Author: Brin

SCC Prompt Set #166

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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diaryofasnowflake:

What are some advantages of BDSM and D/s fiction?

You can get dark.  In real life BDSM, we play with the idea of non-consensual relationships, or completely one-sided ones, but we all know that at the end of the day, you’re talking about two people consensually exchanging power and caring for one another.  That’s the way it should be, but when you’re just reading to get off, you can make it really twisted without the same moral problems.

Also, I’m a mind control fetishist, so fiction allows for some fantasy scenarios that simply could not happen in real life.  

What are the risks?

Getting confused as heck.  When I was 14 and found hypnokinky erotica for the first time, I assumed that the fact that I was turned on by these fantasies meant that I wanted them in real life, even though I knew them to be abhorrent.  Plus, these websites often had disclaimers, saying that these were fantasies only and that acting on them meant you were sick.  I didn’t know that they were referring really to the non-consensual aspects, and that there was a way to satisfy these urges without running off a moral cliff.

So when fiction becomes predominant, and there aren’t counter-messages of what consensual BDSM looks like, it can be a real humdinger to work through it all.

These days, I actually bristle at so-called consensual BDSM porn.  First of all, it doesn’t do much for me; I get all that in real life.  Second of all, it comes off as moralizing, and that’s incongruous with writing that’s supposed to get people off.  Third of all, then you get the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.  The reason I hate that series is twofold: 1) It presents a creepy, messed-up relationship as consensual BDSM, making all its mistakes and insinuations about what it means to be kinky all the more messed up.  2) It has become a cultural reference point to refer to kink, and that shit IS NOT ME.

TL;DR: Kinky fiction is fun, but you have to learn the skills to separate reality from fantasy from BDSM play through other means, and misinformation or confusion can spread in the meantime.

 

brin-bellway:

I wonder how much of it coming off as moralizing is because of you not being into it? I’m having trouble thinking of moralizing examples, but then my reaction when I first discovered consensual hypno-kink erotica was “oh my god, where have you been all my life”. It’s very possible that the only reason I’m not rolling my eyes at stories trying to get all their ethical ducks in a row is because I happen to genuinely prefer ethical situations in my porn, right down to my id, and so I feel kindly disposed towards it.

(Or possibly I just haven’t read any of the really moralizing ones, especially since I still don’t have a better means of obtaining porn that at least sort of fits my tastes than “wander through seas of non-con and occasionally hit one by blind luck” (or the indirect word-of-mouth version, “wander through seas of recs for non-con and occasionally hit a rec by blind luck”).)

 

tennfan2:

Reblogging for finding other people who like consensual (even romantic) hypnokink erotica. We do exist!

(Also, the moralizing stuff does exist and it’s just exhausting.)

 

darthkyra:

We do exist indeed!

 

dancercoder:

yes yes yes

too much dubcon turns me off

and there are ways to slip in consent that aren’t awkward

 

serena627:

@spiralturquoise

 

brin-bellway:

I..seem to have accidentally hijacked your post, diaryofasnowflake. Sorry about that.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to hear from the rest of you guys, and maybe we can get together and talk recs sometime, but I’m not sure if this thread is the right place to do it.)

 

diaryofasnowflake:

Ha, no worries.  I appreciate the passion with which people are approaching this post, and to clarify, not all consensual kinky porn bothers me as “moralizing,” but those stories clearly exist, e.g. 50SoG name-dropping BDSM and throwing in protocols to legitimize unhealthy practices.  Yes, my disinterest with some consensual stories also amounts to personal taste.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see all different flavors of power exchange in fiction, folks.  Theeeee endddddd.

(Update, re: wandering through seas of non-con hoping to get lucky (so to speak): there has since been some progress in this field [link 1; link 2], and I encourage anyone who *does* go a-wandering to add some tags and help there be even more progress.)

Tags:

#(November 2015) #conversational aglets #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text

Anonymous asked: where is chives?

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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nathanielbuildsatesseract:

nonternary:

brin-bellway:

adzolotl:

working hard on the fanfic no doubt :D

also, Chives asked me an interesting question that I haven’t really had time to answer, that’ll probably happen this weekend.

Talking about planets with @comparativelysuperlative.

there has been a sudden proliferation in hatted anons, (if by ‘proliferation’ you mean ‘three that I know of’).

Three? I can only think of two.

Someone created @instructivehatanon, which brings it up to three that I know of.

Tags:

#(November 2015) #conversational aglets

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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sinesalvatorem:

brin-bellway:

sinesalvatorem:

The person who called me an anti-Semite and blocked me is now reblogging me on Israel/Palestine.

I am irrationally upset and very anxious, and this is dumb. Argh.

Last I heard, if you block them back they can’t reblog you.

But I kind of don’t want to, because it feels unvirtuous to block someone who isn’t doing anything to you. And then I would feel less like I have the moral high-ground when I think about that argument. (Although I so so do, because calling a Jew and anti-Semite for saying that gentiles are allowed to make mistakes about Hebrew is insane.)

Tags:

#(October 2015) #conversational aglets #Judaism #discourse cw?

Anonymous asked: Are you good as far as having drugs to make having the flu not suck so bad?

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stealthbaguette:

justice-turtle:

brin-bellway:

sinesalvatorem:

What type of drugs? Where can I get them? Will they cost more than $25? I’ve never bought flu medication back home. We use ~traditional herbs~ and suffering it out, because that’s the cheapest thing for it.

(will use chemical names because over-the-counter medicine brand names are ever-changing, often overly broad, and generally confusing)

(I spent long enough composing this that I’ve quite possibly been ninja’d, but hopefully this helps anyway.)

Relevant contents of my family’s basic medicine stock, available at any ordinary pharmacy (Pharmasave, Shoppers Drug Mart, stuff like that, also most grocery stores):

Pseudoephedrine: de-clogs stuffy noses. I don’t think it does anything for runny noses, or at least it didn’t seem to during my recent cold. While not particularly psychoactive itself (apparently it can be a stimulant, but not at the doses you’d be taking), is an ingredient in making meth, so you will likely be required to show ID and be forbidden from buying quantities that look suspiciously industrial. IME, wears off after 3 – 4 hours, but can only be taken every 6 (although you’re officially allowed to take another dose after only 4 as long as you don’t do it too often; see box for details). Plan your off times accordingly.

(Phenylephrine: …actually, let me just quote Wikipedia here. “Phenylephrine is marketed as an alternative for the decongestant pseudoephedrine, though clinical studies show phenylephrine to be no more effective than placebo.“ You might be tempted by it because it’s less restricted than pseudoephedrine, but don’t bother. If you have trouble obtaining pseudoephedrine, just go without.)

Dextromethorphan: reduces cough frequency, though not always to nothing. Taken twice a day, and also cannot be relied upon to actually last the whole time.

Guaifenesin: if you are having the kind of cough where you can feel there’s phlegm clogging your lungs but the cough’s not clearing it out, turns your coughing into the kind of cough that does clear it out. Kind of gross while the “productive” cough is going on, but you can breathe better afterward.

Dimenhydrinate: anti-nauseant, in case you need that sort of thing at the moment. Is also a sedative, so don’t take it if you want to be awake. Has a similar name to anti-allergy (and also sedative) diphenhydramine because it’s a similar chemical: you might be able to use them interchangeably in a pinch, but probably better to keep separate stocks of them if possible. Definitely don’t take them both at once, though. (Mind you, it’s general good policy to never take any sedative with another sedative, or any stimulant (including pseudoephedrine) with another stimulant.)

(With flus you probably don’t need an anti-diarrheal, but for future reference that’s loperamide. Half a pill renders you unable to poop for 24 – 36 hours. I recommend against taking a whole pill.)

The four main OTC pain relievers are ibuprofen, aspirin, acetaminophen, and naproxen. I generally use ibuprofen, but I’m not sure the difference is that important if you don’t have any medical issues forbidding one or another. (Oh, although, ibuprofen is nearly tasteless, so if you have trouble swallowing the pill, you can just chew it and it won’t be horrible.)

I don’t normally bother with topical anesthetic for sore throats (you open your mouth, aim the spray bottle at the back of your throat and press the button) because I find the feeling of numbness it replaces the pain with to be just as bad, but Mom uses phenol spray.

Note: all of these are sold in quantities too big for one cold suffered by one person. Rather than buying your own supply and having it expire before you can use it all, you may want to consider buying partial containers off of classmates. Possibly. Don’t blame me if something goes wrong with this plan.

Not relevant to the flu, but throwing in that the four OTC painkillers have vastly different effects on period cramps (ibuprofen is the most effective, acetaminophen the least). Also, if you have trouble swallowing a pill, I know both ibuprofen and acetaminophen come in chewable or flavored-liquid “children’s” forms. I’ve used the liquid form of ibuprofen when period cramps were upsetting my stomach too badly for a solid pill.

Re: runny and stuffy noses – use a nasal spray containing xylometazoline HCl (hydrochloride I think that abbreviation is?) and ipratopium Br (dunno what the fuck that is. Bromide????). (It’s marketed as Otrivin Duo in Holland, if you want to see the complete list of ingredients) 
It works to both temporarily stop the stuffy feeling AND the Niagra Falls in your nose.

Be advised you can’t use it for too long as you’ll experience nose bleeds with prolonged use as it dries out your nose like nobody’s business! It only relieves the symptom though (for 8ish hours), so do couple it with some fever reducers and painkillers that DON’T make you drowsy if you can’t afford to skip work. Optionally, have some moisturiser at hand because your nose is going to take a beating from all the dryness!

Also, shitloads of vitamine C, at least 1000 grams. Even if it won’t do much, it’ll at least get rid of the blegh pill taste ;).

(see also)

(Also, I later switched from ibuprofen to naproxen, and so far I’ve been finding it much more effective. If the first OTC painkiller you try doesn’t really seem to do much for you, consider trying another rather than assuming that’s just the amount of painkilling on offer.)

(also also, when considering taking multiple drugs at once, unless you’ve seen them marketed as a combo pack make sure to check for interactions, including with anything you were already taking)

Tags:

#(October 2015) #conversational aglets #illness tw #the more you know #medical cw

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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aprilwitching:

has anybody read the ted chiang short story “liking what you see”

its interesting sci-fi. i read it/am reading it today!

anyway, the reason im making this post is that the story made me realize i basically have the supposedly fictional condition that the story describes as “calliagnosia”? i think!

i mean, im not face-blind, but ive always known i had some perceptual oddities when it came to faces. the story seems to say that a normal person automatically has some kind of emotional or visceral response to seeing a really “beautiful” (or really “ugly”) face, and also that it is easy for a normal person to tell right away if another person is beautiful or ugly, without having to think about it. 

i dont have that, though! i asked @pipistrellusif it knew what that meant, to respond to human faces that way, if that was, like, a Thing. 

it didnt know, and then we commiserated over the shared experience of, like, trying to join in other peoples talk about cute boy band members or cute actresses or w/e, but not really being able to tell which ones were supposed to becute

pip kind of associated it with asexuality, which makes sense, but im not asexual– i can definitely be physically attracted to people– and i still have this issue

and, yk, i can think someone is interesting or appealing to look at, for sure, but it doesnt really seem to map on to whether they’re…?? like, sometimes people call other people “striking” and i get that! i TOTALLY understand “striking”! when someone is unusual-looking, with a lot of character and presence and visual interest to them. and sometimes im really attracted to that unusualness, that interestingness, right away. but like… “interestingness” for me, when its really attractive, is as likely to involve highly visible scars or crooked teeth as it is to involve big eyes or long, shiny hair or something. and the attraction still isnt really like a “turn on” thing or even a pleasure thing, not initially and not just based on appearance. its more a fascination, like how i feel when i see a really weird-looking, cool giant bug and immediately wanna pick it up or draw it or something. plus, while im not really face-blind, i do have a lot of trouble telling people with similar features apart unless i know them pretty well. (if anything, i think this pulls me awayfrom very conventionally attractive types a little bit, bc they can end up looking super indistinct/bland to me. sometimes i have trouble following the plots of movies if the actors look too similar in that way. its like im watching several copies of the man in the tan jacket– “well– he definitely had hair! and facial features!”)

anyway, i always figured most people look interesting and distinctive somehow when you look at them long enough, so i never really questioned those “everyone is beautiful in their own way!” and “if you have a really great personality, it will eventually shine through your physical appearance and you will look wonderful!” cliches. sure, i thought they were cheesy, and ineffective in actually changing social values/standards of beauty at all, and maybe a little misguided in the sense of why are we so focused on physical “good looks” over other stuff anyway. but i never felt like they were fundamentally untrue? i suppose a lot of people do though ( “well some people just ARE beautiful or ugly!”)

i remember telling someone about one of my many intense teenage crushes once, and i remember she said, after a really long, awkward pause, “well…im glad someone is really into [person]. im glad someone thinks [person] is cute. thats sweet.”

 

ozymandias271:

Ooh I definitely have an instinctive reaction of, like, “pretty face!” and “ugly face!”

It seems pretty uncorrelated to conventional attractiveness though? Like on one hand I go “pretty!” at girls with big breasts and lots of makeup and stuff, but on the other hand I also go “pretty!” at people with really kinky hair, or pudgy bellies, or big noses.

Also one of the biggest things for me seems to be, like, affect? Like there are people who are meh until you see them move or talk or, especially, smile, and then suddenly they are THE PRETTIEST and you want to stare at them ALL THE TIME.

And I *can* be sexually attracted to people who don’t make me go “pretty!” at first; like, I’ve definitely dated people where I can tell that they don’t have any of the traits that make me go “pretty!”, but also I am full of The Feels, and so they are SUPER PRETTY to me anyway.

 

ilzolende:

Liking What You See is also interesting from a youth-rights standpoint (and other standpoints I have), and it might be nice to discuss it that way sometime. In a post that started out being on that subject. I’ll write one later, perhaps, unless someone else writes one first.

 

brin-bellway:

@ ilzo: I’d be interested in that.

As for this conversation:

I’ve been considering the term “grey-aesthetic” regarding my relationship with beauty, and this seems to support that. Like, I can tell when someone (or something, I don’t feel like it’s different with faces vs objects) is pretty, and all else equal I’ll pick a pretty object over an ugly one, but it doesn’t feel…I usually don’t feel a pull towards pretty things, a desire to stare at it longer than I would stare at an aesthetically-neutral thing, a reward of pretty things doesn’t motivate me. I say I usually don’t feel a pull because every so often I do, every once in a while I’ll see a particular pretty thing that I feel an urge to stare at, and to possess if applicable. It’s always fleeting, though: before long (hours, maybe a day or two tops), it fades, and I’m back to “okay, so it’s pretty, so what?”.

(Actually, now that I think about it, sometimes it’s longer than a couple days with people; once it was a couple months, but that was someone I didn’t see very much. Perhaps the difference isn’t people vs objects, but rather level of access: a certain (fairly small) amount of time spent looking at the thing, however long it takes to get that much time in.)

(Also, on an unrelated note, this is the third Ted Chiang story I’ve been linked to (the others were “Hell Is the Absence of God” (broken link) and “Seventy-Two Letters”), and I liked all of them. Perhaps I should seek out more of Chiang’s work.)

 

justice-turtle:

*growls* I wrote a long thinky reblog about this and didn’t think to screenshot it, and tumblr mobile ate it… :P

(short version: I kinda remember having something like this as a teen but I’m not too sure I wasn’t just hella gay. Also long complicated questioning of possibly constructed sexuality with weird ties to childhood abuse factors.)

 

brin-bellway:

I was going to say “you really need an automatic text-backup add-on”, but then I looked and apparently add-ons have to be specifically made for mobile browsers, and a lot of the PC add-ons don’t have a mobile port. I couldn’t find any relevant add-ons on Android Firefox, so whatever you’re using might not have one either.

(Are you sure it’s not, like, hiding in your drafts folder or something?)

 

justice-turtle:

*pokes drafts just to be sure* Yeah, not there.

I use a text-backup addon for my laptop browsers, but yeah, I suspect finding a reliable one for iPhone (that works in the Tumblr app) is gonna be a long hunt. Haven’t been arsed to start that one yet. :P

Tags:

#(October 2015) #(AFAIK there is still no good way to do this on iOS) #conversational aglets #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #long post

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

rationalists-out-of-context:

So you’re telling me, all those years in which I’d be in a car desperate for the bathroom and they wouldn’t pull over, and I’d be frantically coming up with the dirtiest fantasies I could imagine, leaning against the window thinking about a spider queen stepping on me, and I thought it helped – all those times, it was PLACEBO, because I don’t have a PROSTATE?

…hmm. I’ve only encountered this from the other direction (having to *avoid* thinking too hard about sexy stuff when I *do* get to a bathroom), but I *have* encountered it. I don’t have a prostate (…as far as I know; barring some particularly subtle intersex condition), but I’m not sure how it could be placebo, since I wasn’t told to expect it.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #unsanitary cw?

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

prokopetz:

Okay, I know the real reason that the little coloured outlines on the severe weather advisory maps stop dead at the US/Canada border is that the Canadian weather service does not have the authority to issue weather advisories for US territories, but what it looks like at a casual glance is that the weather system is actually shaped like that.

Now I’m imagining a fantasy setting where the natural world really does respect political boundaries. Each country has its own totally isolated climate. Rivers need to be issued passports in order to flow between nations, or else they just stop at the border and start flooding everything. Migratory animals form orderly queues at customs checkpoints and have all their paperwork in order – nobody knows how they prepare it.

Tags:

#story ideas I will never write

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

prongsmydeer:

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

 

twelvemonkeyswere:

no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies

 

thesanityclause:

Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book

 

septimusprime:

Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.

 

dreadpiratemary:

Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.

 

zero0000:

“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!”
“Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.”
“Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!”
“He can’t he needs them to see.”

 

animatedamerican:

it got better

 

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like

You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them

And there is literally no common sense 

Anywhere to be found

Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve 

 

kat8noghosts:

Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up

The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.

But, but, but, you know the one person

the one person

who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?

Severus Snape.

Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.

‘Severus, he is my cousin.’

And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it

That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’

and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’

and just

Spare. Snape goes spare.

 

laurathia:

Picturing Snape as Mr. Crocker from the Fairly Oddparents now.

 

mariana-oconnor:

Gerald White eventually becomes a fully registered animagus. When he turns into his animagus form right in front of Snape, Snape’s bursting at the seams, just pointing at him and spluttering:

‘HE’S A BIG BLACK DOG! A DOG – THAT IS BLACK. SIRIUS BLACK. BLACK DOG DOG BLACK.’

And Remus calmly says: “That’s absurd, Severus. Sirius Black was never an animagus and besides which, people’s names don’t have any influence over their animagus forms or anything like that. That’s ridiculous.”

And Snape yells: “Shut it WEREWOLF MCWEREWOLF!”

Everyone looks at Remus, who blinks and sighs as Gerald White turns back into his human form.

“Pure coincidence,” Gerald says. “My aunt was into Roman mythology. Has to happen sometimes.” Then he pauses to give Snape an overly concerned look. “Are you alright, Severus? You’re looking a little red.”

 

thehufflenerd:

^this is my new life

 

tooweirdtolivetoogaytodie:

im crying thanks for this

 

my-insanity-is-an-artform:

Another point in the direction of Gerald White Not Being Sirius Black is that everyone knows Sirius Black hated Severus Snape.

Gerald White bakes the ungrateful dungeon bat cookies and is always polite to him. It so nice that Gerald really wants to be friends.

Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I might have reblogged an earlier version of this already but this one is even better) #long post

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

silentwalrus1:

silentwalrus1:

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’ 

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES] 

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food #disordered eating #I do not know this feel but the post is still hilarious #(personally‚ while having a low appetite took some getting used to I’m very happy with it now) #((also there are quite a few Puritans in my ancestry so there’s that))