Do you feel like you have permission to be sexual or to have sexuality or to do things considered sexual in nature?
Who or what is granting this permission or denying it?
Does this tie into your asexuality?
(Related to this post.)
It depends on what you mean, but for the most part I do.
Personally, I feel like being ace actually makes it *easier* in some ways to feel like I’m allowed, because my sexuality is not interpersonal. People don’t get as many *opportunities* to forbid me from doing things, because I don’t do acts that require cooperation from others (I need very little of even the indirect, logistical kind of cooperation).
Being kinky *sounds* like it would make feeling permitted more difficult, and in some ways it can, but in other ways it makes things easier. Notably, my masturbation generally looks non-sexual when seen from the outside, out of context, and so getting caught is less bad. (The level of privacy at which I start to feel comfortable is “nobody else is on the same floor of the house”.) Fluid containment and lubricant sourcing are also complete non-issues.
It is probably relevant that my sex ed was pretty liberal (it *was* terrible for me, but only because I was an outlier who slipped through the cracks; unlike the “masturbation is for losers” kind of stuff that other people in the conversation are describing, the messages I received *would* have been good if I had been the intended type of recipient). It probably also helps that I’m not firmly attached to asexuality: the idea (regardless of how likely it is) of getting kicked out for having too much of a sexuality doesn’t really scare me, I kind of just shrug and figure “well, I could probably convince the bisexuals or somebody to take me in”.
I can’t relate to the thing in the linked post about not feeling like one’s sexuality really belongs to one: my sexuality definitely feels like it belongs to me, and that’s a lot of what I like about it.
Tags:
#sexuality and lack thereof #reply via reblog #nsfw text #asexuality
