Concept: immortal vampire scion of a dying royal line going to increasingly desperate lengths to get their various relations married off in a way that keeps themselves as far from the line of succession as possible, because the peculiar interaction between holy symbols and the vampiric condition means that if they ever actually inherit the divine right of kings, they’ll immediately explode.
So just… A really old guy forcing all of his grandkids to marry each other?
Precisely the opposite. Keeping it all in the family (so to speak) is a strategy for minimising competing claims to the succession; our hypothetical vampire wants there to be as many competing claims as possible, so that if one cadet branch dies out or gets delegitimised, there will be others to take up the slack.
If they’re the scion, they’ll have to go to some lengths to avoid it… depending on where they fall in the lineage. But, if it’s the English monarchy, they can just profess Roman Catholicism. Immediate disqualification.
I was about to propose some complicated metaphysical reason why that option isn’t on the table; upon consideration, however, it’s much funnier if there’s no reason it wouldn’t work, but the vampire would literally rather die than become Catholic.
Tags:
#vampires #story ideas I will never write #incest cw #death tw
You can tell the people who hacked twitter were normies because they didn’t use Obama’s account to post about the chaos emeralds.
Or worse, posting about how someone stole his shoelaces and he can’t find them
Fuck that would have been the best
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #high context jokes #(I’ll admit I don’t get the chaos-emerald one but I do get the shoelace one) #Twitter
An intriguing new twist, I think – it appears that if someone comments on a post and their tumblr is marked “contains sensitive content”, the comment doesn’t show up in your activity page. I noticed I wasn’t seeing all the comments to a post and went to the tumblrs of the people I wasn’t seeing, and both of them were marked for sensitive content.
Not sure if this is consistent or a bug or just coincidence or what, but folks may want to be aware it’s apparently going on.
Tags:
#I can kind of see why they’d do that but also #*long sigh* #PSA #Tumblr: a User’s Guide
I like that English and French have a similar thing going on with the sayings “He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed” and “Il n’a pas inventé l’eau chaude” (he didn’t invent hot water). In both cases there are many established variants; some are quite normal (not the brightest bulb in the box / “il n’a pas inventé la poudre à canon”, he didn’t invent gunpowder), then you can make it a bit sillier, “he isn’t the crunchiest chip in the bag / quickest bunny in the forest”, “il n’a pas inventé le fil à couper le beurre / la machine à courber les bananes” (he didn’t invent the butter slicer wire / the banana-curving machine), and we also both enjoy making them absurd via crossbreeding (he isn’t the sharpest bunny in the box / il n’a pas inventé le fil à couper l’eau chaude – he didn’t invent the hot water slicer wire) and so on and so forth
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #language
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