#food #god there is so much here #it just keeps unfolding #it costs $5.99 in 2015!USD #it’s a liquid measured in pounds #warning: this product has not been pasteurized and‚ therefore‚ may contain harmful bacteria #later on the label calls it a ”juice” #(which implies they’re selling *other* things that *are* unpasteurized juices) #((since otherwise why would they have had the form letter lying around)) #(did they not learn anything from the Odwalla incident??) #Vox’s food-focused subsidiary contacted Whole Foods for comment and was told that ”the product was made incorrectly” #unsanitary cw?
This kind of acausal compliment makes me want to share my Halloween costume from last year:
Tags:
#relatable #clothing #proud citizen of The Future #(I think the plague doctors of old would be pleased to know what we have been able to build on their foundation) #(I especially think about this when I see people wearing bifold ~N95s) #(it’s most blatant there: you can *see*‚ at a glance‚ how this object partakes of the same Platonic essence as a plague doctor mask) #(but better‚ more perfected‚ closer to the heart of #the thing the plague doctors took the first fumbling steps towards with their limited understanding and their limited manufacturing tech) #(it’s so beautiful) #((I wish I’d kept a copy of a picture I stumbled across once)) #((some news article I think)) #((a picture from a COVID ward‚ of a group of doctors gathered around a patient’s bed)) #((and these people‚ the plague doctors of our era)) #((were wearing elastomeric P100s just like mine)) #((or rather‚ I am wearing one just like theirs)) #((it is *so* beautiful‚ what we have been able to build)) #tag rambles #illness tw #covid19
trying to find something out so please rb and give your opinion on these cookies specifically in the tags
Tags:
#I don’t think I’ve ever had them but they look like something I would hate #I don’t like sprinkles and I don’t like frosting and I’m pretty meh on sugar cookies #food #memes
When I was asleep, I dreamed about a popular tumblr post that went something like this:
I’m incredibly jealous of fishes why? It’s because icebergs are a thing for them
As a human you will never get to witness a gigantic mythical ice creature descending from the heavens It’s so awesome it can only happen in fiction But for antarctic fishes, it’s just like “yep” “that’s wednesdays for ya”
They don’t know how good they have it! If I saw a Leviathan Frost Dragon manifest in the skies I’d pass out from excitement And yet these fuckers are just jaded to such happenings.
This has been your annual repost from the best of Dreamworld Tumblr, enjoy.
Oh, also the research session on the dream internet turned up the fact that dream icebergs are all shrouded in a miniature storm system with spectacular lightning and snow. And also that, off the coast of Brazil, some of these iceberg mini-storms have become self-sustaining even though the iceberg has melted, and they bring immense fertility to the seas below, by churning up the nutrients, so a whole bunch of fish follow them around to feed on the plankton bloom. Sadly, they’re hazardous to visit if you’re a fisherman. This is because the storm is so warm and full of nutrients that it snows mold. The legendary mold-storms of Brazil, responsible for their vast fishing exports.
Tags:
#…Dreamworld Tumblr has a fucking point #icebergs #unsanitary cw? #dreams
If you’re describing a thing as being the size of another thing and you need to qualify the size of the thing in order to convey the size of the thing, it’s a bad thing to compare the thing to. “It was the size of a small—” no. Find a thing that’s the same size as the thing.
“Listen Dale, I’m telling you this thing was the size of a goddamn house! I mean, not like a big house, not mansion-sized, but definitely a modest single-family bungalow… okay fine, yeah Bill, maybe more like a large garden shed, but come on, that’s a pretty big garden shed dude. Stop trying to steal my thunder man. Let’s go with… a small garage. Single car, but with a little extra space for the lawn mower.”
“It was the size of a small cement mixer. Not like the truck, I mean the little ones with the handcart bases. But, you know, that’s still well outside the realm of okay sizes for a spider.”
“The blast affected an area the size of a small country… no, not the Vatican City, smartass. Or one of those really tiny island countries. Not a little city state, I mean big enough to be called a country out of more than courtesy. But one of those small countries that the news always compares to Rhode Island if it ever gets mentioned.
…Why don’t I just compare it to Rhode Island? Because Rhode Islands aren’t a SI unit of area measurement, that’s why! I’m trying to combat Americentrism here!”
“It was about as big as a small freight train. Not a short regular-gauge freight train, mind you. A narrow-gauge freight train. Maybe like 2 ft gauge, 2 ft-6? I dunno, I ain’t no railroad expert, or a giant death worm expert for that matter.
“It was about as big as a small freight train. HO Scale to be precise.”
“It was about as long as a small breadbox. I’m talkin’ a one-loafer max, Joey, no baguettes. You’d have to saw a baguette in half to fit it in the damn thing.”
“It was as long as a short yardstick. Whaddya mean what’s a short yardstick, you went to Catholic School too didn’t ya? After the nun smacks ya with it enough you got a short yardstick!”
“It was the size of a small bobcat. No, no, I mean the animal, not the piece of construction equipment. Jesus, can you even imagine that? I’m telling you if it were the size of a skid-steer loader I wouldn’t be standing here arguing with you about it.”
“It was the size of a small moose. But you know, moose are a lot bigger than most people think they are. So picture about how big you think an average moose is, and you’ll be pretty close.”
“It was the size of what $1200 a month gets you in New York these days.”
Tags:
#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #fun with loopholes #overly literal interpretations #spiders
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
Absolutely the frak not, the trick is to immediately let people know how weird you are so you scare off the weak ones. The ones who stay because they like how weird you are? Those are the ones you want.
Post 1: workplace
Post 2: everywhere else
… you know what, codicil accepted
Tags:
#yeah pretty much #(me showing up to a job interview last summer in a dry-clean-only dress‚ a purse‚ and a university-branded cloth mask: #hello yes I am a perfectly normal member of the office-worker class in the year 2021) #((fortunately I don’t think I’ll ever have to go *quite* that far again)) #((we have a pack of KF94s now‚ which can pass for normie while offering much better protection)) #((Good Manner: for the normie in *your* life)) #in which Brin has a job #clothing #recs
Brinens and Things 