“Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!”
“He can’t he needs them to see.”

 

animatedamerican:

it got better

 

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like

You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them

And there is literally no common sense 

Anywhere to be found

Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve 

 

kat8noghosts:

Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up

The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.

But, but, but, you know the one person

the one person

who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?

Severus Snape.

Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.

‘Severus, he is my cousin.’

And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it

That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’

and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’

and just

Spare. Snape goes spare.

 

laurathia:

Picturing Snape as Mr. Crocker from the Fairly Oddparents now.

 

mariana-oconnor:

Gerald White eventually becomes a fully registered animagus. When he turns into his animagus form right in front of Snape, Snape’s bursting at the seams, just pointing at him and spluttering:

‘HE’S A BIG BLACK DOG! A DOG – THAT IS BLACK. SIRIUS BLACK. BLACK DOG DOG BLACK.’

And Remus calmly says: “That’s absurd, Severus. Sirius Black was never an animagus and besides which, people’s names don’t have any influence over their animagus forms or anything like that. That’s ridiculous.”

And Snape yells: “Shut it WEREWOLF MCWEREWOLF!”

Everyone looks at Remus, who blinks and sighs as Gerald White turns back into his human form.

“Pure coincidence,” Gerald says. “My aunt was into Roman mythology. Has to happen sometimes.” Then he pauses to give Snape an overly concerned look. “Are you alright, Severus? You’re looking a little red.”

 

thehufflenerd:

^this is my new life

 

tooweirdtolivetoogaytodie:

im crying thanks for this

 

my-insanity-is-an-artform:

Another point in the direction of Gerald White Not Being Sirius Black is that everyone knows Sirius Black hated Severus Snape.

Gerald White bakes the ungrateful dungeon bat cookies and is always polite to him. It so nice that Gerald really wants to be friends.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I might have reblogged an earlier version of this already but this one is even better) #long post