PERSONALS FROM THE PAST! These are from the Daily Mail, 4th of May 1896…
BESSIE – darling. – Mother wishes you many happy returns of the day. You said, to avoid all reproachful letters, you would keep your whereabouts unknown for the time. Is the time not yet ended? There shall be no reproachful letters; but for Heaven’s sake let me hear of or from you. There is no need, dear, of all this secrecy, unless a stronger will than your own is at work to keep you silent. Even if this is so, don’t keep me longer without a word. It is so hard, my darling.
TO OAK – Oh, why have you left me for so long? This suspense is killing me. When you took me to the circus you swore you would never leave me. Think how you are keeping that promise! If you do not come back to me soon I fear I shall be tempted into accepting one of the offers of marriage I am receiving almost daily – Ivy.
UNCLE JIM – Come home at once. All is forgiven. Bring the pawntickets with you. – Niece.
WILL the gentleman who took away by mistake the Brown Pony standing outside the Star and Garter, on City and Suburban day, kindly send to the same place for the trap, or return pony? One is no use without the other.
OH BUT WAIT these were in the paper on the 5th. SURPRISE Oak is a dick! BUT WHERE IS UNCLE JIM???
IVY NO
Tags:
#history #disadvantages like how people from the distant future are *still* gossiping about you? #that might not be a disadvantage depending on how you look at it #it’s kind of cool
I have frequently seen LGBT Americans make jokes about getting copies of a gay agenda and I’m 95% sure that these are completely non-serious.
But
I think I should *check* because if there *is* a gay agenda, I totally want one. I mean, I’m p gay, but not always an agenty protagonisty one. I could use an agenda.
This post is about 20% serious. if this is a legit thing you Americans have been holding out on, I want to know where to sign up for a copy Right Now.
If you don’t know where I can get one, would you be kind enough to reblog until this post finds someone who *does*? KTHXBIA!
Tags:
#there’s a blog called The Asexual Agenda #but that’s not quite the same thing
How come everyone but me is getting weird anonymous nick-names? A lot of you reblogged that shit from me! (I’m whining because my hands hurt from typing. And because I’m like a child when no one pays attention to me. Ignore it, it will pass.)
I don’t know what an anonymous nickname is what is going on guys halp
#I am beginning to get the impression that Alison (sinesalvatorem) and Noelle (enscenic) are making friends #what have I done #(…I’m sure it’ll be fine) #(probably) #reply via reblog
t’s an Olloclip for my phone. All of these are at 7x magnification. It goes up to 21x, but at that point I feel like I’d be taking photos of individual grains of pollen.
I’ve had macro lenses before, but not since I changed phones awhile ago, and I tend to go a little mad every time I get a new one. All unknown bugs are submitted to bugguide.net for ID, so hopefully I’ll know soon!
(Someday I’ll shell out for the lens on the good camera and THEN we’ll see some hot bug action!)
Nothing wrong with taking photos of individual grains of pollen.
Tags:
#bugs #I took a picture of a beetle with my phone recently #but I don’t have a magnifier so it’s not as awesome a picture #what was awesome was that it went like this: #’Hey that’s a neat beetle on Dad’s leg.’ #Dad (not seriously): ‘We should take a picture of it.’ #Me: ‘…hey wait a minute *I have a camera on my phone*’ #’*I’m totally going to take a picture of it*’ #Me: *boots up phone* *takes picture* #(it was already off his leg and in the grass by that point) #(but oh well)
Saw another post on the DS9 tag praising the scene in By Inferno’s Light where Martok and Worf totally respect Garak for going into the crawlspace despite his claustrophobia, and say how brave it is of him.
And it got me thinking about that douche who thought Data wouldn’t make a good captain in Unification because ‘You wouldn’t see a Klingon as a counsellor’ (or a … whatever his other example was) – and I’m convinced he’s 100% wrong, and that a Klingon is as likely as any other race to be a counsellor.
Really, it’s all tied back to the ridiculous assumption (which TNG unfortunately seemed to perpetuate at times) that every single Klingon in the entire Empire is a warrior (never mind that we’ve seen Klingon scientists and judges and more) and therefore lol don’t be silly they don’t have any mental health professionals of any kind. Yeah, cause that makes sense.
As if a Klingon counsellor wouldn’t see helping their patients overcome their mental illnesses as a worthy battle.
If Martok and Worf can recognise the bravery in fighting internal fears, then there’s no reason to think that other Klingons wouldn’t feel the same.
So in conclusion, I now really want to see/read about a Klingon counsellor.
“Tell me about your fear,” Dugath said.
The Klingon youth sitting in the chair across from him shuffled nervously, eyes downcast, before looking up at the older Klingon with a practiced sneer. “There is no fear,” the youth said. “I am a warrior. Warriors do not know fear.”
“Then you are a fool,” Dugath growled. “Fear is what keeps a warrior alive. Fear tells him that danger is near, and that his life is in danger. A warrior should not be ruled by fear, but neither should he deny it.”
The youth remained silent. “To admit your fear takes great courage,” Dugath said. “Perhaps more courage than leaping into battle against many foes: for the only foe you now face lies within you, where no blade can pierce.”
The youth’s lower lip trembled, but he stilled it with a supreme force of will. “I dream of the night on Vikoth Nine,” he admitted at last.
“The night when you won your battle honors? The night of which the others still celebrate in song?” Dugath asked.
“They should not celebrate what is not deserved!” the youth growled. “There was no courage in my killing of the Romulans. Only fear and luck. Why do they sing songs of my courage, when so many more courageous and worthy warriors remain unspoken?”
Ah, thought Dugath. Much becomes clear. The face of my enemy is revealed.
The old Klingon said a silent prayer to Kahless as he prepared to do battle against the troubles infesting the youth’s mind, as he prepared to use all his courage and skill to polish and sharpen the blade that was a warrior’s soul.
Ohhhh Kahless, someone actually wrote something based on my offhand idea from a few weeks ago?!
THIS IS FANTASTIC~! And exactly how I picture a Klingon therapy session <3 <3
Tags:
#Star Trek #fanfic #hat-tip to cosmictuesdays for linking me this
I seem to have acquired quite a backlog of shitty summaries. While I intend to write a summary for every blog that has requested one, this does mean that it may take a while (2+ days) to get through all of them. Plus, new ones come all the time (and I welcome them).
My original plan was to go through them all in order of when the request was made. However, it was pointed out to me that a lot of people would be more cash-rich/time-poor than me. (I’m not sure about time-rich right now, but I’m *definitely* cash poor).
So, to ensure fairness, I’ve implemented capitalism :p
If you want your summary pushed to the front of my queue of things-to-write, you can send an Amazon gift card to my inbox, which I can then convert into American dollars. Larger amounts go first.
Note that giving me money is *not* a requirement for getting a summary in the first place. I intend to get around to every request. For the uncompensated ones, I’ll try to go in the original first-come first-served order.
The people who have asked for shitty summaries but not yet received them (that I can think of off the top of my head), in no particular order, are:
As always: You can request one for yourself by reblogging the Request A Summary post, I’ll do one for anyone that follows me, and you can skip to the front of the queue by paying for your entertainment like a pleb.
Since their pings didn’t work*, I figure enscenic and by extension mr-prism will never see this unless I reblog it. Here you go.
*My first thought was that maybe pings don’t work on blogs marked NSFW, but I’ve also seen pings fail for blogs that probably aren’t marked that way. *shrug*
sigmaleph is a sofa who is rumored to write things. Like all sofas, this one hovers above the ground and traverses the open planes of prehistoric earth. Why do they do this? Well, why does anyone do anything strange that you can’t understand? Because they hate freedom, of course.
When this sofa lazily ambles down the road, children and small woodland creatures flock to them. They are constantly mobbed by small birds attempting to make capitalism. But does Sigmaleph help them to make capitalism? No! They HATE cute little parasitic cowbird babies. HATE them. They hate all good, cute things. They once came across a Precious Cinnamon Roll, and they ATE it! Have they no SHAME???
They’re the type of pretentious bourgeois intellectual who corrects people’s Spanish and discusses why signaling isn’t really about signaling. Thus far, every pretentious intellectual I’ve summarised has either been a
Degenerate Cuckster or a Degenerate Cuckster Wannabe. Since correlation always = causation, this proves that Sigmaleph is degenerate. Then again, so is Tumblr is general, so w/e.
But if my hardcore Logic™ above didn’t convince you of their degeneracy, what about the fact that they read MLP fanfic, huh???? It is impossible to go anywhere near MLP without acquiring degenerate ideas like friendship being optimal. Yuck.
Friendship: Not Even Once
And, of course, even their friendships are degenerate. Take, for example, their association with flowery pretty gays like nihilsupernum. Sure, he’s an agenty, protagonisty gay, but that’s not the point! Given this Indisputable Evidence, it is safe to assume that Sigmaleph is a *floral print* sofa. Disgusting.
They are also a Utilitarian, which means that they’re Evil and Immoral. They would feed dust specks to a kid in Omlas’s basement. They think we should have never-ending babies until there’s no more world left! That’s why they gave birth to the president! Twice! Sofas giving birth is about as degenerate as it gets, TBH.
They have literally made a deal with devil in which they literally correct anyone who misuses the word “literally”. They also support devil-worship in a more general sense. Their blog is literally the triple point between atheism, molten statues of Satan, and grammatical pedantry.
Follow sigmaleph if you want all your furniture to float away and get knocked up by Satanists.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #just…just read all of these #they are amazing #read them in order they build off each other #(you’ll understand more of the jokes if you have a decent grasp on rationalist subcultural references) #(but I’m pretty sure they’re still funny without it)
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 