Ever since reading Jingo, I’ve been wondering what happened in the other leg of the trousers of Time.
All we really know is that the Klatchians attack Ankh-Morpork, take the city, and a bunch of people die.
Carrot dies. Littlebottom dies. Reg Shoe dies…more, or again, or something. Dorfl and Detritus both die, within minutes of each other, which makes me really curious about what kind of firepower the other guys had. Vimes dies.
Vetinari presumably gets killed or captured, which means captured, which means he’s fine. And pity the poor invaders who have to occupy a city that contains Sybil Ramkin. I can never keep track of what order the books happen in, but if Moist was in the city when the army was arriving he proceeded to manage not to be. The wizards will notice that the city fell when they miss the next daily delivery of a week’s worth of food.
The thing is, though, this isn’t all that destabilizing. I mean, mass death, bad, but the city has a procedure for this. When the bodies have been carted away and buried or tossed in the Ankh to make it that much cleaner, the first Morporkian voice you hear belongs to the most Morporkian person there is.
“Meat pies! Sausage inna bun! Hot dogs! Onna stick!”
Because when the invaders are battering down the walls, you open the doors and sell them things and before you know it they’re as Morporkian as you are. There’s most of a national anthem about it. Ankh-Morpork the province of Klatch is going to be worse than before. Most of the Watch and a lot of bystanders are dead, and Vetinari can’t keep the Guilds handled until he gets back in power. But it’s still Ankh-Morpork. And even with half our favorite characters gone, well, the Turtle moves.
- # has anyone written stuff set in the alternate timeline where this happened? That seems like it should exist (comparativelysuperlative)
Can’t think of any, but I’m sure it’s out there somewhere. Anyone else know?
someone…someone really needs to be doing this…
Tags:
#(September 2015) #conversational aglets #(unfortunately this *does* appear to have been the end of the thread; there were no responses with recs) #Discworld #death tw #story ideas I will never write





















