fun fact: the word quarantine comes from quarantena, meaning “forty days”, used in 14th-15th-century Venetian language (the period that all ships were required to be isolated before passengers and crew could go ashore during the Black Death plague)
#okay I know we’re not supposed to make hindsight jokes until 2021 #but #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #puns #covid19 #(I think understanding the OP requires some cultural referents I don’t have) #(but I get the rest of the thread) #illness tw?
“So,” Crowley said, stretching his legs out and taking another sip of wine, “what’re you up to these days?”
“Nothing particular,” Aziraphale said. “Although I do have to pop over to Nice for a blessing next week, but that shouldn’t take long.”
“Next week, huh? Mind covering a minor temptation for me, then, while you’re in the area?”
“I suppose so,” said Aziraphale. “What precisely is it?”
“It’s in Monte Carlo, actually,” Crowley said, “just popping in to the casino for a smidge of troublemaking. Nothing complicated.”
“Ah—” said Aziraphale, and shifted uncomfortably. “I’m afraid I can’t go to Monte Carlo.”
Crowley snorted. “What, are you too virtuous for gambling now? Don’t go using that line on me. I’ve seen how you get over baccarat.”
“No, no, it’s not that,” Aziraphale said. “It’s just—I can’t go to Monte Carlo.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve been banned,” Aziraphale muttered.
“Sorry, what?”
“I’ve been banned. From Monte Carlo.”
“What did you do?”
“In my view,” said Aziraphale primly, “I wasn’t doing anything wrong at all. I simply took the time to implement a bit of strategy and mathematics. Anyone could do the same. It’s hardly cheating.”
Crowley took a second to parse this. “You got kicked out of a casino for counting cards.”
“Not before I’d accumulated several thousand pounds doing it,” said Aziraphale, in a most un-angelic fashion.
Crowley had a sudden image of him, all buttoned up in waistcoat and bowtie, spectacles perched on the bridge of his nose, sitting at a blackjack table, his soft hands laying down the cards, the complete sincerity in his voice as he’d say oh, dear me, it looks like I’ve won again, fancy that, the canny glint in his eye that anyone looking less carefully than Crowley would miss.
It was a remarkably compelling image, and Crowley let out a low, inadvertent whistle.
“So, I can’t help with your temptation, I’m afraid,” Aziraphale said.
“Yeah, no, that’s all right,” Crowley said, “but, uh, have you been…banned anywhere else?”
Aziraphale went pink. “It is possible,” he said, carefully, “that I might find myself unwelcome at several establishments in Las Vegas, as well.”
“You’ve been on some sort of casino-defrauding world tour, and you didn’t tell me?”
“Don’t make fun,” Aziraphale said. “It’s only a hobby.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Crowley said, “getting booted from gambling establishments, right up there with manuscript collection on the list of your notable hobbies.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you—”
“Look,” Crowley interrupted, “have you, ah—ever been to Atlantic City? In America?”
Aziraphale shook his head.
“Well,” Crowley said, “pretty sure New Jersey could do with a bit of divine intervention.”
A small smile crept onto Aziraphale’s face. “It’s a tempting thought,” he said.
Tags:
#Good Omens #fanfic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #gambling
The last time I left my house was 17 days ago and on that day I walked past a man who was sitting in his car with the windows open and as I walked past, someone on his radio said “now sports! sports is, there are no sports”
Why are people commenting like “this is night vale” or “I can’t tell if this really happened or it’s an apocalyptic vision” like are you all not aware that there’s an unprecedented international disaster happening? What is not normal life in March 2020 about this post
The radio channel I listen to has a guy who does the traffic report every morning and he got so fed up of saying basically “theres no traffic because everyone is at home” that he started getting listeners to message him with the traffic that’s in their home. like “in Steve’s house in Surrey today theres a massive delay between the bedroom and the dining room table that is where Steve is working because the dog is lying in the doorway. the current recommended diversion is via the kitchen for a cup of tea.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #storytime #my home away from home #covid19 #illness mention
-“y’all need moar autism” -“I’m trying but they won’t let me get any more vaccines”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #autism #vaccines #conspiracy theories #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
#I knew where this was going from the first image #and at that moment I had already decided to reblog it #(but since it *also* made me laugh I will add this tag:) #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Star Trek #Voyager
you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life
New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.
Tags:
#music #headcanons #Billy Joel #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
#oh my god #Hamilton #our home and cherished land #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I don’t think I’ve been there myself) #(but I’ve heard Hamilton described as ”like everything bad about Kitchener with none of the good parts”)
Brinens and Things 