Bucky was sitting at the kitchen island when Steve wandered in, looking for a mid-afternoon snack. There was a heap of black leather on the granite surface in front of him, and he was working vigorously at the lining with a needle and thread. It was just a touch too glossy to be Nat’s catsuit, and too big to be one of Bucky’s motorcycle jackets, which left only…
“Is that Nick Fury’s trenchcoat?” Steve asked, with open horror. He’d thought the therapist was making headway on Bucky’s latent suicidal tendencies.
“Yep.” Bucky replied, tying a knot and snipping the thread away. He stood and shook out the coat.
It jingled.
Like a Christmas stocking.
“And you say I’m the reckless one,” Steve shook his head. “Well, it’s been nice knowing you, Buck. I hope Fury kills you quickly.”
“You are the reckless one. I’ll be wearing a parachute when I jump off the helicarrier to escape.”
Steve couldn’t argue with that.
He wondered if Bucky had a plan to evade the Quinjets after he jumped.
kingofmemes posted:
i may spend the rest of my life in boat jail, but at least the pirate king cant sneak up on me anymore.
Anyway if Admiral Janeway had never gone back in time and the show had stayed on the air for the additional 16 years it took for them to get home Voyager would have ended this year.
Tags:
#interesting #Star Trek #Voyager #(I tried double-checking the numbers on this) #(and because of rounding issues it’s hard to tell if it’s right) #(I think if it’s off it’s only by one year)
“So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”
“Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”
“So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”
“You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y’all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”
“My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”
“So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”
“I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by Baylor policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”
“And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”
“All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”
[makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]
Round two:
“You don’t want conservatives! You want someone that will redistribute a little wealth! Get some commies! But don’t ask for them out loud, or it won’t end well.”
“Occasionally someone will walk into your office and start with ‘well just as a matter of principle…’ and that right there? That’s when you pull out your extra-strength Advil, because it will be a long day.”
“You can walk into a restaurant and just say, ‘I want tea.’ Sweet is implied! If you don’t want it sweet, it’s ‘tea, hold the sugar,’ and I like that!”
“My biggest goal is to die in Texas. When Gabriel’s trumpet blows, I will be resurrected from Texas dirt… if at all. Depends on his standards.”
“And I say, ‘How much will you pay me?’ and they say ‘a shitload!’ And I say, ‘how much is a shitload?’ and what do you know? Our definitions match”
“So you see that it’s an unincorporated association, and your reaction to that should be ‘shit!’ That is absolutely the proper reaction. That’s a good reaction.”
“You know it’s not perjury if you cross your fingers, right?”
“I would definitely shank someone for pizza.”
“Right now you’re… you’re lawyer larvae. I have a sense for these things.”
“So obviously Congress sprang into action. Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A QUARTER CENTURY”
Round three:
“And by that I mean CRAC, the acronym, not c-r-a-c-k as in crack. Although I was a defense attorney for a long time, so if you want to know how to make crack, we can cover that in a side session. It’s good information. Very interesting.”
“And then I file a complaint against my employer for discriminating against me as a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. You know… [sarcastically] the historically discriminated against crew”
“Listen, I like money. It’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. You can like it just fine.”
“With the well-pleaded complaint rule, we take a scalpel and we carve out the cause of action. We lift it out of the body, bleeding! It is BLEEDING in your hands! You hold it in front of your face and you ask it, ‘WHO CREATED YOU?’ [groaning] ‘A federal law.’ ‘THEN YOU ARE A FEDERAL CASE!’ If it’s a state case, you cast it, still-beating, aside. And stomp on it.”
[with deep respect] “You would make a really good anarchist”
“Beaumont? How’s your family doing?” “Pretty well. I mean, everything is underwater, but it’s fine.”
“Your argument is what? ‘You can’t make that much money because it isn’t fair?’ This is America. Fair doesn’t matter.”
“We need ONLY one more thing: someone rich to sue. Can she help us?? We don’t know… until she describes one word on the side of that truck…. ‘Walmart.’ CHA C H I N G (don’t say that part out loud)! What’s forty percent of thirty million?? TWELVE MILLION. Forty percent is the ONLY math I can do in my head, because that is PRIVATE JET MONEY, BABY! The ONLY POINT of being rich is to HAVE A PRIVATE JET, because THOSE THAT DO can MANIPULATE TIME. As you can see, I am passionate on this point.”
“See this is a tough question because legislators are supposed to make laws, but how would you know that? They haven’t done it in YEARS.”
“Listen I don’t condone murder-suicide, but like… I feel it.”
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #there is probably some warning tag I should put on this but I am not sure what
The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.
Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.
They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.
“Here’s your change, ma’am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.
“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”
“Yes.”
You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.
“Ma’am–no, ma’am, you have to take the dragon, too.”
“Sorry?”
The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”
They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.
The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.
“Have a nice day, ma’am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”
From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.
Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.
Also listened to “The Sweet Tooth”, which reminds me very much of reading “The Glad Hosts”.
They both feel strongly like somebody took a cliche, paint-by-numbers erotic-horror story, stripped out the conventionally-sexual content*, and gave it to a vanilla audience who wouldn’t recognise its pattern.
And so you’re like “…do they know? Is that what they did, or did they independently reinvent this standard plot?”
(IIRC, there’s an RPA behind-the-scenes bit that suggests they didn’t know, and that they did independently reinvent this plot. Which is interesting, in a convergent-evolution kind of way. “The lure is a chocolate shop, and women liking chocolate is for whatever reason more of a Thing than it is for men” and “this story is porn aimed at gynephiles” both lead to the same result of all-female targets.)
*But didn’t do a complete job of it: you can still see traces. Mai’s “love erotic”; the way the shop preys exclusively on women.
Tags:
#I mean yeah the villain loses in this one #but that *would* be a side effect of translating the plot from a genre where the villain usually wins to a genre where they never do #Red Panda Adventures #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw text? #reactionblogging #tmi? #for some reason it took me longer to notice with Glad Hosts than with Sweet Tooth #Sweet Tooth I remember thinking a few minutes into my first listen ”I swear I’ve read porn with this premise” #Glad Hosts felt *vaguely* familiar and it wasn’t until afterward that I realised #”oh this is basically just cliche dime-a-dozen mind-altering-parasite porn but with the conventional sexuality removed” #”I didn’t like this plot the *first* six times I read it” #(Sweet Tooth was much less horror-y so I liked it a lot better) #(have I mentioned lately I hate horror?) #oh look an original post
Reached “When Darkness Falls” in my Red Panda Adventures re-listen.
*gently lowers head onto table*
oh god
he’s so tiny
and he has no idea
(and that police officer that blows him off
was that
the same police officer who talks approvingly to the Black Eagle near the end)
Tags:
#Red Panda Adventures #reactionblogging #oh look an original post #you know #in terms of the number and magnitude of positive consequences #sparing Harry Kelly’s memory was probably the *single best move* the Red Panda ever made
80% of the eyeglasses in the world are made by Luxotica, that’s right, no matter the brand name, the source is the same, but not only do Luxottica make the frames, they make the lenses, they own the stores, they even own the largest eye insurance company, Eye Med – which is why they can charge you 400$ for a pair of glasses that costs maybe $20
75% of people who purchase eyeglasses need them out of medical necessity (as I do) so I went and tried the online shop Zenni Optical, and was able to buy no line bifocals with UV coating for less than $70, when LensCrafters wanted to sell me a pair for $550 – and that’s WITH insurance!
Nicest thing about Zenni? You can upload a photo of yourself to try on glasses, and if you don’t like them – YOU CAN RETURN THEM for credit! This is because you don’t need to gouge your customer to make money, glasses really cost only pennies to make. Now I can buy a couple of pairs, and have choices in what I wear, rather than investing hundreds of dollars – sometimes for quality that sucks.
Regardless of whom you buy from, don’t feed Luxottica any more.
Probably also applies to countries outside of US, Luxottica is Italian, and French lensmaker Essilor has agreed to buy Luxottica in a bid to create a new global giant in the sector. The combined group will have a market capitalization of around 46.2 billion euros ($49 billion), based on both companies’ closing share prices on Friday.
just google online eyeglasses and you’ll find plenty of links.
Zenni is international! I’ve been buying my glasses there now for years and I’ve never had any issues. Not with fit, not with lenses, not with breaks – nothing.
I have a strong, difficult prescription and was regularly paying upwards of $700AUD every two years for a single pair of glasses. I bought my current pair of glasses a couple years ago from Zenni and guess how much I spent?
…$7. In total. Frames and lenses. And they are singularly the best glasses I’ve ever had. I wear my glasses every waking hour of my life and these babies have not just survived but they look almost as good as when I first received them.
And because they are so cheap I also have a pair of sunglasses, and TWO pairs of alternative glasses I can wear when the mood strikes me. Since then my mom AND my dad, my uncle, and my cousin have all started to buy from Zenni.
BUY YOUR GLASSES FROM ZENNI! I cannot stress this enough. If you’re paying retail then you’re being ripped off.
I’ve reblogged this before and Ima reblog it again…
Zenni ain’t the only place out there. In fact I shopped there first then found other’s I liked better. I primarily buy off Eyebuydirect but I have also shopped at coastal and Zenni. Eyebuydirect has been overall my favorite. There prices are in the same price bracket as Zenni which is like $12-$80 for frames and where as zenni you can get lenses for free Eyebuydirect the lenses I think are like $14-18
but the quality of the glasses I have gotten from Eyebuydirect felt far superior to those I got from zenni, Eyebuydirect also has great customer service. Basically please look around the internet. Like just cause glasses are fucking awesome and deserve to be a fashion statement as well as a need.
I am currently wearing a pair of glasses from eyebuydirect that I paid a little over $100 I got frames that where $35 and I got those fancy blue coated lenses that help protect your eyes against looking at screens for extended time (I get way less headaches with them!) those lenses where a bit pricier.
but. in comparison, last I checked in at walmart (fucking walmart.) my lenses alone base cost would of been $140 that’s just the stupid glass discs not even the frames.
You do need to get a prescription from an optometrist, that you can’t avoid, however you don’t have to buy the eyeglasses from your optometrist, some don’t like that because that’s where they make their money – others are paid salary by their stores so they don’t care. Part of the prescription is the pupillary distance, and you’ve paid for that, so they have to give it to you. If they still don’t, Zenni has a ruler you can print out, so you can figure it out yourself.
Also, if you eyeglasses are not correct (I have no line bifocals and those can be an issue, though I’ve never had them with Zenni) you just send them back no charge to get re-made, or send them back for a refund. You don’t lose anything for trying except time.
I have gotten glasses from Zenni since 2013, and at this point I’ve probably saved thousands of dollars with how terrible my eyes are and how expensive my lenses turn out in stores.
Also, you should probably go to an ophthalmologist instead of an optometrist, at least if you haven’t been in a while. They are more trained in dealing with eye problems other than just getting your prescription right, but they do that too.
Tags:
#glasses #the more you know #I’ve had the same pair of glasses for over a decade now but I’m sure I’ll need new ones *eventually* #(the prescription won’t be a problem) #(I keep a copy of my glasses prescription in my wallet) #(and replace it every two years with the most recent one) #(it tends to change *slightly* each checkup but not significantly enough to be worth replacing my lenses just for that) #(and so far it doesn’t change in a consistent direction and thus doesn’t add up over time) #I should probably get a poverty/frugality tag; I’ve been talking about that more lately #I will take my cue from the ”who needs dragon capitalism” bit in the electricity post and call it #adventures in human capitalism #(note that ”adventures in dragon capitalism” is an already-established tag)
YOUNG MAN / THERE’S NO NEED FOR YOUR EYES / I SAID YOUNG MAN / TO ROLL UP TO THE SKIES / I SAID YOUNG MAN / JUST BECAUSE OF ONLINE / THERE’S NO NEED TO READ THE COMMENTS
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
This is the second quiz from Fetish and You chapter 3.
Picture transcript: Let’s look at some of the thoughts of an evolved fetishist. How many of these do you believe right now? How many of them would you like to adapt as your own?
Fetish Quiz #2 – An Evolved Fetishist’s Perception: 1. My fetish means that I have “out of the box” proclivities. 2. My fetish is a little quirky, but it’s just one part of my sexuality. 3. My fetish is sexually based. The only person who ever has to know is my partner. Even, then, disclosure is solely my choice. 4. I’m a good person based upon my behaviors, interactions and values. Fetish has no bearing on my character. 5. I accept that I have a fetish. 6. I am respectful of the fact that my partner or future partner may not initially understand my fetish. I can make a mindful decision about whether or not I want to tell my partner about my fetish. 7. My thoughts can never hurt anyone. I’m lucky to have something to think about that reliably helps me to orgasm. 8. I don’t believe I’ll be judged based on my fetish. By accepting myself, I can use my energy to be the best person I can be. 9. The more I learn, the more I know that I’m okay. 10. I’m in control of my fetish. It doesn’t control me. I incorporate fetish into my life in a safe, sane, balanced way.
How to Score How many of the modified statements did you agree with? If you agreed even once, you have an open mind. It’s my hope that by the end of this book, you’ll not only agree with every statement but that you will be living every statement.
My response: I agreed with 1*, 4*, 9 and 10*. I rewote them in my diary as: 1. My fetish makes me unique, and that’s OK. 4. I can’t help what turns me on. I’m a good person because I have morals. 9. The more I learn, the better I feel about it. Eventually I’ll be OK with it. 10. I can incorporate my fetish in my life in a balanced, healthy way. I can learn what’s appropriate and how to fit my fetish in.
* shaky belief, falls apart when I’m upset
…is it just me, or does this list conflate a healthy fetish with an unimportant fetish?
#2 and #3 are views that get imposed on me as part of the price of being a Respectable Member of the LGBT+ Community, not goals I aim for myself. I guess #6 could work for some people, but I can’t have a sexual* partner and not tell them about my fetish; what are we even doing sex-wise if not that?
(#1 evokes the stereotype of kinky people being sexually ~adventurous~, but to be fair I suspect she didn’t mean it that way.)
*I’m guessing from context that this is supposed to be the case.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #I don’t fit the narrative of #”your sexual-attraction patterns are an Integral Part of Your Identity but everything else sexual is a minor sideshow” #(not either half) #but I’ve seen enough to be scared of what will happen if I don’t *pretend* that I do
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