Month: April 2017

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

agwitow:

agwitow:

theseburns-neverfade:

tygermama:

agwitow:

just-shower-thoughts:

If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.

It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.

Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.

“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”

The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.

“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”

The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.

A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.

A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”

The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.

It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror

Have A gooD dy

Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)

You R out of MLK

And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.

Dear Occupente,

I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.

I am bord. Lonly.

I am sorrY 4 breaking things.

We be frends?

Syncerly Eloise

I love you, Eloise

okay but @agwitow I need a sequel to this, please. This made me so happy.

Ohmygoodness you guys! I didn’t realize how much people would like this. Thank you all :)

@theseburns-neverfade​ I hope the sequel lives up to your expectations ^.^

Keep reading

Part 3 of the Eloise Saga :)

Keep reading

Tags:

#storytime #ghost

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

feynites:

minesottafatspoollegend:

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed ‘Evil Chancellor Traytor’. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, ‘chancellor’ just came with the word ‘evil’ in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like ‘grand’ or ‘high’ or something along those lines.

Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called ‘the kingslayer’.

The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the ‘settlement’ in my sister and I’s closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog.

The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the ‘evil’ in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler – or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people.

But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader; because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the ‘machinery of politics’ working as smoothly as ever.

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he’d done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don’t know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like:

Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can’t the king see how wicked he is?!

Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!

Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king’s back, we’ll know where to look!

Evil Chancellor Traytor’s Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn’t looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs… *insert iconic evil laugh*

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom’s cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I’s games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special ‘episode’ where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor’s diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that ‘Traytor’s grave would have a body’ (this seemed very important for some reason).

And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called ‘Tyrant King Cobra’.

Tags:

#storytime #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death tw

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

usgsbiml:

What, not enough Wing Bling our Carpenter Bee friends?  Well check this out, Pilgrim, …. from Thailand.  Another Xylocopa specimen found lounging around the Packer Lab.  

So…did you know that Xylocopa lay the worlds largest insect egg?  

No, you did not.

All original pictures completely public domain and available at our Flickr site:https://www.flickr.com/photos/usgsbiml/

Photography Information:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-_yvIsucOY

Follow us on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/usgsbiml/

Public Bee Servant sam droege

Tags:

#bees #bugs #scopophobia #pretty things

Recommendation Spotlight: Too Like the Lightning

Link ~ ~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

{{Title link: https://parhelioncomic.com/2017/04/17/recommendation-spotlight-too-like-the-lightning/}}

orbispelagium:

parhelioncomic:

Wrote up a recommendation of Too Like the Lightning!

If you like Parhelion, then please, by Christ, read this. (It’s not a webcomic, it’s a book that costs money and stuff, but holy shit.)

Here’s an overview that doubles as a capsule review of the thing I need to make fanart for.

Tags:

#I’ve been wanting to read this but haha what is free time #(hell I’m supposed to be working on my term paper right now) #(sometimes I hate when my brain is like ”no we have to write This Specific Thing Right Now”) #(anyway) #I binged the author’s entire blog archive a little while ago and it was fantastic #(though I feel a little…I don’t know if ”unnerved” is the right word) #(about how she is clearly capable of extracting much more pleasure from food than I can) #(I *can* enjoy food but I can’t get *fifty euros worth* of enjoyment out of a meal) #(but I mean that’s also interesting in itself) #(she’s got all this great history-blogging and scattered through) #(are also these occasional hints of different qualia) #basically what I’m saying is that ”written by the same person who writes Ex Urbe” #is enough on its own to make me want to read this series #the OP is just ganache on the cake #(I do not like icing) #tag rambles #Terra Ignota #recs #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

Heart of Glory – 1.20

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

sttngfashion:

We’ve got a Worf-centric episode here, where we learn some things about Klingons and about Worf himself. What we do not have are a lot of essential fashions, but there are a few jazzy Klingon looks, so settle in and let’s have a look-see. 

The episode starts with Riker and Picard posing for their New Wave album cover on the bridge. 

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Hungry like the Worf

Keep reading

Tags:

#Star Trek #TNG #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Concept

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

immanentizingeschatons:

tyrantisterror:

tyrantisterror:

A cliche honorable warrior race ala the klingons, except replace “warfare” with “cooking”.  Still gruff and argumentative and quick to throw down, except their idea of throwing down requires them and their opponent to step into a kitchen and make the best goddamn pies they can as if their lives depend on it.

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“Shepard, your pie crust is bland and tasteless.  Only the krogans truly know the meaning of honor.”

Random worldbuilding time!

Their homeplanet of [SPECIES] is a world where nearly everything is incredibly toxic. 

This is the result of an unusual accident of evolution, their homeworld was the sight of two separate lasting abiogenesis events. Both forms of life have biochemistries often highly toxic to the other. Somehow, this did not prevent endosymbiosis much like that which happened on Earth from occurring, and the symbiotes managed to tailor their processes and products to avoid poisoning each other. All complex life on their world is the result of this union.

However, this means that evolution has a ready made arsenal of toxins to deploy against other organisms by making slight alterations. Sometimes by selective pressure to avoid predation, sometimes by coincidence, most native lifeforms are toxic to most other native lifeforms. Consumers are highly specific to certain kinds of food, and as such tend to have very restricted ranges where they can live.

But not the [SPECIES], who as intelligent tool using beings, became nomads when they overpopulated their native range.

But their was a problem- there was little that they could eat in their new homes without careful preparation. A lot of trial and error went into food preparation, as not all toxins could be burned or washed or filtered away easily, and many were sacrificed for the “good of the tribe”. Chefs, those who prepared the food, became the most elite and celebrated members of the tribe, with advanced skill and knowledge of tricky detoxification methods. It was expected that most members of the tribe have some ability in this area, and it became a norm that everyone must be the first to try their own food. Poisoning was a relatively common cause of death.

“Cooking duels” to the death became a thing, where chefs fight for their honor by attempting to prepare some especially dangerous rare delicacy- which they must be the first to taste.

Over time more knowledge and technology made food production much simpler and less dangerous, but the traditions remained as [SPECIES] entered the industrial age and, eventually, traveled between stars for the first time.

And so: a society of angry, obsessive chefs IN SPACE.

…

(I have no idea how plausible or coherent this is I was bored)

Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #food #in which Brin has a food poisoning phobia #(this post didn’t especially bother me) #(but I thought people who were familiar with my tagging system and had similar issues might be blacklisting that tag) #death tw