one of the most fascinating youtube subcultures imo is the MRE taste testing community…like those folks who get their hands on military ready to eat meals and do unboxings and taste tests of them? because usually theyre perfectly normal and just interested in testing what militaries around the world eat right now. but some of these folks go the extra mile. they go so hard they threaten to destroy themselves with their own hubris. some of these people are flying towards the sun at alarming rates and are going to not only melt their wings but also their 100 year old preserved foods, causing them to plummet to their deaths, their corpses reduced to stewing in the seawater mixed with the remains of the WWII soviet pea soup they brought with them. im watching a dude eat meat from a 1902 british military ration right now. my dude is deadass out here calmly trying to become the last casualty of the fucking second boer war. as an archivist and general antiques lover ive put my hands on some horrifyingly old and dirty things but the idea of ingesting legitimate american civil war hardtack makes me want to get my stomach surgically removed and i am just so FASCINATED by these people who see these military antiques and think “nice, there’s lunch right there”
“the smell is just awful” SIR you are BOILING cow meat that predates the FIRST WORLD WAR you are boiling beef from a cow that existed at the same time as ELIZABETH CADY STANTON sir this can of beef was canned during the fucking DREYFUS AFFAIR what pray tell WHAT did you EXPECT from this TURN OF THE CENTURY CAN OF MEAT
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food #history #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #unsanitary cw
CJ and I were trying to find the proportion of severe cases in Shenzhen by age in this horrible little paper (me, after failing to find the pertinent information after looking at all the important looking graphs: maybe it’s time to read the wall of text. / CJ: I have a better idea. Let’s buy plane tickets to China, find the authors, then murder them.)
At the end, we’ve ‘found’ the right figure for the 30-39 range (The only age range with non-zero severe case proportion under age 40) by… using the screencap tool to measure how many pixels the center of the yellow square at 30-39 is from the bottom, and then measuring how many pixels are between the 0 line and the 0.1 line, and determining that 7 pixels over 53 ~= 0.13, so the fraction of severe cases for that age is 0.1*0.13.
Civilization is maddening!
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw #covid19 #fun with statistics #death tw? #murder cw?
With each passing day France’s most influential newspaper slips further into absurdist humour with its lockdown recommendations. Someone asked them today: “Shouldn’t we double our self-isolation measures as we near the peak?” and a journalist replied soberly “Yes, we recommend that you even triple them. Excluding emergencies, you may for example self-isolate at home three times a day: from 7am to 3pm, from 3pm to 11pm, then from 11pm to 7am.”
Another reader (pictured above) questioned these drastic instructions: “This schedule is not convenient for me at all. May I, without danger, push it all back by an hour?”
Le Monde journalist: “That should be okay; as long as you don’t go out these requirements are quite flexible. You can actually stay home up to four times a day if that’s more convenient for you: from 6am to noon, from noon to 6pm, then from 6pm to midnight, and finally from midnight to 6am.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw #covid19
oh god this ask is from forever ago but YEAH she would. I’m the worst at coming up with pranks but here’s a select few that I think Donna would do to Ten:
– replace his shampoo with dye depositing shampoo and it just. Doesn’t do anything. Maybe he didn’t use it? But he does. Repeatly. Ni change. After like a week of this she tries to lean casually on a wall and says, “so, uhh, doctor? Ever consider dyeing your hair?” and he’s like “oh i WISH i would love to but my hair doesn’t dye.” and she’s like..”Oh?” and he’s like “yeah well technically it isn’t hair it’s a bunch of very small antennae” and she genuinely does not know if he’s fucking with her until the metacrisis happens
-did that thing where you swap out the creme in oreos with toothpaste and served them to him and he made absolutely no indication of noticing. he ate all of them. what is wrong with him.
-Ten DEFINITELY walked in to Donna having converted the entire console room into a ball pit. It hardly counts as a prank though because this is the best day of his goddamn life. He does not know where the plastic balls came from but he’s having a blast
-Ten doesn’t really pull pranks as much as he just. Completely fuckin bullshits time lord culture half the time. Sometimes he’s honest and sometimes he’s just like “ i still miss the red skies reflecting off of the most beautiful place, Weed City”
-”did you know the most sacred number in all of time lord history is four thousand, two hundred and six point nine?” “No it fucking isn’t” *admonishingly* “Donna” “ Your sacred number is not fuckin 42069″
-One time Ten is like “smack cam!” and she gets Ready to throw down but he just kisses her on the forehead and is like “haha punk’d!”
– Conversely Donna learns about the chameleon arch and is like “oh i can mine this “fucking with the doctor” potential for MONTHS” she goes all out. She learns at least a little bit of circulean gallifreyian so she can comment on it. she picks up an old fobwatch and will fiddle with it in front of him without ever opening or commenting on it. She gets real vague about her childhood. It’s hilarious.
Tags:
#Doctor Who #Donna Noble #headcanons #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick?
You’re listening to rock. Fucking rock. We’re hard as shit. All the other stations are whimpy little snowflakes for not playing rock like we do. Hard rock. Rock and metal and fucking rock. Up next is Twenty One Pilots followed by Imagine Dragons
Everyone keeps asking me what area I live in because theirs is like that too but the truth is rock stations are just like that
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #music #(I don’t listen to radio of my own free will) #(and stores don’t tend to play Fucking Rock stations) #(so I don’t actually relate to this) #(still funny though) #((what’s Twenty One Pilots?)) #((*googles*)) #((oh the bastards who did that annoying ”Stressed Out” song)) #((like nails on a fucking chalkboard‚ that is))
(This is an ask meme where I try to describe a franchise I’ve never seen based on “dashboard osmosis,” i.e. what I’ve learned of it from fandom.)
It’s not too obscure, my dash used to be really into BBC Merlin!
I’m a big Arthuriana fan nerd so I know who the characters are, or who they’re meant to be.
BBC Merlin is a television show about “what would happen if Merlin and Arthur were the same age, and Merlin kind of pined for Arthur in a one-sided and Extra Gay way, in a land where magic exists but is outlawed. Also all the weird incesty dark stuff is sanded over.”
The result is Merlin, as a skinny Welsh kid with enormous ears and a red bandana. A large dragon and his cranky professor are insistent that he be friends with Arthur, because they love jock/nerd friendships.
Arthur’s father, played by Anthony Stewart Head, is outraged about everything. He is also alive. This is okay because all of Arthuriana is fan fiction anyway. I assume his name is Uther, because that’s what Arthur’s father is named in canon, but he might be called Gaius.
I feel like there is definitely a “gaius,” but that might be because Gaius Baltar is a character, or because ASH also played a guy called Giles. I have seen 6 episodes of Buffy and 1 of Battlestar. So I would know. Maybe the Dragon is called Gaius. Anyway, Merlin shakes his fist at the sky a lot, shouting “GAIUS!” , and I don’t think he’s yelling at another franchise.
Magic is illegal. The penalty is probably death. But Merlin is magic. He gets around this by doing lots of magic, and – this is the strange part – nobody ever notices.
Guinevere, or Gwen, is played by the Most Beautiful Girl In the World, but I don’t know if she actually does anything related to the Great Tragic Romance Plot; I think she may just hang out in a smithy, vaguely banging pans together and being sensible. It’s smart of her to stay out of it.
Morgan appears to be a cousin, rather than a sister, and apart from looking fabulous in the distance, she does not appear to menace Arthur. She does magic too but is marginally capable of actually keeping it a secret. I don’t think a Mordred ever happens but I’m okay with that. If there is a Mordred he’s probably a kitten that Arthur found.
The other knights might be around, but I don’t think they do much except go “oooh!” And “aaaah!” In unison when something happens. This is definitely not a Round Table show, the subject of the show is the eponymous Merlin and his pining, so there don’t appear to be any questing beasts or mysterious maidens imprisoned in bowers, or random digressions into the state of the ruling family in Nubia, or strange backwater incest plots, or even Mads Mikkelsen in a fur coat for no reason. So that’s kind of refreshing, although I do think the ensemble nature of Arthuriana is part of its charm, much like how the world of Harry Potter is larger than the central character. I also think the “king who invents chivalry and unites England” plot doesn’t happen.This is Arthuriana Lite, a college-AU.
“Now elodie,” you may say, “there’s like 15 seasons of this show. where is the drama and conflict, if there are no weird quests or politics and no incest?”
Ahh, you see, this is a romantic comedy show. The drama and conflict comes from Merlin, who is Gay AF, trying to win his prospective boyfriend’s father over. Arthur is oblivious and does not know he’s being courted. Uther is outraged and constantly being attacked by falling chandeliers or strange demands from the peasantry, all of which put him in a worse mood. Merlin does magic to rescue or impress Uther, then remembers that magic is illegal, so he panics and pretends it was a sudden gust of wind or an invisible badger or ergot-induced hysteria. Uther eyes him suspiciously and still doesn’t like him. Merlin tries even more desperately for Uther’s approval, and then goes to Puzzlewood and cries on a dragon about it.
“Have you told Arthur that you value his friendship yet,” the dragon says.
“Why would I do that?” Merlin says.
Then he looks sad, in the rain, with his enormous ears.
Arthur is beautiful, but utterly oblivious.
Tags:
#BBC Merlin #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #unreality cw?
As a side note… I am really annoyed by one thing about Star Trek.
“Replicated food is not as good as real food.”
That’s ridiculous. In Star Trek, replicator technology is part of the same tech tree as transporters. Replicated food would be identical to the food it was based on, down to the subatomic level.
In a blind taste test, nobody, but nobody, can tell the actual difference between replicated food and “real” food. (Think back to our youth and the New Coke vs. Pepsi taste tests, only worse.) BUT, humans being What We Are, the human Starfleet members insist that “real” food is better than replicated food for reasons including, but certainly not limited to:
1. Hipsters have survived even into the 24th century. “No, you just can’t make good curry from a replicator! You gotta toast the spices yourself right before you cook it or it’s not the same, maaaaaan”
2. All military and para-military members everywhere always grouse and bitch about the food and sigh over What We Get Back Home. It could literally be the same replicator recipe you use at home when someone has to work late or just doesn’t feel like making the effort to cook, but people are people everywhere so they’re going to complain about it.
3. Humans tend to think we’re smarter than we actually are and we can totally tell when something is going on; as a result, human crew members insist they can “taste the difference” because their minds are making shit up, as our brains do.
4. One could presume that, generally speaking, a replicator recipe programmed into a starship or base replicator database would come out the same every time. This is perhaps the 24th century equivalent of mass catering. (I won’t try to account for the nuances of replicator tech that might allow for variances, and leave aside for the moment the fact that some people probably tinker with the standard “recipes” to suit their own taste.) The single thing that would be different in this case about “real” food is the variation, since of course the “real” dish will have slight variances every time due to the whims of the cook, the oven temperature fluctuation, freshness of ingredients, etc.. And since we are an easily bored species who really, really hates boredom, I bet people would jump all over that to lament the lack of “real” food when they’re out exploring strange new worlds and new civilizations and whatnot. (This is the only reason I can think of that might hold up to scrutiny.)
The Vulcans in Starfleet (and Data), of course, remain baffled by this human insistence that “replicator food isn’t as good as ‘real’ food”, as it defies all known forms of logic.
Hmm. This is a fair point. It occurs to me that I once met a Texan who commented that the chili in a restaurant I worked at was not as good as what they made in Texas, and when I pointed out that the cook was a Texan and the chili was his personal recipe, for which he had won awards in Texas, just said “Doesn’t matter. Wasn’t made in Texas.”
I gotta be honest, Replicator technology is one of the things I am SUPREMELY jealous of, and I’m… okay, I’m not a great cook, but I can cook and there are several dishes I do very well. I think if I had access to the technology I would cook a lot less, though, and I would for sure use replicated ingredients.
Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points
AU where Fred and George are in different houses and they get their hands on house ties from the other two houses as well. By the end of their first year nobody knows which house either of them is in and just take points off a random house whenever they see a redhead getting up to something.
The confusion runs so deep by the time Ron starts that Snape once takes points off Slytherin for Ron fighting with Malfoy.
There’s a few months in Fred and George’s second year when they successfully convince most of the school that they’re actually quadruplets, one in each house.
After this confusing quadruple mess, a conspiracy theory emerges that Fred and George are actually just one person, and there were never any Weasley Twins. To add fuel to this theory, Fred and George make a point to never be seen together (publicly).
When asked about this theory, Fred/George subtly insinuates that he used Polyjuice Potion so that there could be multiple versions of himself at once. This goes around the Hogwarts Rumor Mill like fire. The Weasley family says nothing to dispute it, not even Percy.
Percy makes polyjuice successfully for the first time in his fifth year, when he finally has sufficient motivation. Fred, George, Edward and Hubert walk into the great hall one morning, identical but for their school ties, and the chaos is so great that nobody realizes Percy and Ron are missing.
Tags:
#Harry Potter #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fun with shapeshifting
Brinens and Things 