nostalgebraist:

About my fake staff ask

How I made it:

Currently, the tumblr API just… lets you make a post in which you “reply” to an “ask” from an arbitrary user, containing arbitrary content.

In tumblr’s Neue Post Format (NPF), responses to asks look similar to other posts. The only difference is that they have a special entry in their “layout,” specifying which part of the post is the ask, and who it is from.

Right now, if you try to create an NPF post with this kind of layout entry in it, it just works! You can use this to make an “ask” from anyone, containing anything, and answer it.

This is a huge bug and presumably will get fixed sometime soon?

How I discovered the bug:

Weirdly enough, I find out about it while trying to improve @nostalgebraist-autoresponder’s alt text features this past week.

As you may have noticed, Frank now writes alt text differently, with more clarity about which pieces are AI-generated and what role they play.

While making this change, I found myself newly frustrated with my inability to use line breaks in alt text. The API used to let me do it, but then it stopped, hence all the “[newline]” stuff in older alt texts.

After poking around, I found that you can use line breaks in alt text on tumblr, and you can do this through the API, but only if you create posts in NPF.

Frank creates posts in legacy, not NPF. This has been true forever, and it works fine so I’ve had no reason to change it.

Fully rewriting Frank’s post creation code to use NPF would take a lot of work.

Right now, Frank’s language model generates text very close to a limited subset of HTML, which I can send to tumblr as “legacy” post content basically as-is. To create posts in NPF, I’d have to figure out the right way to convert that limited HTML into NPF’s domain-specific block language.

I wasn’t going to do that just to support this one nicety of alt text formatting.

“But wait…”, I thought.

“Frank is already making these posts, with the alt text, in legacy format. And once they exist on tumblr, it’s easy to determine how to represent them in NPF. I just fetch the existing post, in NPF format.”

So all I need to do is

  1. Have Frank make the post, as a draft, with the alt text containing “[newline]” or something in place of the line breaks I really want.
  2. Fetch this draft, in NPF.
  3. Create a new NPF post, with the same contents that we just fetched, in whichever state we wanted for the original post (draft, published, or queued).
  4. Delete the draft we made in step 1.

This was convoluted, but it worked! I patted myself on the back for a clever workaround, and went on to do other stuff for a while…

…and then it hit me.

In the case where the post was a response to an ask, Frank was doing the following:

  1. Responding to the ask.
  2. Fetching the response in NPF.
  3. Creating a completely new post, identical to the response – including the contents of the original ask.
  4. Deleting the original ask.

Meaning, you can just make asks ab nihilo, apparently.

So after a few more tests, I went and made the @staff ask, as one does.

Unfortunately, once the bug gets fixed, Frank’s newlines-in-alt-text solution won’t work for asks anymore… oh well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway.


Tags:

#The Great Tumblr Apocalypse #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what

amiibo-queen:

it’s come to my attention that a lot of people don’t know about bluemaxima’s flashpoint and genuinely think they’ll never be able to play their favorite 00s internet games ever again so i just want to remind everyone that flashpoint is a huge internet flash game preservation project that allows you to play just about any internet flash game/animation despite the death of flash. if they’ve got it in their database (and they probably do) you can play it. go forth and drink in the 00s nostalgia

even if you think there’s no way they’ll have the game u want. they probably do anyway. when i first downloaded flashpoint i thought for sure theres no way they will have the obscure flash game i played for hours as a kid that was only even available on the internet for like 2 months in 2006. but you know what. they had it. seriously, download flashpoint


Tags:

#101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #the more you know #as it happens they do not have my Flash-game white whales‚ the pair of Wild Thornberrys wildlife-rescue games I played as a kid #but there *is* a lot of nostalgic Neopets stuff on there #(…and it seems that the Internet Archive has‚ not technically either of the wildlife-rescue games‚ but a *third* variant upon them) #(I’ll have to try poking that on a VM: it doesn’t look like that one’s been vetted) #games #my childhood

pdfbabe:

pdfbabe:

pdfbabe:

normal guy who transitions into a different, equally normal guy

guy who changes his name from robert to tom

8b3b71672b9f3ac174698890c11b96bc4f84185e

that genuinely makes me happy. good for him. good for him

#[looking back and forth nervously] (itsbenedict)


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #names #(part of the problem with the whole…*gestures at the general trajectory of the Internet*…) #(is that it’s as if people need to *justify* choosing their own name now) #(that used to be an unmarked action) #(and quite a few people ended up using their chosen names offline too) #(hell‚ I’m one of those people now‚ though I don’t go by Brin exclusively) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

kaijuno:

e3a7cb8e5dff417c637b694eb41504138ae04531

You would kill a man for this bedroom


Tags:

#well I wouldn’t go *that* far #but #love the decor fandom #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

itsbenedict:

f4de6b8dff31d3e2356f5fc888b37c07b1b0cad6
c80cd5ff384249059cfa0bc5d58683235a15f16d

per @etirabys’s request, here’s a paste of a whole lot of highly spoilery words about my favorite Horizon: Forbidden West NPC, who makes so many bad decisions

Keep reading

{{below the cut:}}

alright, so- the game in question is Horizon Forbidden West, a big AAA action game about hunting robot dinosaurs. the interesting stuff is almost entirely unrelated to the robot dinosaurs.

the backstory of this game is- a while back, evil military company made a big military AI that went out of control and took over a bunch of military robots and started wiping out humanity. standard stuff. principal characters are a couple of scientists who were part of the last-ditch effort to try to prevent this from happening before the machines wiped out humanity.

one of them, Elisabet, is spearheading this thing called Project Zero Dawn, whose plan for saving humanity is “build an AI terraforming engine equipped with a bunch of human embryos, hide, and wait for the apocalypse to finish and then re-terraform the dead world”. the other one, Tilda, works for a company called Far Zenith whose plan is “let’s just build a spaceship and GTFO”.

Elisabet is a big deal- genius scientist, multidisciplinary, very famous. Tilda is less of a big deal- she’s like a PR person for the space company, but is head over heels in hero worship for Elisabet.

this relationship is fairly loosely sketched out, since it’s only conveyed via backstory and a few audio logs. Tilda asks her out, and Elisabet is- she’s the kind of person who’s totally consumed by duty and doesn’t know what having fun is, and while she’s interested on a physical level, she proves incapable of sustaining a relationship. they break up after a few months- and then their companies start competing for the dwindling resources left as the apocalypse progresses. things turn sour.

Tilda believes- correctly- that Elisabet’s going to die if she stays behind to do her project, and she’s still in love, so she tries to invite her to abandon her world-saving project and join her in space. this doesn’t work, and in their final conversation Elisabet blames Tilda for being complicit in the shortsighted military-industrial fuckery that’s going to imminently destroy the world. this is the last they ever see of each other.

but that’s not where this ends.

Tilda goes off into space with the rest of her company, and they develop advanced biotechnology and she becomes immortal. meanwhile on Earth, that Zero Dawn thing Elisabet was working on… it has problems. doesn’t work quite right. the details are like, the whole plot of the game (two games, actually, forbidden west is a sequel) and involves a whole lot of fighting robot dinosaurs.

but the main thing is- the AI terraforming thing, in an effort to fix itself, decants a clone of its creator, Elisabet Sobeck, to try and create someone with the gene-print authority necessary to fix itself. this clone is the protagonist of the game.

this is, like, a thousand years after the initial apocalypse. a whole bunch of Video Game occurs in which this Elisabet clone, Aloy, saves the world and stuff. and then… Tilda shows up on Earth.

Far Zenith apparently had a problem with their space colony and it got destroyed, and now her and the last few survivors- insanely technologically advanced- have fled back to earth in hopes that Zero Dawn succeeded and the terraforming project would be there intact. they want to take control of the terraforming project and re-terraform the planet to their specifications, wiping out the native life, blah blah blah they’re the villains of this game.

Tilda has an important role in this plan. They’re aware that the terraforming project requires a clone of Elisabet Sobeck to operate, so they made their own. And Tilda, for totally non-ulterior motives, volunteered to raise this clone.

The clone, Beta- her role is just to open doors for the badguys, and her education is spartan and abusive and all-around horrible, designed to turn her into a tool. Tilda does not like this. She feels bad for the clone, and creates a secret VR replica of her house which she covertly invites the clone to, to teach her about art and music and poetry in between the horrible drills. And attempts to woo the teenaged clone of the ex who rejected her and then died.

Beta’s life is this woman running this bizarre abusive hurt/comfort homeschooling experience, and she regards Tilda as both the source of her suffering and the source of her relief and has a bunch of complicated feelings. Beta, like Elisabet, is also terminally duty-poisoned and submits to all this semi-willingly because she’s told it’ll save humanity.

this whole scenario would be enough for me to want to tell you about on its own- but it gets even more fraught.

the other bosses start to catch wind of what she’s doing, and she eventually shuts down the VR house and cuts off contact with Beta to protect her from reprisal, which Beta interprets as abandonment and adds a whole other layer to this nightmare smoothie.

this- and also witnessing the various evil villain stuff they start doing on earth- causes Beta to defect and be rescued by Aloy, her badass videogame protagonist dinosaur-hunting clone. she dumps all this Tilda-related trauma on Aloy and starts plotting to bring her down. Tilda, meanwhile, is despondent, because Elisabet Sobeck broke up with her again and she blames herself for it again.

but then she discovers- oh. hey. hold on. there’s another Elisabet. this one is a sexy twenty-something dinosaur-exploding badass who’s sticking it to her awful coworkers and saving the world.
she has another chance!

so she bides her time, and- during a climactic cutscene where the other baddies all show up to re-kidnap Beta- allows them to kill Aloy’s friends so that she’ll be defenseless and alone, and then picks that moment to jump in, betray her bosses, and rescue Aloy at the last minute.

Aloy wakes up in the basement of Tilda’s actual house, which contains a vault full of classical paintings and various art, and Tilda tries to do the same high-culture seduction act as Aloy’s selfless savior.

this Elisabet Sobeck is also duty-poisoned, and has a hundred questions, and her attempt at playing the wise benevolent savior falls flat. she has like. a fancy dinner prepared on a balcony at sunset, to make it as romantic as possible- but oh, fuck, this Elisabet Sobeck is also duty-poisoned and can’t think about anything but world-saving, she’s about to fuck it up again.

so she frantically tries to rewrite the script and concedes a bunch of stuff and Aloy very forcefully tells her her plan to betray the others is stupid and won’t work and here’s her much better plan, which is of course a dance she’s danced before. but she refuses to give up on making it work with this woman who’s into her but has rejected her three times.

ultimately Tilda is the final boss of the game, after her various attempts to get in good with Aloy by helping her betray the main villains don’t work as intended. she tries to get Aloy and Beta to run away into space with her (there’s another twist final act threat to the earth, not really relevant), and when they reject her again she summons a big robot to try and kidnap them. the final boss is not difficult as a fight as much as it is difficult to listen to this woman completely lose her mind throwing everything she can think of at the wall to try to get Elisabet Sobeck to give her another chance.

it’s way more fucked-up and poignant than i was expecting from the big AAA robot dinosaur fights game. this woman tries every awful move in the book to make her ex love her again and just keeps taking it too far and self-sabotaging.

anyway that’s it. the main thought i had walking away from that was “oh man, i know exactly who would eat this up, and also there’s zero chance she plays like 200 hours of videogame to find out about it”


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the incredible secondhand fuckor in those DMs) #Horizon: Forbidden West #reactionblogging #abuse cw #apocalypse cw #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

maryellencarter:

heroofthreefaces:

riseofthecommonwoodpile:

riseofthecommonwoodpile:

smartphone storage plateauing in favor of just storing everything in the cloud is such dogshit. i should be able to have like a fucking terabyte of data on my phone at this point. i hate the fucking cloud

this is gonna make me sound very Old Man Yells At Cloud but i just hate how many things in my life assume i will always have access to a quick, reliable internet connection and almost cease to function without it. Obviously certain things Have To Have An Internet Connection, but i want to be able to listen to music if my service is bad. i want to still watch movies if Netflix is down. i want to have a working map when i can’t get a cell signal. nearly every tech product these days bears the fingerprint of the extremely internet-rich places they are developed, high rent offices in Seattle, San Francisco, etc.. I think often the idea of the internet not being available is so remote to them it doesn’t even factor in to development. i remember when the Xbox One was debuted and Microsoft was almost mockingly like “if you don’t have reliable fast internet, then don’t bother buying this”, and there was such backlash they completely went back on so much of that. But now that attitude is just the tech norm.

I don’t trust the cloud.

This makes me happy I don’t use my phone for going online

i mean you can get a terabyte phone but it costs like $1600 USD (give or take a couple hundred, idk, i’m not looking it up)

what really pisses me off is that the samsung flagship phones have completely phased out their sd card slots. you can’t get a cell phone with expandable storage anymore

Yeah, it’s such bullshit that it’s a whole ordeal to dig up a model with a microSD slot now.

I *do* have a 2020-model phone (a slightly different model of which is still in production) with a half-terabyte microSD† in it. (For CAD$155 instead of CAD$70 I could have gotten a full terabyte of microSD, but I didn’t have the budget. Mind you, I *could* upgrade later, without having to replace the whole phone…) But that’s because a microSD slot was my single highest priority when deciding what model to buy, absolutely non-negotiable: if I’d cared any less, I’d probably have ended up with a Pixel or a OnePlus.

Hmm, I wrote an extremely outdated guide to orienting your phone setup around not having reliable Internet access in 2015, and a substantially outdated guide in 2018, so it sounds like I’m due for another one. Be right back.

[three months of on-and-off tinkering later]

Okay, here’s “Tips on Offline-First Smartphones, 2023 Edition”.

†Some of the specs for that phone model you’ll see around will say it takes “up to 128 GB”, but don’t be fooled: 64 GB – 2 TB microSDs are the same backwards-compatibility tier. If a phone can take 32 GB, it might not be able to take 64, but if it can take 64 it can take 2048.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #oh look an original post #disappointed permanent resident of The Future #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #fun with loopholes #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers


{{next post in sequence}}

fortooate:

what if you were hanging out on a bus or in a classroom or whatever and then something happens to you that is so ClassicTumblr™ Text Post For Notes© that you can never tell anyone. like, this bisexual punk grandmother just choked out a skinhead with her Destiel-themed cane while giving an impassioned speech about Big Pharma and now you can never tell anybody


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

celestialkindliness:

your discord pfp and your tumblr pfp are locked in a room together. what happens?


Tags:

#they hang out under some grow-lights #occasionally someone comes in and waters them #they’re very happy #icons #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

mckitterick:

2022 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards Winners

e20b073815e94c18247f97275547c742ea364634
b113d99c10022884f28d7311c9adb86f440f2bad
6b4df13bbdc884b2fe8c38c0f677cd0a782f7b5a
0c747e909b5e1ac15a052904e82a0d7c0a7f77cd
e914fe48988d0bdb7b25ea6a4abb109bc45ed91e
3e10782c3ca40fc31864591c8115e9014764149a
27c4dd795af281075981ebc768d6b619aa30de76
bd75178c16a7b607e36907d9a87d683a12e71aa6

the competition is open to wildlife photography novices, amateurs, and professionals, celebrating the hilarity of our natural world and highlighting what we need to do to protect it

full roster of this year’s winners with narratives by the photographers: X


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(the meerkat one) #(especially the way the upright one is just staring deadpan into space) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once #body horror #scopophobia #violence cw