another-normal-anomaly:

evolution-is-just-a-theorem:

gffa:

gffa:

gffa:

–From a Certain Point of View, ”An Incident Report” by Mallory Ortberg

“It must, however, be pointed out that at present the number of planets destroyed solely by the unaided power of the Force is zero.”

MOTTI JUST DRAGGED THE FUCK OUT OF VADER I AM FUCKING LIVING

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“I imagine Lord Vader would have had to stand very close to the planet Alderaan indeed today if he wanted to demonstrate how thoroughly his Force-wielding abilities outmatch the Death Star.”

THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO DIE, BUT IT WILL BE IN SERVICE OF THE MOST GLORIOUS DRAGGING OF VADER I HAVE EVER SEEN.

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“I merely spoke the truth: Lord Vader’s devotion to a nearly extinct faith has not resulted in the recovery of the stolen data tapes, nor has it given him insight into the rebels’ secret base, nor has he ever destroyed a planet.”

“He found my lack of faith disturbing?  I have never claimed to be an adherent to his sect.  I found his lack of faith in this military installation disturbing.”

MOTTI IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE IN A SPACE DITCH WHERE VADER DUMPS HIS BODY BUT HOLY SHIT HE WENT OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED LEGEND

I’m pretty sure the force *has* destroyed planets.

Yeah, my fiance clarified this morning that the force has been used to destroy multiple planets. However, this occurred several thousand years prior at a lower level of canonicity, so Motti can hardly be blamed for not remembering that.


Tags:

#Star Wars #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

evolution-is-just-a-theorem:

treesinspace:

treesinspace:

Honestly, for a criminal in Ankh-Morpork, being pursued by Samuel Vimes must be TERRIFYING
Just imagine:

You’re walking in the Shades.
There’s no one around and your gang is gone.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
Samuel Vimes. 

He’s following you, about thirty feet back.
He gets out of the shadows and breaks into a sprint
He’s gaining on you!
Samuel Vimes.

You’re looking for your gang but you’re all turned around
He’s almost upon you now
and you can see there’s blood on his face
My Gods, there’s blood everywhere!

Running from Commander Samuel Vimes
He’s brandishing his badge it’s Samuel Vimes
Lurking in the shadoooows!
His Grace the Duke of Ankh Samuel Vimes
Patrolling the streets (Samuel Vimes)
Solving all crimes (Samuel Vimes)
Arresting the guiltyyyy

Actual By-The-Book Samuel Vimes!

Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him
but you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with the Blackboard Monitor!
You creep silently through the streets

Aha! In the distance!
An old safehouse of your gang friends!
Hope! You move stealthily toward it…
but your scent! Ah! It’s caught by a werewolf!

Covering your tracks (Quiet, quiet)
Sneaking to the safehouse (Quiet, quiet)
Now you’re on the doorstep
Sitting inside: Samuel Vimes

Lighting a Cigar (Samuel Vimes)
He’s coming to arrest you (Samuel Vimes)
You’re taking out your weapooon
Threatening Commander Samuel Vimes

Moving in to fight with Samuel Vimes
Get kicked in the crotch by Samuel Vimes
Puking on the floooor
Arrested by Samuel Vimes!

You limp into the dark streets
Handcuffs tight around your wrists
And he has won; you’ve been beaten by
Samuel Vimes.

#is this a theme song?#there should be a tune for this

It’s a reference to this song. Which is, incidentally, hilarious.


Tags:

#Discworld #music #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #it probably says something about just how long I’ve been on Tumblr #that I knew immediately what song this was referencing #Shia Labeouf #vomit mention

moyaofthemist:

HEY Y’ALL IT’S HEALTH CARE TIME

GO SIGN UP

HEALTHCARE.GOV

GO. YOU HAVE 45 DAYS. GO NOOOOOW.

(sorry for shouting, but open enrollment is only nov 1 – dec 15 this year with minimal advertising to tell folks it’s open. go. please. get yourself covered.)


Tags:

#on the off chance that you haven’t all heard this a zillion times by now #PSA #signal boost #home of the brave


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mugasofer:

brin-bellway:

justice-turtle:

biscuitsarenice:

Black and British: A Forgotten History 

Francis Barber’s descendant Cedric Barber [x] [x]

#kind of perpetually surprised that this is surprising #generations and genetics happen? #smaller phenotype populations are mixed into the larger ones #this doesn’t mean they magically disappeared #or were never there

I don’t know about the British perspective, but coming to it as a white USian raised in Southern culture, I think at least some of the reason this isn’t obvious to a lot of people is that we do have that history of blood quantum, of tracking whether someone was one-eighth or one-sixteenth black and refusing them civil rights, of basically forcing the black community to intermarry among themselves, so that they *didn’t* mix out and disappear this way. (Of course, there were also a lot more black folks in USia than there ever were in Britain, I’m not saying that’s the only reason. Just, I think that is a part of the perspective I’m personally coming from. *thinking out loud*)

As a white USian raised in *Northern* culture, I’m not surprised by the intermarriage thing, but I *am* surprised by this clip nonetheless. The surprising thing is that they portray *positively* this guy having an Emotional Connection to His Ancestral Culture because of someone from *five generations back*.

Once you get to smaller fractions than one-quarter or so, having Emotional Connections like that stops being Celebrating Your Heritage and starts being Failing to Stay in Your Lane. The “white person who makes a big deal out of being 1/32 Cherokee” is a *negative* archetype.

As it happens, I too have a black former-slave great-great-great-grandfather (and likewise no black ancestry more recent than that). I don’t have an Emotional Connection about this, but…like, you have no reason to believe me when I say that, because I would say it regardless of whether it were true. You bet your ass I wouldn’t dare openly claim a Connection: it would be seen as cheating, as trying to claim the advantages of being black while skipping out on the disadvantages.

That’s interesting; maybe I’ve been primed by the above, but I would not view you having an Emotional Connection to your former-slave ancestor …

… depending on the form of the connection, of course. It would be weird if you literally identified as nonwhite (I think this is the point of the “1/32 Cherokee” thing?)

Well, I *am* Schrodinger’s White†, but that’s not from the one-drop black, it’s from the one-half Ashkenazi.

(But even then I try to avoid doing anything that even *suggests* claiming non-white-ness, partly because I suspect I would lose the ensuing argument over whether I deserve the privileges (so to speak) of that rank (I pretty much always collapse to white, since I’m pretty much always observed by people for whom that’s the lower-status answer), partly because–as someone who has literally never experienced anti-Semitism–playing the Jew card feels dishonest and distasteful, and partly because I think encouraging the idea of Judaism as innate is counterproductive (I want religion exit rights, mostly on general principles but with a side of “if I ever somehow *do* fall into the hands of people who think Judaism is a disease, I want them to think it’s a *curable* disease so I can let them cure me and survive”).)

“Oh, but it’s a different *form* of connection” reads to me as an excuse from someone who *was* trying for a best-of-two-worlds power-grab and is backpedalling now that they’ve realised they aren’t going to get away with it. Mind you, I *am* fairly paranoid and *do* have a tendency to see power struggles where they may or may not actually exist.

†When I am observed, the waveform collapses into whichever answer is lower-status by the observer’s standards.


Tags:

#*knocks on wood* #reply via reblog #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #racism cw? #anti-semitism cw? #Judaism #inb4 someone blames my hierarchical thinking on my germophobia #(also tbh I don’t *like* talking about Judaism pretty much at all) #(even mentioning it can feel like encouraging people to see it as a Big Deal) #(when really I want it to be at most a Little Deal)

justice-turtle:

biscuitsarenice:

Black and British: A Forgotten History 

Francis Barber’s descendant Cedric Barber [x] [x]

#kind of perpetually surprised that this is surprising #generations and genetics happen? #smaller phenotype populations are mixed into the larger ones #this doesn’t mean they magically disappeared #or were never there

I don’t know about the British perspective, but coming to it as a white USian raised in Southern culture, I think at least some of the reason this isn’t obvious to a lot of people is that we do have that history of blood quantum, of tracking whether someone was one-eighth or one-sixteenth black and refusing them civil rights, of basically forcing the black community to intermarry among themselves, so that they *didn’t* mix out and disappear this way. (Of course, there were also a lot more black folks in USia than there ever were in Britain, I’m not saying that’s the only reason. Just, I think that is a part of the perspective I’m personally coming from. *thinking out loud*)

As a white USian raised in *Northern* culture, I’m not surprised by the intermarriage thing, but I *am* surprised by this clip nonetheless. The surprising thing is that they portray *positively* this guy having an Emotional Connection to His Ancestral Culture because of someone from *five generations back*.

Once you get to smaller fractions than one-quarter or so, having Emotional Connections like that stops being Celebrating Your Heritage and starts being Failing to Stay in Your Lane. The “white person who makes a big deal out of being 1/32 Cherokee” is a *negative* archetype.

As it happens, I too have a black former-slave great-great-great-grandfather (and likewise no black ancestry more recent than that). I don’t have an Emotional Connection about this, but…like, you have no reason to believe me when I say that, because I would say it regardless of whether it were true. You bet your ass I wouldn’t dare openly claim a Connection: it would be seen as cheating, as trying to claim the advantages of being black while skipping out on the disadvantages.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #racism cw? #our roads may be golden or broken or lost


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mazurah:

squelchsquelch:

Reminder to turn off tumblr’s stupid “best first” feature now that it’s rolled out!

Go to profile>settings (the gear)>global settings>dashboard preferences

How to Get Rid of This Shit for Dummies:

Okay, I could only figure out how to turn this off on MOBILE! It doesn’t seem to give you the option on desktop. So I’m sharing an even greater in-depth tutorial (with images) on how to turn this off.

On MOBILE go to the fourth tab at the bottom that looks like a little person: 

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Then at the top of the screen click the little gear

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At the top of the screen find the option General Settings

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Then find Dashboard Preferences

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And switch “Best Stuff First” to the OFF position: 

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To reiterate, that’s: 

Profile – Settings – General Settings – Dashboard Preferences – Best Stuff First – OFF 

In my experience, settings DO extend across platforms, so if you turn it off on mobile, you should be good on the desktop version as well. 

Please reblog!


Tags:

#The Great Tumblr Apocalypse #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #oh look an update #here’s a reminder for those of you who use mobile #now that they’ve actually released it