5) Ghost store provides better story to endlessly tell friends than “I went to store and it was unremarkable”. 6) Chance ghosts do not know about inflation (potential great deals).
(not to mention we’re all broke anyway. like other than that salient point. ;P I don’t even know who I’d ask to borrow money from, just the mechanics of long-distance money transfer when you haven’t got a bank account are really very frustrating)
Could you do a workaround with gift cards?
This is easier with places like Amazon, who explicitly support emailing store credit to people, but even some corporeal stores have setups that allow for transfers over the Internet.
Consider the following scenario:
Step 1: Alice, who lives in Ontario, goes to her local Tim Hortons restaurant and buys the lowest-denomination gift card available (probably $5).
Step 2: Alice goes to the Tim Hortons website and creates an account.
Step 3: Alice types in the long string of numbers on the back of her gift card, and the shorter string of numbers hidden behind scratchcard-like material on the back of the gift card. This registers the card to her account, granting it theft protection and–more importantly, in this case–the ability to transfer credit between one card registered to her and another.
(If Alice already has a registered Tim Hortons gift card lying around, she can skip Steps 1 – 3.)
Step 4: Bob, who lives 2000km away in Alberta, goes to his local Tim Hortons restaurant and buys a $20 gift card.
Step 5: Bob emails/IMs/communicates to Alice the two strings of numbers on his card.
Step 6: Alice registers Bob’s card to her account.
Step 7: Alice transfers the credit on “her” second card to her first card. Bob has now given Alice $20.
I don’t know if you have any gas station chains (or other stores selling stuff you need, but I gather you’re in particular need of gasoline atm) nearby with that kind of gift-card system, but it might be something to consider.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #I know this post is a couple days ago but this just occurred to me this afternoon #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #adventures in human capitalism
the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore
who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”
at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it
*stands majestically in a bucket*
ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in
It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.
Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.
The parley takes place on a sandbar – which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.
What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?
“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”
What I am saying is that there must have been a process.
++ for experimenting on curses (and everything else). Knowledge is power, kids!
Tags:
#Pirates of the Caribbean #fun with loopholes #a followup to the previous post #(might have actually been *intended* to be related to the previous post) #(the same person is involved in both reblog chains)
People pass their old technology close to him for his blessing and lo! It is upgraded. The miracle of the flip into the smart shall be told unto the ages.
eternalfarnham: Y’know what this world needs more of?
eternalfarnham: Themed restaurants.
maxiesatanofficial: Oh?
maxiesatanofficial: You have any theme in particular in mind?
eternalfarnham: Honestly, yeah — people go for “sinfully decadent” food, but no one ever carries that to its logical conclusion, you know?
eternalfarnham: That is to say, hell-themed restaurants.
maxiesatanofficial: Gluttony being the obvious section, of course, which would just be “huge portions.”
maxiesatanofficial: Wrath could have you contribute to the prep yourself – giving you a baked potato to mash, or uncooked food to sear, or something…
maxiesatanofficial: Though the latter might raise legal concerns.
eternalfarnham: Lust is all bananas and oysters and chocolate, supposed aphrodisiacs and “suggestive” food.
maxiesatanofficial: Hm, well.
maxiesatanofficial: I would actually point out that lust in the traditional sense *isn’t* limited to sex!
maxiesatanofficial: Any sufficiently “indulgent” or “rich” food would qualify, imo.
maxiesatanofficial: A matter of quality rather than gluttony’s quantity.
maxiesatanofficial: Greed is presumably gold flake and the like? Conspicuous consumption-y and/or presentation-focused stuff?
eternalfarnham: Fair enough — I guess I’ve been thinking of it in terms of Dante’s Inferno rather than broader definitions of the sin.
maxiesatanofficial: While Pride would be yer health foods.
eternalfarnham: Of course. And Sloth… maybe a bunch of pre-prepared snacks.
eternalfarnham: Stuff that takes very little effort to prepare /and/ eat.
maxiesatanofficial: Sensible.
maxiesatanofficial: …Envy is just you paying for the right to eat other people’s food.
maxiesatanofficial: It costs slightly more than double, so that they can still eat without having to pay more.
maxiesatanofficial: (But they still have to wait for their replacement portion to be prepared.)
eternalfarnham: “‘Scuse me, I ordered the Green-Eyed Platter, which is yours.”
eternalfarnham: And for parties, I’m picturing, like, special party meals based on the Inferno — like, for small parties or if you’re not all that hungry, you might get the Limbo Special for the virtuous pagans, right?
eternalfarnham: Just for appetizers and finger-foods.
maxiesatanofficial: Ha. I can dig it.
eternalfarnham: Whereas the dessert special is all ice cream from the lowest levels, with the head of the table getting the Satan Sundae.
eternalfarnham: And in the middle, I’m thinking — for the falsifiers, traitors, etc. — you’ve got, like, really complex, hot Italian food, since, y’know, Dante — and that was the section where he stopped /pitying/ the sinners, people say.
eternalfarnham: Like, he liked the people in lust and gluttony, etc., a little more, because he felt that sins committed from love rather than malice weren’t so awful.
eternalfarnham: At least, I think I’ve read that somewhere.
maxiesatanofficial: Huh, ‘zat so? Interesting.
eternalfarnham: Mind you, he defined “heresy” as an active, malicious sin.
eternalfarnham: But anyway — I figure if you want Italian, you say “We’d like the City of Hell Special,” and the waiter says “That’s our patented specialty.”
eternalfarnham: “Oh?” “Yeah, it’s the Dis course™!”
maxiesatanofficial: YOU FUCKING SACK OF GARBAGE I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS
maxiesatanofficial: I’M NOT OWNED
eternalfarnham: ;)
maxiesatanofficial: YOU PLAYED *RIGHT* TO MY WEAKNESSES
maxiesatanofficial: AAAAAAAA
eternalfarnham: i am chortling hard
Tags:
#puns #I’ve seen enough of @itsbenedict’s ”basketball games” that #I figured out it was one long lead-up to a pun only *most* of the way through #although the hell-themed restaurant is a genuinely interesting idea #food cw?
another dumb headcanon: superman is nice to birds because of course he is, and helps out birds who are in distress. also he can fly around with them. birds see a lot more of superman than they do of most people, basically. the unexpected consequence of this is that the crows of metropolis recognize superman as a friend. sometimes crows just follow him around like a weird flock, or try to give him shiny things. but mostly please just imagine luthor trying to gloat while threatening superman with kryptonite only to have a crow steal it. or just, generally, lex luthor getting attacked by crows. if that does not improve your day i don’t know what to tell you.
“What is that?”
Superman followed the direction of Batman’s gaze. A crow had landed on the rooftop beside them, and dropped a bottlecap near Superman’s feet. “Oh! Hey Francis. Is that for me?”
“Caw,” said Francis.
“Do you have a pet crow?” Batman asked.
“No, I don’t have pets,” Superman said as he bent down to retrieve the bottlecap.
“You named it.”
“Not this specific one,” Superman explained. “I just call all the crows Francis.”
“… why.”
“Caw, caw,” said Francis with a flap of its wings.
“I don’t know. Just calling them ‘crow’ felt rude after a while. I’d name them individually but I can’t actually tell them apart. Except for Old Francis and One-Eyed Francis.” Superman tucked the bottlecap into a small pocket on the back of his pants.
“Why Francis?”
Superman shrugged. “It’s gender neutral. I don’t want to misgender them just because they’re birds.”
“Of course you don’t,” Batman sighed, looking back out at Metropolis.
“Caw,” Francis added.
“Do you keep dog treats in your utility belt?” Superman asked.
“Why would I do that.”
“… in case you meet a dog that needs to know he’s a good boy?” Superman suggested. Batman shook his head, but opened a small pouch on his belt and held out a small treat. “See, it was a yes or no question, I don’t know why everything has to be such a production with you,” Superman said as he took it. He tossed it over by the bird’s feet. “Here you are, Francis. Keep up the good work.”
“Caw, caw,” Francis said. When it realized no more treats were forthcoming, it flew away in a flutter of black wings.
“You’re unbelievable,” Batman said, shaking his head again.
Superman took his eyes off the departing crow to look back at Batman, and frowned. “You know,” he said, “it’s really weird seeing you in costume during the day.”
“Don’t start.”
“It’s like seeing your teacher at the mall.”
“Don’t think I won’t take care of Poison Ivy without your help, if I have to.”
Superman shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
But…what if the crows also recognized him as Clark Kent? This mild-mannered reporter who doesn’t seem to do anything in particular to the crows that would make them like him, but they’re not afraid of him at all, and they keep trying to give HIM things, and Clark being a nice guy, he just. Accepts the bottlecap. Says thank you. Keeps walking. Lois adds another factoid to her “Weird Stuff About Clark Kent” file.
Maybe he tries to convince his coworkers that everyone is friendly with crows in Smallville. That the farmers discovered how smart crows are and decided to make friends with them instead of chasing them off.
Maybe he tries to talk the crows into palling around with him as Superman but going their separate ways as Clark Kent.
Please imagine Superman on top of a building holding Clark Kent’s glasses and trying to explain the concept of a secret identity to a flock of attentive birds.
Tags:
#Superman #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
has anyone made a memes on board the enterprise post
*pointing at a random piece of engineering equipment* is that a jefferies tube
imitating spock by saying “hey guess who i am” and then staring at kirk for upwards of five minutes wherever he happens to be
“broken replicators are xenophobic”
a whole week where everyone in medbay speaks in a southern accent to piss off bones except he actually doesnt notice he just takes it for granted
“captain kirk likes classical music pass it on”
whenever someone on bridge broadcasts some kind of report on a fucked up away mission its customary to turn to the person on ur left and say ‘i just wish theyd stop saying odd shit’
the xenobiology department likes to makes up random false facts about humans and include them in official reports. ‘humans actually have no bones’. ‘humans have a third eye under their left ear’
if u visit medbay at any given time theres a good chance someones going to say “congrats!!!! youre todays one MILLIONTH visitor!!!” the prize is a free hypo vaccination and you cant refuse it
the probability of this happening increases exponentially if you are jim kirk
literally anything chekov does
“thats more impressive than yeoman rand’s hairstyle”
excitedly running up to someone from the botany department and telling them youve discovered a new plant and seeing how long it takes them to figure out that the organism ur describing in complex science terms is actually earth grass
all the linguists have complex fake languages that they use to talk shit about everyone on board in public places
“this is worse than scotty drunk and trying to explain dilithium”
daily tally of shirts jim kirk has ripped
daily tally of times spock has raised an eyebrow
“raises eyebrow like spock on the bridge” as the colloquial ‘looks into camera like im on the office’ replacement
[during a battle] “this is just like that old terran movie star wars / battlestar galactica / the martian / gravity”
[in response to something unbelievable] “yeah and spock is straight”
– “is that a jeffries tube” steadily evolves from pointing at engineering equipment to at any ship equipment, then any tech at all, then anything. literally anything. [points at collection of rocks] is that a jeffries tube
– calling people ‘ensign’ when they fuck up / calling people ‘commander’ when they do good
– if jim overhears anyone complaining about anything trivial he throws an arm over their shoulders and says “you want to be captain, you say? you want to run this ship? be in charge of and responsible for this many people of this many species? you wanna lead negotiations with [insert next diplomacy mission here]? well why didnt you say so earlier!!!” then he starts trying to lead them to the bridge
– if they let him he will take them to the bridge and sit them in the charge & tell bridge they have the conn. and then refuse to do anything captain-y
– one time an ensign actually ran a first contact mission cause of this. it was a success apart from the thing with the fruit juice
– security officers travel at the speed of light
– especially if it’s a false alarm
– telling variations of the Scotty Transporting The Admiral’s Dog story, including ‘scotty beheads the admiral’s wife’, ‘scotty bodyswaps the admiral and his dog’, ‘scotty clones the dog’ and ‘everything is exactly the same but the admiral only communicates through mime’
– away mission bingo cards
– away mission superstitions
– theres a bed in the med bay with jim’s name on it. then one with spock’s. then sulu’s
– theories on what having your own med bay bed means, mostly revolving around bones being secretly married to people
– “this is just like that time on [prefix]-[random nearby object]-[suffix]”
– spocko
Tags:
#Star Trek #TOS #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
A lot of that would come down to whether force sensitive people were considered a protected class. There’s nothing in the Civil Rights Act that would specifically protect people from discrimination on the basis of force sensitivity (it has certain features of both race and religion, but probably not enough to qualify as either in legal terms), but in a world in which the force was known to be a thing when the act was passed, it might have been. Probably the best argument for them would be the precedent from Carolene Products, which states that the court will apply heightened scrutiny to laws concerning “discrete and insular minorities.” “Insular” here means essentially that there are substantial or insurmountable barriers to changing one’s status on that axis: race is a clear example, religion is a bit more mixed but typically still counts, profession clearly doesn’t qualify. In that respect, force sensitive people clearly do qualify (assuming that it’s genetic or otherwise innate, as in Star Wars).
So, such a law would already be questionable on Fourteenth Amendment grounds. The other major objection I can see is Fourth Amendment search and seizure doctrine. Bugs swarming an individual sounds pretty damn invasive and contrary to “the right of the people to be secure in their persons” in both principle and precedent. I’m not all that up on profiling law, but there are limits on suspicionless searches more generally: it was that, for instance, that wound up dooming the controversial Florida law mandating drug tests for welfare recipients.
To keep a law from being struck down on those grounds, and particularly given the minority interest at stake, the government would need to demonstrate that the law served a compelling state interest, and did so in a manner that restricted rights and liberties as little as possible while still serving that interest. To take the drug test example above: courts have ruled that mandatory suspicionless drug tests are permissible for city bus drivers, because driving a bus while under the influence would create the potential for far greater harm than an addict receiving food stamps. So the first question would be how much danger force-using criminals created. On that count I could see the government having a pretty strong argument: telekinesis, mind control, and the ability to kill a person without detectable weapons all have strong criminal potential, and I could see a crackdown happening if a force user assassinated a major public figure, for instance. It seems like the bug solution would have a hard time with the least restrictive means test, though, given both how invasive it is, and the fact that it identifies force sensitive individuals rather than force users specifically, let alone force users who have recently used the force to commit crimes or have access to powers of particular concern.
In sum, I could see it being used in areas with substantial security (courthouses, military and police offices, etc.), but I don’t think courts would take kindly to it being deployed in most public spaces.
Building from this, there are so many different and weird directions a writer could take this Force-bugs!USA in.
A selection of news ledes:
The FBI violated the Fourth Amendment by planting Force-bee hives near the entrance of a county courthouse in the Bay Area, a federal judge has ruled.
Police officers deployed Force bees after a recent spate of Force choking, arrested residents of swarmed houses, and searched the premises. Despite obtaining a warrant for the search that resulted in the arrest and conviction of choker Anakin Skywalker, Judge Kenobi has thrown out the conviction as a result of an overly-broad search warrant.
Force bees from hives known to belong to out-of-state Drug Enforcement Agency hives were seen by National Lawyers Guild observers during recent protests in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Several alleged Force-sensitives were arrested by police during the protests after bees swarmed the protesters.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHICH CELEBRITIES ARE FORCE-SENSITIVE! We went undercover with a swarm of bees to find out.
A honeybee farmer was attacked today in an apparent case of mistaken identity, after Force bees swarmed several houses in northern Maine.
Leading chemical research and development company Nüdrugs is proud to announce Force Off™, a line of Force bee repellants. The product is already in deployment with military and government customers, and is now being release on the open market for family and household use.
The Force Off brand of Force bee repellants contain synthetic pheromones that differ per batch, and appear designed to allow tracking of users, a Cornell research team announced Tuesday.
Tags:
#can’t vouch for the accuracy of the legal stuff but this is entertaining #Star Wars
Brinens and Things 