(status: I acknowledge that this is psychological damage from an extended period of financial hardship during formative years, but I nonetheless mostly endorse it)
Hmm. I seem to be having a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this.
There seems to be a…maybe “divide” is too strong a word, I don’t know. But…like, I called it “fuck-you money vs fuck-me money” in a post a while back. Even when the actions are the same, there’s this psychological difference in how people can approach it.
When I see FIRE people, they always frame it in terms of *freedom*. (It’s right there in the acronym: Financially *Independent*, Retiring Early.) But to me, it strikes me as being a thing about *safety*. “Enough money that you can run your household solely off the interest from your investments” can protect you from a lot of different problems, and *that’s* why the idea appeals to me.
A few weeks ago I saw some distant acquaintance-of-an-acquaintance on Tumblr (I don’t recall who) advising a young person with a high-paying job and relatively low expenses (Silicon Valley programmer, I think, or something like that) to go on some trips and enjoy themself, because they weren’t going to have this much disposable income again until their forties if not later. And it felt like a very weird framing to me, because…the way I see it, if future-me doesn’t have money to spare, then neither do I. I don’t have spare money unless I can afford to feed myself, and I can’t truly afford to feed myself unless I can afford to feed *all* of my selves.
16-year-old me got to eat because 7-year-old me’s dad put away some “”extra””, and eventually that “”extra”” was all he had left. Where is 33-year-old me getting *her* food from?
Because if the source isn’t me, then I don’t trust it to come through for her. I want to do all I can to make sure that, no matter who is or is not willing to employ her or for how much, 33-year-old me (and 44-year-old me, and 55-year-old me…) is fed and housed and so forth.
—
(This was going to be a tag ramble, but then I thought it should probably stay with the post if somebody reblogs it to respond or something. I’m just going to leave it in tag format.)
#this post probably partly inspired by my first anniversary of non-freelance employment #which is coming up soon #I think I will celebrate by scheduling the dental checkup I have been putting off for ~3 years because I didn’t feel I could afford it #(yes government healthcare does not cover dental) #(OHIP has some very weird-looking exceptions) #(this is probably the result of some kind of complicated political negotiation that I’m not sure I want to know the details of) #anyway a dental checkup seems like a good compromise between celebratory and practical #(and [practical celebrations are easier to enjoy]/[I find myself drawn to practical gifts these days anyway including gifts I buy for myself]) #((that safety thing manifests here especially)) #((the things I dream of buying these days are always things that protect you from something)) #((checkups that protect you from tooth damage and electric cars that protect you from rising oil prices and solar-powered phone chargers that protect you from power outages)) #((this I am much less sure I endorse)) #((I mean I think it is good to want practical things but it would also probably be good if I felt safe enough to want a few non-practical things too)) #(((sometimes on especially bad brain days I can’t even bring myself to play Flight Rising))) #(((that is currently the most common cause of my FR hiatuses))) #(((it used to be the most common cause was that I felt like playing some other game instead)))
#I will put this in the tags though: #I was reading my Tumblr archive recently and *damn* 2014!me was having a hard time #she didn’t talk about it much in public but occasionally she couldn’t quite hold it in anymore and it leaked out into a post #I felt very sorry for her #basically what I’m saying is #hi 2022!me #I hope you’re in a good enough position that you can feel sorry for me rather than going ”yeah I still know that feel” #(but if so please do still provide for farther-future!us) #(just with a healthier frame of mind) #(maybe buy solar chargers *and* video games)
Hi, 2018!me.
I won’t lie to you: I do still know that feel. Things haven’t really changed much for us financially: still a slow bleeding kept at bay by unpredictable one-time cash infusions, still with a-home-in-good-repair being a cherished but distant dream. Still taking some gigs at $1.30/hour, though only the especially easy ones now. We graduated last year, and the diploma’s been *exactly* as much of a waste of time and resources as we feared it would be, though I have not quite lost hope altogether. I have made only $309 in deposits to my retirement fund, in the time since I was you.
Financially, we still don’t have the stability and security that we long for.
*Non*-financially, though, our position has improved. We’ve made new friends, and even mostly managed to keep the old, and (in addition to the non-practicality-related aspects) they’ve taught us (and we them) many useful things. I’m in better shape now: not *great* shape, but on a good day I can run for half an hour straight (almost two miles!), and even on moderately bad days I can do twenty minutes. I still work at the restaurant, but I’m allowed to mask at work now (I know, right, we thought that would *never* happen, didn’t even dare hope for it), and we were–by, admittedly, a terrifyingly narrow margin–not fucked over by the travesty that set the precedent that workplaces allow employees to mask.
(If this were two-way communication, I’d have opened with advice on getting higher-grade and more durable masks while they’re still easy to come by, so that the margin won’t be so terrifyingly narrow. But it isn’t, and I will have to content myself with knowing that it worked out for us in the end.)
(It didn’t work out, for a lot of people. A lot of people, in a lot of ways, are worse off now than they were in 2018. I do not live in as flourishing a world as we would hope.
But we, personally, were fortunate in this regard: we rose through the cracks of the problems that hit everyone, and that actually ended up counteracting a lot of the problems that were specific to us. It’s where most of the one-time cash infusions came from; it’s why I haven’t been sick–not *really* sick, not anything bad enough to make me wish I were unconscious–in over three and a half of the four years that separate us.)
((common-cold-induced depression isn’t normal, BTW. you know that weird non-depressive cold we had in December of 2017? yeah, that’s just what colds are like for normal people. sure does explain a lot about why people are Like That.))
The Ontarian government has announced plans to start covering dental care in a couple of years (a long enough delay that I’ve decided it’s still worth paying for a checkup this year, though I may skip next year). Our parents’ pensions will start trickling in next year, with the bigger ones starting in 2025. I still have a couple more ideas for how to break into an accounting career, and I still have the option of changing tacks and making a living in an unrelated field.
In the time since I was you, I have bought both a solar panel and a video game.
One way or another, we’ll get through this.
Remember, I love you.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #oh look an update #adventures in human capitalism #adventures in University Land #in which Brin has a job #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers #covid19 #illness tw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #venting cw? #bragging cw? #kind of both
1. Tim Rice wanted to write a musical about chess since he was born, but couldn’t figure out a high-stakes plotline. He was really excited when he learned about the Cold War.
2. Tim Rice wanted Andrew Lloyd Webber to help him write a musical about chess, but Andrew Lloyd Webber wanted Tim Rice to help him write a musical about cats. They both called each other fucking morons, and there was an intense stand-off where all the pent-up sexual tension came to a boiling point.
3. Hateful words were exchanged that day, words that were regretted the moment they were said but that could never be taken back, words like “you plagiarized every good bit of music you’ve written,” “you have never written a good lyric,” “your face looks like the word moist.”
4. .Tim Rice next turned to Stephen Sondheim, but Sondheim said he was in the middle of an adaptation of a Kaufman and Hart play with George Furth.
5. As a last resort, Tim Rice met with the Swedish pop group ABBA. Since chess does not exist in Sweden, they thought it was a game of Tim Rice’s own invention.
6. Musicals did not exist in Sweden either. ABBA thought Tim Rice was an eccentric genius inventing a whole new game game and a whole new genre of media just to showcase that game–or vice versa. They were eager to collaborate.
7. There was a legal dispute over some songs and lyrics that were stolen wholesale from March of the Falsettos such as “I’m Breaking Down” (sung by Florence), “This Had Better Come to a Stop” (sung by every character to Freddie) and, of course, “The Chess Game.” Even though March of the Falsettos wouldn’t be written for another 10 years, the ACLU got involved, and William Finn won.
8. Tim Rice and ABBA got along well, but Tim Rice missed Andrew Lloyd Webber. He longed for the days when they would put on top hats and coattails and stroll down the River Thames, tossing street urchins stale crusts of bread for a shoe shine. But neither would apologize for their words on that fateful day.
9. The book for the musical was turning out to be a major problem. It was not shaping up the way anyone wanted it to. Tim Rice refused to turn to Andrew Lloyd Webber to help. Instead, he sought the aid of numerous writers including William Goldman, Carrie Fisher, and Edward Norton, none of whom could help. “Go back to Andrew,” Carrie implored, “he misses you.” But there was too much pride at stake.
10. As of today, there are over 1,760 major rewrites and versions of Chess. None of them work.
Tags:
#unreality cw #Chess: the Musical #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #I don’t go here but ”your face looks like the word moist” is a hell of a line
all goofs aside I do think it would very funny if beloved airhead billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne was like. VERY publicly forklift certified and happily reminds everyone of it every time Wayne Enterprises social media posts a publicity picture of Bruce swinging by one of the factories, wearing a hard hat and hanging with the working folks.
Bruce retweets this to the Official Bruce Wayne social media and it’s always “So great to meet the people who make our work possible! What we do at Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t be possible without these hardworking folks. They seemed so surprised when I told them I’m also forklift certified! Maybe I can drive one next time.”
the man is always reminding people that he theoretically COULD operate a forklift but no one will let him because that’s Bruce Fucking Wayne and it just seems safer to Not.
meanwhile Batman, obviously, can operate a forklift but isn’t technically certified due to the technically impossible nature of getting a certification made out to The Goddamn Batman, which culminated in Batman having to (briefly!!!) drive a forklift in the process of foiling someone’s stupid warehouse-related scheme and briefly becoming a meme when someone gets a picture and starts a furious online debate over whether or not Batman can be operating heavy machinery. “flying a fighter jet down city streets is one thing but I’m drawing the line here, this is an OSHA violation,” that kind of thing. #batsVosha gets trending probably.
Bruce, ever the opportunist, capitalizes on this by tweeting out an open invitation for the Batman to stop by Wayne Enterprises for a course in forklift safety.
Tags:
#Batman #fanfic #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #embarrassment squick?
Remember, if it’s been at least 2 months since your last covid vaccine (whatever it was), and you are over 18, you qualify for the new covid bivalent booster. This booster specifically targets Omicron B.A.4 and B.A.5., which are the dominant strains in the US, and account for over 98% of new covid infections.
As of a couple days ago, this was authorized for emergency use in the US. Your local vaccination place should be getting these in stock within a week or two.
Covid is still a threat. Get vaccinated if you can.
Excellent info!
Here is an article in case people want to read more about that sort of thing.
#I got a fourth dose of univalent in July so I’m not eligible until January #I stand by my decision: *I* have a respirator‚ but I get a lot of indirect exposure through my family members and #frankly it’s a miracle Brother hasn’t *already* brought one Omicron or another home from work #in order to worry about the long term you have to make it through the short term first #I’ve made notes on the family calendar for the 5th-dose eligibility dates of me‚ Dad‚ and Mom #and I’ll be keeping an eye out for changes in that date: #Ontario often starts with a long dose interval but then shortens it later as supplies catch up #(Brother hasn’t even had a *third* dose‚ let alone a fourth‚ and could go for the bivalent as soon as they’re rolled out) #(but I don’t know that there’s anything I could say that would make him *more* likely to do it rather than less) #(my best bet might be to stay silent and hope he comes to the conclusion on his own) #PSA #covid19 #vaccines #illness tw #home of the brave #our home and cherished land #reply via reblog
Maggie Silber-Lin knows that eating is a normal part of human life. There’s nothing inherently shameful about it. It’s just hard, sometimes, to make a living writing about food, when it’s such a sensitive topic, even inside her own head. But everyone has to – well. Survive.
(A series of vignettes in a world that looks more different from our own than it is.)
I finally posted my creative writing thesis! A series of vignettes about food. Also about sex. Also about trying to be a real person when you’re kind of a disaster.
Tags:
#I saw (via moral-autism) transgenderer’s post calling this a ”really good bit of sociological specfic” #”presumably they posted it on their blog but i cant find it”‚ she said‚ when linking it herself #either my Tumblr-fu is better or I’m just more stubborn‚ because I found the author’s own crosspost #seemed polite to reblog that one instead #this is interesting stuff and I recommend it #for best effect‚ read it while high off your gourd on hormones‚ having already been contemplating other twists your wiring could have taken #it’s an experience #it’s not‚ I admit‚ an experience available to you‚ dear reader‚ but it’s an experience #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #sexuality and lack thereof #food #storytime #recs #(I do think it carries some of that all-too-common vibe of privacy/sanctity/profundity-as-something-learned-and-something-best-unlearned) #(although you could also interpret it as…not *knowing* how much of it is learned‚ and having no way of knowing‚ and #having to make your peace with that) #((I know I’ve told the yo-yo story a couple of times now)) #((but I also know that most people never had an opportunity to find out if they were the kind of kid who would react that way)) #((and I know that of those who *did* have such opportunities‚ I rarely-to-never hear of any who reacted like I did)) #((so there’s that)) #tag rambles
one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math
to be fair, you’d assume the name means “there’s a lot of spiders here,” not, “there is one spider the size of a draft horse here.” so you go up expecting to have to shoo a lot of skeeter eaters out of your tent, and instead you have to figure out how to rope and shoe godzillarantula.
Hmmm…They do live in a world where godzillarantulas feature prominently in mythology and history (Ungoliant plunged the world into darkness, scared the crap out of Sauron’s old boss, etc) and existed within the last century in Mirkwood. Assuming they ever talk to anyone who’s been to Mirkwood. They… probably know they were giant spiders in Mirkwood pretty recently? It’s hard to figure out how much anyone in Middle-earth has been talking to anyone else when we didn’t actually see it.
On the other hand – what if it’s the giant evil spiders’ prominence in history/mythology that’s causing trouble? What if lots of evil/nasty things/places get called “spider” just to indicate how nasty and evil they are, rather than any association with literal spiders, and it’s just… overloaded? Maybe the bad part of town in Minas Tirith is the Spider District. Maybe every tavern trying to be edgy calls itself the Spiderweb.
Actually spider/Ungoliant references could be really appealing to Gondorians trying to be edgy. They’re dark and evil! Plunged the world into darkness! But they AREN’T involved in the war they’re actually fighting, they aren’t directly associated with Sauron at all, so getting too interested in them would be creepy without being potentially treasonous. Because no one’s ACTUALLY going to worship those dangerous but not epic spiders up in Mirkwood, and no one’s heard anything from any proper spawn of Ungoliant in ages and ages.
In fact, spider/Ungoliant references might be appealing to ORCS trying to express that something is nasty and creepy! Nobody likes Ungoliant.
Maybe Faramir’s been to fourteen different Spider Caves across Ithilien, and half of them he didn’t even see regular spiders in, they’re just dark and damp and may have had orcs at some point, or something, and at some point in history someone got spooked. So you know, it’s POSSIBLE Spider Pass has something to do with spiders? But really it just means people don’t like it.
(The problem with this theory is we never actually SAW anyone overusing spider references. But it’s plausible they would!)
“The average spider on Middle Earth is the size of a dinner plate” is a statistical error. The average spider on Middle Earth is smaller than a coin. Cirith Ungol (lit: Spiders Gorge), which contains a spider larger than a horse, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
this map, by jonathan hull, shows all the places in the USA named after the devil or hell. assuming big giant awful spiders were a common thing in middle earth, it’s likely that there were a shit ton of Spider Stairways.
you don’t wander into Devil’s Lick assuming that satan himself is gonna give you a rimjob. you presumably also don’t head up Spider Stairs assuming an arachnid the size of a cottage is gonna try and eat your friend.
FUN FACT: A huge portion of the “Devil’s [OBJECT]” names in Wyoming are from a poor bastard called John Coulter, who was probably the first white man to see Yellowstone! He saw it because he got seperated from the Lewis and Clark expidition on their way back east, decided that with winter coming on, he should head south to stay ahead of the weather, rather than east to try to catch up with the party, and instead got lost inside the Yellowstone caldera, the COLDEST fucking part of Wyoming, with its scalding, posionous geysers, earthquakes, massive packs of wolves that weren’t afraid of people yet, and temperatures hitting as low as Negative 40, and naturally assumed that he had somehow taken a wrong turn into the Nnth Circle of Hell.
He lived, managed to get out of the caldera, took extensive notes on the landscape, eventunally met up with some Blackfoot tribesmen who gave him a horse and directions to the nearest european settlement, and he left, naming every single notable feature after hell or the Devil, because Wyoming is clearly His Infernal Country.
So as far as Frodo knows, “Spiders Pass” was just named by a particularly disgruntled and arachnophobic field cartographer.
Tags:
#that one post with the thing #it got better #Middle Earth #language #names #spiders #Spiders Georg #maps #geography #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what #hell cw?
recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours
Tags:
#stuff I take routinely is on the lower shelf of my coffee table for easy access from my laptop area #stuff I take occasionally-as-needed is in the cupboard in the hallway outside of the bathroom #the cabinet above the bathroom sink is for grooming supplies‚ not medicine #surveys #domesticity #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #medical cw?
Brinens and Things 