Very well then, I shall call you out. Hello out, how are you doing?
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#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #puns #overly literal interpretations #the humour of my people #our roads may be golden or broken or lost
You are one of the greatest authorities on the Fall in the solar system. Alas, no-one listens to your expertise because of your insistence on calling it “The Clash of the TITANS”
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#Eclipse Phase #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
Concept: a TV series consisting entirely of “filler episodes” from some notional story of grand adventure whose ongoing events can only be inferred from the incidental context of whatever character-driven bullshit is happening this week.
Like, maybe they’re a D&D-style adventuring party, and we only ever see them during downtime between adventures. Sometimes one of them is suffering from some improbable injury or bizarre curse, and the particulars of how it happened are only vaguely alluded to – their entire professional lives are basically one big Noodle Incident from the audience’s perspective.
I think you could get some use out of “previously on” and “next time on” segments showing footage that never happened.
For example: “Previously on, Champions of Karamore!” *Shot of a scepter lying on a pedestal in a tomb somewhere* Wizard: “The Scepter of Aratoom is the key to Garroth’s Ascension” *Four Seconds of the Heroes engaged in epic combat* Warrior: “I’LL HOLD THEM OFF, GET THE SCEPTER” Rogue *Looking at empty pedestal*: “IT’S GONE! WE’RE TOO LATE!” *Dark cloaked figure that the audience has never actually seen before, holding the scepter* “At last…it begins”
And then the entire episode consists of them hanging around the nearest inn, looking at maps and arguing about different ways they could have gotten there, and if any of those methods would have gotten them to the Tomb fast enough. “I told you we should have sold the horses in Roksport and taken a ship to Veremen” “We paid good money for those horses! Staying overland cut at least three days off our trip!” “It would have, HAD THE HORSES NOT BEEN EATEN BY WEREWOLVES!” “There’s no way we could have known about the Werewolves.” “THE TOWN WAS CALLED LYCANSBURG JEREMY!”
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#story ideas I will never write #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #(”THE TOWN WAS CALLED LYCANSBURG JEREMY!”)
#the other half of his superpower is the ability to locate coffee anywhere #which is how he knew what direction to start walking when he was in afghanistan #‘the nearest pot of coffee is 23 miles east’ #and then he started walking through the desert #honestly that’d be kind of a fun plot device #somebody write it I’m too lazy (via @buckykingofmemes)
There is a reason Tony never mentions that he’s a mutant. It’s not that he’s ashamed, or even that he’s afraid of the negative impact the news would have on the Stark name and his business.
It’s that he got such a fucking lame power.
The X-men can fly, control the weather, shoot lasers from their eyes, and make things go boom. Tony? Tony get’s the amazing ability to metabolize caffeine extra well (okay, on a level that would kill ten average people) and sense it for miles.
He’s one of those mutants whose powers fall into a category all their own. teeeechnically, he’s actually an alpha level mutant, given the complex way his body processes caffeine and the nearly fifty mile range on the sensor aspect of his talent, plus the degree of sensitivity. But in practice? The few people in the know mostly consider him to be a beta mutant, since his power isn’t really applicable as a defence or offense.
At any given moment he can tell you with pinpoint accuracy what things within a block of him have caffeine and what they are, even managing to differentiate between different kinds of coffee. He can even tell you who made it, if he’s met the person.
(He tries to explain it to Pepper and Rhodey, once. Tries to explain that it’s not that he’s measuring the level of caffeine in a pot of coffee really, it’s that everyone makes coffee differently. If he focuses, he can tell that the pot of coffee down in the accounting break room was made by Margery, not Cole, or Clarke, or Franchesca, because it feels like her. Numbers and irritation and impatience coupled with the peppermint sticks she likes to swirl in a cup of black. He knows he doesn’t manage it well when all he gets are indulgently confused smiles from his two friends.
Charles Xavier prattled a bit about possible subconscious empathic or telepathic impressions, but honestly Tony doesn’t really care. He just does what he does. It’s not like the mechanics really matter with a useless power like his. He doesn’t stay at Xavier’s long. Hanging with the X-men makes him feel like a toaster hanging out with sports cars.)
It’s not until he’s kneeling in scorchingly hot sand, an unforgivingly bright sun high in the sky above him and bits of scattered metal around him, that he’s thankful for the power evolution gave him. Because when he reaches out with that strange other sense of his, he can feel all the distant pinpricks of sensation that mean, ‘Here! There be coffee here!’. Most carry the notes of people who feel like the land around him, but one….. Smiling grimly, he heaves himself to his feet and looks east, towards the distant call that carries with it a taste of foreigntiredordersyessirdutythiscoffeeSUCKSman that tells him there are american soldiers that-a-way.
He starts walking.
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#Marvel #fanfic #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
#millennials #(mostly as a blacklist tag for people tired of uphill-both-ways-ing) #I’m at least 50% convinced this is some kind of marketing campaign for unsnow.me #I notice their current userbase is tiny #(and they’re the sort of service that needs a large userbase if they’re going to operate at all) #but it’s an interesting enough idea that I’m willing to help them advertise #and anyway #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
when you spend enough time looking at unnecessarily gendered products it starts to become clear that the only two real genders are pink and black, so from now on i’m going to ask heterosexual couples which one of them is the stuart semple and which one of them is the anish kapoor
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#gender #vantablack saga #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
#New Years #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #this is actually true though #today I ordered that new smartphone I was talking about getting #it takes 1080p video #my current one takes 720p #(in theory anyway) #(while I’ve taken some stills I don’t think I’ve ever actually recorded video with it) #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #(there will be a short period during the changeover in which I own three) #(but once I’ve finished setting the new one up I’ll give the old one to Mom) #(and in any case it’s a category tag)
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 