brin-bellway is a mean vacuum who murders CUTE SOUND BABIES OF CUTENESS because she’s EVIL! She’s almost as murderous as luminousalicorn. She also comes from a country which murdered a CUTE DEMON CORE in order to create a star. Basically, she’s a CUTE THING MURDERER! She’s probably a sofa that eats precious cinnamon rolls, too.
She is also known to hug and feed chocolate bars to cute chicks in tiny hats. This makes the chicks get fat. Like, really fat. brin-bellway is singlehandedly responsible for whale evolution. You didn’t know whales came from fat birbs, did you? Well Science, bitch!
Brin has been known to gossip about people from the distant past. She also stalks and takes pictures of poor, defenseless pollen grains. The pollen grains can’t escape – even across borders. Despite storing dozens of lethal weapons in improbable places, the TSA still thinks that she’s ‘mostly harmless’. That’s right – they call this cuteness-killing stalker harmless. This is the level of incompetence we have come to.
She is a certified Klingon counselor and dude-with-hair in the Silmarillion. She has battled many foes across many fandoms, spreading awful, awful humour in her wake. She’s totally the type of person who would think calling random things degenerate was funny. That’s degenerate.
Calling Random Shit Degenerate: Not Even Once.
Her degeneracy is so extreme that she’s worse than a floral print sofa. She’s a *fainting couch*. A fainting couch for wealthy robot ladies who think too much. She’s the type of couch who wants unambiguous minions of the chaotic efficient variety. They help her beat up the Mean Meanies that scare her Precious Robots.
But that isn’t degenerate enough *either!* We can go *deeper!* Brin is a hypno-fetishist asexual! Yes, asexual fetishist. Life is weird, OK? She wants to have non-sex sex with a pocket watch, or something. I don’t really know. I would educate myself about this, but ozymandias271 has permanently ruined education. Therefore, I will confidently say blatantly ignorant things, like a True Freedom Lover.
Trump 2016.
Follow her blog if you want to faint into a patch cute forget-me-nots, as they get murdered by a vacuum sofa.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #humour *and* stuff about me! today is a good day #(well okay technically it’s after midnight) #(I need to go to bed) #(also non-sex sex is the *best* kind of sex) #(accept no substitutes)
“Fun” Tumblr fact of the day: if you have HTML in your blog’s sidebar profile, you have to re-code all of it (manually; there’s no Rich Text Editor that I could find) every time you edit that profile in any way. Otherwise, the HTML will be stripped from the new profile.
(I’ve only tested this with links, but I doubt the rest is any better.)
Tags:
#Tumblr: a User’s Guide #oh look an original post #this post prompted by someone who asked for clarification on the original version of my profile #I went to rephrase it to make it more clear it was a link and accidentally *removed* the link #figured it out though #(and she just sent me an ask saying that wasn’t actually the problem anyway) #(but this is still good information so I will leave it)
Canonically, the United States of America once possessed a unique artifact known as the Demon Core, but it was consumed in the process of summoning a miniature star.
So, let’s talk about whales. A group of mammals so highly adapted to aquatic life that some people still mistake them for fish. A group that includes some of the largest and most intelligent living creatures.
Although their earliest evolutionary ancestors were a mystery until the late 1970s, today cetacean fossils make up one of the most striking examples of transitional forms. Combined with molecular analysis, we now know them to be descendants of early even-toed ungulates, with their closest living relatives being hippos.
Every day this month I’ll be posting a new image highlighting points in whale evolution, from their terrestrial origins all the way through to modern times.
This is Indohyus, a member of an extinct group of ungulates called raoellids – the closest known sister group to cetaceans. The very earliest whales probably looked similar to this, small hoofed creatures completely unrecognizable compared to their modern aquatic descendants.
Around 60cm long (23.5in), Indohyus lived in what would become India and Pakistan about 50-48 million years ago. It had very dense bones similar to those of hippos, and probably led a semi-aquatic lifestyle comparable to modern water chevrotains, diving into water and remaining submerged to evade predators. But its main link to whales actually comes from its ear bones, with its skull showing evidence of a special structure called the involucrum.
PERSONALS FROM THE PAST! These are from the Daily Mail, 4th of May 1896…
BESSIE – darling. – Mother wishes you many happy returns of the day. You said, to avoid all reproachful letters, you would keep your whereabouts unknown for the time. Is the time not yet ended? There shall be no reproachful letters; but for Heaven’s sake let me hear of or from you. There is no need, dear, of all this secrecy, unless a stronger will than your own is at work to keep you silent. Even if this is so, don’t keep me longer without a word. It is so hard, my darling.
TO OAK – Oh, why have you left me for so long? This suspense is killing me. When you took me to the circus you swore you would never leave me. Think how you are keeping that promise! If you do not come back to me soon I fear I shall be tempted into accepting one of the offers of marriage I am receiving almost daily – Ivy.
UNCLE JIM – Come home at once. All is forgiven. Bring the pawntickets with you. – Niece.
WILL the gentleman who took away by mistake the Brown Pony standing outside the Star and Garter, on City and Suburban day, kindly send to the same place for the trap, or return pony? One is no use without the other.
OH BUT WAIT these were in the paper on the 5th. SURPRISE Oak is a dick! BUT WHERE IS UNCLE JIM???
IVY NO
Tags:
#history #disadvantages like how people from the distant future are *still* gossiping about you? #that might not be a disadvantage depending on how you look at it #it’s kind of cool
