guy with telepathy but he can’t use it because every time he tunes into someone else’s mind their unique perception of all of reality is so fundamentally different than his own and so incomprehensible that he just immediately passes out like a lovecraftian horror protagonist
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#relatable #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Glowfic is an infamously high-context medium and needs a certain amount of tolerance for reading things without having read their prerequisites, but you can get a head start on understanding the background context relevant to my stuff by reading How to Read Glowfic and the glowfic wiki page on medianworlds (people who understood the phrase “the format planecrash was written in” may recognise this as the relationship Keltham’s homeworld has to Eliezer Yudkowsky).
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#(it was not in fact planecrash that introduced me to glowfic) #(my own introduction to glowfic has been lost to the mists of time but was no later than 2018) #(but planecrash was a breakout hit‚ which makes it a useful reference) #and yeah that post from today’s queue is very much a thing #if you told me in early 2022 that I was going to write over 40k words of fiction in the following calendar year #I would boggle at you #I do think early-2022!me would *endorse* this development‚ though #it’s just not something that I ever particularly expected to be *capable* of #and was making no active attempt to change this
You guys want to play a game? REBLOG and put in the tags why you follow this person
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#I am absolutely fascinated by rentalcar #memes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Did you know that peafowl are born with a full set of flight feathers? It only takes them 3-4 days to remove the sheaths and put a little length on them, and then they are capable of flight!
It’s very obnoxious!
glad that came through in text
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#birds #the more you know #adorable #(…from a safe distance) #cat on keyboard threeeee-d! #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Do yall ever just draw/write/do something and go “I did that? Me?? This lil guy??? I had the power in me this entire time, but nobody told me????”
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#me looking at the nearly-three-thousand-words of fiction I have written over the past 48 hours #writing #relatable #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once #(but I moved it up to the top of the queue‚ so that ”last 48 hours” will only be slightly off by the time this is visible)
If plague doctors hadn’t been a real thing, and you made them up for a speculative history/fantasy story, people would complain that they’re implausibly advanced and way too cool.
Like you’re like “yeah there’s this super lethal illness and nobody actually knows how it spreads so just to be safe they’ve got these sick gothy fucking hazmat suits. No Greg shut up they totally had all the materials to make them, you can make fabric splatter-resistant by waxing and oiling it. And the mask is because of the- guys shut up, let me finish. The mask is- there’s scented- guys shut up. They didn’t have germ theory but they figured it has something to do with the air smelling- No shut up, you’re a fucking furry. The beak makes it cool. Jerks.”
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#history #clothing #illness tw #discourse cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
One absolutely hilarious part of human existence is the repeated incidents of spicy bananas. People who have lived their entire lives up to this point just assuming that a specific fruit or vegetable is supposed to taste bitter, tangy, or spicy, having no fucking idea that all this time, they’ve been allergic to this plant. Because how would they have known? You learn what things taste like by tasting them, nobody’s going to tell you that bananas are supposed to be one of the mildest flavours out there. And people already eat so many things that taste hot, bitter, tangy and tart! Because they like how that kind of thing tastes like!
You can just happily much on a plant, thinking “ah, this angry plant tastes sharp because it hates me. Much like all the other sharp angry plants that people eat because they like the sharp”, and it wouldn’t cross their mind to think that the plant just hates you, specifically.
My best friend’s husband didn’t realize he was colorblind until after they were married in their mid-twenties and she watched him run a stop sign that was in front of a big bush. He’d lived his entire life not knowing. So when they did some tests and realized “hey, you’re super colorblind,” he got to thinking, it’s X-linked, right? Which means it had to have come from Mom’s side of the family, so he started digging and asked his mom’s dad, and Grampa was like “Well that would explain a lot, I suppose. I kind of thought your grandma was just pulling my leg about the tomatoes.”
Because Grandma had apparently banned him early on from picking the tomatoes in the garden because he was constantly coming in with unripe ones, and he thought she was just being super nitpicky about it. This was a lifelong family joke, that Grandpa couldn’t tell a ripe tomato to save his life, and nobody ever stopped to wonder if maybe he and the grandson who routinely colored the grass red on his drawings might have something going on with their ability to see red and green as distinct colors.
i thought aloe vera gel was SUPPOSED TO burn your skin. like how rubbing alcohol burns when applied to a cut. figured that everyone else was just better at gritting their teeth and bearing the full body aloe sting than i was. i just didn’t feel like the stinging was worth the mild healing properties aloe had.
yeah… turns out it’s NOT supposed to burn and i was just allergic to aloe
My husband comes from a “weird” family. Like, the whole county knows. “He’s a total weirdo. AAAH THAT’S HIS LAST NAME THAT EXPLAINS IT OKAY NO PROBLEM GO FLY FREE DUDE WE LOVE YOU!!” The family’s just a bunch of freaks, like the Addams Family meets the Beverly Hillbillies. I ADORE them.
It was celebrated because they’re so valuable to the local community. This one sells meticulously grown veggies at the farmer’s market, then hisses at you for suggesting they wear soemthing that isn’t tie-dyed. That kid was in kindergarten before she said her first word, and that’s cool because her older sister translated for her NO THANK YOU TEACHER WE DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR THAT IS NORMAL FOR THIS FAMILY GO AWAY. She’s got two quiet kids of her own now and WE STILL DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR GO AWAY. That uncle knows everything there is to know about every car engine ever, and he never wears shoes with laces because he literally never worked out how to tie them (He’s 60). He’s also the top mechanic in his town and makes serious dough that put his super-smart daughter through college, and now she’s an ace veterinarian who pterodactyl screams at acrylic sweaters and keeps everyone’s pets alive. I shit you not, the family matriarch gets excited for tax season every year and begs everyone to bring her their taxes so she can MATH at them. It’s her freaking hobby.
Whatever. They’re in OUR family. It’s totally normal for us. The family’s just full of freaks, that’s all. We encourage our people to go with their strengths and use their skills to make our little corner of the world a nicer place to live in, then teach them how to manage the difficult parts of the world because we all had to learn to do it ourselves. “Because this family’s full of people just as freaky as you. You’re one of us.”
No, most of them don’t go to college. It’s rural Illinois, of course they don’t. Lots of them end up in specialized trades, like electricians or farmers, and they always kick ass at it. They tend towards jobs that require a lot of focus, and attention to detal, and very specific, in-depth knowledge that is almost useless outside of whatever field they’re in. We’re mostly spread between two or three small towns in Illinois, and I do not think these three towns would function without my husband’s family fixing and growing everything they do.
One of our cousins’ kids got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder a few years ago. His now-ex-wife insisted that something was wrong and that our cousin was a jerk for not caring enough to notice. The family reacted with “He’s fine, it’s normal, we all did that when we were his age… wait… shit… what do you mean it’s genetic?”
It turns out that like 70% of my husband’s side of the family is autistic as fuck. We’re talking about grandmothers. Uncles. Cousins. People are in their 70s just now figuring out why they are how they are.
They’re just so famously weird in our community that they attract the other weird people as partners, and then they have weird little kids, and no one really looks twice. A bunch of the people (including me) who married in were informally adopted first. “Oh, your parents punished you for this behavior? We all do that here. Come to the barbecue!” Two years later, I had their last name and was helping watch their adorable little handflappy babies.
We’ve got an entire gene pool over here of autistic people thriving so well that no one noticed we were all autistic.
Also, that cousin got RID of his wife when she started talking about how “tragic” their son’s autism is. Their son is a perfectly normal child in our family and will be raised as such. We joke now that when something needs fixed, “Oh, just call Uncle So-and-So, he’ll autism at it.”’
Beautiful, wonderful story, no notes (except maybe asking if there’s room for one more at the dinner table).
Anyway, back to the original post, I am in deep gratitude for it, because it’s the only reason I thought to wonder if chickpeas are supposed to be spicy.
(Hint: Apparently they’re not. The genetic lottery locked the good tasting falafel and hummas behind an allergy wall.)
#that one post with the thing #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #food #allergies #autism #PSA #embarrassment squick #poison cw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
The announcement that Columbia Pictures will be releasing a remake of Martin Scorcese’s Goncharov is met with public bewilderment and Tumblr cheers.
Everyone on This Here Webbed Site cannot contain the anticipation. The trailer is argued about. Tickets are purchased. Droves are showed up in. Money is made.
Opening day, the first lucky crowd watches as the scene fades in. Title screen plays.
Morbius.
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#Goncharov #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
productivity is down at the post factory for another year
however sales remain dominated by one post
we are under investigation from the SEC for wash trading. here’s to another year on tunglr dot com
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #(sort of) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 